Dying alone

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The journey of dying alone is not unlike the Noble Eight-Fold Path of Buddhism. One must discipline the body and mind in preparation for alienating everyone who has ever loved or cared for you. The first step in this journey is often a self diagnosis of Asspergers or Antisocial Personality Disorder (Sociopath). Dying alone is an endeavor which takes a lifetime of dedication.

Contents

[edit] Dying Alone Checklist

OSHA-required warning sign reveals ugly truth
OSHA-required warning sign reveals ugly truth
  • You hate your family and they don't understand why.
  • You hate all your ex-girlfriends/boyfriends even though they want to 'like' you.
  • You have no relationship with your neighbours (who will only notice/report you because of the stench of decaying flesh).
  • You despise humanity and prefer the company of yourself, cats and 'people' you have never met and probably never will.
  • You are not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank (less than zero). You're not the car you drive (you have no car). You're not the contents of your wallet (three worn receipts from McDonald's). You're not your fucking khakis (jizz and urine-stained sweatpants). You're the all-singing (WHEN I WAS), all-dancing (DDR) crap of the world and it's your duty to refuse to participate in the status quo. And most importantly, you are not the quotes you make from a 9 year old Brad Pitt movie you fucking wannabe rebel.
  • Every Friday night, you dress in Vietnam War era camo, load your guns, take Morphine, drink Thai whisky, and watch "Apocalypse Now Redux" on DVD at full volume in the dark.
  • You own a Fleshlight.

[edit] Those Who Have Died Alone Before Us

Owning one of these guarantees that you will be dying alone.
Owning one of these guarantees that you will be dying alone.
Owning one of these guarantees that you're gay, and will be dying alone.
Owning one of these guarantees that you're gay, and will be dying alone.

[edit] People with the Noble Aspiration of Dying Alone

Captain James T. Kirk

[edit] People Who Deserve To Die Alone

[edit] See Also




Dying alone
is part of a series on
Dying Alone
Those Who Have Died Alone

Anna Nicole Smith | Arielle Newman | Charmaine Dragun | Chris Benoit | Codey Porter | Heath Ledger | Hitler | Lilo | Megan Meier | Mitchell Henderson | Otoya Yamaguchi | Ripper | Rudolph Zurick | Tyler Dumstorf

Those Dying Alone

Ahotwheelscar | Amy Winehouse | Anonymous Borg | Argent009 | Chuck M. | Epic fat guy | GoddessMillenia | Jimbo Wales | Joy Nash | Lecarick | Nullcherri | Pete Doherty | Sceptre | Snapesnogger

Their Methods

4chan | AIDS | Anime | Booze | Dead Friend | DeviantART | Drugs | Fleshlight | Self-seclusion | IRC | Jenkem | LiveJournal | Lonely | MySpace | Plastic Crap | Prayer Beads | YouTube

Image:Little Troll.gif Dying alone is part of a series on Trolls.

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