Dildo
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A Dildo is one of Man's Worst Enemies. An often under-sized replica of a man's cock, usually named in a comical manner. Rarely a replica of an animal's cock, and then always named hilariously pretentious things like "Thunder" and "Spirit".
Also: What you put in your Livejournal next to pictures of your children[1].
Dildos can commonly be found on the floors in movie theaters after a showing of a Johnny Depp film. What's so special about these is that they can taste buttery if found near spilt popcorn.
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[edit] The First Dildo
Early Man made his bid to sentience by discovering he could kill animals and eat their sweet brain meats - unfortunately, animals ran away a lot. As a result the men had to hunt them over great distances and women, with their valuable wombs, were left behind - guarded by their children. Since children invariably have a penis too small for adequate penetration these women, with their biologically programmed lust for cock, inevitably invented a way of pretending that they had a strong, providing man with a prominent forehead. Thus was born the world's first dildo, and the women's famous propensity of living in a fantasy world.
Its name, roughly translated, meant "empathy of blood". It was communal in use until another woman discovered a similar rock that wasn't hackly - this one was named "son of mothering tribe" and had a vastly smaller fatality rate.
[edit] Perjorative
"Dildo" is also in perjorative use - like any good word - and is identical in use as words which refer to real penises but for the additional implication that one is not even real. Pinnochio was commonly called a dildo.
[edit] Jews and dildos
It is a little known fact that jews don't use dildos - they use cucumbers because it's cheaper and when they're done they can get a nickel for it from some homeless shelter.
[edit] New-found-land
Canadian dildo use is so entrenched that they named a town after them - although, during its early colonial days, there was a dispute as to where the dildo should go and, subsequently, the smaller township of South Dildo was erected close by.
[edit] Famous Dildos in LJ History
- dildobucket, a serial adder.
- You can rent a dildo at Rent-a-Dildo.com
Or you can just get your own, cause renting is gross and can give you AIDS
- If you are sutpid ass-hole You can make one School about Dildos
[edit] See Also
- Mecha-Dildo
- DILDOlover, a jewtube user who claims he loves dildos!
- HTS-Noob, who used a Highlighter as a dildo in his ass, with hilarious results!
- Wikiphilia Scroll down to Uses. You can't get better instructions than that.
- Giant dildo of death
- Goatse What happens to fags if they liek it too much.
- Zeta toy A company that makes dildos of animal cocks. Inform the furries and save a puppy from rape.
