Contents
- 1 Holder of Muse
- 1.1 In any city, in any country, go to any bar at 1:37 in the morning. If it is noisy and crowded, then leave and find one less busy. If there are less then eight patrons currently there, then have a seat at the second to last stool, up at the bar. Should the bartender speak to you in an accent that sounds Russian, or Greek, order as much as you want of anything, for the Holder is aware of who you are, and you have until sun up to enjoy a comparatively painless existence.
- 1.2 If, however, he or she speaks to you with an accent that sounds like nothing you've heard before, say, word for word, "I would like to partake in your finest absinthe." Without hesitation, or even looking away from your face, the bartender will reach down, and come back with an old, dusty bottle of bright, fluorescent green liquid. Without waiting for the customary spoon, or even a shot glass, break off the neck, and drink the entire supply. As soon as the last mouthfull of viscous liquid oozes down your throat, your vision will swim, and you'll feel yourself falling from your seat. Make no attempt to stop yourself. Any grab at the bar will change it to a wrack of torture so horrible it defies imagination; you're to be its next victim.
- 1.3 If not, you'll fall for what feels like hours, and will finally come to rest in a bar that looks like an exact copy, but for every surface replaced from wood to rusty, gore-splattered corrugated iron. Stand up, and the bar will be flooded from all over with a light that cycles through the entire spectrum. After the seventh cycle, sit back down in the same stool you were in originally. In a voice that would make a demonic entity think twice about bothering you, say, as if to yourself, "I've only come for a drink. Leave me in peace."
- 1.4 A man dressed in a black satin suit and wearing a black bowler hat will then walk in through the door. As he sits down, the bartender from above, sans their face, will appear and immediately pour the man a drink. Look not at what is pouring from the bottle, lest you desire your blood to emulate the liquid as from every orifice of your body.
- 1.5 Wait for the man to finish his drink. When he sets it down with a sigh, he will move as to get up. Before he does, say, in a dark tone, "I seek the Holder of Muse." Should he continue out without stopping, you can enjoy an eternity of every one of you bodily fluids providing drinks in the demonic tavern.
- 1.6 If he sits back down, he will emit another sigh. From his mouth will emerge the most amazing, the most horrible, the most awe-inspiring, the most soul devouring creations and ideas ever thought of in this reality. Watch them all, and do not interrupt him. When his infinite breath runs out, turn and ask him, "What is the source of their inspiration?"
- 1.7 The man will smile, and wink at you. From his eye will strike a beam of deepest black and purest white, and it will pierce your mind.
- 1.8 Your new inspiration is Object 155 of 538. All thoughts will now be clear, and no substance, no environment, no creature from the abyss will cloud your mind.
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