EHarmony

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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eHarmony is a ghey dating site only for Republicans, residents of the flyover states, and deeply closeted fags. Holdup no fags allowed

If you are liberal, a Jew, do not shop at Wal-Mart, like sex any other way than through the special sheet with the hole cut in it, or don't support the troops, eHarmony's advanced personality test will detect you as a heathen and refuse to grant you access to the site's vast pool of IRL lolcows.

This is a fact. It is actually true.

eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process.

We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish happy, lasting relationships that we sometimes choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.

Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.

Note: The user who wrote the above fails at life and registered on eHarmony to finally meet a girl, only to be rejected by an automated internet service. GG. Faggot. Fail. Fail. Fail.

[edit] See Also

• Plenty of Fish
• Dying Alone