Desuchan
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| |
| Foundation | Early 2007 |
| Founded by | Dark Master Schmidt |
| Major Boards | /desu/, /ro/, /ot/, /rp/, /touhou/, /loli/, /o/, /tr/ |
| Website | desuchan.net |
| Cur. Status | Alive |
| IRC | irc.irchighway.net#desuchan |
Desuchan is the place where thousands upon thousands of Desufaggots go for all of their Rozen Maiden needs. This website was made by a weeaboo pedo named Dark Master Schmidt and has since been inhabited by fans of the anime as well as many other people ranging from dramafags to touhoufags and the occasional /b/tard troll. The said imageboard contains boards dedicated to the dolls, as well as a general Rozen Maiden board, containing nothing but pure pictures of Dolljoints. It also has numerous other boards, such as /loli/, /rp/, /touhou/, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum.
Desuchan has been around longer than The Internet and was created by Al Gore as a government investigation to determine how to make people whiney faggots. The investigation determined that if a large amount of touhoufags and rpfags are held on the same board for an indefinite amount of time, everyone, even the neutralfags, will end up being a pissy bitch. Nowadays, Desuchan spends most of its time getting brought down by DDoS against its shitty server; when this happens, Bokuchan serves as a temporary refuge. Some random weeaboos from Desuchan got bored of waiting for the site to come back up and decided to reincarnate the zombified DesuRadio, as well.
Contents |
[edit] Codex Desuchannus
[edit] Book of Internets
1:1 In the beginning there was Al Gore, and Al Gore was a faggot.
1:2 And Al Gore stretched forth his hand and created the internets from the Void, and it was good.
1:3 And Al Gore created the imageboards, and the m00t, and the Snacks, and the DMS. And many others besides, and it was kind of gay, because there were no girls, but it was still good.
1:4 And on the 9001st day, Al Gore decreed to DMS that he should go forth and create in the image of 4chan a board dedicated to dollfags. And so DMS went forth.
2:1 And DMS put forth his power, and summoned from the Void a den of dolljoints and wickedness the likes of which the Internets had never known. And there was a great cry on /a/.
2:2 And the /a/ssholes cried unto the Rozen Maiden fans, "Get thyselves away from here! We care not for your dollfaggotry! Every thread is not a Desu thread!"
2:3 And so began the Great Exodus, and many dollfags did perish on the long journey to the Promised Land of DMS, and there was a great movement from /a/, and /a/ did suck slightly more than it used to, but not too much because the relative suck of /a/ was already so high that simply removing one thing couldn't make it suck a lot more.
[edit] Book of Desu
1:1 Desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu.
1:2 Desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu.
1:3 Desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu.
1:4 Desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu.
1:5 Desu desu desu desu desu nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp nsəp.
(and so on, for several thousand chapters)
[edit] Book of Boku
1:1 Desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu.
1:2 Server's down, gb/2/Bokuchan.
1:3 Boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku boku.
[edit] Notable Boards
Expand this section (below) for a complete board listing.
- /desu/ - Home to the main focus of the board, /desu/ contains lots and lots of desu faggotry. Many people have contributed by posting hundreds upon hundreds of desu pictures and shoops just to make themselves satisfied. However, what makes this board pretty much lame is the fact that IT NEEDS MOAR DESU. To troll /desu/, just use Gaston, or Jissou. It's super effective.
- /ot/ - This board is similar in function to 4chan's /b/, only this time, it was home to dramafags after their exodus from 4chan (until the creation of /rp/). Unlike /b/, this board lacks the usual content posted by /b/tards and is only considered as a second rate wanna-/b/.
- /ro/ - Dedicated to everything Rozen Maiden-related that doesn't fit into one of the individual Maiden boards.
- /rp/ - Dedicated to the RPfags, who occasionally create some lulz.
- /touhou/ - Dedicated to LULZ SHOOTAN GAMEZ. And lolis.
- /o/ - Home of Aphex and other drawfags. Home of IRC-tans.
- /loli/ - The reason OGD is b& from Desuchan.
- /tr/ - Where Megu goes to fap and pretend he's straight. Currently the most active board on Desuchan.
[edit] Complete board listing
| Maiden Boards | Rozen Maiden | Other | Inactive | |
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[edit] Memes
- DollFagNigra (DFN): Pops up, staring upwards, after any erotic picture of one of the Maidens (or the stray KFC bucket). A fantastic, model citizen.
- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: the President of Iran subjected to many shoops to fit popular sayings such as 'I'd Hit It' or 'Do Want'.
- Jointmongler: Cockmongler in doll form. Think Rozen Maiden combined with 4chan, only better. His hobbies include fapping to pictures of Desuchan's mods, grinning, and mongling dolljoints. He is made of plastic and from Tajikistan. Has recently been co-opted by the Dollmongler, a rival to DFN who mongles dolls rather than being a doll who mongles.
- Shirou: The use of a picture of Shirou sometimes combined with "I'm not following you" or "...You lost me." in response to an "I'd ___ her ____ if you know what I mean."
- Hamuleen: The true form of Halloween with pork and hammy goodness for all. Voting for Hamuleen costumes is
currently in progress for 2008Done! - Biggy: Forced meme involving Suigintou and a large bottle of Yakult (weird yogurty thing) with the Engrish marketing slogan "Biggy is mild and good taste" written on its label.
[edit] Frequent Users
Namefaggotry and Tripfaggotry are accepted practice on Desuchan. Overall, Desuchan's userbase is known to be friendly and helpful, and can be divided into the following groups:
- Dollfags: Rozen Maiden fans. Known for fapping to dolljoints.
- Touhoufags: People who like Touhou. Known for fapping to lolis.
- RPfags: People who like RP. Known for roleplaying. Fapping might be involved somewhere, though.
- e-dramafags: Daemons from the abyss; the natural enemy of anon, Desuchan's version of a furfag. Tend to hang out in IRC and whine about everything.
- C27: Name used by gurofags on Desuchan.
- Otherfags: Who cares?
[edit] Mods
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[edit] History
[edit] Desuchan's history at a glance
OH FUX DESUCHAN IS DEAD AGAIN LOL OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP OH SHIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH FUCK IT'S BACK UP WTF IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH HEY LOOK IT'S UP AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP OH SHIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP OH SHIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP OH SHIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP OH SHIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP OH SHIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP OH SHIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP OH SHIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP OH SHIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP OH SHIT IT'S DOWN AGAIN OH WAIT IT'S BACK UP ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck this shit
[edit] The early days
Desuchan began its life in January 2007 during The Great /a/ Exodus (see Book of Internets above), starting out as your run-of-the-mill faggoty *chan running Trevorchankusaba, with only a few boards: /ot/ (off-topic), /ro/ for Rozen Maiden, /desu/ for Desu, /junk/ for, well, SuigintouJunk, as well as /md/, /gif/, /o/ and /w/. In March, Desuchan switched from kusaba to Wakaba. Other boards sprang up as the userbase grew: by mid-June there were boards for each of the Maidens; in July /rp/ was created; and so on. By October 2007, Desuchan had grown into a thriving *chan with at least 25 boards, and all was well. ...or so it would seem. LOL FORESHADOWING
[edit] December 2007: R.I.P. DESUCHAN - /temp/
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the Hurricane Katrina of shitstorms, and the amounts of BAAAAWWWWW were astronomical. Early in December 2007, Desuchan's server had a breakdown. Nobody was really surprised, until somebody discovered that the breakdown was FATAL, as in, the b0x was fried. The admins, being the smart cookies they were, knew that they couldn't fully restart Desuchan until they got a new server, so they decided to create a temporary *chan with one temporary board until Desuchan could be fixed, which would be Real Soon Now[tm]. This was when the good people of Desuchan learned that they couldn't play well with each other, and set about trolling each other into oblivion. Dollfags, Touhoufags and RPfags raged against each other, all blaming each other for the site's death, as Real Soon Now[tm] slowly turned into Sometime After Christmas[tm]. It was a cold, lonely Christmas for Desuchanners.
The new Desuchan struggled back into existence, first reappearing in the early days of 2008. By this time, Photoshop Addict had gone ahead and created Bokuchan, which some users began to use as a home away from home while Desuchan got back on its feet. After disappearing and reappearing several times over the month of January, Desuchan finally seemed to stabilize in February. The era of /temp/ had drawn to its close.
[edit] March 24, 2008: New Manga Announcement
Desuchan waited. The server lights blinked and sparked out of the air. There was a new manga in the Young Jump. They didn't see it, but had expected it now for years. Desu was a chan for one year. When they were young they watched the Peach-pit end the manga and said to them "We want a new manga plz, oh and Season 3 too kthxbai" Peach-pit said "NO! YOU GET SHITTY LAPLACE ENDING" But now in the Young Jump magazine of Shueisha they knew there was a new manga. "This is DMS" the radio crackered. "You must sticky the new manga thread!" So Desuchan gotted his sitcky pin and stickied the thread. "WE CAME RAINBOWS" said the dollfags. And then Desuchan was active.
[edit] May 10, 2008: Desu Conquers /a/
In May 2008, crash was beginning. Many dollfags were left out in the cold, huddling together for strength. An unexpected consequence of this crash was the Conquest of 4chan's /a/ by Desu. On May 10th, Frustrated by the lack of progress in getting Desuchan's crippled server Chii back online, dolljoint-starved Desutards invaded /a/ en masse and began to post thread after thread of dolljoints. Inexplicably, no one on /a/ seemed to mind, as every thread went unsaged.
[edit] June 12, 2008: R.I.P. DESUCHAN II
After a particularly nasty crash, Desuchan's German sysadmins opened up the server room to be greeted by a billowing cloud of red and green smoke. The unthinkable had finally happened: Desuchan's hard drive had died. Efforts to revive it met with failure, and Desuchan was pronounced dead at 4:38 PM GMT, on June 12th, 2008. Apparently the shitfit happened when a power supply blew, destroying not only Desuchan but several other servers. Its contents would have to be wiped, and a clean reinstall would be needed. This time, instead of setting up a new /temp/ board, Desuchan mods directed everyone to Bokuchan, which was created during the last major outage. This saved everyone a lot of headaches. The server was restored on June 15th, and Wakaba was restored the next day with a minimal interface, whereupon dollfags shit their pants with joy, posting single-digit GETs with wild abandon.
[edit] Aftermath
As of July 12th, Desuchan had gone a month with no significant downtime, leading many to think the unthinkable: that Desuchan might indeed be fixed fo evah.
[edit] A reading from the Book of Desuchan
4:20 And lo, having led a faithful life in devotion to Rozen Maiden, yon dollfaggot perished in the Grace of Our Mother, and was sent down yon long tunnel of red and green, to wait at the Desu Gates. And lo, all game consoles were there, and the number of computer boxen was verily over nine thousand, and the speed of yon internets was verily high.
4:21 And verily, yon dollfaggot was bequeathed ye anime wench of his choice, and was ushered into ye Hall of Desu, where the mead did flow in great streams, and there was also caek, which was delicious. And yon music did stream from the Hall of Partying Hard, which was most excellent.
4:22 But yon dollfaggot heard the cry of the oppressed, whereupon he inquired of its source and was led to witness the victims of the B&hammer, they whose deeds have caused them to be subjected to the punishment of narutardation. This purgatory they suffer at length afore they be cleansed and ready to join Our Great Mother of Boatlights.
4:23 And yon dollfaggot, having refused the temptations of narutardation in his life, was made grateful, and did revel in his grace, and did do a barrel roll. Amen.
[edit] Bokuchan
| |
| Foundation | Late 2007 |
| Founded by | Photoshop Addict |
| Major Boards | /desu/, /rm/, /b/, /alice/, /a/, /touhou/, /story/ |
| Website | bokuchan.org |
| IRC | irc.irchighway.net#bokuchan |
Bokuchan is a sister site to Desuchan, created by Photoshop Addict after the great /temp/ shitstorm. Much like the latter site is named after Desu, Bokuchan is named after Desu's reverse trap sister, Boku. Much like Boku, Bokuchan is the quiet, unassuming, stable type, as opposed to Desuchan, who, much like Desu, is hot-tempered, unwieldy, and prone to blowouts. Also like Boku, Bokuchan is the less popular of the sisters, which explains why there's NEVER ANY FUCKING POSTS. The main purpose of Bokuchan nowadays is to serve as a backup chan when Desuchan goes down (see History, above); as such, Bokuchan gets most of its traffic when Desuchan is down, and is rather empty the rest of the time.
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Links
- Desu chan desu~
- Boku chan desu~
- Desuchan t-shirts WHAT THE FUCK
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