Ebonics

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

This is a clear indication of a Class VI infection of The Black.

Ebonics, better known as "nigger speak", is a language spoken by middle-class white boys, many of them 13 year old boys, in an effort to convince others that they are not middle-class white boys. They are said to have been infected by The Black.

THIS IS HOW WE DO, NIGGA.

The Ebonics language is taught as part of the curriculum, as a foreign language, in California schools.

Although its origins are uncertain, there is scientific evidence from the future that Ebonics really comes from people trying to speak English with a French accent, but only funnier and cooler (in their minds, which still belong to the Matrix).

[edit] E-bonics

A variation of the above in which is combined with leetspeak to even worse effect. This results in screen names like ThugL1f34Eva, B1tch514pp3r and Undaprivilegedminorit33.

[edit] Ebonics Translation

When Confronted After Stealing A Pair of Shoes
Standard: Excuse me, but I purchased these shoes at my local footwear retailer, and I'll thank you very much to keep quiet about how I obtained them.
Ebonics: CSSSH NIGGA I BOUGHT DEAZ MAD NICE SHOES!!

When asking a girl on a date
Standard: Would you like to go out sometime?
Ebonic: *there is no translation, as niggers do not engage in foreplay, or any sort of mating ritual, in most cases, the male will forcibly rape the female.*

After Being Denied To Borrow Some Cash
Standard: You don't have it? Thanks anyway.
Ebonics: *BLAP BLAP*

When Threatened
Standard: You had better relax or I will be forced to defend myself
Ebonics: WUT DA FUCK DID YOU SAY TO ME?! *to fellow nigger in the background* DID YOU HURR WHA DAT NIGGA SAID TO ME? HE BETTER STEP BACK DAWG OR I'LL BUST A CAP IN HIS MOTHAFUCKIN AZZ!!

When confronting someone who is lying
Standard: Please you're such a Liar! If you persist I will leave.
Ebonics: Cut da truck Nigga before I drop your raggy ass like a spoon. DUM DUM DIDDAY!

When attempting to sing
Standard: My frozen dairy treat brings all the male gender to the grassy area in the front of my residence. They say it is superior to yours. Yes, they are correct, it is far superior than yours. I could pass along this knowledge, but there would be a fee.
Ebonics: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, they're like, it's better than yours, damn right its better than yours, I could teach you, but I'd have to charge.

Other Translations:
Standard: Whatever.
Ebonics: PSSHHH

Standard: I find that girl quite visually pleasing, do you not agree?
Ebonics: I WUNN GET DAT HOE U KNO WHAT IM SAYIN MUH NIGGA??!?!

Standard: Hello, friend!
Ebonics: WUZZZ GOOD, NIGGA?!

Standard: I think I will use my good credit for this loan.
Ebonics: NNUGA I NEED THEMS DUCKETS WATCHU MEENN "FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS?" YUALL RACISTS MOTHAFUCKS

Standard: Hello
Ebonic: SUP MAH NIG!

Standard: I win!
Ebonics: BRAP BRRAPPPPPPP BRAP