Emo

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Jump to: navigation, search
Crawling in mein skin...

Emo ("BAWWWWW") is a movement which is an attempt to make normal teenage angst cool (seriously, who tries to win a “my life sucks more than yours contest?”). While everyone around them is also suffering from hormones and High School, they try to convince everyone that their suffering is original somehow. To break away from normal suffering, followers of emo apply heavy eye-liner, wear overly tight jeans, enjoy large cock (not that they ever get any, unless they got a granddad), dye their hair black (don't forget to skip the shower) and grow a long fringe to help warp their vision of the world. This warped fringe vision causes the wearer to insult people who are actually depressed IRL by making a fad of feigning their own dire depression. Emo music consists of insane amounts of moaning about the greatness of being in emo style and the terror of not having hawt emo girl X want to fuck you. Some emo songs deviate slightly, encouraging male listeners to "Ahhh, c'mon, FUCK A GUY!"

Conclusive scientific evidence proves that emos are more hated than niggers, Jews, pig fuckers, faggots AND your mom combined. At concerts, emos stand in place and watch the band play with their arms crossed, tossing their hair out of their eyes and sucking on their stupid "snake bite" lip piercings and sucking other male emo penis.

They all suffer from severe narcissism, leading them to believe that they alone know what pain is, and that no one understands them, when in fact they are just experiencing puberty just like everyone else. They all believe that their affliction could not be worse, that their life in their quiet suburban house with their own television and computer in their room is the worst in the world.

In affect, an emo kid is a virgin twat who takes denial of his unattractiveness to a new extreme - instead of just manning up, playing sports, taking some social skills classes, etc, he turns walking around in Petsmart into personal pride. When a hot girl tells him to fuck off, instead of being pissed that he's not scoring, the average emofag is actually glad that he got rejected - since this must mean he's sensitive, more mature than other guys, or just special in general. If by some chance an emofag actually manages to get a date however, then he'll be pissed since he won't have any reason to bitch or play the victim that day.

The principle of emodom is "The more you bitch about no one liking you, the more no one will like you." Emos tend to cut themselves on the forearms just because it is the done thing for an emo. Unfortunately, emo's are the biggest pussies in the universe, so they just about never get it right.

Emos get tremendous shit in Mexico, where members of other Mexican subcultures are prone to beating up emos for the sole reason that their whiny, conformist faggotry makes them justifiable targets.

Contents


Origins

Emos (Latin for I buy) wear tight clothing due to the fact that they have sensitive, feminine skin passed down from their brother-dads and have a knack for bitching about that new car their rich dads DIDN'T get for them. They hide and want to be alone because they are too shy to contact anyone, which is partly contributed from the Jewish trait of fearing criticism. Also, they feel that their flaws are immediately visible from just their presence (another trait passed down from the Jews, who are very superficial people).

The emo is a crappy offshoot of goth, itself a crappy offshoot of punk,which is a crappy offshoot of metalhead, which is inferior to prep.

If an emo is or has either of the following, he or she will become more inclined to ending it all in a suicidal fashion:

Git 'em young

Even Gordon has his emoments
Typical emo faggot asking for it

In an interesting trend, young teenagers have begun adopting the emo mantra as their new Jesus, even though they will rarely cut themselves. They enjoy the thrill of straightening their rat's nest of hair pile of black hay straggly mop that rests atop their head and wearing tons of makeup to cover their pimple-ridden pubescent faces. They take black-and-white pictures of themselves and define themselves as "misunderstood" on their MySpace, Facebook, LiveJournal, Friendster or Bebo pages. Their usernames usually consist of serious descriptions of how they truly feel inside and are usually encased in a variety of symbols e.g. xXDarknessSurroundsXx, ^^)MyAngelCries(^^, X+LoveLikeFire+X. Many think that turning emo will instantly turn them hot.

The common path to emo generally follows these steps:

  1. They have a happy cheerful Carebear MySpace profile up until they're 12.
  2. One of their fat friends gets depressed and makes an emo MySpace.
  3. 12 year old friend sees this and goes OMG TAHTS SU KEWL!!11 and copies them.
  4. They straighten their disgusting hair wig that they haven't washed in 3 months, put on a lot of makeup and take pictures.
  5. Post with comments like "NOONE UNDERSTANDZ ME!!11 M I DESTIND 2 NEVR FYND LUV???"
  6. After getting a ton of attention saying "aww hunny dont wory im here 4 u :)", they start complaining about EVERYTHING.
  7. Become an hero.
 
 
i dont no any emos…! im the only 1 i no and i no every thing bout emo, i shud no… im so emo iv tryed 2 kill my self since i wuz 7
 

 

nic, please try harder

Current situation

The current incarnation of emo has basically replaced all other teenage culture (read gays and little/teenage girls who went crazy over the boybands) as the dominant one. The slightly faded "vintage" clothing and track suits are available at any mall and often displayed in tandem with the most mainstream wares. Because the accouterments and garb are very easy and cheap to obtain, it makes the style accessible to you. In earlier times emo was a generally male-dominated subculture with very few females observed at shows and events (mostly because all present looked like girls anyway). Now, however, due to the ease of obtainment of the requisite style items, many females have become involved in the subculture. Please see the gallery below for several illustrations of typical specimens. There may be no easily discernible differences between the standard teenager and someone involved in the emo scene.

Often, participants are referred to as "emo kids," "emofags," just "fags," or any combination of these. Rednecks often refer to the participants simply as "wrist-cuttin' hippies". Normal people often say that "emo" is short for "gay trannys that listen to bad music". Everyone else calls them "failures at life".

Emo kids are a common plague on sites such as MySpace, Facebook, Bebo and YouTube as these sites offer the perfect digital mediums for them to display their tormented souls to the world.

EmoTube

A beautiful poem from a special emo kid. [1]


Read. Learn, Change. alright , First of all. . . dude . . you dont kno me . Second of all , Change ur fucking backround picture. Thats fucking creppy. Third. . . you were the person. . wo made the 'emo' video Alright , I had people aasking me to do a video. So. . just because i said 4 WORDS? was it ? Dosent mean you have to do that . Alright , Stop. Im moving ANYWAYS.. so. i wont have youtube . or myspace, or facebook,. or anything else you can harrase me on . I just wanted to tell you. That, k Im SORRY i made the video I just got mad, that someone hated something for no reason, And, same with a lot of other people Why r u picking on a 16 year old ? Arent u old enough to realize. Thats wrong . and,I dont want someone having a backround, alking about my fucking boobs. Take it off, Or i will report you. I never did anything bad. But, say an opionon . If you though my vid was horrible, fuck, look at the other peoples videos about you. My was NOTHING compared to theres. Fucking look , you havent seen have the shit on myspace. Im not emo. Im not anything but a girl, in highschool . I dont respect what you did . Neither with my family , friends. and, a lot of youtubers. Youtube , is suppost to be about opion. Out of ANYONE. im sure you kno that . So, Dont go all bitch, If someone says theres I have a freedom of speech, i disided to use it . Cuz i think what your doing is wrong. It hurts people. Do u really wanna grow up knowing . You made a youtube. . just to insult peoples freedom of speech ? Do u really want to tell your childreen (if u have any then ) That you made a video of a 16 year old girl , WHO YEAH, IS GOING THROUGH A LOT OF BULLSHIT right now . Just to make it BETTER. I dont cut . I never have , never will. And, you aid something on your 'i hate emo vid' that upset me . because iv gone through it . And, i kno how hard it is. To make it better . You dont know, what i go through , And, I dont kno what u go through . thats why im not judging . I hope you can change your backround now. And, Stop hating on someone , yu dont even know. Thankyou, And,I hpe you choose to cooperate . If not. All reported. its called invansion of prifacy , stalking and bullying in canada. ps. . . you can get sued. So, Change it . Bye.

DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS

Image:Lt-grey.pngImage:Rt-grey.png

Previous Video  |  Next Video

Image:Lb-grey.pngImage:Rb-grey.png

stfu stfu STFU

The True Meaning of Being Emo

EXPAND FOR TRUE MEANING

Emo over the ages

Emo has had a long history in many forms, from the early Beatniks (named after the constant beatings they would receive) to today's contemporary emo kids:

ERA: EMO KIDS WERE: DRUG OF CHOICE:
1920's Flappers Shit, Dead Animals, Sweat, Reefers
1930's Everyone Hooch, Cough Medicine, Codeine
1940's Nazis Hitler, White Pride
1950's Beatniks Poetry, Bongo Drums, Pot
1960's Hippies Pot, Acid, Pot, Librium, Seconal, Pot
1970's Disco Cocaine, Dexies, Bennies, Valium, Fags, Grass
1980's New Romantics Cocaine, Anal Sex, Herb
1990's Grunge Heroin, Ecstasy, Flannel, Starbucks Coffee, Prozac, Weed
2000's Emo Ritalin, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, NyQuil, Robitussin, Rispiridone, Weed, Penis (a lot of it)

National Emo Kid Beatdown Day

Russia declares war!

Less conformist?

Shortly before Russia invaded South Ossetia, legislation was drafted that would end the cancer that is killing Russia once and for all. Butthurt emos across Russia protested with angsty and heartfelt slogans like "Kill the state in yourself" and "A totalitarian state encourages stupidity." Much to their chagrin, the emos' secret ties to the Nazis have been exposed by the Russian government.

MySpace emo kids

Like cocaine. WATCHOUT.

MySpace is the primary breeding ground of pure gay emo faggotry. It is not yet known why so many people devote so much time looking at pure shit. Studies have shown that Tom, the founder of MySpace has PEDO POWERS that cause all 16-year-old girls to sign up to his site. It is obvious that these sort of sites would appeal to emos, as it lets them bleat on about how miserable their pampered fucking suburban lives are and expect people to actually give a shit. Although nothing has yet been proven, preliminary results show that Tom emits a special type of gamma ray that makes gay emo fag girls horny. Another theory is that Tom is Adolf Hitler, and that using MySpace is similar to wearing the Jew identification badges Hitler used.

Recently, MySpace has lost its credibility with the emos, and they have since flocked over to EmoScene.com (plz troll). It is your duty to follow the emos to this new site and show them they are a sheep following a silly trend.

Common emo behavior

When oil reserves run dry in 2045, emos will be drained and used to manufacture an environmentally friendly fuel source.

Please refer to the Ofishul Emo Code for a complete list of rulez you must follow to be a true emo.

Gallery

Gallery of Emo

See also

Then use a bigger blade, dumbass.

Moar videos

External Links

Oh hi there. Redirected from /b/ebo were you?


Emo is part of a series on Music


Emo
is part of a series on EDUCATION.
Places

School | College | Columbine | Delaware | East High School Salt Lake City | ITT Tech | Jokela High School | NIU | Success Tech | VTech | Harvard | MIT | The Well-Cultured Anonymous

People

Student | The beautiful people | Jock | Emo | Scenester | Goth | Engineer

Events

Drinking | Date Rape | Homeschooling | Man points | Masturbation in showers | Taking the SAT | School Shooting

Personal tools