Dinosaur
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Dinosaurs existed at least 100 years ago. They were lizards who were huge intellectuals ruling the universe with compassion and kindness until Abraham Lincoln came along and emancipated human beings (who competed with mice to kill them for e-points).
Their decline occured in waves: The super-intelligent dinosaurs lived underground or turned into fish and lived in the sea, where they could hide from the mice. However, eventually the mice invented dolphins to catch the fish-dinosaurs, and the remaining dinosaurs were quickly wiped out after that. The dinosaur race did make a brief comeback in the 1990s through the Jurassic Park movies, but it was not to last as the movies were pants and starred Jeff Goldblum. That said, a movie with Jeff Goldblum is, by definition, pants unless Jeff Goldblum is eaten by some great big lizard which, of course, he wasn't. The editor would like to apologise for this redundancy.
Dinosaurs should not be confused with dragons. While dinosaurs are kind-hearted elites, dragons are flighty types who breathe fire, hoard gold, read romantic poetry and reincarnate as sad losers with overactive imaginations. This makes them a favorite of otherkin types and Dungeons & Dragons fans, both of whom should be avoided at all costs. Dino-fanboys are a special breed of unlikeable weirdo unrelated to otherkin.
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[edit] Unpopular Science
Some scientists now believe that birds may be dinosaurs in disguise. This explains why so many of them eat mice, and why they attacked everyone in Hitchcock's The Birds. Fossils of feathered dinosaurs found in China support certain dinosaurs becoming ninjas. It is, however, a widely believed fact that the dinosaurs are just something the jooz buried in 1924.
[edit] Drama-saurs
The funny thing is that dinosaurs never existed. We know this because the Bible tells us so, and there aren't dinosaurs in the Bible. Thus, be sure to tell your favorite liberal friend that dinosaurs don't exist, and reap the results:
- You: Dinosaurs aren't real because Jesus says so.
- pirat_ponton: You ignorant fucktard, it's Raptorjesus.
It is also useful to note that the existence of smart lizards goes down well with the tinfoil hat crowd, as they have been espousing this belief for years, and believe that Al Gore, Bill Clinton, Ronald Reagan, and George W. Bush are all smart reptiles. This is impossible, because Gore is a robot, Reagan is dead and Bush is not intelligent.
[edit] "Dinosaurs" and the Bible
It has recently been uncovered that dinosaur fossils are actually the bones of dragons, re-arranged by Satan and his minions to make Christians doubt the Bible.
[edit] Dino Documentary
Holy fucking shit! It's a dinosaur! Jesus Christ, WTF? OMFG, fucking dinosaurs! Holy shit, WTF?
[edit] Related Links
The Creation Evidence Museum's FAQ telling us that dinosaurs are, in fact, in the Bible.
