Dr. Steel

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Guard your loins.

Dr. Steel (full name: Dr. Phineas Waldolf Steel) is a somewhat underground, perhaps even unappreciated musician who is either a very good actor or just batshit crazy. The goal he strives towards through his music is to, in essence, create a Utopian Playland by taking over the world with his Toy Soldier army. He also likes to use puppets in his live shows. He's also liek way awsomer than you and yours.

“	It all comes down to having fun. We spend our lives trapped, when all we really want to do is play. So, let the people play! Let us build a Utopian Playland.	„
—Dr. Steel, making perfect sense

Despite his strange ideas, Dr. Steel actually does have some pretty catchy music.

If you should choose to enlist to become a Toy Soldier, it will soon be apparent that you've just signed yourself into an actual draft. If, at any time Dr. Steel needs some new nurses (his equivalent to stagehands) he may very well contact you if he's in your area. If you refuse when he sends for you, fucking robots will destroy your house.

Hmmm...

Most commonly seen wearing a lab coat, goggles, and gloves, Dr. Steel unintentionally resembles Professor Membrane from the Invader Zim series, which leaves us with the question, who stole from who? Sometimes while on stage he'll remove his coat and rocks around in a wife beater to remind the nurses on stage why they should do what he says without question.

1 His Music
2 World Domination Toys
3 Dr. Drama
4 Dr. Steel Image Gallery
5 External Links

[edit] His Music

Very difficult to find for free, Dr. Steel's music can be bought on the usual websites as well as his own. His style is techno/industrial, almost in the fashion of Nine Inch Nails but with a more fun sort of attitude. Albino Blacksheep hosts a flash music video made by Starkravenmadd featuring Dr. Steel's Fibonacci Sequence here.

The shitty thing about it is that it's very hard to find on shareware (to our knowledge), so the only choices you have is listen to the samples on Dr. Steel's website or just buy the damn CDs off the internet, which, incidentally, have yet to be found on retail stores for some reason (as far as anyone knows). You can download full CDs from his online store, but you still have to pay for it.

But this one's asking for it

His lyrics vary from building robots, utter nonsense, bikinigrams from Satan, and other crazy shit, all done in styles that will ensure the songs will be stuck in your head all fucking day. It has been known to attract DevianTARTS, so it is best not to listen to his music near large groups of people, and incredibly retarded to announce that you are listening to Dr. Steel on a forum, chatroom, or any other place that may be infested with Tartlets. It's only natural that these camwhores would get into the whole Toy Soldier shtick so they can dress up like Soldiers and Nurses, take pictures of it, and show the world how unique and edgy they are.

[edit] World Domination Toys

Dr. Steel's official flash-based website contains just about everything he works for; his bio, music samples, online store, contact information, and of course, The Dr. Steel Show, whose menu screen doubles as an interactive flash page. Click on the jukebox to start the music, and the lightbulbs on the stage to make Dr. Steel dance like a lunatic. It's a fun timekiller, or a fun way to annoy your friends depending on who you are. Once you get bored with that (shouldn't take more than ten minutes) you can watch little bits of interviews, music videos, and live performances.

[edit] Dr. Drama

A curious development involving Dr. Steel is that Christians are taking notice to him, which will most likely generate an epic amount of lulz in the near future. Thinking Christian did an article concerning Dr. Steel, starting off the peice with one of his quotes:

“	Hello, my name is Dr. Phineas Waldolf Steel™ and I’m crazy. At least that’s what they tell me. It’s a real load off my mind too. I mean you can get away with pretty much anything if you’re bonkers.	„

The hilarious, though not surprising part of this article is that the author actually takes Dr. Steel 100% seriously; his philosophies and views, even his desire to rule the world. The author goes on to end the article with a warning to all Toy Soldiers and Dr. Steel fans:

“	Don’t be a Toy Soldier. Live for what’s real. Live in the light of what is true. Live in the light of the Light personified: God revealed in Jesus Christ.	„

Fucking classic! Jerry Folwell would be so proud. The comments on the article are just as lulzy, and a ripe opportunity for trolling, so do what you do best and be sure to post your endeavors. Leave it to the Christians to take something fun far too seriously. They did the same damn thing over that whole Jesus incident too. Also, see the definition of irony for preaching the worship of one imaginary character we can't see one you can for the price of a concert ticket. Lulz.