Edward
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| STOP. User J-Kwon was banned from ED for the period of one year simply for creating this horrible article that has nothing to do with internets OR awesome. Make the same mistake and you will face the same punishments. Let his severed head be put upon a spike to warn others who come after. |
It takes one face to change the world, and i hope i can change the world - Edward
Edward was born in Austria in 1984. Not much is known about his early years, but there are some reports of him at a young age, some of which state he started World War 1 by pwning that Austrian son of a bitch Franz Ferdinand, who later became a band that sucked more dick than Sir Lancelot with a rolo bar. He assasinated Ferdinand by hypnotizing him into thinking Rosie O'Donell was after him, which led Franz to suicide.
[edit] His cult following
In 1973, Edward formed the town of Edwardton, which was neighbored by the town of Jonestown, Guyana. Many followed Edward into this area, including some famous people:
- Elmo
- Terri Schiavo
- All of Devo
- Stevie Wonder
- Philton
- Kurt Cobain
- Jessica Alba
- The Boston strangler
- The whole cast of Cheers
- Jerry Seinfeld
- Chris Farley
- all of Somalia
- Elvis
- Dick Tracy
After that, they all grew their own vegetables, harvested lots of cows, and made appearences on television. At one point, all of the Edwardtons went into nearby Jonestown and spiked their Kool-Aid and they all got pwnd
[edit] Places Edward has been
- Somalia
- Peru
- Harvard
- The Weatherwoman's house
- Hell
- Madagascar (twice)
- The beach
- On television
- On a wife killing spree
- Australia
- He marched down Washington
- Jerusalem
Edward has been to other places since he is now on the run for commiting a felony, and is a suspect for shooting Tupac and John F. Kennedy.
[edit] Info on his whereabouts
If you know where Edward is at this very moment, call this number:
- 001-613-730-6057
or go here.
this is the best article in the world - Ann Coulter
