Edward Elric

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Hi, I'm Ed on the netz because I'm ultimately obsessed with shitty anime characters and dream about stuffing them in little frilly dresses and doing them in the ass.

This article is about a furry piece of shit. If you're searching for the faggot protagonist with a dildo arm, then see Fullmetal Alchemist.

Edward Elric is a female who likes to turn perfectly good anime characters into nekos and then write fan-fiction about them doing each other in the ass, putting it on Fanfiction.net. Her nickname is derived from the main character of Fullmetal Alchemist - Edward Elric - and uses it to roleplay sexing up a similarly neko Envy.

One of Elric's fantasies.

It's a surprise that the dumbass even gets the chance to have her way with furry fantasies and still get off, but people love to use her for her money, which she gets from practically shoving her hands in old people shit from working at a nursing home. Even then, she spends all of it on Furcadia, because she just has to have all the most expensive pixels available. Because of this, she complains that she never has any money whatsoever. Whenever she owes her friends money, she doesn't ever bother to pay them. She's always in debt to somebody, no matter who it is. And her excuse? She doesn't have enough money to do it. No fucking duh. And speaking of Furcadia, all the little pixels she likes to have of her gay male furries are usually of them dressed up women's clothing. She tends to claim that this is perfectly fucking normal. Just like her obsession for shelling out over $300 dollars for a pixelized name. A motherfucking name on a pathetic game that's for total losers.

Aside from loving the chance to rip copyright characters from anime, she likes to drag in little girls to be her 'girlfriend', but all she ever really uses them for is yaoi induced roleplay. She can't ever keep a girlfriend for a long time either - she probably hasn't kept one for more than 3 months. After breaking up with an old ex-girlfriend of hers, she ranted for days about being used for money and called herself a 'cashcow'. She's definitely a cow alright.

1 The Furcadian Life: Edward
2 Rantings, Bitchings, Angstings and Whinings
3 Alt Theft and lulz
4 Roleplay
5 URGENT ALERT SOUND DA BELLS
6 OBSESSION? WHAT!!!
7 Moar "Art"
8 Anime is for virgins
9 External Links

[edit] The Furcadian Life: Edward

Edward's ultimate description.

Because she's so lonely, she's forced to spend most of her time doing nothing but sitting her pixel ass around on Furcadia. Here, she fakes a life where she thinks she's absolutely happy, but really, she has the saddest life known to man. Here, she picks up little girls to be her new 'Envy', every time she gets another ex. Each time she breaks up with them, she makes a bigass fuss and throws a huge hissy fit, but then eventually makes up with the ex and becomes good friends with them.

Things similar to this have happened where one of her ex's parents feared for their daughter's safety when they found out she was dating someone on the netz. At one point in time, she wanted to visit one of her girlfriends all the way in another country. And another girl she dumped without the girl's notice, because the girl was gone for too long, and that she couldn't wait any longer. And here she was claiming she could wait forever for the one she loves.

Yes, that's very appealing. Guys in dresses, with lovely crotchshots, no less.

And it isn't just Edward and Envy that are in her possession - she has the rest of the 7 Deadly Sins, a bunch of other FMA characters, and probably more. Aside from Edward and Envy, she has a fetish for couplings such as Gluttony x Greed and Ivan x Fletcher. Along with that, she enjoys shoving boys into frilly little girly dresses.

Do not assume that Edward spends all of her sad Furcadian life humping little boys though. She apparently thinks she's a ninja, meaning that she can actually hide on Furcadia with secret accounts! Hell, Toboe, Hige to name a few.

[edit] Rantings, Bitchings, Angstings and Whinings

Being the bitch that she is, Edward has the ultimate fetish in arguing and ranting at any chance that she can, when in truth, she can't fucking argue her way out of a building. She also loves to shove her nose into things that don't concern her and she has no clue about. Her methods of attacking people usually consist of typing up a huge lecture (that usually goes around in circles over and over again for about 30 paragraphs), and then claiming that she's too busy to reply.

She also has a favorite tendency in being a hypocrite. She points out other's flaws, when she does the same thing. She likes to think that other people are absolute losers with no life whatsoever, when she's spending most of her time with her $500 piles of pixels. She absolutely loves to rant to her so-called friends as well.

She thinks that anyone who disagrees with her is either jealous or stupid, no matter how wrong she is.

Yes, we're all obsessed with you.

You'd think from all the long ranting and bitching at nothing in particular, she'd have the smarts to do a tl;dr on her damn rants. Here's a tip for those who do what she does; tl;dr - I'm a fucking bitch with nothing better to do but be an ass to you.

In one of her more recent shows of her lack of mental health and fragile emotional state, sources claim that Edward went on yet another five million paragraph rant, all because she takes the internet too seriously.

“	Only thing I am going to say to you, because you're a fucking useless sack of shit is you need to take a fucking knife and go kill yourself. You're the BIGGEST bitchcunt I ever met. A raging one on wheels at that. Not to mention you're sickengly obsessed with me because you CONSTANTLY talk about me. Poke at me as well as make your retarded, lame ass comments. Do us all a favor and go die. Seriously. No one gets beneath my skin like you, and you're the ONLY one at current I wish death on. The sooner you fucking end your life, the better. Oh and don't bother whispering back you stupid cuntrag. Because I don't wish to waste my time further on a useless whore as you.	„
—Edward's ultimate display of maturity

Notice the typos and over use of the world cunt, sounds like that time of the month for Edward's dried up cooch. Remember, if you ever point out how wrong Edward is she'll claim you're obsessed with her.

To prove to the world that she is so "hardcore" and tough, Edward or whoever licks Edward's fat ass at the moment have come up with a new method to prove she doesn't care and is tough. On Furcadia, the place she spends all of her hard earned money to have the pixel power she lacks irl, she likes to stick the alts she spent goo gobs of money on near people who piss her off! Yes, she keeps her computer on line, spends money to keep characters around that contain her inane ranting. Because that really proves she's not psycho, right?

“	RULES FOR AI 1) ABSOLUTELY NO TOLLERANCE OF FURFAGS! 2) ABSOLUTELY NO TOLLERANCE FOR FURFAGS! 3) NO &$!?ING DRAMA! 4) ABSOLUTELY NO TOLLERANCE OF DRAMAFAGS! 5) ??? 6) PROFIT!!! [GTFO. no one cares for your opinions.] eDrama sucks &$!?ng balls. So shut your &$!?ing mouth and stop being dramafags. You know who you are. Anyone who makes/edits/contributes to ED is a lame, pussy wanking queerfag that can't fight their own battles and uses shoddy methods to jab someone rather then get your hands soiled. Stop being sociopathic and gtfo off the intarwebz because it's SUM SRS BIZNEZ!	„
—Edward, totally not butthurt by ED.

Because apparently it's really cool to play a furry game, spend hundreds of dollars on a furry game, RP on a furry game but call everyone else furfags. Also note the editing ED comment...coming from someone who sticks alts around, leaves their computer on 24/7 to do it and tries to insult people via a description not to mention also edits ED herself (or has her imaginary friends do it) to combat the "fags" she claims to "not care about." If she perhaps got out of her house more often other than to buy underage yaoi mags maybe she'd see no one really cares about her e-rants and they only really make herself look psycho. Then again, she'd have to turn off the computer for that one. (On a side note, for someone that really hates theft, this really cool person stole the set of rules that someone else quickly wrote up for a different purpose, as a description, copied here: RULES OF THE FIREPIT 1) ABSOLUTELY NO TOLERANCE OF FURFAGS 2) ABSOLUTELY NO TOLERANCE FOR FURFAGS 3) NO FUCKING DRAMA 4) ABSOLUTELY NO TOLERANCE OF FURFAGS 5) ??? 6) PROFIT!!!)

[edit] Alt Theft and lulz

Edward is well known for parading and prancing herself to display what a fucking saint she is. On a well known Furcadia user site she makes it her own personal mission to take care of any port thefts or alt (username) theft, even if she has no idea what is going on. Unfortunately, she has torn her image.

One Christmas she had all of her alts in a dream. Someone, who had bought the alt Roy Mustang from her, commented on this. Edward proceeded to rant for around twenty minutes since she was insulted. Later that night, it was reported missing. Edward had harassed the original owner to report Roy Mustang missing, and then proceeded to buy the alt off of her once again.

Edward once bought an alt from someone only to never pay them for it. The owner of the alt took it back. It created lots of lulz on the Furcadia Alt Market, where she proved that typing fast and screaming will get your point across clearly as the following quote demonstrated:

Nope. That's bullshit. Koi is mine and I am teh sole logger for the last six months. She's mine. And SHE TRADED ME YAOI BACK. Regardless. I want Koi and I AM getting her. I don't like liars. 'And this was MONTHS BACK she gave me back Yaoi. MONTHS. Ciro can CONFIRM hjow long I've HAD Koi.

Also while trying to convince someone else she was innocent as seen here, we find out that Edward has children.

SHE IS MY ALT EDS FUCKING IC DAUGHTER TOO Nyyyggghhh

Oh wait, not IRL children.

Her most recent theft, or in her world "misunderstanding" was noted in a thread on Furcadia Alt Market (now deleted), a prime example of how Edward makes everything under the sun about herself, she avoids the fact that she actually scammed someone by saying she's having "emotional stress" which apparently stopped her from paying $10 to clear something. A funny thing coming from someone who would sell what little soul she had for any FMA alt or any alt dealing with yaoi gay boys.

[edit] Roleplay

A great wrong has been done.

Even more of her money is wasted on a pair of websites for her favorite two characters of all time - Edward and Envy. As she states on Edward's website, she will not use Edward to yiff with anybody else, unless their character has Envy in their name. That totally leaves the chance open to any noob whoever wanted to hook up with the bimbo.

She's also a thesaurus thumper, but her skills definitely don't show. She fails to use words properly, and even spells the simplest of words wrong. Even when she goes on rants, all she can do is use caps and go the fastest possible, giving her so many chances to fuck up her spelling. In fact, she even claims she's going to call the authorities about the shitcyclone her internet drama brought onto her.

[edit] URGENT ALERT SOUND DA BELLS

Apparently this page is under attack, oh noes! Ed-tard or one of her yaoi fangirl cock sucking friends apparently do not like the truth of about Ed's insanity being known! On a daily basis they edit this page to remove the proof of Edward's psycho behaviour and her scamming of people on Furcadia. Be warned!!

[edit] OBSESSION? WHAT!!!

Recently Edward decided to revoke the usage of an alt that was being traded from Envy to another player as a shared alt. She came up with this after she decided the player had a "hypocritical nature" and "furc obsession." Yet when confronted with the idea that Edward had a Furcadia obsession, she denied it up and down! She even proceeded to call them "delisuions"! Obviously buying 2 of every life digo for over $100 each and not to mention spending $300 for a username is not obsessing! She then said that if her best friend wasn't sick, she wouldn't be on Furcadia. That doesn't explain the countless hours of yiffing her 19 year-old girlfriend up the ass and then shitting out babies with names like "Koi" and "Unschooled" (What, is the kid retarded?), even though both characters are boys! This can't be proven though because she avoided the question of 'how much money have you spent on furcadia?' when confronted by Kiyichichi- probably because she then realized that she's spent so much money on furcadia that she could have bought a mansion. So who's to know how much time she really spends on Furcadia! Thus it has been concluded that if you don't talk to Edward on a daily basis and you don't have 2 sets of every life digo available, you're obsessed with Furcadia and you need to get a life by working at a retirement home.