D. C. Simpson
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| SIMPSON JUST ANNOUNCED THAT HE IS ENDING OZY AND MILLIE!!11 |
D. C. Simpson is a furry hippie web cartoonist whose most notable contribution to the world is proving that liberal humor can be just as unfunny and whiny as conservative humor.
Contents |
[edit] Comics
Take ‘Calvin and Hobbes.’ Remove all the humor, insight, tenderness and originality and replace it with smug leftard bullshit about Bushitler and Amerikkka. Oh, and make Calvin a fox. Congratulations! You’ve created ‘Ozy and Millie,’ a comic that coasts by entirely on people’s residual goodwill toward Bill Watterson. The comic tackles topics such as:
- Painfully forced gentle bemusement at all this crazy modern politics
- Painfully forced gentle besmusement at all this crazy modern technology
- Painfully forced gentle bemusement at all this crazy modern media culture
- Painfully forced gentle besmusement at all this crazy modern pop-psychology
Simpson also writes a second comic, ‘I Drew This,’ where his pinko sensibilities are even more on display. This comic has a liberal eagle in it. This eagle wears a beret, because Simpson is the sort of Godless commie fag who thinks Europe is a liberal utopia where everyone shits ice cream and pisses socialized medicine. And he’s a creatively-bankrupt pussy who can’t help but embrace stereotypes. Seriously, a beret? What the fuck?
Simpson also added himself to the Evergreen State College wikipedia page as a “notable alum.”
[edit] The Furluminati have Simpson's back
There are two sorts of furries in the world: there are those who are so unable to come to terms with their unspeakable perversity that they break down and fetishize everything, turning life into one big yiffy skritchy orgy of sad. Then there are those who are so unable to come to terms with their unspeakable perversity that they break down and shut out anything sexual, turning life into a happy, fluffy Disney-esque orgy of innocence. And sad. Simpson is the latter. His fear of sex is so all-encompassing that he has dedicated his life to protecting the cherished innocence of his creation; he has been known to fly into an insane rage if anyone were to mention the words ‘sex’ and ‘Ozy and Millie’ in the same sentence. And, boy, does he freak if he sees porn of them. Keep this in mind when you’re thinking of trolling him.
Because of Simpson’s extreme sensitivity to butt-hurt and his legion of slavering fantards, ‘Ozy and Millie’ is the only thing that furries are afraid to draw porn of. Even Dave_Kelly pussed out in trolling Simpson, slapping a “I’m sooooo sorry” disclaimer on his parody, so afraid was he of Simpson’s achy mangina. At least 100 years ago, CrushYiffDestroy also mysteriously removed a critique of Simpson’s work[1].
Rumor holds that Simpson has a fetish for shaving, but, unable to deal with it like a rational adult, he instead slips subtle clues as to his wanking proclivities into his supposedly family-friendly strip.
[edit] The Terrible Bluebitch Soul Rape
Last Thursday, Simpson decided he wasn’t getting enough attention, so he declared that he was a woman trapped in a man’s body, a bold gambit well-known in the web comic world. A week later, he changed his mind, but anonymous does not forget. A caricature of Simpson’s fursona (a blue dog thing) cutting its dick off with scissors originated on the CYD forums and quickly began making the rounds. Simpson was shocked, SHOCKED, that anyone would dare mock him, and he responded the only way he knew how: by crying about it in his livejournal. Hilariously, Simpson claimed the picture had almost raped him, and said the existence of first-amendment protected parody pictures making fun of his fake dog character was “like being groped on the subway, then haughtily told that the person who did it has the first amendment right to do so.”
Because Simpson apparently doesn’t like his precious first amendment very much when it’s used against him.
mi_stabbi offered this bit of sympathy: “The group that did it (apparently there's a group) - people who would do something like this, they're not artists. And telling a person who's soul got raped (no matter who it is) to "get over it" is a cruel thing to say.”
Simpson’s official reaction to the picture was to cry the tears of ultimate sadness like the little pussy he is. And then to write this:
So, to the person who upset me on this occasion: yes, you got to me. You got a reaction. You got your drama. I imagine it lightened up your sticky-dimly-lit basement for a few hours, didn't it? I imagine your graveyard 7-11 shift just flew by. You managed to take a very personal symbol of mine, blend it with mocking me for perhaps the single most sensitive and private issue of my life, and yeah, you kind of ruined my day. If that makes you feel a little better for a day or two--fine. Congratulations--what you lack in talent and worth you have obviously learned to compensate for with a lack of shame, decency and respect--and if briefly making me feel very bad lightened your world, well, it's never going to top my list of public services I've performed, but I suppose even in this sordid affair I've done someone some kind of good, so whatever.”
This reaction caused high drama on the CYD forums as CYDiots quickly divided themselves into feuding camps: Pissy Simpson fanboys suddenly showing their true colors and Noble Trolls. The delicious in-fighting continued in Drama_Awesome, where postvixen even weighed in to say BOO HOO HOO STOP TRANNYSECUTING US.
[edit] RHJunior vs. D. C. Simpson
On November 15, 2006, 34-year-old virgin right-wing loon RHJunior, a furry responsible for his own line of political shit-toons, followed the example of his neocon heroes and declared war on Simpson with a series of half-assed rant comics after seeing this comic of Simpson's which he thought was mocking him. To the grave disappointment of dramaticians everywhere, Simpson failed to rise to the bait, instead posting in his livejournal about how he was totally not going to respond because he was the better man. Hayes tried to keep the drama going with another anemic swipe, this time a baffling caricature. For more information on this exciting slapfight, see RHJunior
[edit] Further Trolling
Continued trolling of Simpson is encouraged, as each troll sends him away to weep with his parents and pushes him just that much closer to becoming an hero. Need more reasons to troll him? Okay!
- He continues to insist that he's a tranny, despite being denied by his therapist on multiple occasions.
- He firmly believes that he and The Simpsons creator Matt Groening are spiritual siblings, and that the character of Lisa Simpson is directly based on his life and actions.
- (11:56:08 PM) bluedragon0477: Matt Groening and me, brother and sister under the skin. :-)
- He enjoys roleplaying on furry mucks and Second Life as little girl furries. He also enjoys having virtual sex with these characters, and using them to indulge the shaving fetish (see above) that occasionally crops up in his abortion of a comic.
- He has no job to speak of. His income consists of furfag donations and leeching off his boyfriend.
- He produces porn of his characters under a pseudonym and throws a fit when it shows up on the internet and/or others do the same.
Easy trolling opportunities:
- His LJs: rain_luong and bluerain (Primarily friends-only)
- His boyfriend's LJ: orv
- His bestest artist buddy, Thomas Dye's LJ: kevinjdog
- AIM: bluedragon0477 (Seldom online. Try trolling his boyfriend instead: orvgull)
- Second Life (SL username unknown)
[edit] External links
- rain_luong
- Ozy and Millie
- Define Cynical, Ozy and Millie fansite
- DeviantArt
- Postvixen critiques CYD's critique of DC Simpson
- Some gimp critiques Postvixen's critique of CYD's critique
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D. C. Simpson is part of a series on Furfaggotry |
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