Delaware State University Shooting

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The first of America's 55 states

The crime scene

Typical Delaware scene

Carlos Holmes was the "Alcalde," or Mayor, of Cali, Colombia, during the cocaine cartel boom years of the late '80s.

(09-21) 06:47 PDT Dover, Del. (AP) --

Two students were shot and wounded, one died a month later, at the Delaware State University Shooting (DeSU) early last Friday, and the campus continues to be locked down as police search desperately for a gunman, officials said. Classes were canceled and students were able to leave their dorms later that day to get more malt liquor and KFC.

"They done been said to stay in theys' rooms," university spokesman Carlos Holmes said. "We still dun know where them shooter's be at," he continued.

Delaware State was established in 1891 as the State College for Colored Students. It had about 3,690 students last year. The 400-acre campus is in the northern section of Dover, across the street from the racetrack.

[edit] What is Delaware?

A glorified rest stop on the I-95 freeway, Delaware is a tiny, flat, shitty, polluted state on the US East Coast that nobody cares about. Although its official state slogan emphasizes its one claim to fame of being the "First US State" (as its state delegates accidentally happened to be the first ones to sign the Constitution in 1820 while everyone else was still enjoying their tea and crumpets), it's better known as the place where negroes stop for KFC on their way to sell Florida cocaine in New York.

Also of note is that Delaware State's URL is desu.edu. Lulz.

Anthropologists in other states refer to DeSU as "Little Africa" due to the wide variety of negro breeds and sub-types seen there.

[edit] People

Half of the state is filled with rednecks and other white trash, while the other half is populated by colored types. The primary function of DeSU is to instruct its students in basic reading skills and some elementary principles of arithmetic. It's important to note that Deleware is three halves in a two-half state! It's fairly amazing.