Dragon Ball Z
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Dragon Ball Z (also known as DBZ or just simply DragonBallz), is a show about a bunch of battle-hardened, 'roid enraged, angry, and constipated super-apes who spend 28 minutes of each episode telling each other about how they're going to kick each others' asses and then spend the other 2 minutes yelling in constipation. Their power is stored in their ballz, which they all stole from dragons because they had none of their own. They have to drag these Dragon Balls around with them, thus they are Draggin' Balls. Hence the name of the show. It is like anime crack. Almost all serious otaku started by watching DBZ and moved onto other shows to try to fill the sorry fact that most of them have no life. Five countries have banned the series because they feared that the economy would collapse if they allowed this into their nations. Most economic problems can be traced to the addition of this show to the regular TV line up in countries where it appears. The show bears more than a passing resemblance to professional wrestling.
Technically Dragon Ball Z was preceeded by Dragon Ball but, although the show is much funnier and contains more pedophilia and lecherous old man jokes, no one watches it. Nor do they watch the DBZ sequel series Dragon Ball GT, a show no one even knows what it was about. They cant even watch Dragonball AF, mainly because it doesnt fucking exist
When watching Dragon Ball Z under the influence of drugs, it is said that any mortal recognizes how crappy it actually is, since especially Cannabis makes DBZ resemble a fucked-up project by Czechoslovakian Art-Students from the 80's which it actually is.
Contents |
[edit] Typical episode
[edit] Format
Every DBZ is divided into "Sagas" which can basically be divided into different (and a continuing downward spiral of suck) villains. Each saga follows the EXACT same formula, yet each 12 year old fanboy of the series attempts to say otherwise. It is as follows.
1. Someone comes from (insert: Another planet, through time, across the street, the 7-11 nearby), and issues a warning that the newest enemy, usually a geriatric old man who, despite his age, threatens the sex lives of the heroes, who each have tiny azn dicks, through Kung Fu.
2. When Z fighters see that the new villain is stronger than them they have to train but No matter how far in DBZ they get and no matter how much their so-called power raises they seem to always have the same ability, which is use all your power to destroy one fucking planet. Not any higher (because if they did get any stronger then they could destroy stars and galaxies with a wet fart)
3. The "battle" Begins. Half of the fighters die outright (this is perhaps further proof that homosexuals can't fight their way out of a paper bag) while Goku (whose name translates into "OMG, they're buying this shit! We're rich!") dyes his hair blonde and takes his shirt off.
4. The villain begins to accept the fact that he's going to lose to a homo, and begins talking smack. 15 episodes of horrible smack-talk ensue, usually "NOOOO!!! YOU CANT".
5. Goku spends at least 100 years creating a variation on a bukake-ball (of which he appears to know many) the size of a school bus which he then lobs at the villain, thus ending the "saga".
6. Slightly less than amusing fanboys attempt to re-create the series (Dragon Ball AF), and wind up stuffed in a locker.
[edit] Characters in Dragon Ball Z
[edit] Goku
Goku is half Saiyan due to heavy inbreeding between Saiyans and Mexicans. Goku is currently the most fucktarded character due to the fact that he was killed, raped, resurrected, raped, killed and raped, and bitch slapped countless times. He is best known for being the 'nice guy' but this is just an attempt to hide his secret desire to own all the dragonballs and thus achieve maximum ejaculation power. One of the many reasons Vegeta hates Goku (besides having done Bulma).
Goku married a Chinese slut he met on the streets of Taiwan and had a son (Gayman or Gohan, depending on your sexuality). Both live in a house subsidized by the U.S government (who wants Super Saiyans running rampage over there, when they already have blacks, azns, Arabs, and other butthurt races in the country). Apparently the only way Goku can beat his enemies is by charging up a gigantic energy ball from his dragon balls, destroying the universe he is in, and teleporting to another universe. Since there are infinite number of universes, he doesn't give half of a shit.
Gohan apparently has a special power that puts his over 9000 power levels over 9000. Gohan uses this power under intense constipation, or when he suffers from erectile dysfunction. When used, Gohan cock slaps anyone who gets in his way, or fires a Kamasutra (the Japanese call it Kamehameha because they don't want Indians fucking them up the ass over copyright) blast bigger than his dad's.
Goku now spends his life working at KFC, using his fucktard powers to cook chicken to levels never dreamed of. He is also responsible for the giant tsunami in 2004 that drowned half of Asia.
If you meet Goku in real life, give him a good cunt punch. This is very possible now that he will officially be played by a Wapanese emo in an upcoming live-action movie.[1] The Wapanese fag who was the son of Tom Cruise in 'War of the Worlds' who everyone was disappointed didn't die at the end of the movie.
[edit] Master Roshi
Master Roshi is quite possibly the best character ever to be created into this anime. He is a porn star, porn addict, pimp, and superstrong rapist. He owns several children on his private island that he keeps locked in his basement. He lures them in by offering them "training", and then makes them fetch his porn for him and do his bidding until they become slaves. He is also sixty years old, which makes him a total p3d0ph1l3. Though, still, he is the only character in the anime that feels an attraction toward women and has a set of balls to call his own. This makes him pwnage. He never got married, but he did at one point have an extremely bipolar girlfriend that would smex him up off screen.Roshi trying to score some pussy
[edit] Vegeta (AKA Vegina)
Vegetus was a character on Dragon Ball Z who started off as a villain, but eventually became an hero and is over 9000 times cooler then anybody eles on the fucking show, seriusly. Vegeta was the Prince of all Saiyans, a race of super-powerful beings that could do typical anime shit such as survive a nuclear blast, shoot energy out of his hands, fly, and punch down buildings. What set the Saiyans apart, though, was the fact that when they saw the Moon, they went batshit insane and turned into a 50-foot tall baboon. Being the prince of all Saiyans, Vegeta was by far the most powerful- that is, of course, until he met the hero of the story. Typical predictable anime. The reason Vegeta is so popular is because while the rest of the heroes on Dragon Ball Z are cowering in fear, he's pissed off that he has to work with a bunch of faggots. Like the other characters, he died at least 100 times during the series but is somehow still alive. His popularity stems from the fact that he embodies the angst and unwarranted self-importance common in all teenagers, which is the show's target audience. Like the other Saiyan characters, in order to even put up a fight, Vegeta must transform into the Master Race, complete with blonde hair and blue eyes. Further proof that the series is funded by Hitler. Despite his popularity, Vegeta is still one of the biggest bitches alive, constantly PMSing about "Cockarott", and how Goku is always ahead of him despite being a low class saiyan. Experts agree that his non-stop bitching, combined with his monthly menstrual cycles, contribute to him being well-received by Wapanese and 13-year-old boys. Eventually he joins up with this pedophile named Bobbity (go figure) and gets bitchified for a few episodes, when in fact he was just rebelling against "the man". Later he threw a fit and killed the guy in an attempt to become top gangsta' because he wants to be black but he can't because he's far too busy trying to fit in with the wapanese.
I mean, hell. He couldn't even get a reading on the power level. What a cunt.
[edit] Bulma
Bulma has been in the DBZ franchise since Dragonball episode 1. She has a penis and often finds herself losing her underwear (in pretty much every fucking episode). Her panties are either pulled off accidentally, such as when Krillin is trying to climb up from this one lava pit or something, or on purpose, when Goku pulls them off because he wanted some puss, or when she's just a fucking dumbass and doesn't remember to dress herself because it makes the fanboys go AYAWEEE SHES SO HAWT!!
This Speakonia video pretty much sums it up
[edit] Dragon Ball Z Syndrome
This foul disease is like cancer for animu, except it takes place on a far larger scale. Basically, it is what happens when Dragon Ball Z has too much influence. It is the #1 reason why anime, and all the things it inspires, are so shitty.
[edit] The Symptoms
Symptoms include, but are not limited to, the idea that the character(s):
- Eat 5 tons of food without taking a dump
for over a yearEVER, unless the plot calls for it, and also without getting fat. - Can use HUGE FUCKING LASERS without them coming from a huge gun
- Can fly without wings or other visible means.
- Have TL;DW transformation sequences with power level increases of over 9000.
- Can survive a nuclear blast, or division by zero.
- Have extremely spiky hair without the use of hair gel.
Other symptoms include:
- Cities getting wrecked on a weekly basis, yet rebuilding during the weeks' respite, and the characters going completely unpunished for their destruction.
- Frequent resurrection of the dead.
- Women never get to be powerful, unless they're bitches.
[edit] Things infected by DBZ Syndrome
- Everything in Category:Anime
- Sonic the Hedgehog - DBZ with furries. DO NOT WANT.
- Newgrounds - At least 100 percent of Flash movies on the site are infected with it, even if there is no violence or plot.
- All fan fiction written by 13 year old boys.
- Furries
- Dylan_Tnga
- 4chan
[edit] Cures for DBZ Syndrome
Should you find yourself infected with DBZ syndrome, you can do the following to rid yourself of this horrible disease:
- Drink prune juice
- Disconnect your Internets
- Unplug your television
- Get rid of all your video games
- Read a book
- ????
- Profit!
Or if you're in a hurry, you can use the ultimate cure-all, becoming an hero.
[edit] Trolling DBZ Tards
One of the most effective ways to troll DBZ threads is to start speculating on how gay the characters are. Eventually, a yaoi fangirl (because millions of them lurk on DBZ boards, and /b/ for that matter) will begin posting gaysecks pictures and the thread will experience epic fail.
Another easy way to troll DBZ fans is to claim one character is stronger than another, like SSJ3 Goku is stronger than Mystic Gohan for example. DBZ fans rage over that kind of shit. DBZ fans will also rage over comparing DBZ characters to non-DBZ characters. A classic example of this is claiming Superman is superior to Goku.
[edit] Rating
- Action: Pick a number between 1 and 0 (Could have been over 9000 but it failed through the Ted Striker-esque recaps and conversations.)
- Lulz: 5?
- Furry highness: I'm sorry, the number was 42.
- Gayness: Over 9,000.
- Furry Gayness: It made my scouter blow up and now I have gay glass shards that carve furry porn into my eyelids...
- Desu: desudesudesudesudesudesudesudesu
[edit] Dragon Ball Z Shtuff
 Gohan powers up for his "Leeroy Jenkins" attack! |
 Cell before chargin hiz lazorz! |
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 Veguhnh5hyeta in his final form. Notice the Aryan features |
 Your doing it rong. |
 Oh /b/, you produce such delicious trolls. |
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 This is a completely typical scene from DBZ |
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Links:
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Dragon Ball Z is part of a series on Anime. |
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