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EQ2Flames

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EQ2Flames is a rather large forum-based fansite dedicated to a quite popular MMORPG, EverQuest II. Run by LFG, it is filled to the brim with drama, goons, /b/tards, trolls, and furries. Geez, I wonder what else that sounds like? There are many sections on the site where the players discuss the game, IRL shit, call people out, guilds, and get those pesky Chinese bot farmers banned. The site also often hosts contests where one can earn IRL jew goldz for submitting screencaps of discovering the ancient sword of what-the-fuck-ever or a famous raid guild leader being retarded. (Redundant, amirite?)

Using this Legends of Norrath card, you can attack a fat Feir'Dal with four black cocks. SOE really, really loves nigger cocks.
Using this Legends of Norrath card, you can attack a fat Feir'Dal with four black cocks. SOE really, really loves nigger cocks.
They also have great grammar.
They also have great grammar.

Contents

[edit] The Forum Sections

  • General Gameplay: This is where people who play overpowered classes complain about being nerfed while they’re still the best in the game, complain about the GMs, complain about unfair banning for calling a GM a “cockfuckslutcunt” when caught exploiting, or brag about a God being killed.
  • Tradeskill and Home Décor: When you want to take a break from mass killings of furries and dragons, you can build a home and decorate it to your heart’s content and share it with the forums! Also, this is where the crafters grumble about their shit being nerfed (again.)
  • Player vs. Player Issues: “FUKKEN CATS, NERF CAT TOTEMS” “NECROMANCERS ARE BROKEN FUCK” “AERILIK ARE U EVEN PAYING ATTENTION?!”
  • Legends of Norrath: Basically, the same as Pokemon or Magic cards, except with EverQuest characters. SOE likes to flood the chats ingame about upcoming tournaments, which angers people who don't care about the cards.
  • Noob Questions: Don’t want to lurk moar? Ask here.
  • Forum General Information: Vote for the hottest camwhore, lulziest screencap, biggest pwn, ugliest furfag, or you can enter and win cash!
  • Information and Resources: The only drama-less part of the forums. Players can access guides here to further progress their quest of discovering the ancient sword of what-the-fuck-ever, taking a screencap of it, and going to Las Vegas to party with Antonia Bayle cosplayers.
EQ2 dev Kimbial and Julie the intern.
EQ2 dev Kimbial and Julie the intern.
  • Farmer’s Almanac: Help ban the Asian platfarmers who generally annoy the fuck out of everyone! If you play on a PVP server, kill them and post pix.
  • Your Guild Sucks: Is that raiding guild full of a bunch of pretentious retards? Scrub PVP guild that attempts to raid the opposing city all the time and fails? Find an unfunny guild name? This and other related shit is contained here.
  • Rate-a-Retard: Callout threads, where you’re supposed to provide as much evidence as possible that the person you are calling out is a retard. It’s like an ED article; the moar info, the better. If the thread is extremely epic, it will land in the Hall of Flames.
  • Class Discussion: Every single class complains about being nerfed, being overshadowed by their evil or good counterpart, complain that their epic weapon isn’t shiny enough, or just whine in general that they can’t kill heroic red mobs in five seconds. Especially the rangers. The fucking rangers.
How NPU got their strats to defeat Trakanon.
How NPU got their strats to defeat Trakanon.
Weegee visits Rhoslyn. Sniff!
Weegee visits Rhoslyn. Sniff!

[edit] The Server Forums

While there are many servers with their corresponding forums on EQ2Flames, only a handful are actually worth mentioning for now.

  • Antonia Bayle: One of the lands where the roleplayers romp and play. And by romp and play I mean cybersex and cause drama about who's elf bitch is who's.
  • Lucan D'Lere: Same exact shit as AB, except slightly less drama.
  • Vox: The roleplaying PVP server that nobody gives two shits about. Nagafags raided their forums once, until LFG told them to cut that shit out.
  • Befallen and Faydark: This is where you get your dose of PvP without ever killing another player. Here, one can browse this section for heaps upon heaps of JB, recruit for their brand-new raiding guild (a strict rule of Befallen is that everyone must create their own raiding guild, EVERYONE,) or discuss the term "wigger." Of the PVE sections, it's the most popular, mostly because of Miroh's crap and the JB pictures located in the spam thread that Calbiyum spews on. Caturday runs free and wild, along with mod wars that sometimes get threads locked when LFG feels like it. Also, sniff. A lot of Befalleners claim that their server sucks and never does anything when in reality they're just too fucking lazy to do anything other than duel in Sinking Sands and troll each other to the point of archiving fucking everything.
An actual screenshot of the Befallen raiding community
An actual screenshot of the Befallen raiding community
  • Nagafen: It’s like Befallen and Faydark, except the players here are the children of Befallenfags and other PVE players (and later verified!) or WoW refugees that dislike the draconian laws the GMs use in that game. When you are killed in PVP, it is required that you whine about it on the forums. That’s why the Nagafen section has so many posts – most of them have no content and are just complete off-topic spewed memes among other bullshit. Eventually too many jokes about British people and their teeth led LFG to assign Talonis to become a mod there, and he banned multiple posters who dubbed themselves the Nagafen Seven. After a unanimous vote, Faabio has replaced Talonis as mod. The faggotry level is still the same though. It’s like if Befallen, 4chan, and YTMND all took a dump somewhere and didn’t clean it up.
  • Unrest: Something Awful goons love this server. They also claim that the drama of Unrest never sleeps. Seeing as how over 200+ of Unrest players are goons, one could agree with them.
  • Guk: This is a server with a really disgusting name. It's also home of Ne Plus Ultra, a guild that devs are in, and eventually, out of frustration, gave out the strats to defeat Trakanon. Either that or sexual favors were in included.


[edit] Types of Posters

Like many forums, EQ2Flames has an assortment of different kinds of posters. Each faction seems to dislike each other, and therefore, are the cause of many flame wars, especially in the General Gameplay section.

  • Casuals: These posters are players who don't play all day and all night, and usually have some days where they do not play at all! This confounds other types of players, since MMORPGs are life to them. They may raid, but not nearly as often, and therefore do not get the super uber gear that the raiders get.
  • Raiders/Hardcore: As for these guys, they won't fucking shut up about the content in EQ2. Looking at EQ2Flames as a whole, you'd probably think that everyone hated the game, but when confronted about it, they retort on how they like EQ2, but hate SOE. Who doesn't? Usually they bitch about the casual players, and how SOE is spoonfeeding them content, whereas the opposing side says the opposite.
  • PVPers: Player-versus-player fans. While these can be a mix of either hardcore or casual players, these types tend to congregate on the Nagafen server, and to a lesser extent, Vox or Venekor. They seem to hate bluebies, but many of them still are a fan of PVE content, which could make them hypocritical, but they don't care. If you tell them this, they'll just shout "BLUEBIE!" and go back to their little guild circle-jerk about Shard of Hate or something.
  • PVEers: Player-versus-environment fans. Eternally despised by PVP players, they prefer not to be chased around by 14 year-olds calling each other "fag" all the time. In one way, who could blame them? On the other hand, this could make them pussies for being able to go AFK and not get murdered by level eighties all the time. Sometimes, there are strange hybrids of PVE and PVP players running around, who are somewhat-accepted by PVErs, but hated even more by PVPers than the pure PVE players.
  • Quitters: They quit. They hate EQ2 to pieces, but still post on a forum about it. Normally, they complain about content that they left a long time ago, post hype about whatever new MMO is going to be released soon, such as Age of Conan or RuneScape or whatever the fuck. Some of these quitters actually liked EQ2, but quit out of hatred of SOE - read the LFG versus Grimwell incident to learn why.

[edit] EQ2Flamers

EQ2Flames includes a colorful and diverse cast of characters, from idiots to intelligent people, from /b/tards to goons, from the Wapanese to guys who are really fucking obsessed with Star Wars. While there is a large amount of members, a few of the most significant ones will be mentioned here.

NO WIGGER PLZ.
NO WIGGER PLZ.
Fursecution!
Fursecution!
Matin throws a fit.
Matin throws a fit.
Adamperson imitates Slowpoke and fails.
Adamperson imitates Slowpoke and fails.
  • LFG: The admin of the site, as if you haven't fucking guessed that already. Nobody knows LFG's true age; some say he dates back to the American Civil War, while others claim he's 37. Known for giving up his PVE lifestyle, joining the Nagafen server, then quitting MMOs entirely to pursue IRL endeavors, and falling asleep while receiving a blowjob, LFG gets a lot of hell from his own forum members and SOE themselves. If LFG even moderates the forum even slightly, many of the trolls will cry "NAZI!!!" but will back him up if SOE dare touch him. Besides doing obvious things such as posting porn or shock images, it is generally hard to get banned by LFG, and sometimes he has polls up for the community to vote whether to keep a retard banned or not. He also likes this article!
And capes were bought.
And capes were bought.
Lord Pants enjoys his pudding.
Lord Pants enjoys his pudding.
  • Niber: Niber is the secretive co-owner of EQ2Flames. He does all the technical stuff, because LFG is an incredible noob at said technical stuff. Niber usually prefers to remain behind the scenes. Not much is known about him except that he really, really likes sports.
  • Gaige: LFG's BFF. Extremely notorious in EQ2Flames for creating a thread dedicated to a guild called Ethereal Legacy, and titled it "An Ode to Fucking Losers." Ethereal Legacy made really shitty strats to defeat the three princes, the Matron, and some sort of turtle-dragon from China. That thread was what made EQ2Flames big. Then, he started the Gaige versus Dissolution thread, where he achieved fame and notoriety for posting a picture of his erect penis achieving orgasm with a girl's face next to it. Public outcry following that post resulted in the "no porn" rule on the forums. Gaige is also the spokes person for Autism equality, suffering from this crippling disability himself, he strives to fight for the little man.
  • Snark: His username says it all. He'll snark you, and snark you good, if you ever do something retarded. More details in the LFG versus Grimwell incident below. Snark has a really squeaky voice that he gets made fun of for.
  • Pinski: The former guild leader of Dissolution, Pinski probably has the best knowledge of EQ2 game mechanics of any living person, EQ2 devs included. He posts with a dry sense of humor and mercilessly eviscerates noobs who get out of line. He does not forgive.
  • Illuminator: He and Pinski don't see eye to eye at all. He's known to get more Chinese plat-farmers banned than everyone else in the game combined. He also suggested the class discussion forums, which brought in teh traffic and jew gold.
  • Miroh: While is was banned (he asked for it,) Miroh was is known on EQ2Flames for trolling Befallen and eventually Nagafen also. Then the wigger drama came up, and once Miroh used that magic word, he was suspended for three days. Then he left. Disregard that, he's back, and provides the screencaps that further shows that Matin is a retard.
  • Faabio: Also known as Shax, ever since the GMs nerfed his original name, Faabio/Shax is apparently a gay furry or a troll. Nobody can tell which one's the truth. He also loves PVP, and will bash "bluebies" at every chance he gets. He is on the cutting edge of MS paint signatures and considered the number one artist of his time. He has won basically every single contest on EQ2Flames because of e-popularity. Faabio has also gotten many items nerfed in his time including the legendary Gnomish spring boots and Rhoadillas necklace. Faabio is often obsessed with fat chicks but is known to love cocks. There are no published photos of him although he is speculated to be about 15.
  • Gilgame: He is the one responsible for getting Faabio's name nerfed into Shax. Nagafen also blames everything on him. Everything. WTC? Check. Scientology? Check.
  • Popsi: He quit the game and said he was nevar posting again, but guess what? He posted again. He's also British, and has he often posts YouTube videos which the Nagafen community enjoys. Then again, Nagafags enjoy just about everything.
  • WinWin: While she once had a "Rate-a-Retard" thread dedicated to her, it was deleted because it was based solely off the fact that she was once male. WinWin is actually one of the more intelligent posters on EQ2Flames, and so the thread was trashed.
  • Ratface: AdamPerson's partner in crime, and also known as Peak. Obsessed with fortune and Soulja Boy, he prefers to troll the hell out of city-faction players on the Nagafen boards, while AdamPerson spreads out his trollage all around.
  • coltsfancolts/Balbasur: Also known as Matin. Matin is like 10 years old IRL and got b& from EQ2 once for swearing in a public channel. Smedley let him go after Matin begged him via email. The email mentioned that Matin plays the game to get away from his poor family life, including his "brother who has autistic." He's also butthurt by this text. Recently, he got banned again for spamming unintelligent shit (as usual.)
  • Lord Pantz: Lord Pantz hates PvPers for some unknown reason. He's a fat slob in real life and eats lots of pudding. He plays in a guild with the dev Aeralik who gives him strats.
  • Poxx: A Norwegian Satanic metalhead who only plays as the Ratonga because they're the superior race, and hates emo faggots. He also complains often and is difficult to have discussions with, and switches servers all the time. He looks just like Toki Wartooth of Metalocalypse.
  • Pink Poodle: Known as Rhoslyn on the Befallen server, and Imtithal on the Nagafen server, Pink Poodle seems innocent and sweet and kind, but can be a babbling troll like the other posters mentioned above. Known for starting the awareness ribbon fad with other posters.
  • Nosaj: The master of archiving and screencaps. He also berates Befallen a lot, because Befallen is like Slowpoke. He spawns the more recent drama of Befallen.

[edit] The Most Epic Threads of EQ2Flames

Of course, EQ2Flames has a plethora of amazing threads which exhibit people that are poster children for abortions and are upset when they learn that on EQ2Flames, you cannot hide your evidence AT ALL. And what is displayed below is just the tip of the iceberg. Read on, folks!

Ritul IRL.
Ritul IRL.
Reinkaos tells us that he is a Pagan and does not spend money on bling and shit like that.
Reinkaos tells us that he is a Pagan and does not spend money on bling and shit like that.
  • HaloChaos: Yet another romance-related thread, except this time it was about Keigo, who had sex with HaloChaos' wife IRL AB Server Drama! Keigo said that HaloChaos (also known as Shintou) was causing the drama because he's a fucking retard, while HaloChaos says otherwise. At the time of the post, HaloChaos and his wife were still married. Keigo attempted to defend himself and said that HaloChaos threatened suicide often and didn't take his medication. HaloChaos returns with that he has been taking the medication and he does have a mental disorder, which both he and his wife knows. The wife, Jen, slowly became upset with him and went seeing Keigo instead, and had sex with him because she's stupid. HaloChaos then joined a guild that they were all in, not knowing that the couple had sex. After learning of this HaloChaos went completely batshit, left the guild and flamed everyone. Then, HaloChaos brought up that Keigo lives off of his parents' money and should go to college instead of leading raids and jacking off to furry porn all the damn time. Later, the thread was moved into the Hall of Flame for being totally confusing, WTF-filled, and dramatic.
This is Reinkaos. Hail Satan!
This is Reinkaos. Hail Satan!

Some clan had a meet in Las Vegas, clan leader's wife sleeps with members of the said clan. Guy calls her and posts topless shots etc. She denies it, posts pics of her topless on a bed with another guy with a ring on. PWNAGE.

  • Reinkaos: Like Faabio, this guy appears to be something completely offensive. Except here, Reinkaos is a complete retard about it. He really, really, hates jews, claimed to be permabanned from the game for being racist (when he was just trying to get attention, he still plays!) and tries to prove that whites are oppressed in America. But that's not all! He claims he is a goth model, has a huge house, worships Odin, has a hot Swedish wife, wears black eyeliner, owns two pet wolves, is part of a black metal band, and is of German descent. (He is probably a fan of the Hal Turner show.) He called LFG an old man, when it turns out that both Reinkaos and LFG are 37 years old. After the EQ2Flamers did their searching, it was revealed that Reinkaos is actually a chubby guido. He also has more than one thread where he got annihilated by even the bluebies.

[edit] The LFG versus Grimwell Incident

On March 10, 2008, the administrator of EQ2Flames, LFG, received this email from Grimwell:

 
“ 		 
It has always been the goal of our Influencers Program to embrace people who represent a diverse range of opinions about SOE and our games. The expectation we have for each Influencer is that they will provide open and honest feedback that we can consider or act on as a company. It is understandable that decisions made by SOE will not always be to the liking of every Influencer, and that constructive feedback from participants will enable us to better relate with our communities over the long term.

Your passion and enthusiasm for EverQuest II have always been appreciated, but your own activities in the last few months have led us to the conclusion that it is time for your participation in this program to end. You have been all but silent through the many channels of communication provided by the Influencers program; eliminating any benefit that your voice might bring to our attention in the service of the community.

At the very same time you have actively encouraged many ‘sensational’ issues to come to the attention of your community at EQ2Flames, even when those issues lacked merit. Additionally, you have abused your personal access to members of our development teams, with no regard to the harm it might cause them in the process.

For these reasons, we are ending your participation in our Influencers program. We appreciate the feedback you have given us when you chose to do so; but it is time for this relationship to end.

Please remember that any private information you were exposed to as a member of the Influencers Program is still protected by the non-disclosure agreement you signed when first joining the program."
 

„
 

—Grimwell; pissing off a community that has proven to be almost as lethal as anon;)

Grimwell fapping nonexistent dick.
Grimwell fapping nonexistent dick.
Grimwell tells LFG "lol, bai!" - and a shitstorm brewed forth.
Grimwell tells LFG "lol, bai!" - and a shitstorm brewed forth.

No doubt has this angered the masses of EQ2Flamers. Even those who nerdraged against LFG for banning the N-word and mentions of 2girls1cup, and the whole 10bux thing to get rid of the annoying ads rose up and immediately either: a) cancelled their accounts, b) made "support EQ2Flames" avatars and signatures, c) mentioned EQ2Flames in their characters' names or characters' pets' names, or d) kept the (LFG) tag up ingame. This even provoked Snark to post the dox of many devs and GMs, including the non-retarded ones. Digg, 4chan, Fark, and other internets sites learned about this event in a short amount of time, and we all once again realize that we should never fuck around with nerds.

While the dox sparked moar controversy within EQ2Flames, especially in an argument between Legion and Adamperson in which Legion said, "This is not 4chan, and you are NOT Anonymous," there was still much lulz to be had.

[edit] Dousing of the Flames?

Near the end of May, EQ2Flames stopped working. Nobody knows why, and nobody has been able to contact Niber or another higher-up of the site just yet. Many hope that the site will be put back up soon, or, at least, a similar site. The reason why? For the lulz, and not much else. DISREGARD THAT, an explosion in ThePlanet, a Texas server-hosting provider, knocked over 9000 (I shit you not) servers offline, including EQ2Flames.

[edit] How to Troll EQ2Flames

Obviously, every forum can (and will) be trolled in various ways. Provided below are some ways to troll EQ2Flames. Many are contradicting, but then again, this is EQ2Flames. Were you expecting anything to make sense?

  • Say something positive about SOE.
  • Say something positive about the game itself. (Conversely, saying that certain aspects of EQ2 suck will also bring about butthurt.)
  • Hell, just enjoy EQ2 in general.
  • Bitch about EQ2 all the time. Extra points if you still have an account, or have quit for a while and have bitched about it longer than your total game time.
  • Mention that Warhammer, Age of Conan, or whatever-new-MMORPG will rock or suck.
  • When asked if you will quit EQ2 for a different MMO, say that no, you're sticking with EQ2.
  • Ask for more moderation for the PVP forums.
  • Say that WoW is harder than EQ2.
  • Mention anything about Vanguard.
  • Make your signature size too big.
  • Tell them that the Gaia Online battle system will be the best thing ever.
  • If you're a dev, mention that a new feature will have all raid content include difficulty options,

enabling casuals to get fabled and even mythical gear.

  • Praise LFG.
  • Berate LFG.
  • Make fun of Ron Paul.
  • Upon signing up, do not include character, server, and guild information with your profile. These are displayed with every post anyone makes, and generally let other posters know that you're not an anonymous pussy. Even if you do not play the game, most people should at least include that in there. However, if you're trolling, just leave it blank. Srsly.
  • Make fun of EQ2 players who died irl to bring attention to the fact that you fail at life and everything and like to smoke the cock.

Do any of the above, even if you have no idea what the fuck it means, and you are guaranteed nerd rage in return.

[edit] EverQuest 3

One of the oldest ways to troll EQ2Flames, and MMORPG players in general, is to mention EverQuest III. This was started by Allakhazam, on April 1, 2007. Here is the infamous forum post on the official EQ2 forums. While this happened over a year ago, and many recognized the screenshots from Oblivion, many people still fall for this shit. When retards make posts about it, the posts are sent straight to the Carebear Corner, which is basicaly the Comedy Gas Chamber if you're familiar with Something Awful.

[edit] A Typical PVP Video

Note the usage of Linkin Park music and dramatic shit.

[edit] See Also

[edit] Links


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