Dead babies
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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dead_babies is a LiveJournal community dedicated to fucking hilarious humor. Found here, you'll often encounter photos of abortions, miscarriages, and deformed children, as well as various gruesome accidents and images such as the pain series. It was created and is moderated by shared_boxers, of Marriage is love fame.
Some (such as Crazayjillay) disapprove of humor that isn't watered down and sitcom-friendly and want dead_babies shut down. This was a futile effort and dead_babies exists to this day.
Others(such as Inheritrix) fap to this kind of shit.
You can use dead babies for lulz and drama in various Pro-Life communities. You can find support in Childfree. They can also be recycled.
Also Baby Fucking is always alright, especially if they are dead.
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[edit] Dead Babies and Something Awful
In 1984, Something Awful featured a website dedicated to a mother's miscarriages as an Awful Link of the Day. This led to hundreds of angry emails about it, and after attempting to reason with the angry would-be mothers, the authors wrote up a feature highlighting the craziest replies. This led to the phrase, "Your poison womb is making heaven too fucking crowded", which, while quite funny on its own, literally rewrites the comedy books in context: viewable here.
[edit] Examples of Dead Baby Jokes
The pinnacle of high brow humor, dead baby jokes are appropriate at charity events, dinner parties, bar mitzvahs, weddings, circumcisions, and perhaps most appropriately, funerals for dead babies.
Q: What is red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A: baby in a microwave.
Q: How long does it take to kill a baby in a microwave?
A: How the fuck should I know? I was too busy masturbating.
Q: How do you get 1000 babies in a phone booth?
A: Liquify them in a blender.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Nachos.
Q: What is red and creeping up your legs?
A: A homesick abortion!
Q: What's funnier than a dead baby?
A: Juliana Wetmore
Q: What is this vessel that I'm putting your baby into?
A: A blender
Q: What should you do when your baby is stuck in a blender?
A: Use a straw.
Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
A: You can't unload bowling balls with a pitch fork
Q: How long does it take to paint a room with dead babies?
A: Depends how hard you throw em.
Q: What is funnier than a dead baby?
A: A dead baby next to a kid with down syndrome
Q: What's the difference between babies and grannies?
A: Grannies don't die when you fuck them in the ass.
Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a porsche?
A: I don't have a porsche in my garage.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple?
A: I don't cum all over an apple before I eat it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You can't fuck a table.
Q: What's funnier than a dead baby?
A: A dead baby in a clown suit!
Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: A pile of 100 dead babies.
Q: What's even grosser than that?
A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat it's way out.
Q: What's even grosser than that?
A: When it goes back for seconds.
Q: What do you get when you mix a dead baby,and a pint of cum?
A: LUNCH!
Q: Why do they boil water when a woman is giving birth?
A: If it's born dead they can make soup.
Q: Why shouldn't you slit open a baby's throat?
A: You might cut your dick.
New mother: Doctor, doctor, is my baby alright?
Doctor: I have some good news, and I have some bad news.
New mother: Tell me the bad news first.
Doctor: The bad news is, it's a ginger.
New mother: Oh my God, no!
Doctor: Calm down, miss. The good news is, it's dead.
Q: What's the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
A: Dead baby doesn't stick to the roof of your mouth.
Q: What goes plop, plop, fizz, fizz?
A: Twins in an acid bath
"You've got to see what your baby is doing!" shouted the doctor as he burst out of the delivery room and into the waiting room. "What?!" yelled the child's father as he leapt to his feet. "He's literally FLYING around the delivery room! Here, I'll show you!" replied the doctor as he shot back into the delivery room. A few seconds later, he emerged with the baby in his arms. "Watch!" he shouted and tossed the baby into the air. The baby landed on the tile with a thud. "What the Hell?!" the guy started to shout, but the doctor interrupted with, "No, wait, watch this!" and he scooped the baby up and threw him harder. WHAM! The baby bounced off the wall and plopped to the floor, again. "Oh, my God!" shouted the man, and started to grab at the doctor. "No! He was doing it earlier," protested the doctor, "Watch this!" He again scooped the baby up, flung open the waiting room window and hurled the baby four stories down where it splattered onto the sidewalk. Enraged, the man clutched at the doctor's throat and pinned him against the wall. "WHAT IN THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO MY BABY!?" He screamed. "Relax," laughed the doctor, "It was a stillborn."
[edit] Famous Dead Babies
- Suri Cruise
- Baby Grace
- Juliana Wetmore
- Lake Angel
- Madeleine McCann
- Marilyn Manson
- Pillow Angel
- Terri Schiavo
- Anabelle Lotus
[edit] Links
- dead_babies - dead baby jokes
- Dead Babies: More fun than mouth rape!
- kewl pix
- ThisIsACryForHelp - Dead Baby Dressup Flash series
- Banned from YouTube! - Dead Baby video! (with introduction)
