Dragon Ball Z
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Dragon Ball Z (also known as DBZ or just simply DragonBallz), is a show about a bunch of battle-hardened, 'roid enraged, angry, and constipated super-apes who spend 28 minutes of each episode telling each other about how they're going to kick each others' asses and then spend the other 2 minutes yelling in constipation. Their power is stored in their ballz, which they all stole from dragons because they had none of their own. They have to drag these Dragon Balls around with them, thus they are Draggin' Balls. Hence the name of the show. It is like anime crack. Almost all serious otaku started by watching DBZ and moved onto other shows to try to fill the sorry fact that most of them have no life. Five countries have banned the series because they feared that the economy would collapse if they allowed this into their nations. Most economic problems can be traced to the addition of this show to the regular TV line up in countries where it appears. The show bears more than a passing resemblance to professional wrestling.
Technically Dragon Ball Z was preceeded by Dragon Ball but, although the show is much funnier and contains more pedophilia and lecherous old man jokes, no one watches it. Nor do they watch the DBZ sequel series Dragon Ball GT, a show no one even knows what it was about. They cant even watch Dragonball AF, mainly because it doesnt fucking exist
When watching Dragon Ball Z under the influence of drugs, it is said that any mortal recognizes how crappy it actually is, since especially Cannabis makes DBZ resemble a fucked-up project by Czechoslovakian Art-Students from the 80's which it actually is.
Contents |
[edit] Typical episode
[edit] Format
Every DBZ is divided into "Sagas" which can basically be divided into different (and a continuing downward spiral of suck) villains. Each saga follows the EXACT same formula, yet each 12 year old fanboy of the series attempts to say otherwise. It is as follows.
1. Someone comes from (insert: Another planet, through time, across the street, the 7-11 nearby), and issues a warning that the newest enemy, usually a geriatric old man who, despite his age, threatens the sex lives of the heroes, who each have tiny azn dicks, through Kung Fu.
2. When Z fighters see that the new villain is stronger than them they have to train but No matter how far in DBZ they get and no matter how much their so-called power raises they seem to always have the same ability, which is use all your power to destroy one fucking planet. Not any higher (because if they did get any stronger then they could destroy stars and galaxies with a wet fart)
3. The "battle" Begins. Half of the fighters die outright (this is perhaps further proof that homosexuals can't fight their way out of a paper bag) while Goku (whose name translates into "OMG, they're buying this shit! We're rich!") dyes his hair blonde and takes his shirt off.
4. The villain begins to accept the fact that he's going to lose to a homo, and begins talking smack. 15 episodes of horrible smack-talk ensue, usually "NOOOO!!! YOU CANT".
5. Goku spends at least 100 years creating a variation on a bukake-ball (of which he appears to know many) the size of a school bus which he then lobs at the villain, thus ending the "saga".
6. Slightly less than amusing fanboys attempt to re-create the series (Dragon Ball AF), and wind up stuffed in a locker.
[edit] Characters in Dragon Ball Z
[edit] Goku
Goku is half Saiyan due to heavy inbreeding between Saiyans and Mexicans. Goku is currently the most fucktarded character due to the fact that he was killed, raped, resurrected, raped, killed and raped, and bitch slapped countless times. He is best known for being the 'nice guy' but this is just an attempt to hide his secret desire to own all the dragonballs and thus achieve maximum ejaculation power. One of the many reasons Vegeta hates Goku (besides having done Bulma).
Goku married a Chinese slut he met on the streets of Taiwan and had a son (Gayman or Gohan, depending on your sexuality). Both live in a house subsidized by the U.S government (who wants Super Saiyans running rampage over here, when we already have blacks, azns, Arabs, and other butthurt races in the country). Apparently the only way Goku can beat his enemies is by charging up a gigantic energy ball from his dragon balls, destroying the universe he is in, and teleporting to another universe. Since there are infinite number of universes, he doesn't give half of a shit.
Gohan apparently has a special power that puts his over 9000 power levels over 9000. Gohan uses this power under intense constipation, or when he suffers from erectile dysfunction. When used, Gohan cock slaps anyone who gets in his way, or fires a Kamasutra (the Japanese call it Kamehameha because they don't want Indians fucking them up the ass over copyright) blast bigger than his dad's.
Goku now spends his life working at KFC, using his fucktard powers to cook chicken to levels never dreamed of. He is also responsible for the giant tsunami in 2004 that drowned half of Asia.
If you meet Goku in real life, give him a good cunt punch. This is very possible now that he will officially be played by a Wapanese emo in an upcoming live-action movie.[1] The Wapanese fag who was the son of Tom Cruise in 'War of the Worlds' who everyone was disappointed didn't die at the end of the movie.
[edit] Master Roshi
Master Roshi is quite possibly the best character ever to be created into this anime. He is a porn star, porn addict, pimp, and superstrong rapist. He owns several children on his private island that he keeps locked in his basement. He lures them in by offering them "training", and then makes them fetch his porn for him and do his bidding until they become slaves. He is also sixty years old, which makes him a total p3d0ph1l3. Though, still, he is the only character in the anime that feels an attraction toward women and has a set of balls to call his own. This makes him pwnage. He never got married, but he did at one point have an extremely bipolar girlfriend that would smex him up off screen.Roshi trying to score some pussy
[edit] Vegeta (AKA Vegina)
Vegetus was a character on Dragon Ball Z who started off as a villain, but eventually became an hero and is over 9000 times cooler then anybody eles on the fucking show, seriusly. Vegeta was the Prince of all Saiyans, a race of super-powerful beings that could do typical anime shit such as survive a nuclear blast, shoot energy out of his hands, fly, and punch down buildings. What set the Saiyans apart, though, was the fact that when they saw the Moon, they went batshit insane and turned into a 50-foot tall baboon. Being the prince of all Saiyans, Vegeta was by far the most powerful- that is, of course, until he met the hero of the story. Typical predictable anime. The reason Vegeta is so popular is because while the rest of the heroes on Dragon Ball Z are cowering in fear, he's pissed off that he has to work with a bunch of faggots. Like the other characters, he died at least 100 times during the series but is somehow still alive. His popularity stems from the fact that he embodies the angst and unwarranted self-importance common in all teenagers, which is the show's target audience. Like the other Saiyan characters, in order to even put up a fight, Vegeta must transform into the Master Race, complete with blonde hair and blue eyes. Further proof that the series is funded by Hitler. Despite his popularity, Vegeta is still one of the biggest bitches alive, constantly PMSing about "Cockarott", and how Goku is always ahead of him despite being a low class saiyan. Experts agree that his non-stop bitching, combined with his monthly menstrual cycles, contribute to him being well-received by Wapanese and 13-year-old boys. Eventually he joins up with this pedophile named Bobbity (go figure) and gets bitchified for a few episodes, when in fact he was just rebelling against "the man". Later he threw a fit and killed the guy in an attempt to become top gangsta' because he wants to be black but he can't because he's far too busy trying to fit in with the wapanese.
I mean, hell. He couldn't even get a reading on the power level. What a cunt.
[edit] Bulma
Bulma has been in the DBZ franchise since Dragonball episode 1. She has a penis and often finds herself losing her underwear (in pretty much every fucking episode). Her panties are either pulled off accidentally, such as when Krillin is trying to climb up from this one lava pit or something, or on purpose, when Goku pulls them off because he wanted some puss, or when she's just a fucking dumbass and doesn't remember to dress herself because it makes the fanboys go AYAWEEE SHES SO HAWT!!
This Speakonia video pretty much sums it up
[edit] Synopsis
Anne sighed as she sat in her room, staring at her wall. She just finished writing in her diary, and had nothing to do. Life was boring in the Secret Annex, but it was better than the alternative. It was alright talking to Peter and Margot, but they were both such quiet people, unlike the always active Anne. All of a sudden, a flash of light appeared in the room! Anne jumped back, stifling a scream. Before she could run out the closed door she noticed that the person who appeared in the flash was not a Nazi officer, but someone who she had never seen before! His clothes were very strange, and his hair was in a spiky style that was totally new to her. She stood against the wall, wary of the stranger, but he walked towards her and smiled, extending a hand. "My name is Goku." The mysterious stranger said. Anne nervously put her hand in his. He bent down and kissed it softly, then let go. Anne blushed, feeling something she had never felt before go off inside of her. "My name is Anne..." she replied quietly. "I'm sorry for what just happened," Goku told her, "But I was caught in a time portal and deposited here! My power cells will recharge soon, but until then, I'm stuck here." Anne had no idea what the handsome visitor was talking about, but she played along. "Well, sir" she said. "You may stay in my room as long as you like!" Anne blushed again as she said this, and giggled slightly. Goku looked around, and then sat on the bed. "Thank you for the invitation. I'll be sure to repay you for it soon." Anne did not understand what he meant by that, however, when he spoke, she felt a warmth deep inside of her. She sat by him on the bed, staring at the man's beautiful eyes. Finally, she could stand it no longer. Anne leaned over and kissed the stranger on the cheek, and then pulled back quickly, not sure of what she had done. "I'm sorry..." she said, as she stumbled to find the right words. The visitor smirked. "No, that's quite alright." He replied with a smile, putting one arm around her. "You know, you're a very beautiful girl, but I... well..." Anne looked at him, troubled. "What's the matter?" she said, with a sweet smile. Goku looked nervous. "I... I'm already married." he finally managed to choke out. Anne pulled away from him abruptly. "No!" she said loudly, almost in tears. "I'm sorry..." he replied. Anne was furious. "Nothing ever goes right!" she cried out. "I have to go now, my power cells have recharged." said Goku. Anne was in tears by now, staring at the wall so she wouldn't see Goku's face. He smiled a sad smile, and disappeared in another flash, out of Anne's life forever. Anne never forgot him, though... not until the end of time.
One month. Well, it didn’t feel like a month. To Anne Frank, a Jew in hiding from the Nazis, it seemed like a year. One month since the fateful encounter with the mysterious man from another world, who she only knew as ‘Goku’. The handsome stranger had stepped through time and into her life, then disappeared without a trace. Anne was almost sure that they’d never meet again, even though not one day passed without her dreaming of him. Little did she know, however, that their lives were tied by the unbreakable red string of fate.
It was another boring day in the Secret Annex. Anne sat on the bed of her room, writing in her diary. It never occurred to her, however, that this entry would be her last. As she wrote in the quiet attic, there was a loud noise from downstairs. Her heart jumped with both fear and excitement. Was it them? The Nazis? Or, could it be… him? She had no idea whether to run downstairs or to hide. That decision, however, was made for her. Her door flew open, and a tall soldier was visible in the doorway, glaring at her. The cries of her family members and friends were tuned out as Anne only thought of one thing. She stood up and followed the soldier out of her room, down the stairs, and into the back of a truck. “So this is it.” She said quietly to herself. “I’ll never see him, my one true love, ever again. And all those years of hiding… they were for naught.” Then, Anne realized that she left her precious diary up in her room. She broke loose from the officer, and made a dash back into the shop, when he removed a gun from his holster and fired a shot in her direction. Anne fell to the floor.
Anne lay on the floor, feeling searing pain run through her leg, where the bullet had met its mark. The Gestapo officer menacingly moved towards her, grinning, when all of a sudden there was a blinding flash of light, causing the officer to shield his eyes. A huge cloud of smoke appeared next to Anne, blocking her from the soldier’s vision. When the smoke cleared, he was in for quite a surprise. There was Goku, holding Anne in his arms, standing next to a huge metal capsule. “Goku!” cried Anne “You came back… for me!” Goku smiled. “Anything for you, my dear.” He said. “Our love will never be lost… not until the end of time.” The Gestapo officer turned tail and ran, but Goku was too quick for him. After laying Anne on the concrete, he dashed towards the Nazi and knocked him to the ground, unconscious, with only one blow. “Nazi scum.” Muttered Goku as he spit on his enemy’s limp body, then returned to Anne. “Here, I have something for you.” Goku said, as he removed a small bean from his pocket. “What on earth is this?” asked Anne. Goku smiled, remember how ignorant she was to what was everyday life to him. “A senzu bean.” He said. “Just eat it, and it will cure your leg.” Anne followed his instructions and popped the bean into her mouth, as the wound on her calve magically healed. “Now come on.” Commanded Goku. “We’ve got some Nazi ass to kick.” Anne jumped on the mysterious Saiyan’s back, as he launched off into the sky.
After only a few moments, the two of them arrived in Berlin. Tanks were parading down the street, as Adolf Hitler himself stood on a platform overlooking it all. “Stay here.” Goku said, dropping Anne in a shaded area under a tree. He then flew straight towards the parade of tanks, fist outstretched, screaming as loud as he could. The soldiers below scattered in terror, while the tanks tried to aim their cannons at him. He was too quick and nimble for them, however, and opened the hatch of a nearby Panzer, then headed inside. After dispatching of the soldiers in control of the war machine, he took the wheel. He fired round after round into the crowds of Nazi soldiers, occasionally firing at the other tanks. After only minutes, there was nothing but a cloud of dust and corpses. Goku emerged from the tank’s hatch, smiling now that he had done his duty. When all of the dust cleared, there were only two people remaining on the parade ground: Goku, the Saiyan hero, and Adolf Hitler, the most evil man ever to walk the earth.
Anne watched from nearby fearfully as she saw the two men stare at each other for what seemed like hours. Her one true love, and her ultimate oppressor. It had come down to this. “So,” Hitler said jovially “You took out all of my men. However, you aren’t going to defeat me.” Hitler then jumped down from his platform and down onto the street in front of Goku, pulling a chain gun from the ground nearby. Goku quickly jumped behind a ruined tank, as Adolf opened fire. The tank made decent cover, but it wasn’t long until it would be torn apart by the hail of bullets. Goku had to act. He dashed out from the side of the tank, and flew as fast as he could toward Hitler, who had no time to react. He grabbed the chain gun out of his enemy’s hands, and snapped it over his knee with ease. Hitler stumbled backwards, shocked at the turn of events. Goku smirked, then said “It’s come down to this. You and me. Fighting like men. If you admit defeat now, I’ll kill you rather painlessly.” Goku had the definite advantage. Or so it seemed. Hitler burst into a laugh, as Goku looked on quizzically. The mustachioed man slowly rose into the air, as his brown hair and pencil moustache turned a blonde color, and his brown eyes turned blue. Goku reeled in horror. Hitler continued laughing, then finally said “Goku! You came here expecting to find a madman, but instead, you found a GOD!” Hitler had become a Super Saiyan.
Anne looked on in awe, not sure what was going on. At first, it seemed like her lover would win the battle, but now she was not so sure. Goku now seemed scared of his opponent, and it was for a good reason. Hitler continued to speak “Goku, can’t you see? I’ve reached a power level 10 TIMES anything you’ve ever achieved! Your fate is sealed, weakling.” Even though the battle seemed unwinnable, Goku charged in, screaming at the top of his lungs. Every blow he struck with was deflected off of Hitler’s rock hard body. Hitler waited for Goku to tire himself out, then raised his fist and punched Goku. And one punch was enough. Goku was knocked across the street into a large propaganda poster of Hitler, thudding to the cold, hard ground. Hitler laughed, thinking that victory was in his hands at last. Goku, however, was not ready to give up. Bruised and battered, he rose from the ground, limping in Hitler’s direction. The Nazi leader laughed. “You still want to fight? Don’t you know when to give up, boy? You can hardly walk. And you expect to beat ME? Conqueror of Europe?” Goku ignored Adolf’s taunts as he continued to stumble his way forward. Finally, the two archrivals were standing face to face. Goku stared Hitler into the eye, then screamed “This… is for LOVE!” and flew up into the sky, his hair turning blonde, his eyes blue, and an aura of power radiating from him. Hitler looked on in horror at Goku. He had made the ultimate achievement. He had become a Super Ultra Power Saiyan. Goku made a cup shape with his hands, aiming at Hitler, as he belted out the words “Kame… Hame… HAAAAA!” as a beam of pure energy shot at his enemy, disintegrating the Nazi leader’s body. Goku then collapsed to the ground in a heap, exhausted from the fight. Two years later: Anne and Goku had finally reached the date of their wedding. After the battle, Anne and Goku destroyed the time machine and took a boat to Australia. They changed their names and lived new lives, ready to start over. The two young people looked into each others eyes as they kissed, as the reverend pronounced them man and wife. Finally, it seemed, Anne was at peace. And they would always be together, until the end of time.
[edit] Dragon Ball Z Syndrome
This foul disease is like cancer for animu, except it takes place on a far larger scale. Basically, it is what happens when Dragon Ball Z has too much influence. It is the #1 reason why anime, and all the things it inspires, are so shitty.
[edit] The Symptoms
Symptoms include, but are not limited to, the idea that the character(s):
- Eat 5 tons of food without taking a dump
for over a yearEVER, unless the plot calls for it, and also without getting fat. - Can use HUGE FUCKING LASERS without them coming from a huge gun
- Can fly without wings or other visible means.
- Have TL;DW transformation sequences with power level increases of over 9000.
- Can survive a nuclear blast, or division by zero.
- Have extremely spiky hair without the use of hair gel.
Other symptoms include:
- Cities getting wrecked on a weekly basis, yet rebuilding during the weeks' respite, and the characters going completely unpunished for their destruction.
- Frequent resurrection of the dead.
- Women never get to be powerful, unless they're bitches.
[edit] Things infected by DBZ Syndrome
- Everything in Category:Anime
- Sonic the Hedgehog - DBZ with furries. DO NOT WANT.
- Newgrounds - At least 100 percent of Flash movies on the site are infected with it, even if there is no violence or plot.
- All fan fiction written by 13 year old boys.
- Furries
- Dylan_Tnga
- 4chan
[edit] Cures for DBZ Syndrome
Should you find yourself infected with DBZ syndrome, you can do the following to rid yourself of this horrible disease:
- Drink prune juice
- Disconnect your Internets
- Unplug your television
- Get rid of all your video games
- Read a book
- ????
- Profit!
Or if you're in a hurry, you can use the ultimate cure-all, becoming an hero.
[edit] Trolling DBZ Tards
One of the most effective ways to troll DBZ threads is to start speculating on how gay the characters are. Eventually, a yaoi fangirl (because millions of them lurk on DBZ boards, and /b/ for that matter) will begin posting gaysecks pictures and the thread will experience epic fail.
Another easy way to troll DBZ fans is to claim one character is stronger than another, like SSJ3 Goku is stronger than Mystic Gohan for example. DBZ fans rage over that kind of shit. DBZ fans will also rage over comparing DBZ characters to non-DBZ characters. A classic example of this is claiming Superman is superior to Goku.
[edit] Rating
- Action: Pick a number between 1 and 0 (Could have been over 9000 but it failed through the Ted Striker-esque recaps and conversations.)
- Lulz: 5?
- Furry highness: I'm sorry, the number was 42.
- Gayness: Over 9,000.
- Furry Gayness: It made my scouter blow up and now I have gay glass shards that carve furry porn into my eyelids...
- Desu: desudesudesudesudesudesudesudesu
[edit] Dragon Ball Z Shtuff
 Gohan powers up for his "Leeroy Jenkins" attack! |
 Veguhnh5hyeta in his final form. Notice the Aryan features |
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 Your doing it rong. |
 Oh /b/, you produce such delicious trolls. |
 This is a completely typical scene from DBZ |
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 This man is normally a mild tempered brunette. |
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Links:
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Dragon Ball Z is part of a series on Anime. |
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