Cock
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
![European penises still resemble the human cousin, the ape [1], there is mold growing under there BTW...](/Image:European_penis.jpg)
A cock is what boys have between their legs and what your mom loves sliding up her cooch - unless your mother is Ann Coulter, in which case you should really just kill yourself now. Some people give their cock a name. If yours doesn’t have a name yet, there’s a handy tool that will name it for you right here. Some argue that this is done to misplace responsibility for your cock's inadequacy, but they're just jealous, amirite?
Cocks spew many things, including, but not limited to: anti-lulz, jenkem, and semen. Jews do not believe in cocks. Sometimes, the cock will spew piss (or in the case of your mum, shit) in the middle of the night, consider becoming Diaper dude V2 Wanna to enlarge your cock or get rid of impotence or erectile dysfunction forever? I came across The Iron Crotch and Penis Enlarging Qigonglast year, which helped me a lot, though I had to practice the Shaolin Kidney-strenghening strengthening Qigong, in order to be 'robust' to practice the Iron Penis. I finally strengthen my Penis, at least he morning erection happens every day.
[edit] News For Women
It is a genetic necessity for a woman to put a guy's cock wherever he wants it to go and like it. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE!
All women are attention needing whores with the idea in their head that they need to be 16 year old girls, therefore loving COCK.
[edit] Where to Put Cock
- in the ass
- in the mouth
- in a condom (archaic)
- between your breasts
- In the ear.
- In the Richard Hall
- In the eye.
- In neighbor
- In your mum
- Your tearducts
- Your dad's ass
- Any bodily opening, including a papercut
- Dan Merlau
- In her pooper
- everywhere
[edit] Where NOT to put Cock
- Furries
- Snapesnogger
- Aids filled pools
- Diabeetus filled pools
- CandleJack OH SHI
- Chin-chan
- Goatse
- Fags
- Blender
- Girlvinyl's vagina, EVAR!
[edit] List of People who Love Cock
Many people have been known to love the cock. Here are just a few of the many people that love the cock.
- Michael Jackson (Has to be small and hairless)
- Tom Cruise (TCLTC)
- El Pons (Watermelonz in teh headz)
- Raymond (sliced in four equally sized pieces)
- El Larry (Carihuela dairy queen)
- Steven The Pedo (Peter Cockmaster Fanboy)
- El Licudi
- jameth
- scarlet
- girlvinyl
- John Travolta
- toresbe
- Heath Ledger
- Klarawagner
- hepkitten
- eri-sama
- fennec
- sdf
- forunlawfulck (to be fair she only admitted to liking the cock)
- iconoclast (he likes the pole and the hole, the dirty faggot)
- All Nazi mystics
- Your mom
- chix0r loves both cut and uncut cock [2].
- Hoveround
- NeoLobster
- tfo
- Liberals (please note this only true of the men all the women are dykes)
- Howler
- Furries (Only if you consider them "people".)
- Larry Craig
- You
- Xenu (He was gay for Hubbard)
- Joshua Stokes
- Josh Ledo (see link: Phantasy Star Universe)
- 16 year old jews NOTE: They don't really love teh cock, it's a trap
LTC, an acronym for “Loves The Cock”, is commonly used to refer to people who love the cock.
[edit] Penis Size and Enlargement
- Penis Size
The truth about penis size is plain and simple: you are the only person that cares about the size of your cock! Sexually speaking, most women could care less about the size of their man's penis; they’re moar interested in what the man does to make their vaginas feel good and money, without it, you wont get a woman and your fucked for life. If you’re gay, your male partner is probably moar interested in finding antique Cher paraphernalia on eBay than the size of your piece of pork. Right. Every gay man fantasizes about having the biggest cock possible in their mouth and up their ass. You, in fact, need to worry if you're cock is to small if you happen to be gay. Not only that, but if you have a small cock, and are getting up there in years....like over 24....and are fat you're basically fucked for ever finding a partner ever. You might as well start suckin' dicks for money in bathrooms because you aren't getting any.
To enlarge the penis size becomes the must of many men, and there are countless ways to make it, most of which are by taking tablets. They rush to the medicine store, regardless of the fact that this organ also needs certain exercise to strengthen itself. That's why the Iron Crotch are so popular these years. However, as the penis is one of the most sensitive organs in human body, most people still shy away from any penis exercise, and meanwhile, they rack their brains to train other bodily parts every day, but they don't know that training other parts is just training the parts, training the penis trains all.
- MICROPENIS!!!
A bacterial infection which devours cock muscle, leaving your member miniature and permanently outside of all vaginae. To determine if you suffer from Micropenis, start by whipping out your wife-pipe. Grab the longest pubic hair you have and pull it straight. If it is longer than your member, you're fucked!
1 in 6 people on average suffer from Micropenis. Lulz.
- Penis Enlargement
Many young guys even feel shy of talking before their pals due the small size of the cock,and it pays for them to know only exercise instead of taking medicine can make up it. The penis Qigongis just one of the best magical cures,though most guys dare not to practice it. I bet you've read hundreds of ads on cock enlargement. Every single advertisement that guarantees to increase the size of your cock is the truth! If you were smart enough to buy a product that promised to increase your penis size, then you already know this fact. If you’re considering buying any kind of product to make your cock bigger, do it because it’s very worthwhile. So, don’t put any penis enlarging pills, creams, lotions, devices, or machines on your Christmas or Hanukah list, BUY THEM NOW!. If you want a more home made solution to small penis size you can always go the way of certain Indian Tantrics who need to enlarge the cock for spiritual purposes. Get two small pieces of board, and hire some compassionate soul or get a good friend to gradually squish your cock between the boards. And pull a little. Over time your cock will become permanently lengthened. Unfortunately, you will no longer be able to get erect and your cock will resemble a long fat pancake. But. You’ll just be setting yourself up for dick enlargement. Bonus points if you make a SFW video of how to do it and post it on YouTube. If you’re still thinking of buying one of those schlong great ideas, then study the lessons from The Anti-PenisPropaganda Foundation for Non-Profit Penis Size Information
[edit] Synonyms for Cock
Anaconda, bell-end, blue-veined junket pumper, boner, chode, cunt wrecker, David Hasselhoff, dick, dipstick, doughnut holder, harbl, hard on, hot dog, John Thomas, knob, dong, lady-pleaser, love stick, love muscle, Lil' Jimmy Norton, firm worm, front-mounted bitch splitter, little army man, meat, meat whistle, mushroom tip, my lunch, nob, ol’ one-eye, one-eyed trouser snake, one-eyed wonder weasel, Penis, pecker, pee-pee, penor, Phallus, piece of pork, pink oboe, pork sword, prick, purple-headed trouser snake, purple-headed womb ferret, pussy plunger, python of love, rod, salty dog, skin flute, your mom, schlong, shaft, spunk stick, stiffy, throbber, third leg, throbbing gristle, throbbing trouser trout, yogurt slinger, pirate of men’s pants, wang, wee-wee, wiener, willy, woody. Thing you will never use.
[edit] Cock Envy
How to Enlarge Penis Size in Different Ways
 Fucking animals usually precedes unwarranted self importance. |
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 This chart prooves that asians have small penises.Not at all shoopd. |
Numerous porn addicts can often feel jealous about the ridiculously large size of a male model’s penis. This view however is founded on false beliefs, as in reality the addicts penis has usually been photoshopped to look smaller than it actually is.
[edit] Sigurdur Hjartarson Wants Your Cock
Sigurdur Hjartarson LOVES the cock. He has over 9000 different cocks from 90 different animal species. He runs the Icelandic Phallological Museum. It wasn't a museum originally, he just had a house full of cocks. One day, however, he left the door unlocked, a bunch of lost tourists wandered in and he had to think of an explanation quickly or go to prison.
Hjartarson's dream is to have a human specimen. Heartbreakingly his Icelandic donor has just pulled out (so to speak) after realising at age 97 that nobody wanted to look at his shrivelled diabeetus womb broom. Four more hopefuls have come forward to give this kindly old gent his last wish of delicious cock; a nazi, Sportacus, a britfag and an American who calls his cock "Elmo."
Fucking ELMO.
Can Anonymous do better? Click here and donate your penis NOW!
[edit] Famous Cocks
[edit] Cock Convenience Video
[edit] moar cock vid
[edit] "Penis Power"
Alexyss K Tylor speaks about the life changing power of positive & negative Penis Power.
[edit] All Artfags and TARTlets like cocks
[edit] Not To Be Confused With
- Wang, which is not a cock, but a high protein meal that’s as fun to play with as it is to eat!
[edit] External Cock Links
- Penis2.mp3 radio ad According to the New Zealand AIDS foundation, there is a National Penis day,
- Penis1.mp3 radio ad...But it kind of seems like it might be every thursday according to this radio ad.
- Documentary of Penis Pictures — a massive archive of free penis pictures and surveys that tries to be serious, but ended up being a big collection of funny looking cocks.
- MONSTERSOFCOCK — another fine place to see cock, featuring a FAQ so fine it deserves reproduction:
- WHY DID YOU MAKE THIS WEBSITE?
- We wanted to do a site of guys with normal sized penises, and girls with tiny vaginas...we were going to call it “you will feel like you are a MONSTER OF COCK”...but the name was too long.
[edit] Admit it! You fap to cocks!
 Happycock is happy! |
 But Angrycock is angry. |
 =P |
 Sadcock is sho ronery ;_; |
 Deadcock is dead. |
 YO,HO,YO,HO A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME! |
 EAGLECOCK WILL FLY UP YOUR BUTT! |
 some cocks like to eat olives. |
 Pokefags like cocks. |
 Two heads are always better than one,amirite? |
 b likes cocks. |
 The cock in its proper place. |
 Natures raep tool |
 The Comcast challenge. |
 Five cocks would make any nigger jealous. |
 Man clit. |
 Normal and raep mode. |
 HO SHI- |
 That's not funny. |
 Your cock. |
 Sometimes they just pop up out of nowhere. |
 NOM NOM NOM NOM |
 Say it! |
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 Mario's cock. |
 Spiderman has a VERY SMALL cock. |
 lol photography. |
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 Quite possibly the only normal cock on æ |
 Women love the caulk |
 Some people are born with cocks on their arms. |
 In Thailand, Cock is a major ingredient in fish sauce. |
 LOL! |
 Whoa! |
 Never look an Afghan girl in the eyes. |
 Why you shouldn't go swimming in australia,ever. |
 Be quiet or Brock will steal your PENIS. |
 When your cock goes into the wrong hands. |
 Mario like cocks. |
[edit] See Also
- HappyCock
- Foreskin
- Vasectomy
- Castration
- Bonertron
- Dildo
- Dick Cheney
- Iron penis
- PENIS PENIS PENIS
- Edward Penishands
- Cockboat
- Dongcopter
- Dick Masterson
- Mudshark
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Cock is a part of a series on Foods. | ||||||||
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