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Encyclopedia Dramatica:Today's featured article/November 15, 2009
Ashley Towns (AKA Ikee) is a fatscenefag who claimed on the 9th of November 2009 to have written the first virus for the Apple iPhone[1] that is targeting jailbroken iPhones only. His virus coincidentally is identical to the Dutch worm,[2][3][4][5][6] that became public on the 3rd of November, the source of which was leaked a week prior to his claim (see: attention whore). He merely stole the Dutch version of code released on all the usual networks and changed the payload to load a Rick Astley wallpaper. His targeting of newfags didn't bring the lulz, but his fat scene faggot head did.
Ashley Towns enjoys tea, long walks on the beach, and candle-lit dinners. He offsets his failure at life by rendering uneducated twats on IRC servers in awe of his l33t hacking skills by claiming other peoples work as his own, while living in squalor with his mother in Wollongong, Australia, after being kicked out of his old place for being too fat.
