Dolphy
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ THEY GOT TIRED OF PLAYING SOLO |
Dolphy (Susanne Almanstoetter of Dachau Germany) is a Disney fan based primarily on DevianTART and fanart.lionking.org, 23 years of age, and likes Jim from Treasure Planet (aka That Disney Film That Tanked and No One Cares About). A lot.
Despite her unrequited love for cartoon boys around the age of fifteen, Dolphy is a loyal friend who will flame to the death when one of her internet buttbuddies is snarked by a group of jealous furfags (Fig.1). Birds of a feather flock together as in the case of Atimon, a rabid Timon fangirl who has now a page of her own, and who was snarked for her own disgusting Timon pr0n.
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[edit] In the "artist's" own words:
From own homepage;
| —Dolphy |
[edit] Fantasies of a 24 year old woman
[edit] About the "Artist"
Dolphy is so much more than just a grown German woman (???), Mary Sue and a furfag attending animation school with no job. What more could she possibly be, you ask? Well, read on.
NICKNAME : Dolphy
REAL NAME : Susanne Almanstoetter
AGE/BIRTHDAY : 24 / October 4th , 1984
HEIGHT : 1,67 m
WEIGHT : You really think she'll tell ya that? Then you're crazier than she thought! : D
Inspired by guess who! |
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There are at least a hundred of these in her gallery. Literally. |
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At least Marina doesn't weigh over nine thousand pounds |
Turns out Dolphy is an anarchist. Or genocidal. |
Oh, and don't forget emo. |
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[edit] Death of a Loved One, Trivial compared to a loss of 30 dollars.
Only Dolphy, with her legion of retarded fans, can get away with making herself seem like the poor starving artist for losing out on a little bit of money (a mere $30 or so?) while on the flip side, someone lost her mother.
Dolphy whined and complained that one of her commissioners was able to see a free sketch from her oh-so-talented hands. This fan commissioned her a picture dedicated to her recently dead mother. Dolphy usually shows her commissioners a sketch before the commissioner has to pay, and this was no exception. The commissioner was probably too busy burying her dead mother, so paying an internet artist for something as trivial as this probably wouldn't be her top priority, and so she never answered Dolphy's emails.
Most other artists would let it be. Not finish the picture and be done with it--or perhaps even make it a gift for this poor girl. But Dolphy threw a bitch fit. She finished the picture, posted it on her DA site and bitched about how she got ripped off in true attention whore fashion.
Her fans whined with her in chorus. What cruel person could take advantage of poor Dolphy like that, after all. Screw your dead mother, Dolphy needs that $30 to buy more Jim memorabilia she can masturbate to!
And of course, Dolphy was eventually paid that money by fellow basement-dweller Dagerom [1]. That’s right, some idiot thought, “Oh, the injustice!” and paid Dolphy the money, and will see nothing from it.
Dolphy needs some moar asspats and money, plz.
[edit] The Concept Art Incident
| —some troll wannabe |
On August 26, 2008, an unfunny newfag did it wrong and took a couple pieces of Dolphy's art to parade in front of the drawfags over at Conceptart. It drew expected criticism on anatomy and perspective to which the obvious fail troll responded with standard boring and painfully fake butthurt, succeeding in generating a total of zero lulz. The thread was quickly locked as the Conceptart forumers realized obvious troll is obvious.
The real Dolphy was promptly alerted by her legion of fantards, posting a call to arms in her DA journal. Naturally her fanfucks flooded Conceptart to swamp the mods with hundreds of reports of the offender, and spamming the Conceptart Lounge with Dolphy Support threads. Insults and accusations flew as over 100 comments were posted in her journal, her fans foaming at the mouth, and lashing out at the troll, Conceptart's obvious jealousy at Dolphy's mad skillz, and accusing ED for their sins against Dolphy. The incident ended with with fans offering Dolphy asspats and e-penis sucking to ease the unjust cruelty of having her work unwillingly critiqued.
[edit] Dolphy the Skilled Author
Dolphy's also into the fanfiction business! Doesn't that surprise you? But being a very skilled author she would NEVAR write Mary Sue fics. Here's an example from her "me did writy writy, wanna see?" page:
| —Dolphy |
[edit] IRL Dolphy
Compare them to the drawings of herself. You won't find a similarity anyways.
"Our aim is becoming Snapesnogger nagas" |
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[edit] For the Love of Love (Troll Artwork)
Sparklekitty x Jim has quite the fan-following ever since Dolphy popularized it.
[edit] External Links
Dolphy shits on 9/11 victims with her furfaggotry
| Dolphy is part of a series on Furfaggotry |
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| Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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Dolphy is part of a series on DeviantART |
| Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |
Dolphy is part of a series on articles which are the subject of retarded edit wars | Beware all ye who tread here
Anarchy | AngusNitro41 | AniutqaDA | Atheism | Avril Lavigne | Barack Hussein Obama | Black metal | Brian Peppers | Chaos wraith x | Crystal-For-Ever | DisneyFan01 | Dolphy | Dragomike | Evolution | Fat | Hannah Bond | Invader Zim | JackAndSally4Ever | Kay Fedewa | Minichan | Musik Fabrik | MySpace Trolls | Prove me wrong | Psion Guild | Richard Dawkins | Sakra | Sean Taylor | Shadowfox118 | Snapesnogger | Yugioh Card Maker |
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