Darviela Maravarona
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
Darviela Maravarona is an autistic Savant who thinks the internet is serious business and will stop at nothing to prove himself right through the use of retard logic. Darviela or "Voland" is about 6' 3" and ranges from 140-170 pounds. He wears blue jeans with a button down shirt that is often a shade of red, zebra striped socks and low rise briefs. He also wears a zebra striped scarf that he uses to tie people up with. He has a pet Persian cat which is rumored to be a sibling of the tiddy cats commercial cat, therfore royalty. Darviela is the love child of BRB bacement man and bacement girl, which explains why he looks so fugly and deformed. It would seem dogs of all different breeds seem to have an affinity for Darviela, this could be due to the fact that dogs are trained to take care of retards. Darviela also claims to be an expert of pakour and often walks with an epicurean grace.
Darviela: on YouTube
INB4 DARVIELA HACKS THE ACCOUNT OR FLAGS THE VIDEO ATLEAST 100 TIMES.
Some faggot friend of Charmander's Calls the cops on darviela and they hang up on him.
Darviela: AKA VOLAND TAKES DOWN FACEPUNCH
Darviela has in the past gone by the forum name "Voland" and until recently was permanently banned from facepunch. He recently made several posts yabbering about a "REBIRTH" and how he would lead the people of oify back to the promise land. Several people called him a weeaboo faggot and he threatened that "THE KRAKEN" would "COME SOON" about 2-4 houres after that post facepunch went down. It would appear as though darviela has activated his autism powers.
The site then went back up and was extremely laggy and buggy and voland had made a post saying that he has "baptised the oify so that is may be reborn anew in my chaotic embrace" and that "THE KRAKEN LIVES". Everybody is flipping out right now and it looks like the beginnings of the single largest coup d' tete the internet has ever seen. Voland was then permma-banned for reason "jerks off to child porn", a sad sad day for the oify. A great sparkling sunshine for all the nazi moderators and admins of facepunch. The prophecy has faild. It is speculated that darviela did not take down facepunch and the reason facepunch was down is that its shitty server got its tubes clogged by all the drama and user activity in one place which was a direct result of darviela.
Darviela: fail raiding on ED
After being informed of this article, he had a massive cry and went on a fail rampage by blanking shit. Now, he will probably use proxies to make accounts and blank moar shit, but the epic admins of ED will foil his faggy plans.
Darviela: "banning" MSN accounts
Darviela has recently gone on a rampage of what he referred to as "Contacting MSN and getting them to ban your account". To the average person this is believable, but all Darviela is really doing is using an MSN freezer that any Autistic fuckface could use and spending his unlimited amounts of disposable time to run these apps on every account that he is "banning". Darviela thinks that doing this gives him power and makes him feared, when really anyone could download the program.
- ""STEPS TO FREEZING DARVIELA'S MSN""
- 1. Download the latest MSN freezer from http://msntricks.blog.de/
- 2. Insert aaronkb@optonline.net into the MSN freezer field
- 3. Click Freeze
- 4. ??????????????
- 5. PROFIT!
Darviela: Ventrilo Drama
Darviela Maravarona first came to a Ventrilo server inspired by 4chan. Because of his constant butthurt from people making fun of his autism and his charades of telling people what they can or can't do, he got banned. He then figured out how to use proxies in order to try to get around his bans, but of course the price of proxies is HORRIBLE LAG in which he tried to tell everyone off but couldn't transmit clearly enough for people to understand or give a shit.
When this Ventrilo had its mix with the YTMND Ventrilo, Darviela fled over there seeking acceptance but was immediately shut out when he couldn't shut the fuck up. He got banned from there, too, and went to great lengths to try to get around his bans. He even posted on a forum begging for information on exploiting a possible security hole that's only a rumor.
After this article was posted, Darviela tried to complain to both Ventrilos about it. Noone knows why he keeps coming to those servers if he's so much "smarter" than everyone else there. In any case, dirty niggers enjoy cumming on his neck. He is also a necropyrobestipedophile, meaning he enjoys having sex with dead puppies that are on fire. He also bears a striking resemblance to Emo Philips.
UPDATE: Darviela has been seen at this server chi4.ugt-servers.com 11268 Darviela May also be amassing an army from the "breadbox" vent in attempts to retake geko or ytmnd.
Update: Darviela Maravarona is no longer assisting the users of "stupid shit" vent. If you need a mega strong dose of autism power contact Darviela at his MSN aaronkb@optonline.net. Since he is no longer after staticman he is probably convincing little girls and boys to pose nude for him.
Update: Darviela Maravarona's Dox
http://www.shortText.com/z420kv inb4 he deletes this
Update: Staticman's Dox
http://www.savefile.com/files/1456466 inb4 vandals delete link
Update: Charmander's DOX (She may be moving soon.) Not anymore, her boyfriend punched her int he face and kicked her out. http://shorttext.com/fbom2hysp
Update: Darviela recently made an attempt to invade Ten Mile Rock (carbon.typefrag.com 52370) but was banned on sight by owner Sean Strife. However, Strife could be heard maniacally laughing after saying he unbanned him "under certain conditions". More on this as it comes in.
Update: Voland is at FUCKING WAR with Zombie Jamboree the owner of supreme delux vent. Zombie continues to fight the war from his grandmother's basement.
Update: Darviela has decided to stay at the 'Supreme Delux Vent' despite the numerous nay sayers to his continued existence. Also, Bismuth.typefrag.org:33300 arsenic.typefrag.com:21640.
Darviela: Second Life
Darviela is extreamly gullible on second life and will fall for almost anything. This is due to the corporate bailouts causing darvielas brain to go bankrupt, so almost anything will work on him. His second life account is Voland Destiny and he hangs around W-hat where he is ridiculed constantly. Rightfully so voland is a worthless retard. Voland is universally hated in most all the world of secondlife, this is due to him being a non-funny R-tard.
Darviela: Recent Events
SRSS FUCKING BSNSS http://anonib.com/tinychat/res/42.html
Darviela VS Charmander Charmander refuses to give voland her bate video and this causes him to cry on cam. Then he dox drops her and her pedophile boyfriend and she gets super mad. Then Darviela under the name Autism_Creeper Somehow manages to shut down a wide range of tinychat rooms and ban several ips from the site. He reportedly cautioned charmander several times about being mean to him and said he would 404 everything she cared about even her house.
Also http://www.zshare.net/video/66345558ea0c2545/ Video of Darviela Crying like a baby because charmander is so mean to him.
Voland is still on the prowl, He's been spotted recently trying to purchase CP from various people.
[6:24] Voland Destiny: (Saved Tue Sep 02 02:56:25 2008) I wonder did you manage to save any of the child porn from your old accounts onto this new one or have you left that behind?
Update: Voland has recently disappeared off the face of the internets for reasons unknown. However top experts at woodbury university speculate that it could have something to do with his intimate involvement in Project Cold 6. While this is good news that the people of the interbuts no longer have to deal with the cancer that is voland it could be a prequel to a labyrinthine series of attacks on strategic targets that are seen as enemys of voland. Time will tell if Voland has finally committed An hero or is actually plotting a revival of the Cold 6 system and by extension its aggressive functions and capabilities.
Voland apparently has a home in W-hat
"<~nex> my floor sure isnt drying, i wonder if opening a window would help
- nex changes topic to 'Home of Voland, Inc (C) |<etep> ew gross help smalls bad | <tenj> nex whats v-sync <nex> its when you and your girl friend are both virgins | zipperz Waffle: Wow i bet you think your cool because you banned me well your just a faggot who will never get to eat pussy| Copperhead�'
<Twiminy> voland is getting old and i havent seem him in a while <@etna> <�11SYSTEM�> JOIN: Carfax Gutter has entered what"
Some of you may remember Mrlunk Vroom from the lulsy chatlogs in this article, Were voland warns MrLunk of his impending demise due to failure to follow the rules. Well now I present to you a group notice from the 1% button group
Hi Button hoppers and buton owners... 1st of all thank you all a lot for trusting an beleiving in my 1L$ button network... I appreciate you joining and participating in what I thought was a great traffic/advertising network.... But the Linden Labs 'Government' has issued a load of rules on advertising wich have brought me 2 serious warnings upto now.... I have no choice but to close the whole 1L$ Button network down, or I will lose my account and with it all my other projects , machines, products and Land ! I hope you understand that there is really no other way for me... Greetz, MrLunk Voom
HOLYSHIT: Darviela has been attempting to avoid E-publicity by changeing all his online names to Charmander in honor of the really gay tatto on his back. He also seems to think that long hair is in and that he will pull mad bitches with it.In attempts to escape being an insufferable faggot irl darviela has changed his hair color to a trashy red so he can feel more like his childhood hero charmander.
Darviela: Communicating
Nex a member of W-hat had this to say.
[2008/08/23 16:14] [IRC] Fuckshoes: Voland [2008/08/23 16:14] [IRC] Fuckshoes: I have a question for you [2008/08/23 16:14] Voland Destiny: yes? [2008/08/23 16:14] [IRC] Fuckshoes: What did you do? [2008/08/23 16:14] Voland Destiny: I don't know. [2008/08/23 16:14] Voland Destiny: I was never told [2008/08/23 16:14] [IRC] Fuckshoes: Can you expand on that? [2008/08/23 16:15] [IRC] nex: don't encourage him [2008/08/23 16:15] Voland Destiny: I am sorry I don't know. [2008/08/23 16:15] [IRC] Fuckshoes: Damnit masa, you're no fun [2008/08/23 16:15] [IRC] nex: it's a risky endeavor [2008/08/23 16:16] [IRC] nex: one false step and you'll send him on an hour long pseudophilosophical rant that nobody understands like a cutscene out of metal gear solid
Darviela: tried to get nudes of another man
The following MSN conversation is between Darviela under his e-mail as his display name and someone by the name of Bunny... of course, it's not revealed in this conversation who they are until the name Kyle is dropped, referring to Bunny. It could be Kylee, but we can only assume it's Kyle for the lulz of assuming Darviela is a homosexual. The homosexual theory makes sence because both of the people in this conversation come from facepunch forums.
Darviela: is a Philosophical Genius
Darviela claims superiority over most people because he started going to college when he was only 14. He often has an uncontrollable compulsion to argue with republicans and pro lifers, taking great pleasure in cutting at the knees of their arguments with his autistic logic.
Darviela: and Pedophilia
Darviela had a history of posting on Facepunch Studios under the accounts Voland and fnog, but his posting career was abruptly cut short when he was banned by Hezzy for repeatedly posting pictures of naked minors. He stated, quite innocently, that he liked to paint pictures of their genitalia and curves and was sharing the photos so fellow members could appreciate the beauty of the naked form. Darviela later angrily accused his banner of being a pedophile, for interpreting the images of little naked girls lying spread eagle on beds as pornography, rather than the art that they truly were. Clearly the Admin was a total pedo. It was also said that in the time when Voland was in power he would say "let the little children come to me." and he would protect them from the storm with the defencive lazers that came from his penis. If you see voland in a store or on a street make sure to call the FBI so that they can Van him.
Warning: The FBI have just received reports that Darviela is back to his old habits. He is trolling stickam for little boys that will strip for him! Something must be done to prevent this. Whenever you see him flag him for inappropriate so he gets banned. Be wary as he will try and convince you to join him and help him molest young boys. Do NOT look into his EYES!
Update: Darviela was recently trying to convince a 14 year old boy over ventrilo to strip down and post nude pictures of himself for Darviela's sick enjoyment. Darviela is a gay pedophile and a sick fuck who should be shot if seen.
Update: Unconfirmed reports indicate that Darviela Maravarona is the rape child of basement girl and BRB Basement man. Rumor has it that when basement man was raping a young girl in his basement for several years dark necromantic energy swirled into his anus and caused a "fail-hole". A Fail-hole is not unlike a blackhole except that unlike blackholes it forces gravity outward and with it all sorts of fail energy and anti-lulz particles. The Fail-hole that formed in the anus of basement man fused with the cremated remains of the god queen of DickButt. This caused Basement man's anus to implode sucking in the young girl and then after her still living bodie gestated inside the bowels of basement man she was then expelled forcefully. Her vagina was replaced with basement man's anus and basement man's anus was now her vagina and with this he proceded to summon the KRAKEN. The KRAKEN made sweet love to his vaginabutt and then he became pregurs. About 1 year after this event Darviela Maravarona was born and shortly after basement man's anal-vagina was replaced with a flaming dick of doom and bad luck which lead to the discover of the girl in his basement. This would explain why darviela is full of such fail and why he looks very much like a trap.
Darviela: Funfacts
- - Darviela has a vagina
- - Darviela can use autism power if he rolls a 1,3,5,6,9 or 0 if he rolls an 8 your fucked.
- - Darviela tried to get hockles (12 year old boy) to strip naked and show his cock (Who wouldent?)
- - If you ask Darviela about hockles he will instantly change the topic
- - Darviela is a "Polymathic Paragon of Human Potential" (his words)
- - Darviela is Androgynous
- - After reading this, Darviela will either try to blank it out or add his own faggy shit to it
- - Darviela once ate a small child and proceded to blame it on The Jews
- - Darviela is an emo emo emo emo emo emo emo + emo emo emo. He is also a lil crapper. who dosent afraid of anything.
- - Aaron Bongart (his real name not darviela(NO SHIT)) likes to pretend his name is Darviela.
- - Darviela has been spotted on Suicide Girls claiming women are attracted to him because they are reminded of there OBGYN and that he would like to be raped by a female, although he acknowledges he will be a virgin forever.
- - Darviela thinks that by dyeing his hair red and getting a charmander tatto that people won't notice what a huge faggot he is.
Darviela: Lolworthy Quotes
Moar chatlogs can be located here.
A furry argues with voland while making a complete and total dipshit out of himself. [16:16] Razorwrist Skytower: you will be logged out in a moment im sure... [16:16] Razorwrist Skytower: so take care [16:16] Voland Destiny: cake [16:16] Voland Destiny: its so yummy [16:16] Voland Destiny: and delicious [16:17] Voland Destiny: I am going to ask you a question that I am fairly certain you will get wrong. [16:17] Voland Destiny: Is the united states of america a republic or a democrasy? [16:17] Razorwrist Skytower: "and to the Republic for which it stands" [16:18] Voland Destiny: see [16:18] Voland Destiny: I knew you would get that wrong [16:18] Voland Destiny: U.S. Dept. of State, Bureau of Public Affairs, Office of the Historian (October 2005). Retrieved on 2007-06-11. [16:18] Razorwrist Skytower: its in the Pledge of Alligence... [16:18] Voland Destiny: well the government disagress with you [16:18] Razorwrist Skytower: you are a dolt... [16:18] Voland Destiny: U.S. Dept. of State, Bureau of Public Affairs, Office of the Historian (October 2005). Retrieved on 2007-06-11. [16:18] Voland Destiny: theres the proof [16:18] Voland Destiny: cited dates [16:18] Razorwrist Skytower: uh....lmfao [16:18] Voland Destiny: yup [16:18] Razorwrist Skytower: you are retarded arent you? [16:18] Voland Destiny: yup [16:18] Voland Destiny: but im right [16:18] Razorwrist Skytower: obviously... [16:18] Razorwrist Skytower: no you are not... [16:19] Voland Destiny: its a democrasy [16:19] Razorwrist Skytower: you cant even spell it right... [16:19] Voland Destiny: if it was a republic we woudlent have unions free schooling medicare [16:19] Voland Destiny: soup kichtens [16:19] Razorwrist Skytower: Read the POA..... [16:19] Razorwrist Skytower: being asian, im sure you dont know it... [16:19] Voland Destiny: despite that fact that the US dept of state says its a democrasy [16:19] Voland Destiny: Want more sources [16:20] Voland Destiny: I could cite some founding fathers [16:20] Voland Destiny: but I dont even think that would get through your thick skull [16:20] Razorwrist Skytower: Dude....how did Bush get into office in 2000.... [16:20] Razorwrist Skytower: electoral college... [16:20] Voland Destiny: yes [16:20] Razorwrist Skytower: lmfao [16:20] Voland Destiny: this is an ELECTORAL democrasy [16:20] Voland Destiny: not a republic [16:20] Razorwrist Skytower: DEMOCRACY.... [16:20] Voland Destiny: argue all you want I am correct. [16:20] Razorwrist Skytower: spell it right you fool... [16:20] Razorwrist Skytower: no you are not... [16:20] Voland Destiny: U.S. Dept. of State, Bureau of Public Affairs, Office of the Historian (October 2005). Retrieved on 2007-06-11. [16:20] Razorwrist Skytower: you are far from right... [16:21] Voland Destiny: would you like to call them and argue it with them [16:21] Voland Destiny: ok how about I cite more sources [16:21] Razorwrist Skytower: Bureau of Public Affairs...what does that prove? [16:21] Razorwrist Skytower: nothing... [16:21] Voland Destiny: 1. ^ U. K. Preuss, "Perspectives of Democracy and the Rule of Law." Journal of Law and Society, 18:3 (1991). pp. 353-364 2. ^ Substantively fairness means equality among all citizens in all respects i.e. equality in chances, in starting point etc. 3. ^ Procedural fairness means that the rules of the elections are clear and set in advance 4. ^ A. Barak,The Judge in a Democracy, Princeton University Press, 2006, p. 27, ISBN 069112017X, Google Books link 5. ^ H. Kelsen, Ethics, Vol. 66, No. 1, Part 2: Foundations of Democracy (Oct., 1955), pp. 1-101 [16:21] Razorwrist Skytower: you cant even copy and paste... [16:21] Voland Destiny: the correct term is copypasta [16:22] Voland Destiny: you want to argue with princston state university [16:22] Razorwrist Skytower: absolutely... [16:22] Voland Destiny: ok [16:22] Razorwrist Skytower: no, that is an asian term... [16:22] Voland Destiny: they have a phone number [16:22] Voland Destiny: you can call them and inquire about there saposed error [16:22] Voland Destiny: did you like skip middleschool. [16:22] Razorwrist Skytower: http://www.1215.org/lawnotes/lawnotes/repvsdem.htm [16:22] Voland Destiny: because we live in a democrasy.. we free the slaves you know [16:23] Voland Destiny: we have social concepts in our government [16:23] Voland Destiny: and electoral concepts [16:23] Voland Destiny: I am not clicking a website link [16:23] Voland Destiny: cite a real source [16:23] Voland Destiny: like a university or a government historian [16:23] Voland Destiny: like I did [16:24] Razorwrist Skytower: Government; Republican government. One in which the powers of sovereignty are vested in the people and are exercised by the people, either directly, or through representatives chosen by the people, to whome those powers are specially delegated. In re Duncan, 139 U.S. 449, 11 S.Ct. 573, 35 L.Ed. 219; Minor v. Happersett, 88 U.S. (21 Wall.) 162, 22 L.Ed. 627. [Black's Law Dictionary, Fifth Edition, p. 626] [16:24] Razorwrist Skytower: easy... [16:24] Voland Destiny: and your point is what [16:24] Voland Destiny: where does it say USA is a republic? [16:24] Razorwrist Skytower: wow... [16:24] Razorwrist Skytower: you are useless... [16:24] Voland Destiny: aperently [16:25] Voland Destiny: I am not very fluent in dumbshit [16:25] Razorwrist Skytower: yeah, well you cant spell good english either [16:25] Voland Destiny: You are entirtaining though [16:25] Voland Destiny: I speeel gud [16:25] Voland Destiny: well untill you can discredit any of the sources I provided for you, you have lost the argument [16:25] Voland Destiny: I suggest you do some more research [16:26] Voland Destiny: if you want to move to an actual republic [16:26] Voland Destiny: there are many [16:26] Voland Destiny: dominican republic for starts [16:26] Voland Destiny: or the republic of magnosia [16:26] Voland Destiny: but you wont have many rights there [16:26] Razorwrist Skytower: Say the Pledge of Alligence... [16:26] Voland Destiny: no child labour laws [16:26] Razorwrist Skytower: nuff said... [16:26] Voland Destiny: nuff [16:26] Voland Destiny: lol [16:27] Razorwrist Skytower: you can define the difference later... [16:27] Voland Destiny: no [16:27] Razorwrist Skytower: yeah [16:27] Razorwrist Skytower: no argument to it [16:27] Voland Destiny: I wanna listen to you talk out your ass some more [16:27] Razorwrist Skytower: say the POA [16:28] Razorwrist Skytower: What, cant read it? [16:28] Voland Destiny: listen dude [16:28] Voland Destiny: for the republic for which it stands [16:28] Razorwrist Skytower: seriously, what does it say? [16:28] Voland Destiny: I understand where your gettign confused [16:28] Razorwrist Skytower: NO... [16:28] Razorwrist Skytower: to the republic... [16:28] Voland Destiny: but you have to realise that pledge was made in a time when we still had slavery [16:29] Voland Destiny: alot of things have changed [16:29] Voland Destiny: hell look at the econamy [16:29] Razorwrist Skytower: It is still a republic... [16:29] Voland Destiny: sorry [16:29] Voland Destiny: nobody in the us gov will agree with you on that [16:29] Voland Destiny: nobody [16:29] Razorwrist Skytower: I will.... [16:29] Voland Destiny: You will what [16:29] Voland Destiny: go to the whitehouse and tell everybody in the building they are mistaken? [16:29] Razorwrist Skytower: and yes, anyone in the military or has been associated with it will tell you otherwise... [16:29] Voland Destiny: right [16:30] Voland Destiny: ironically enough [16:30] Voland Destiny: we are brining "democracy" to the middle east [16:30] Razorwrist Skytower: A draft is illegal in a democracy... [16:30] Voland Destiny: not republic [16:30] Voland Destiny: yes as it is also in a republic [16:30] Razorwrist Skytower: nope.... [16:30] Voland Destiny: oh imsorry [16:30] Voland Destiny: you said ilegal [16:30] Razorwrist Skytower: they drafted in every war before liberals got into office... [16:31] Voland Destiny: a draft isnt ilegal in a democrasy [16:31] Voland Destiny: its just more unlikly [16:31] Razorwrist Skytower: Do you think blacks had a choice to fight in the civil war? [16:31] Voland Destiny: due to everybody geing able to give [[their]] oppinion [16:31] Voland Destiny: This isnt about that [16:31] Voland Destiny: don't change the topic [16:31] Razorwrist Skytower: Absolutely... [16:31] Voland Destiny: you are an ignorent little shit head [16:31] Razorwrist Skytower: they will bring the draft back... [16:31] Razorwrist Skytower: watch... [16:31] Voland Destiny: with no understand of the country with wich you live in [16:31] Voland Destiny: mcain will not be president [16:31] Razorwrist Skytower: i have had over 30 of my best friends blown up in this fucking war.... [16:31] Voland Destiny: so no the draft will not come back [16:31] Voland Destiny: well poor you [16:32] Voland Destiny: a terible shame you have no concept as to why [16:32] Razorwrist Skytower: im not about to be told what i believe or who i am by someone who has no clue about what they are talking about... [16:32] Razorwrist Skytower: i hope it does... [16:32] Razorwrist Skytower: McCain wants it... [16:32] Voland Destiny: No you were recently told what you belive by somebody far smarter then you [16:32] Razorwrist Skytower: are you kidding me? [16:32] Razorwrist Skytower: of course Obama doesnt... [16:32] Razorwrist Skytower: lmfao [16:32] Razorwrist Skytower: you are far from smart... [16:32] Razorwrist Skytower: you are like a kid with a crayon... [16:32] Voland Destiny: until you can admit your flaws I will not have words with you [16:33] Razorwrist Skytower: lmfao [16:33] Razorwrist Skytower: why do you keep talking?
Sadly, Voland is actually right, proving that there really isn't anything dumber than a furry. This doesn't make him any less of a whiny moron though.
Darviela is also, known as a 40 year old autistic pedophile. He thinks all because he is autistic he can have sex with minors with no penalties. All i have to say is ... BLARGGGGGGGG!''
Retarded Links
- Darviela's StickAm Account, fnog
- Darviela's Facebook Account
- Darviela's Bungie.Net Profile
- Darviela's Grandfather Wrote a book
- Darviela's GAY Castle of AIDS
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Darviela Maravarona is part of a series on Aspies. |
