Cynthia McKinney
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[edit] Cynthia McKinney
Finally kicked out of the U.S. House of Representatives in January 2007, Cynthia McKinney is best known for starting shit, sucking up to Saudi oil princes, and generally being stupid.
[edit] The Shit She Started
Back in January 2006, McKinney was minding her own business and waltzing into the Longworth House Office Building like she owned the damn place. There's a metal detector by the door of that office building designed to prevent forks from being brought in unawares. Everyone has to go through the metal detector except for swanky elected representatives. Avoiding the metal detector is a congressional "perk", along with free blowjobs from the fattest male and female interns, and all they have to do to get by the metal detector is wear a pin that says "I'm a hot shit representative, asshole, so fuck you."
McKinney decided not to wear her pin one day, and waltzed past the metal detector like she still owned the place. A security guard who was troubled by this law-flouting said "Excuse me, ma'am, can you please go through the metal detector like everyone else? There was a fork threat earlier today, and we have to make sure you're not carrying any forks." In response, McKinney struck the security guard with a closed fist, also known as the Fathomless Ocean Palm. She was promptly escorted away for being uppity. McKinney then successfully played the Race Card, claiming she'd been accosted because of her skin's melanin content, not because she was breaking the law or anything like that.
The Democrats firmly responded by proceeding to put this Negress in her place.
[edit] Sucking Up to Saudi Oil Princes
Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal, who got into the Saudi royal family by marrying two of its goats, offered Mayor Giuliani a ten million dollar check in October 2001 if Giuliani would agree that America deserved September 11th. Giuliani told Talal to go piss up a rope, but McKinney was eager to lick the butthole of this foreign agitator.
McKinney wrote a letter begging Talal to give her the money instead; in return she would offer Talal fifty fine white slaves and build an edifice in his honor with an eternally burning American flag. She also explained in the letter that she was not a goat. Talal, eager to marry yet another goat, searched long and hard for the stable master but could not find him. Instead, he paid McKinney ten bucks to give him a handjob and then he went back to the desert.
[edit] General Stupid Stuff She's Associated With
Cynthia McKinney's dad doesn't like Jews at all. No, sir, he does not. He's made remarks that Jews have purchased everyone on the planet, and then went on to spell the word "Jews" out loud in case people weren't clear to whom he was referring.
McKinney has claimed that she does not hate jews.
McKinney has also claimed that Albert Gore had an unspecified allergy to melanin.
