ED5

A shit years filled with drama and AIDS. Ostensibly preceded by 2003 and succeeded by 2005.

Fun Facts About 2004

• Justin Timberlake flashed Janet Jackson's tit at the Super Bowl.
• George W. Bush stole the election and John Kerry, Green Day, Hollywood and other leftards took it in the ass.
• Ronald Reagan became worm food; before his corpse had cooled, this was already being used to troll American Conservatives.
• EA pwnt ESPN by obtaining the exclusive rights to all NFL & Players Association licenses.
• William Shatner released some kind of album.
• EverQuest II and World of Warcraft were released.
• Shit bands Creed, Phish and Eve6 each did the world a favor.

You don't know what a mediacrat is?

Then you don't know shit about 2004. Get on it.

Old, outdated crap. 2005 is obsolete.

According to NBC, Gwen Stefani's Holla Back Girl is the number one song of 2005, making 2005 the Year of Shit Music, again. W continues second reign over Murrika after votes were baleeted, thus proving niggerdom was soon to come.

Hurricane Katrina pwns Nawlins.

Joseph Evers

“	Freedom of information for all eternity.	„
—Joseph Evers, Gentleman & scholar

Stumbling out of the desert after a month-long ayahuasca binge, and having discovered the ancient secret of health, wealth, and self, he set his sights to ED - bringing the much-needed loyalty to lulz that has sustained ED lo these five long years. Oh, and deep pockets.

See Also

• XP
• To the max
• Extreme

One of the oldest operating systems on Earth.

Already, there have been reports of bugs and glitches in the system. Microsoft is currently working on a patch for 2006 and is expected to come out January 1, 2007.

Designated the International Asperger's Year (seriously) commemorating the 100th anniversary of the birth of Dr. Hans Asperger, discoverer of Asperger's Syndrome.

2006 was a good year for drama. Democrats won the House and the Senate, only to see their one seat majority die of a heart attack before the power kicked in yo. Loose Change creators released another batshit video, and all while the machine of IRL worked, drama was occurring all throughout the internets, which we now know are a series of tubes.

The most important thing to remember before reading this article is that Fred Bauder cannot practice law in Colorado due to soliciting a client's wife for prostitution.

Sheneequa's look back on '06

Dramas and Events of 2006

January

• Bantownians claim to hijack more than 900,000 LiveJournal accounts.

Well, more than 9000, at least

• The "OH SHIT WE'RE SCREWED!" Era comes to an end.

Idiots.

• Madrigalskylark "goes nuts"

He "went crazy" a month later

• thoseskinnygirls founded

No wannarexics!

• Ebaumsworld attacked by YTMND for image theft

You can guess who won

February

• Jakejekyll

He's down with the clowns. In hell.

• Crazayjillay probably popped out a baby

But nobody cares enough to check

• Djfox left forever

Oh, no wait, nevermind

• Futuristic Sex Robotz released album Hotel Coral Essex

You've never heard of them

March

• Delete fucking everything

Supposedly pissed off by Jacknstock, Banaan and Bastardman delete a slew of articles before leaving.

• Cosplayfucks reached 1000 members again

Everyone barfs

• Meatspin.com sold on eBay

A great shock site lost

• David Shadle charged with first-degree murder

LOL MySpace

• My Immortal appears on teh Internets.

April

• Dwarlinggirlxcore

A girl calling herself the lesbian lover of Harry Potter's Emma Watson causes plenty of lulz on ED.

• Mitchell Henderson

13 year old boy gets his iPod stolen, shoots self in head. Also his friends can't spell; reportedly, by committing suicide he became an hero.

May

• Boob Nazis

LJ mommies goes batshit when LJ Abuse tell them they cannot have breastfeeding default icons.

June

• ED's 3000th Article

Mu be had

• Adella

ED makes plenty of weeaboo roleplaying fuckwits cry with just one article.

• Andrewpants

The guy who fucked Mediacrat and lived to tell about it parties too hard and dies in the bay area.

• Christopher Walken

First recorded use of substituting PowerWords for Christopher Walken

• National Emo Kid Beatdown Day

An excellent holiday indeed

• Jacknstock

Jacknstock blocks Girlvinyl's husband Crayolacrime over a Warcraft edit. Gets raped up the ass.

• Protect fucking everything

A few days after Jacknstock is blocked, a vandal pagemoves hundreds of pages. All 3000 pages of ED were set to be page-move protected when Krade finds out how to fix it with one button.

• Purple PJs

The founder of Purple PJs decides to go batshit crazy.

• Put shoe on head

Pissing off camwhores who missed their old requests of 'pls stik ur finger in ur azz' as hundreds of ytmnders ask them to put a shoe on their head.

• Rainbow blinkies!

ED's trademark rainbow blinkies are used to make fun of Jacknstock for being fired. First ever on User:Jacknstock.

July

• 16 year old girl becomes first page to break 100K page views

Only took 4 more months to break the second 100K.

• Dollfie

OMFG DO NOT INSULT MY DOLLFIES

• Get on IRC fgt

ED IRC invented to coordinate lulz. Get on irc fgt invented as catchphrase.

• Illemonati

A bunch of aspie 13 year olds go vandal-crazy when they see that ED disses the Beatles!

• Mel Gibson

Tells it like it is!

• MONGO

MONGO, a Wikipedia sysop, goes ballistic when a screencap of ED's main page is uploaded to TOW, and repeatedly vandalises ED. We lose our article on TOW as a result. LOL

• P-p-p-powerbook

ED writes and hosts the internet's only non-pdf version telling of the P-p-p-powerbook tale.

• Tawneelynne

She's in ur jernal, suin ur friendz. Tawneelynne provides many n00dz and lulz for the whole LJ community.

• The Great Habbo Raid of July 2006

Hundreds of /b/tards, and one shitty socializing site collide

• War

Zany antics ensue when Hezbollah trolls Israel.

• Zenofeller

"I know! I shall steal from ED and Uncyclopedia to make my own kick-ass site!!!"

August

• /b/-day

A great schism over loli. In the end, nothing happened

• Culturalbaggage

Culturalbaggage sees his three line article and legally threatens ED. Tfo then expands his article to what it is now and culturalbaggage quits before he gets any further behind.

• Funnelgirl

Open wide!

• Littlefag

The self-proclaimed king of trolls fails horribly.

• Nathanr

Living up to the name Wikipedo

• Gay Drama 2006

Tfo and Nets troll their own kind all over LiveJournal.

• Malerymalamute

Fucked some dogs; reported to have enjoyed it.

• John Mark Karr

So many lulz... so little time. ED tips our collective titfer to the extra creepy, wannabe tranny pedo schoolteacher who 'came out' in style in 2006: to admitting guilt in the 1996 murder-rape of a 6-year-old "beauty queen" that he didn't do. Why? Pretty much for the lulz. His journey including a l337 ride home from Bangkok on the Party Van jet.

September

• DannyRose

Nothing gets better than the raping of a paraplegic fox-child

• Duke Otterland

Artistic Autistic furry gets pissed off about his ED article, documenting the Duke's daring exploits. Lulz ensue.

• Facebook

New stalking feature had students up in arms. Nowadays, everybody uses it.

• Hans Reiser

Trolled wife to death

• Lonelygirl15

Lonelygirl15 exposed as fraud. Gets even more subscribers than before.

• Lulzcon

On Sept 29, some Dramacrats got together.

• Mexicanicepick and subsequent invention of triggerz

Almost raped for being a cocktease

• RFJason Craigslist Experiment

"fuck the long message. want the cock or no, hon?" This event brought ED's pagerank up to 1200 and got mentioned on countless blogs, newspapers, and even MSNBC.

• Rob Levin

Remember bike safety, kids!

• ShutdownED.org

Girlvinyl makes a false site with a petition to shut down Encyclopedia Dramatica. Many furries and wikipedophiles fall for it.

• Steve Irwin

CRIKEY! A stingray!

• Ted Stevens

The internet is a series of tubes.

• WolfJLupus

Beastiality is not wrong, because they're in love!

October

• Borat

A troll of epic proportions including lawlsuits from two countries and - so far - three of his movie's "victims".

• Chasethehedgehog

A very talented artist in the top 10% of DeviantART

• Cyclotouriste

Amazing, but lonely, biker/prophet looking for some poon

• Cyndre

Psychic-doom's leader has such a lovable mug.

• Dangerdan

Many a good person was sent to internet jail for trolling this lad

• DJ Skeptik

Protracted edit-war with a shitty musician.

• ED's 4000th Article

My, we're getting big

• ED starts LNN

Proving that sometimes you just can't make this shit up.

• Jake Brahm

Anonymous gets busted for threatening football.

• Mark Foley

Gramming the one-eyed snake with little boys

• Neowin.net& Bill Gates

Full of nothing but Microsoft puppets, trolls, and horny teens

• Pussyhawks

Pussyhawks (suomeksi Pilluhaukat) on tamperelainen järjestö. Järjestön jäsenet ovat tunnistettavissa erityisen kireiden vaatteiden käytöstä ja vulgaarista kielenkäytöstään.

• Teenage Kings of Werribee

Australians rape retarded girl, record it, publish it, get arrested; they have criminal blood, after all

• Ultraviolet News Network

How does one wage an internet war, with only one side knowing of it? These delightful young men know how!

• EDiots

ED's counterpart to btard

November

• Buzzboard

The watering hole of Washington, D.C.'s basement dwelling ravers

• PeppermintPatti

McDonald's did not want her bears because she was ugly.

• YouTube Street Team

Though aborted at birth, infantile non-organization delivers the lulz

• Argent009

Gay weirdo with a dragon fetish threatens assault, murder, e-lawsuits, FBI investigations, delivers on nothing, retreats, eats free pizza.

• Insane Clown Posse

Juggalos love us

• Gay God

Gay attention whore that all the girls fap over

• Kramer

Simply warns audience about presence of niggers and is unfairly reprimanded by the old media ogliarchy

• Metting

I don't know what's going on in this article either.

• Ted Haggard

Conservative Evangelist turns out to be raging crystal queen

• OJ Simpson

Announces he's signed a mega-buck deal with Rupert Murdoch's Random House Books for a book about the murder of his wife and her lover entitled "If I Did It; Here's How It Happened."

• Lots of ongoing Wiccan drama

Once they were friends, now they just spend time spreading AIDS, getting abortions, and being a camwhore

• Djdlikesxbox

Boy tries to pick up a chick on an IRC channel. He's not allowed on the computer anymore.

December

• Bravesgirl5

Pedobait gets trolled off of YouTube and MySpace

• Crossmack

Incredible faggotry that denies any and all summary

• Michael J. Fox

Michael J. Fox will never be thought of as a decent human being. Because of Parkinson's.

• Wikicide

MONGO quits Wikipedia forever. Or at least until next week.

• YouTube Civil War

Trolls harness THE POWER OF ONLINE VIDEO COMMUNICATION

• Hal Turner

White supremacist podcaster gets ruined

• Wylinoutbitch

Destroys YouTube from the ground up.

• Saddam Hussein is well hung

Just to ruin all the other 2006 year-end round-ups. And as a reminder that when the USA friends you, it has its fingers crossed behind its back.

2007, Microsoft's patch for the faulty 2006, has been proven to be just as buggy as the last year.

Some end users were tazed. Some gained sexual attractions Ebon Lupus, children, and even cartoon mice. Some flew off the handle and killed themselves. Many even died from bullet related injuries.

Yes, this glitchy release has caused vans to explode off of their frames, monolithic meeting places to disappear, and all the beautiful women either died or were given worse fates.

Leading scientists have traced these errors to an optional feature known to cause unpleasant side effects.

2007 has proved itself to be as terrible as the old 06 model. Luckily, we are quite certain that life will be improved drastically as soon as 2008 comes out, hopefully in time for Christmas.

A list of teh events of 2007:

January

• Andrew Erickson gets busted for child porn

Possibly the least popular book in the successful children's series.

• Duke Otterland ruined.

DMCA Sent. Article taken down. Committed Perjury. Fails at frivolous litigation; article rises from the dead like some

kinda...OMGZ!!!...it's Jesus...get in the car!!!

• Firedarkdragon

Got raped a bunch and drew some shitty shit.

• The Great Sonic-cide of 2007

Hey it's preteens threatening suicide on the internet I wonder if they actually did it??

• Greg Solomon vs. Renetto bullshit.

Who fucking cares really?

• Hal Turner claimed victory over Anonymous.

He also punched some kid using google image search.

• JEWS DID WTC on CNN.

Before you jump on them, remember that the CNN Fact Checker is a small dog.

• Knuffy.

lol, knuffy.

• Lulzcast Episode 1 released.

Lulz ensued.

• Max gets ANALRAPED by Sonic

You're the dog now, man!

• Sektie Drama

Concerning Meth and Girlvinyl

• TheRedSkull Drama.

President Demeter starts to wear a mask as he tries to escape from renetto's debt collectors

February

• 7chan is shut down from lack of Jew gold.

Tears carve tracks down cheeto-dust encrusted faces.

• 7chan is rezzed by Wyccaen magyckaers for an undefined period of time.

Internet shits itself with joy.

• Anna Nicole Smith dies from a drug overdose.

She wanted to be with her son. In the ground.

• Audreynoland

I'm not a crazy, that's what's so insane about this. Also my family hates me.

• Filthywhore sucks dick for money.

The name may have been a hint.

• Lostpedia

Drama over a wiki full of faggy theories about the show where nothing happens. Primarily Wattage involved.

• Main page redesigned by Blu Aardvark

It sure is as sweet as the dickens.

• Mass exodus of many butthurt pussies to LiveVideo

Defectors include Violetkitty411, Argent009 and CircaRigel. Renetto calls them all traitors.

• My Immortal began its filming,

Is nominated for many academy awards, including Best Use of Clothing Descriptions, and Best Rape of Copyrighted Character.

• Realm-Of-The-Shadows

Not an actual realm, just some fag.

• Tumbles the Stairdragon

Don't help me, I'm not worth it ._.

• Warbears gets its shit ruined.

Because bringing that site down is super hard.

• Youtube Vigilantes head CircaRigel and Irish282.

CircaRigel gets pwned. Irish282 gets pwned later.

March

• TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!

EPIC.WIN. that.is.all.

• CaseyNunez

Andrea Robinette Hostage Drama

• Chevy the Therapy Dog is murdered, and causes much drama.

Batteries Included.

• Daxflame gets in a pee fight,

claims not to be retarded, but rather resmarted.

• Essjay is exposed as a fraud.

People lying about their qualifications on Wikipedia? Who would have thought!?

• The Great /B/lackout ravages Drawball as /b/tards call in /b/lackup.

This was a fruitful use of time and effort.

• The Great Re/b/oot occurs and /b/ is no longer forced anon!

THE END TIMES ARE NEAR.

• Kathy Sierra is a bitch.

She can't go outside guys because of a bad photoshop on some slap-fight of a blog. We need a code of conduct. To not blog ever again.

• Kenneth Eng writes a racist column about niggers, is pwnt by everyone.

By logic dragons sho- DRAGONS DRAGONS.

• Max day occurs for the first time.

Weev and drugs- The Winning Combination

• Michael Crook apologizes to the internets.

Bloggers, heh.

• Poeticirony Mongles her dog.

I don't know how posting pictures of you blowing your dog on the internet could backfire, but it did.

• Ray Jones A+++++++++

In our hearts, don't we all just want to bang a tiny anthropomorphic mouse?

• Sparkling Wiggles means FUCKING NIGGERS.

You're a fucking racist if you laugh at this.

• ZEN

Suicide by arrows, death in style. Also furfag drama.

April

• The Blzn Azn: shoots 32 people and himself in what becomes known as the Virginia Tech massacre because he did it for the lulz.

High Score in pwnage.

• Ben Vodden

Billy No Mates becomes an hero. The little dickhead.

• Chocolate Rain

Some stay dry and others kill the meme. Tay Zonday left trying to recapture his glory days after briefly being King of the Internet.

• Computer Science III

Buddy meme of Virginia Tech after a nigra decides he can take down a major website after taking a college course.

• Fatferaligatr discovered.

Who knew morbid obesity could be so hot?

• Kurtbatz

Faggoty freeloading furry,

• Micha Armstrong

YOU'RE GOING TO HELL BUDDY YOU CAN BANK ON THAT!

• Raukue

He crossed the line when he drew mudkip like that.

• Todd Goldman

Oh dear lawd plagarism on the internet!]

• Rickroll phenomena

Even Family Gay gets in on it.

May

• Encyclopedia Dramatica dies.

Many lulz are aborted.

• The Great Livejournal Strikethrough of 2007

Disgusting perverts think they have power and rights on the internet. PROTIP: They don't.

• My Immortal movie finished.

The cinematic event of the century.

• pigslop

THE DEATH OF PIGSLOP WAS AN INSIDE JOB

June

• 7chan is shut down for a very long time (read: forever) due to party van.

The internet may never recover from this terrible loss.

• BLANKING IN PROGRESS

Just click the fucking link you don't need a summary.

• Dustin Diamond sex tape found.

If only it could be lost again.

• Dying alone

Your fate.

• Encyclopedia Dramatica lives.

:D

• Johnnyr

Spoilers: He's an idiot.

• Find Maddy!

My heart goes out to the family, and I hope the body is found soon. Also the parents did it.

• Larry Craig just shits with a wide stance ok?

Republicans are never gay ever. They are family men with good Christian values. So shut up, you fucking communist.

• Shadowfox118

NEUGH BLUEHG GHUG SONIC AND FURRIES AND PEOPLE WITH NO SOCIAL LIVES IT'S ALL SHIT JUST SHIT SHIT SHIT.

• SokiTwopaw

Ultimadum Deceleration. Furries rally around this illiterate spokesman.

• Synnergy

Prodigous pie consumption. The additional drama should be pretty much implied by now.

• TheAmazingAtheist

Loud fatass with a shitty beard and hair on the internet does not like religion. Nobody saw this coming.

• Tyler Dumstorf just killed two cops, goodbye.

We all are mistakes, Tyler was just a big and worse one.

• Wrestler Chris Benoit gets R-R-R-ROID RAAAAAGE!

Guys stop saying that he didn't do roids nobody in wrestling does roids.

July

• Cult Net

Gets taken down for hosting 7chan's /b/ section with rumored child porn.

• Darkfox

FACEPAWS

• DivineAngel

Casts a hex on Encyclopedia Dramatica

• Fox 11

Tipped off by Alex Wuori, depicted Anonymous as a gang of domestic terrorists on a news broadcast, spawning countless new memes.

• GoddessMillenia

Kan speel gud.

• Harry Potter

Last book comes out, spoiled for everyone weeks in advance.

• InflatibleWolfi

Inflation furry art. Nuff said.

• Krystal Can't Enjoy Her Sandwich

Furries producing something vaguely funny, clearly we have entered the twilight zone.

• Mary Moon

Exercises all her clothes off as the internet watches.

• Revmischa

Fucks a fatty.

• Ron Mexico

BARBARIC!!!

• SapphyDracases

RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE

RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE

RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE

RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE

RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE

RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE

RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE

• Skuee

BAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW.

• xxPrincessPunkxx

Her defense of the emo movement becomes one of the biggest lulz storms.

And of course,

• The Great Habbo Raid of July 2007

Bigger. Longer. 9001% moar drama

August

• 2girls1cup

2007's Funnelgirl

• Michelle Madigan

NBC sends a bimbo cunt undercover to DEFCON 2007, and winds up being a TOTAL FAIL!

• Aeverine Nieves

Tranny sends DMCA, DMCA challenged, lulz restored.

• AngelofthyNight

Hillbilly ghostbuster turns out to be internet tough guy.

• The Anti-ED-Club

Gets shut down

• BitingBeaver

When he feels like masturbating it all goes out the window.

• EMIRRRYYYYYYYY

The mega-weeaboo gets e-raped.

• HellionExciter

Gets pwned by ED..again

• LittleCloud

Insane pedo cloud fangirl.

• Minneapolis Bridge Collapse

Bridge collapse phobia sweeps America! 13 people die nevar 4get this horrible tragedy.

• Owen Wilson

Failed suicide attempt.

• Prokofy Neva

is crazy.

• Waluigis-girl

Defies stereotypes and institutional racism and becomes a creepy and awkward as her white peers.

• WHEN I WAS

A YOUNG BOY MY FATHER TOOK ME INTO THE CITY TO SEE A MARCHING BAND

September

• Anonymous threatens to blow up school on September 11th.

Pictures of bomb accompanied by identifying EXIF data. Way to go hoss.

• Britney Spears fails to make a comeback,

Inadvertently launches career of Chris Crocker, an attention-whore trap.

• Don't taze me bro!!!!

OW OW OW OW OW OW OW

• East High School Salt Lake City

For once cries of gay rape in the locker room turn out to be true. Hahaha, fags.

• KCFireplug

Turns out some fat guy is a dick in relationships. The twist? He's gay.

• Lulzcon 2007

Arguably the high point of the event was when ajt relayed Mori's message of "It's zippocat bitches" to the people of lulzcon.

• Vanessa Hudgens

Chick from High School Homosexual appears naked in pics. Internet wanks.

October

• Bean

Butthurt teenage emo bitch thinks she is hotter and thinner than she is.

• The Caturday Nap

4chan steps out for soup. Comes back. Like Jesus but with more CP.

• Chris Forcand

Pedophilia, eh?

• Chris-chan

Autism once again succeeds in providing us with lulz.

• Cryptokids trying to turn your kids not only into furries but also into the man.

Furries possibly used because Popular Hackers on Steroids have so much furry porn on their sites.

• Douglas L Payne Jr

BUMPER PEDO CROP THIS MONTH

• Dumbledore's gay

Dumb Christian parents now over 50% more concerned.

• Emo Goth Fag enters a school and shoots 4 people

No one died so he became An Hero. Wai 2 Go!

• Ernest Peters

Wants you in the Ernest Peters army!

• If you wanna hang with us, I don't wanna hear you cuss.

Fuck these fucking tiny bitch-ass faggots in their goddamn shitting asses. FUCK. haha i am so witty get it they dont like cussing.

• SFW Porn

The year's greatest invention. Need to rub one out at work but can't alt tab fast enough? This one's for you!

• Kendricks Redtail

Furry drama who fucking cares fuck them.

• Lulznet

Causes some stupid fucking shit.

• Swirl face

If you are going to commit hella crimes at least learn to use photoshop you kiddy-fiddling fuck.

• Yirimyah OD's on emo.

Fortunately does not become Yiri Schiavo.

November

• Anuebunnie

Surprisingly there are fat single mothers on the internet who draw bad porn and have easily hurt feelings.

• August Yifu

Squeak Squeak Yiff!

• Battletoads

Gamestop raid.

• Clementine

Alternate Title: "How Gaiafags Learned to Troll"

• Death!

Evel Knievel, Hawthorne Heights, Sean Taylor, Quiet Riot.

• House

It's nevar lupus. Except that one time.

• Irish282

Banhammered on YouTube

• Jeff Gerstmann

Fired from Gamespot for giving a bad review to a shitty game, internets come together to mourn their loss. NEVER FORGET 8.8

• Jenkem

Drug explodes all over old media after a sheriff's department ripped off our article.

• Matt_Crimmins

was quite rude.

• Megan Meier

Story breaks. Josh Evans a Joseph Evers pseudonym? Also, the world is reminded once more that bulling is rabbit.

• Mr. Gotti

dies, OldDirtyBtard emos :(

• Pekka-Eric Auvinen

The Finnisher ends up with a better kill ratio than The Blzn Azn.

• Pull Your Pants Up niggas.

You must be faggin if yo pants be saggin'.

• Sean Taylor killed.

Fanbois everywhere bawww.

• Yinepusayi discovered.

OH GOD KNITTING ;____________;

December

• 4chan

Was hacked for the very lulz of it, and /b/tards flocked to every other chan for safe haven. Anonymous banded together to expose the h1j4x0rs if only so they could finally say: "gbt4chanfgt!"

• Andrew Greissman

Angry /b/tard sticks it to the black man by stealing a bust of Martin Luthor King from the library.

• Anonymuncule

ED's Benevolent Dictator for Life, ajt, gives EDiots their very own imageboard. You know you rimestoppers.

• Benazir Bhutto

Former Paki Prime Minister that was assassinated last thursday (literally).

• Dr4g0nK1d

Basically a video on basically rants.

• Encyclopedia Dramatica

celebrates its third birthday. Whoulda thunk TOW would come in useful for anything.

• GoddessMine

'The "financial dominatrix" 'top' becomes a a 'bottom' after Anonymous gives her 40 lashes...and then some.

• Google censors the Megan Meier and Matthew Murray articles.

Google changes motto from "Don't be evil" to "Don't be lulzy".

• Hatedwerewolf

FUCK YOU IM A LYCAN

• Jamie Lynn Spears

Britney's pure, virginal, self-righteous teen sister has an immaculate conception.

• Don't Mess With Christmas Shopping!

Aussie /b/tard gets v& for "creating false beliefs". Whatchoo talkin bout Willis?

• Lulz in hell Trollfags

Like ashi_moto's omghai2furries journal when it got ripped off by some furry saying omghai2trolls, but somehow even more fail.

• NinjaWeasel

Keywords: Female. Furry. Liar.

• Nghtmrchld26 channelling Smeagol makes several Ted Haggard fanbois assume the missionary position.

• Robert Hawkins: All your Mallrats are belong to him.

"PS. HE DIDN'T EAT THAT FUCKIN SANDWICH OR THE TOIELET THING EITHER!"

• Smugfag

Claims victory over ED and /b/, subsequently b& from teh jewtubes.lol.

• SnowVhite

Chin-chan's albino twin? Massive amounts of usi detected Captain! Græt Justice was served.

• The Great LiveJournal Buyout of 2007

In Soviet Russia, LiveJournal updates you!

Most everyone would rather forget 2008 altogether and ED is no exception. Between all the unfunny and shit hitting the fan IRL, however, were plenty of lulz, drama and Internets to keep the snugglenet grinning like a batshit crazy Joker. There are 8,000,000 stories in the virtual city; these are just some of them.

Expected events

• Encyclopedia Dramatica dies.
• Miley Cyrus nude.
• W burns the Constitution on live television.
• W gets "elected" for a third term in office.
• Orgies at the Olympic Village + Xtube.
• Death and terrorism at the Olympic Games.
• China wins all the gold.
• China's gold medals turn out to be Jew Gold. Lulz ensue.
• More girls, more cups.
• Merriam Webster adopts one of these as word of the year.
• Caturday Nap, the Second Coming.
• The first dong of 2008 will be posted (see right).
• Catnarok
• Large Hadron Collider fucks up. Much lulz ensue.
• INTERNET HATE MACHINE 3
• Scientology will perish.

Dramas and Events of 2008

January

• Heath Ledger accidentally...An Hero.

BRB nap.

• Gay Diamond

Yet another fatass YouTube tranny camwhore gets acquainted with the Anon and ED.

• Carlos Sousa Jr

brb Lions...

• Ron Paul

For President '08.

• Project Chanology begins

Anonymous declares war on the "Church" of Scientology after they try fucking with Original Content on YouTube.

• Mrfetch declares War on Anon

Anonymous forces turn to a different front.

• Jawsus

That lolcow with the fucked up grill.

February

• Chanology's February 10th Protest. Anon's coming out party.

Anonymous surfaces from the basement for a day of IRL global meme spouting and epic win. So much WIN in fact, it could only go downhill from such lofty heights. Also, holy shit...femanons are teh hawt!!!

• LILSHOWSTOPPA

She never quite succeeded in tellin' the motherfuckas off.

• r9gay

4chan adds a bunch of new boards which are soon overrun by skiddies seeking help for all manner of neuroses and sensitive moralfags from LJ and digg to heal them.

March

• The Ides of March

Moar WIN in the war on the scifaggotry marred only by the loss of Mudkips The Cat when Scifags learn2fight back.

• Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Millions of fanboys BAWWWW when Krystal, Geno, Ridley, Megaman, Ashley, and Mudkip are not included in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, but R.O.B. and 2 Fox clones are. Regardless, tourneyfags still manage to ruin it.

• The Marcab Confederacy

Anonymous - as it turns out - are from a distant galaxy and sends an armada of memeships under the command of the Deathstar Longcat to ræp Scientology.

• SUPERCOOLWILLOW

Sings for Anon.

• The Great Livejournal Content Strike of 2008

Causes massive butthurt in the LJ community, but gave them plenty to whine about on LJ.

• Codey Porter

Becomes S& hero.

• Gemma Anscomb

Shows the world her lack of judgment.

• Billoon45

Shows everyone his love for latex.

• Chuggo

Still trying to get some.

• EQ2Flames

Video game developers and fans acting retarded and threatening each other.

• Hagger

The troll loses his TOW-vandlism virginity and so an hero was born.

April

• Operation Reconnect.

The beginning of the end for Project Chanology, and the beginning of the beginning for those damned moralfags. What happened? One word: hugraids. Hugraids?!!?! Are you fucking kidding me?

• An hero day.

April 20th.

• Operation LIONCASH

RAWR

• Olympic Flame

At the 2008 summer Olympics, the only event worth watching happened before the Beijing games officially started.

May

• ED becomes 'notable' and gets a TOW article.

Much to their chagrin.

• Operation Fairgame:Stop

Chanology gets all SFB trying to raise awareness about Scientology's brutal "Fair Game" policy. Lost on the freshly minted "moralfags" was the irony that Anonymous does exactly the same shit when attacked. And so began the schism that turned the *chans against their former comrades in arms.

• Dongcopter

It's a hit!

• Anabelle Lotus

Gets the respectful funeral she deserves.

• Adam Savage

Shows the world his unique flexibility.

• Age of Conan

Overhyped shitty MMORPG.

• Grawp

HAGGER???????????????????

• Kirtaner gets SWATed.

An Ozfag called Aush0k redeems himself for a month worth of DDoS faggotry by sending Kirt the gift of v&, all the way from Australia.

• Crystal Shinkle

Crystal Shinkle, a poverty stricken girl, uploads a video on Youtube pleading for justice (she was 'raped')

June

• Operation Sea Arrrgh.

Anon attempts to right the sinking ship that is Chanology by taking to the streets dressed as pirates. At this point it becomes impossible to tell who's the moar retarded: Sea Org or Chanology.

• THUNDERDOME

What happens when you put a bunch of trolls, Anons, EDiots, /b/tards and goons into the same room and leave the door open for NORPs? Why, lulz, drama and hueg amounts of faggotry, USI, flaming and butthurt, of course! Social networking was never so hilarious.

• 4chan.js

Gives a dose of chemo to /b/. butthurt to m00t and his modfags.

• Old /b/ Day

Moot trolls the cancer IRL.

• Disneyfan01

DF01 gets hacked when she unwittingly give up her password for fanart. Hacker posts shock picks and gets the account banned. Unfortunately, Disneyfan01 is back in a matter of hours.

July

• Mary Alice Altorfer

Fails to understand lulz.

• Chanocalypse Naow

tl;dr? Once again, the toilet that is IRC backs up and overflows.

• Operation Spy vs. Sci: License to Lulz

• Daniele Fiorenza

Y SO SERIOUS?

• Vince Offer

A star is born. What can you say but: Shamwow!!!

August

• Chris-chan

Returns with a new saga of videos.

• LOLympic Games

China won the medal count due to its totally ethical system of removing promising child athletes from their families and forcing them to train.

• Soulja Boy

Around the 24th of August 2008, some Azn dude called Ko phished Soulja Boy's Myspace, YouTubes and emails, and posted scat porn for all of Soulja Boy's fans to see.

• Sceptre

Wikipedia's self-proclaimed "Anti-ED Poster Child" and faggot boy-king Sceptre receives the banhammer for abusive sock puppetry. What goes around comes around.

• Dorian Thorn

The story of quite possibly the greatest comeback, trolling, mindfuck or practical joke in the entire history of the internets.

• User:Guise ~ It's a TARP!!!

With ED on the verge of becoming an Terri Schiavo, a stranger from a strange land appears on the horizon bearing many jew golds. ED is fucking saved and TOW goes BAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW.

• Tank rush on South Ossetia.

Mr.Putin couldn't wait for the next Red Alert, so he decided to make his own game. Georgian president tried out the demo, but found out it was too hard for him. Armchair generals around the world rejoiced.

September

• Spore

Releases; turns out it was shit. Whoda thunkit?

• EQ2Flames

The admin, LFG, admits to his meth use and his new JesusOwns forum.

• An Halo

Joshua Nimm tries to recreate a suicide from Halo and dies for the lulz.

• ByAppointmentTo

Wins ED's annual "Kettle Is A Nigger" award for internal drama and lulz.

• Large Hadron Collider

CERN attempts to divide by zero.

• Gov.palin@yahoo.com

Sarah Palin's email is hacked.

• Oprah...YHBT

Oprah says "Over 9,000 penises".

October

• Bailout Plan

IT'S A TARP!

• OJ Guilty

Simpson finally goes down in flames on the tenth anniversary of his acquittal.

• The Rolling

Anon pwns MTV in epic fashion, ballot-stuffing Rick Astley onto the list of nominees in the Best Act EVAR category to face-off with a trap named Bill. Guess who won?

• Forumwarz Episode 2

ED's glorious sponsors release an expansion pack to their chan-based RPG.

• Losttrap

Live-at-home trap in training attempts to persuade Anonymous into sending him unmarked estrogen.

November

• Brandon Crisp

The Frozen Prince of Barrie.

• Saint Hill

There is still lulz left in Chanology.

• Candyjunkie

An steroidal hero bites the dust, streaming live (and FREE) on justin.tv. Hundreds watch in horror ambivalence.

• Emo Cutter Girl

You think you are hardcore? HELL NO! THIS bitch is hardcore.

• Epic Sword Guy

Batshit insane ex-Scilon performs hari kari by 'cop' whilst trolling Scientology.

• President Barack Hussein Obama

The only man left standing after what seemed like a decade in the Octagon invents a new meme - "There is only one president at a time" - and beats it into tired old meme status in less than two months.

• DBoyWheeler

One of DA's resident lolcows, furry, pedo and major Jesus fanboy, DBoyWheeler decides to leave dA FOREVA due to butthurt and inability to accept constructive criticism on his shitty art. BAWWW!!

• Ellie

The ugliest mother fucker ever

• Aeverine Nieves

Crazy tranny gets butthurt over her article and threatens to run for the "ED administration election"

December

• Sky Bilchuk

Another camwhore learns that if you wish to remain anonymous on the internet, you shouldn't volunteer information to /b/.

• Blagogate

Crooks? In my Chicago politics? It's moar likely than you think.

• Operation Antfuck

Anonymous declares WOAR!!! on the real asshole of the Internets. Nothing of value was lost and nothing of value came back a couple of days whilst /b/ came to a grinding halt after a blitz of spam chemo from RAIDCHAN.

• Sandalgate

Grateful Iraqis didn't quite welcome the U.S. as "liberators" bearing "flowers and kisses" in 2003 when W got all up in they bidness as predicted but moar than made up for it, bidding a fond farewell to Dubya as a "dog" with a shower of local insults and size 10 shoes.

• JuggaletteJenny

An obese unemployed man is having a mid-life crisis of epic proportions for all the internet to see when he becomes a pre-op transsexual goth lesbian juggalo (not joking).

• Encyclopedia Dramatica Wins The 2nd Annual Open Web Awards

Wikipedia fails to even get runner-up in its own category. Merry fucking Christmas, Jimbo.

• 3Guys1Hammer

A group of friends show you how to make ground beef in the wilderness using some simple tools you probably have lying around your garage.

• 1guy1jar

Not to be outdone by a slut with an iPod, an exhibitionist decides to film himself doing a stretching session with the help of a glass jar. Hilarity ensues when you see Aunt Flow pay him a visit.

• Satan Claus

You better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout, I'm telling you why: Santa Claus is gunning you down.

• An Negro

One of the Jena Six tried to become an hero after getting arrested for normal black behavior, i.e. shoplifting. He failed.

A Year In Review

See also

• 2012
• 2007
• 2006
• 2005
• 2004
• 2003
• 2002
• 2001
• 2000
• 1990s
• 1980s
• At least 100 years ago

What shall be known as year of massive HNNNNNNGGGGG, ranging from that of Jett Travolta, Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Billy Mays, your mom, and the power of the Republican parHNNNNNNGGGGG...

Expected E-vents

• ED dies.
• John Travolta's son will die.
• Anthony Hopkins will die. He's fucking old.
• BO will reveal that he has been a secret Muslim the whole time, and ran for president for the lulz.
• The U.S. of A will get better, despite there being a Muslim in office. He'll get rid of the Jews after all.
• Reality TV will explode.
• All mythical creatures will be proven fake via common sense.
• The cake will stop being a lie.
• There will be another 7/12 raid.

Drama and events from 2009

January

• 1/2/2009 John Travolta's son died.

Jett Travolta, the 16 year old aspie son of John Travolta, dies in the Bahamas.

• Boxxy takes over the internets.

All it took was a 16-year old girl to pull apart the fine fabric of insanity that is /b/.

• 4chan featured on Wikipedia.

• Steve Jobs is "sick".

• ED gets linked to in an Israeli article about Anonymous (link; translation)

• ED mentioned in a Wikinews article about Anonymous (link)

February

• 2/1/2009:Superbowl XXX

February started with a bang of lulz when a Comcast employee in the Phoenix area decided the game needed to be livened up a bit, with cock.

• 2/2/2009 ED:Upgrade 2009

Encyclopedia Dramatica was read only for 24ish hours as we went from web 1.0 to 2.5. ED is slow is now old meme.

• 2/11/2009 Octomom

she had her babies in January, but we stuck our claws in after she started a website begging for money. Oh and we found out that she was unemployed uneducated and wanted to look like Angelina Jolie.

• 2/15/2009:Kenny Glenn /b/ actually has a heart.

When it came to 4chan's attention that some loser dipshit was abusing a cat, it took the internet superheroes less than 24 hours for to identify, locate and dispatch the Party Van.

• 2/19/2009 God Hates Fags banned from the U.K.

Finally someone comes to their senses.

• 2/20/2009 Travis the Killer Chimp

What have we learned here? Chimps are not people too. They are psychopathic killing machines that will eat your face if you change your hairstyle.

• ED gets linked to in an LA Weekly Column (link)

March

• 3/3/2009 PIFTS.EXE

Many Norton product users have been discovering a file called Norton_PIFTS 3-9-2009 19h29m27s.txt sitting in their computer's C:\temp folder.

• 3/5/2009 Watchmen

The long anticipated movie was released today. Jury's still out on its worth.

• Get On IRC Fgt

Encyclopedia Dramatica , in a moment of insanity, re-opened the "kiddie pool" on the IRC server...lulz ensued.

• 3/19/2009 Joseph Fritzl

Our favorite rapist sentenced to life in prison.

• 3/22/2009 Jade Goody

Jade Goody, a racist British reality show non-celebrity, dead from cancer. Goodnight sweet princess whore.

• 3/25/2009 John Katehis

Eat your heart out Chris Hanson this guy not only hunts pedophiles, he does something about it.

• The Chattanooga Pulse magazine does an article on memes and links to the X? In My Y? page (link)

April

• 4/3/2009 This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your vehicle is expiring

Proving, once again, the absolute power of /b/ when they have their panties in a knot, someone finally decided to wage war against annoying telemarketers.

• 4/10/2009 first an hero of 2009?

Tony48219 on YouTube Tony48219 killed fellow YouTuber AsiaMcGowan after an epic, biblical-like, online flame war.

• 4/15/2009 The Hipster Grifter

Do you like beards? Do you want to throw your hot dog down a hallway? Of course you do. Just make sure you have plenty of cash.

• ED is mentioned in a leaked government document "2009 Virginia Terrorism Threat Assessment" (on Slashdot)

• ED is mentioned along with other sites which are used to cyberstalk internet denizens (link)

May

• 5/16/2009 Pear Chan revisited

In December 2008 pictures of a beautiful girl appeared on /b/...or is she? You be the judge.

• 5/20/2009 1man 1jar our best friend resurfaces.

They say they sequel is always better, and in this case its true. Our favorite faceless masochist puts down the jar , and picks up a screwdriver.

• 5/21/2009 Operation YouTube

A mass upload of porn onto YouTube with tags such as MarbleCake, Jonas Brothers, and Hannah Montana. YouTube admins got really pissed off, lulz were had on a scale that surpassed 9,000, and Rules 1 and 2 were broken on several occasions by trolls and newfags, several of which were interviewed by the BBC.

• Article about how the craigslist troll was sued. (link)

• Part of the Jessica Valenti article is quoted in an interview with the subject (in The Guardian and on u.tv)

• Cracked article cites and quotes multiple ED articles as part of a review of of five wikis other than TOW. link

June

• 6/15/2009 Brad McQuaid resurfaces after the whole Vanguard drama-fest.
• 6/25/2009 Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett die on the same fucking day.
• 6/28/2009 BILLY MAYS DIES.

July

• 7/1/09 Karl Malden is kaputt.

August

• 8/25/09 Ted Kennedy dies from brain cancer, thus continuing the family tradition of HNNNNNNGGGGG.

September

• 9/9/09 Anonymous Ausfags get butthurt over the Australian internet censorship so they DDos the PM's website.
• 9/14/09 Patrick Swayze also HNNNNNNGGGGGs from cancer.

October

• 10/9/09 The Most useless Nobel Peace Prize was given to Obama for no fucking reason. At least Al Gore had a god damn PowerPoint.
• 10/12/09 Director Roman Polanski gets v& for being a pedofag
• 10/16/09 Half of America stops and stares at a silver balloon as they get fuckin own'd by a 6 year old troll
• 10/26/09 A shitty MMORPG starts using tits to advertise their site
• Date Unknown, 6 members of the Church of the Almighty Dollar get v& for doing what they do best

November

• 11/6/09 Military soldiers are shot and killed by Arab man.

See also

• ED in the news
• 2008
• 2007
• 2006
• 2005
• 2004
• 2003
• 2002
• 2001
• 2000
• 1990s
• 1980s
• At least 100 years ago