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Digimon

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The invention of digimon
The invention of digimon
Look, they're touching! IT MUST BE LOVE!!
Look, they're touching! IT MUST BE LOVE!!

Digimon was created by AZN pirates flooding the oriental toy market with an affordable Tamagotchi rip-off (which is illegal because it doesn't have enough Chinese lead in it). After going on a bender they used their monies to fund Digimon themed mangas, animes, videogames, toys, cards and other assorted crap that lost them all their money. After Digimon Tamers they went bankrupt and shut up shop for good. The Digimon anime series is continued to this day though by the Digimon Fandom (or "DigiFans"). "Digifans" compulsively add the prefix "digi" or the suffix "mon" to every noun and verb in their miniscule vocabulary. In france, everyone has his own digimon.

Contents

[edit] The Anime

[edit] Series 1: Digimon Adventure

Angstmon is totally afraid of his own Angst.
Angstmon is totally afraid of his own Angst.
Come on, there's nothing wrong in this picture!
Come on, there's nothing wrong in this picture!

Digimon Adventure stars over 9000 main characters, each more emo than the last. The main premise of the series is monsters fucking each other while the starring human of that episode cries about how their parents almost raped them. Each episode is about a main characters pointless backstory until they run out of main characters, then they split up the characters or rejoin them or defeat one of the super evil badguys (over 9000 of them too) and then back to revolving through each character crying about masturbating to his little sister.

This series was a favorite for pedos who fell in love with Kari. Also a favorite among deviants are the pink cowboy girl and the delusion that two of the main characters have a totally gay thing for each other. I myself have never watched the show, nor do I know anything about it (as you can see by my statement calling Matt and Tai the two main characters), which gives me plenty of license to write an article on it. Also, I suck cocks.

[edit] Series 2: Digimon Adventure 02

02 (pronounced "zero two" by jackoffs) is about another group of kids doing the exact same shit as the kids in Adventure except they get to go home from the digital world whenever they want. This series also retains the characters from the previous series who are now older. The older characters no longer exhibit preteen angst but instead teen angst. The pink cowboy girl inexplicably turned into a pink Euro-raver, then into a 70's cop show extra. All the pedo fans stopped watching Digimon after Kari became an old hag in this series, they were attempted to be replaced by gay-pedos but they didn't find Cody attractive.

[edit] Series 3: Digimon Tamers

The creation of a furry icon
The creation of a furry icon
The first (and only clean) image of a 300 page furry hentai.
The first (and only clean) image of a 300 page furry hentai.

The best series of Digimon and subsequently the one when everyone stopped watching because change and plotlines and character depth is SCARY. In this series, everyone's seriously fucked up. Not that baaaaaaaaw emo furry shit. Proper fucked up.

The story revolves around three kids who get Digimon to prevent them from going on murderous rampages. They proceed to go on murderous rampages. Half way through the series, the main character list explodes to like 20 or something as the writers scramble to gain back an audience dwindling down to only furries. The writers find that killing off characters with tearful goodbyes raises ratings, so they do it more often. Eventually, they kill off Leomon, super number-one gay furry icon. The furry audience immediately leaves in protest, and the show loses all audience.

At this point, the writers decide to just do whatever the fuck they want for the rest of the 30 episodes. So, they put in things like mental and emotional abuse from a puppet, fratricide, weird sexual metaphors, and child abuse. Lots and lots of child abuse. One of the girl characters literally spends the second half of the series being fucked over by her puppet. And did we mention the fifty foot purple phallus covered with little green mouths that likes to say "You will be deleted" in the voice of a little girl?

The story by Chiaki J. Konaka, also writer of Serial Experiments: Lain, is superb... So superb, that the only remnant of this series is Renamon being a furry icon.

[edit] Series 4: Disneymon Frontier

In this series the concept that made the previous three seasons watchable was done away with. Instead, a gaggle of stereotype characters are stuffed into living trains and have to save the digital world. The gimmick of this series being that the humans don't have digimon sidekicks, they simply turn into their fursona and do the fighting themselves. Made by furries for furries. Contrary to that fact, Frontier actually has the least amount of furry porn based around it, as painful, eye-bleedingly remorseless research has shown.

[edit] Series 5: Gidinom Savers

Essentially Digimon Tamers with all depth stripped away. The japanophiles are lapping it up. The plot involves youngsters working for the Digimon version of the Men in Black, complete with memory-erasing sticks. The average 13-year-old boy is, of course, the best candidate for such an important government security position. The humans and their Digimon partners team up to fight progressively harder foes, until they defeat God itself, just for the lulz. There are no plans to release the show in English... It has been announced this show is coming to Jetix. The following screenshots should explain why the show has fangirls. This series also has an intelligent, albeit bitchy, version of Misamisa from Deathnote, one that is actually useful, an internet survey states that 99.99% of viewers believe that Thomas should have put it in her, the other 0.01% wanted Gaomon to stick it in her.

[edit] Digimon: The Movie

Just like any anime that is popular in America, Digimon also got itself a movie. However, unlike the rest of the series, this is actually one of the best anime movies ever made. This is anime, though, so the bar of quality is set extremely low. The animation, voicing, scripting, humor, action, and conclusion is top-notch... at least, for the first two parts of the movie. After that, it just starts to suck penis and contract AIDS. Fox Kids decided two parts was just too short, three parts was just too long - but adding a horrifically mangled, chopped up and totally nonsensical 40 minutes at the end was awwwwwwright.

However, the real reason anyone reading this should watch it immediately is because the movie involves nuclear missles, computer hacking, crazy powers, nerdrage, and, finally, saving the Internet. Yes, /b/tards, your dreams have come true. We have finally found a good movie where the main plot involves our heros SAVING THE FUCKING INTERNET.

Also, no, I don't suck cocks. This movie is actually worth watching. Unbelievable, amirite?

[edit] The Mangas

Digimon has 4 manga series: V-Tamer about taming vageene, Digimon Next about a Digimon Soda factory, Digimon Chronicle a continuation of Digimon Next where the main character starts a Media Outlet for mass propagandaz, and finally D-Cyber about furry cybering. You wont be able to read any of these though as a search for any will undoubtedly lead you to gay or furry or gay-furry slash fiction.

[edit] The Games

There are 16 Digimon video games spanning every popular genre; from rpg to racing to fighting to adventure to H. All of them suck though. All of them.

Most of the RPG games have you traveling around a landscape very unlike Pokemon with your Digimon life partner and playing cards with people. I think it was poker, and you'd get your thumbs broken if you didn't pay up after losing a game.

[edit] Digimon vs Pokemon

Source of much drama between furry sub-groups. Pokefags say "Digimon is just a ripoff of Pokemon", Digifags say "nuh uhhh, Digimon was created first!", which may or may not be true. The truth of the matter is Pokemon is originally a ripoff of Monster Rancher and Digimon is originally a ripoff of Tamagotchi and both have anime series for the sole reason that all the Japanese do all day is make animes, games and porn of everything in existance. Not that anyone with a life really gives a shit. Though we all know that Yu-Gi-Oh is the real serious business. HOLY SHIT DIGIMON WAS RELEASED IN 1991 GUYZ. YES IT DID COME OUT FIRST!

[edit] DIGIMANS ARE REAL!!111!

Definitive proof that Digimon are real
Definitive proof that Digimon are real
An illustrated guide to opening a portal to the Digital World through masturbation.
An illustrated guide to opening a portal to the Digital World through masturbation.
The Real Digimon Believers are loosening the fabric of reality.
The Real Digimon Believers are loosening the fabric of reality.

Some people are such big fans of Digimon, and so very, very, lonely, that they pretend that they have their own imaginary Digimon companion, and are Digimon Tamers. You might not think it is so unusual for someone to have an imaginary friend they can pretend will breathe fire on all the bullies at school, as everyone has done this in the past. However, the group, Real Digimon Believers, takes it one step further. Instead of just buying a dog, they have deluded themselves into thinking that they have real Digimon pets, and, like a freaky cult, will try to convince all nonbelievers to share their delusions.

The Real Digimon Believers are seriously trying to find a connection to the Digital World where they will reunite with their long-lost Digimon companions. These plans, dubbed Project Digiclipse, the only completely logical and scientific way to reach the Digital World, involve toy Digivices, their parents' computers, plastic bags, and waiting for a passing comet.

What. The. Fuck.

[edit] Qu'est que c'est "Project Digiclipse"?

According to the Project Digiclipse website, "Project digiclipse is the combination of hope, belief, and the theories of members of all digimon [sic] believers. The point is, we believe that digimon [imaginary digital monsters featured in the program] exist, and we are determined to find a way to bring them to us. The way we attempt to do this, is simple, yet hopefully effective. We gather all the belivers [sic] that we can find, and focus on our goal at the exact same moment all around the world, hold our digivices to the sky, and the laws of mind over matter [sic] tell us that we can achieve our goal; a digital portal opening somewhere nearby."

That's right. These people believe that the universe and inhabitants from the TV cartoon series Digimon are physically real, and that a "portal" can be opened to this universe if a group of "believers" all hold up their toy Digivices [licensed products based upon the show] at the same time and wish really hard. As the website explains, "They [the Digivices] may be toys, but many of them are a symbolic or even spiritual connection to our partners, and act as a bridge between our world and the digital world by sheer love and belief. That's what this entire project was based on, the power of the mind, and our connections, if not just our belief. It's been proved throughout history that if you believe in something, it can happen... As long as you believe, something is bound to happen!" Yes, and for the Digiclipsian, that "something" could well be the arrival of burly mental health nurses, called upon by their terrified parents to drag them off for a two-month vacation at Camp Haldol.

However, lest we write of the believers in the Digiclipse as the modern-day version of the Millerites, the author of the project webpage sounds a note of realism amid the hope for a digital Rapture: "We can't tell you whether or not it will work," the website admits, "as it has not been attempted by anyone before. This is sort of a hopeful experiment, but even if a portal doesn't open, it will bring us all closer and hopefully weaken the barrier between the worlds." Sounds like a long shot. Besides, as Scotty of TV's Star Trek once said, "Any decent brand of Scotch'll do that, Sir."

[edit] Le potentiel pour les «lulz»

The website has a forum for believers, with typical topics such as "what will you do if when do you wake up see your partner???" and "Matter...and...Data? ...Just how can I become Data?" The lulz potential is high [approximately 720 milliJameth/kb as measured by lulzometer (1 Jameth = 1000 mJ = guaranteed corruption of lol)]. Any of the standard drama-generating techniques could be used to generate epic amounts of butthurt among the spastic retards that populate the message boards. Rule 34-based techniques should be especially effective, as most of the members seem to be at the (physical or mental) age where sex is the overt or covert motivator behind every obsession. It's a target-rich environment; try a shotgun approach and see what happens.

[edit] PROOF

The Real Digimon Believers can unequivocally prove that Digimon are indeed real through the use of poor photo manipulation and MS Paint.


 
 
We do lots of research sometimes, and usually come across things. Also, we have a few learning programmers in the group who seem to know a lot about Digimon and data and things. Sometimes we hear noises and see things, but we usually only associate them with Digimon when it has our toy Digivices involved. It maybe sound immature, but there's no saying that data can't travel through the air to the device(right?), or that invisible creatures aren't controlling it.
 

 

RulerHD - Leader of the Real Digimon Believers


 
 
Of course, it can be disputed, but the fact of the matter is, the existence of Digimon is plausable, and very much probable. Though it hasn't been proved, there are loyal fan bases out there that have evolved their belief into something more; a seperate community of "believers". Most will ban anyone who joins and lurks, or just to simply troll. There have been a lot of attempts made by the fakers to mislead the groups, though it is always obvious who is lying, and who is not. The leaders of such groups are skilled enough to tell a true believer from a troublemaker, so to save you time it isn't recommended for a "non-believer" to join.

These groups have proved that not only is Digimon an innocent childrens show, but it is the base of a thriving community, and has made many people friendsaround the world. Most aare children, and therefore do not have any kind of furry activity, or hentai imgages and it is definate that it will stay that way in the future.
 


 

RulerHD sockpuppet, a self-proclaimed member of THe RDB Revenge Squad.

 
 
i'm doing research. there's a 10th crest. the crest of darkness. its dangerous, but it can be purified. i'm still doing reasearch on the 10 crests though.
 

 

— josh, scientist for Project Digiclipse

 
 
Hmm.... my mom would probibly send me to a therepist... again... if I tried to tell her about Elecmon...
 

 

— Tashaka, Senior Member Priestess

 
 
ok im from the MSN Group RDB: Real Digimon Belivers and im trying to gather all the sites that belive into one. i have teamspeak that can be used to help communitcate, which is why i contacted you. i want you to help me contact the main leader/creators of each site and get them into team speak or into a place where we can settle into making one super beliver site! please anwser this message an let me know.


 


 

— DCYBER01, trying to collect cult members

Despite being so technologically savvy, these Digi-scientists fail to grasp that vandalism is pointless on ED, and have repeatedly tried to edit away this part of this page.

[edit] Digifag site owned

The original Digiclipse fourms got owned during an raid by the g00ns and anonymous. Srsly guyz, Digimon is not real.

The Digifags made a new forums site,

but it can only be seen by registered users. They are butthurt from the previous attack and therefore require new members to create an account and then fill in a survey to prove their intentions are not malicious. Clearly, there is not a single troll on the internet cunning enough to getting past such solid defenses, so now their crazy little forum is completely safe.

PROTIP: You merely need to register to see (and screenshot) the forums. The survey is only required for those interested in posting.

The digifag admins are known to browse various chans and even ED - don't do what the fag below did and ruin perfectly good lulz by telling everyone too early.

[edit] Reraided LOLWUT?

On July 1st 2008, they were rehit buy a troll calling himself DigiPwn. Slandering the site with racial slurs and incestual threads, the discovery was made even if the threads are deleted, the titles stay up to be seen. Disregard, cocks, etc.

Posting that discovery here led to that problem being fixed less than four hours later. Thanks ED, or more accurately, thanks User:Animorphs18, you've done the digifags a great favor ^_^.

[edit] Rating

  • Action: 0; they are bloodless cartoony beasts
  • Lulz: 3; series 3 committed a form of suicide by killing off a furry icon.
  • Furry Gayness: 21721; they are bloodless cartoony beasts.
  • Furry Straightness: ∞; Renamon(Along with Krystal) was responsible for creating this truly rare class of furry fandom.
  • Regular Gayness: 4; they managed to somehow keep some focus on the girls.

[edit] Gallery of Rule 34

[edit] See also

[edit] External Links

Image:pikajewsprite.gif Digimon is part of a series on Anime.

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