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Friends

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If you enjoyed Friends, do this RIGHT NOW!
If you enjoyed Friends, do this RIGHT NOW!
These guys are not your friends.
These guys are not your friends.
What are friends..? In your case, NON-EXISTENT!
What are friends..? In your case, NON-EXISTENT!

Friends are something that you don't have, and probably never will have. Friends was also the name of a fucking awesome TV show that sadly got canceled. Many tears were shed for our beloved Friends.



Contents

[edit] Friends: You Have None

OMG! Best friends for evar!!!
OMG! Best friends for evar!!!

According to experts in the subject, a Friend is a non-existent mystical well wisher from the realms of the imagination, a lot like God. On LiveJournal, it is someone on your Friends list (note: these people have no real friends). This version of the term "friend" can be used as both a noun and a verb. For example:

Noun 
"He is my friend, so he can see the n00ds I post."
Verb 
"Great userpic, can I friend you?"

[edit] IRL Friends

Typical white friends.
Typical white friends.

Rumor has it these people exist, and many users of the Internets claim to have many, but this is probably not true IRL. It would appear to the untrained eye that many IRL people enjoy friendship but they're secretly rapists and just want to see you nude.

[edit] OL Friends

Even OL most people will claim to be someone's "friend" just so they can see their goods. When people camwhore, this is an excellent way to increase one's list of so-called friends. Direct communication is not a must for OL friends; only reading is. Although IRL if a friend asked you "what's up?" you'd probably just talk to them, OL you would probably say "rml".

[edit] TV Show

Friends was a TV show centered around the fantastic idea of watching a group of people who are supposedly friends. Hundreds of persons were captivated by this great show, and there was truly a void in every American's heart when it finished.

Its target audience was teenagers but it soon spread to the rest of the population like a viral video does in our days.


[edit] Advice for the Sexes

For men: You clearly don't have any friends and even if you had them, it would be because of your explicitly sexual intentions with them, proving again that you're nothing more than a sick fuck.

For women: UR FRIENDS ONLY WANT TO FUCK YOU IN THE ASS SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE U KNOW SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL BECOME AN OUTRIGHT WHORE LOLOLOL.

[edit] Conclusion

FRIENDS
Because you have none.

[edit] See Also:

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