From Encyclopedia Dramatica
cyberoidx:
Who the FUCK is /b/
and please, no welcome to the internetz comments anybody.
rootneg2:
welcome to the internetz!
dannychen16:
newfag gtfo
www.digg.com - http://www.digg.com/security/4chan_got_HACKED
Newsboard
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GOD DAMMIT. this is /n/ its made for news and subsequent unrelated bickering about niggers. go to /pol/ its there for a reason among which is suggesting various economic theories and subsequent unrelated bickering about niggers.
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| —Anonymous on 420chan news
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hope this is the right place to suggest a quote of the now 7510 22:31, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
MonkeyPee Rambles
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Birds of a feather spell words wrong together.
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| —MonkeyPee
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Wanna conserve energy and burn calories at the same time?
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| —MonkeyPee, during Earth Hour
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Jackshow
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Frist Im jack and IM here to say stay on you're own damn site
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| —Jackshow
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- I don't know for sure, but I think this is Deviantartlet Jackshow. --Blu Aardvark 17:11, 16 December 2007 (CST)
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YOu mess with my friends I mess with you're face
you mess with me I mess with you're neck and arms and legs
you mess with my religion I mess with you're idiles
you mess with my god I cut you down when you become a tree and prnt the bibble on you
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| —Jackshow
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Anonymous on Bestiality
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Get the fuck out newfags. Drawing furries are for faggots. Fucking dogs, are for real men.
This is /b/ you faggots.
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| —Anonymous
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Right...Whoever Made This Hate Site..Care To Explain What The Fuck Ben EVER Did To You?
And No I Don't Care If You Know Who Posted This Comment.
I'm Ashleigh..Yes Jackson...I Wonder If You Saddo's Have Made One About Me Yet.
Well If You Care To Explain What The Fuck Ben Did Then Add My Msn. Cuz I Wont Check This Again.
Cuz It's Foul.
And You Need To Learn How To Spell.
Cuz More Is Spelt Like That.. Not Moar.
Idiot.
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| —Ashleighjackson, regarding Ben Vodden, December 23. 2007
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Retard Fuck
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[21:38] <ajt> You know guys,
[21:38] <ajt> I would sure as hell fuck a retard
[21:38] <ajt> you know that, right?
[21:38] <NeoLobster> yes
[21:38] <WhiteMystery> if they're hot, why not?
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| —#encyclopediadramatica IRC
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Anonymous on Jews
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The Jews were total assholes before they settled down. They'd just showed up at your city, start screaming about their god then kill everyone.
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| —Anonymous
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Give it up buckwheat, nothing is going to happen to me. I can do what I want, when I want, however I want and the bleating unwashed masses can spew forth their bogostic blabberings as much as they want, I'm untouchable. You should learn that by now you dyke.
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| —Calton Bolick
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In short there are too many idiots and too few people prepared to tell them to fuck off.
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| —JzG
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Please leave the room if this will offend you.
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| —R. Budd Dwyer
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There should be a warning for the shocking and disgusting content.
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| —79.116.9.121
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-
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Read the article; that should have been enough warning.
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| —Jéské Couriano
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Jjlikesmen’s Wikipedia unblock request
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{{unblock|I know this sonuds a little farfetched but i can only hope that you believe and let me get back to my passion for wikipedia. I was in the middle of the harmless session on wikipedia when my wife came in and asked me where the anal lube was. At this point I should have just told her to go away but like any cool dude I love doing it in the ass. So instead of stopping my wikipedia session right there I decided to do her up the ass in front of the computer. Everything was going well until about 10 minutes in when she started shitting profusely all over the keyboard. At this point I paniced and ejaculated on the monitor. In my efforts to clean up the unbearable mess I ended up typing some things that may have been construed as vandilism. Due the intense volume of seamen on my computer screen I was unable to see what I was typing and therefore I should not be held responsible for my action. Next time I am editing wikipedia I will tell my wife we have to forget the the anal.}}
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| —Jjlikesmen
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Ricki Raven wearing a banana suit for sex
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id try it yeah. never worn one a banana suit this wud ave to be done in a hotel or summet though as it wudbe 2 risky to do it at mine incase sum1 walked in how embarrasin, yea that wud be fun..do u ave any banana suits.. oh and yea dirty feet are nice only if there white..but neva licked any b4...oh and this may sound silly but wudnt mind u swearin as i lickin ur feet...perhaps be a bit racist...lol xxxx i dontfink ur weird at allll its called explorin your fantasies..
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| —Ricki Raven being trolled into agreeing to wear a banana suit during sex
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On computers
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Computers are lollipops that rot your teeth.
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| —Long Beach Ca. teacher Marilyn Darch, quote by Cliff Stoll
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Elliott Smith song I randomly /b/'d up
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Won't you let me walk you home from school?
Won't you let me meet you at the pool?
Maybe Friday I can,
Get tickets from the dance,
And I'll take you,
Ooo ooo ooo.
Won't you tell your dad get off my back?
Tell him what we said 'bout "Paint It Black,"
Rock and roll is here to stay,
Come inside now it's ok,
And I'll shake you,
Ooo ooo ooo.
Won't you tell me what you're thinking of?
Would you be an outlaw for my love?
If it's so then let me know,
If it's no then I can go,
And I won't make you,
Ooo ooo ooo.
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| —Elliott Smith, Thirteen
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And yeah, it's quoted in my Talk-box, big whoop, wanna fight about it? --In Before Blood Shard - Life 11:59, 15 August 2008 (CDT)
On Battletoads
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[10:16] &tycho> so, a friend of mine goes to gamestop
[10:17] &tycho> to buy some final fantasy game
[10:17] &tycho> or some shit
[10:17] &tycho> he goes to the counter
[10:17] &tycho> and the gamestop guy asks how he can help
[10:17] &tycho> and my friend instictively asks for battletoads
[10:17] &tycho> the guy says
[10:17] &tycho> "yeah we have three copies"
[10:17] &tycho> my friend stands there shocked
[10:17] &tycho> then buys all three
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| — #711chan on Partyvan IRC
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Switching from Firefox to Chrome
Private Message in Steam, Sept 25 2008
Erm?
Michael: i dont like half dumps
like when you go to take a dump
and you take a dump
but like
you know you only dumped half a load
and the other half is still up in the system
but its just not on the conveyer belt yet
and you can feel it
so you're like fuuuuuuuuuuuuu
and you gotta wait
till it moves along the track
into the torpedo tube
so you gotta wipe when you're half satisfied
GODDAMN IS LIFE EVER HARD.
Me: Erm?
-Gmail chat Oct 06 08
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Well, in the interest of full disclosure, my girlfriend recently broke up with me and said that I am "borderline autistic." I avoided mentioning that I hadn't realized that she was my girlfriend, but I did ask how she had seen my medical records..
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| —Braaainsss on the subject of love
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--
Jizzy McDildo 02:51, 20 March 2009 (UTC)
some bitch on ED
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I want my own Encyclopedia Dramatica page. That would be ohso entertaining.
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| —mstragedy
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http://twitter.com/mstragedy/status/1384965970
Piilu 15:18, 27 March 2009 (UTC)
Shockingly, this wasn't here already.
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lol internet
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| —4chan's 10k GET
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--Buttoi Man 00:31, 21 April 2009 (UTC)
Calories
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kingkibble: I just don't understand how PURE ENERGY makes us fat.
When I see someone fat I don't go "LOOK AT THE ENERGY"
stagknight: You would if you'd ever tried to burn people as fuel.
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| — [ The calorie! NOW YOU KNOW
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Seen on a Qwantz Livejournal response, lol dinosaurs
--Timballisto 14:56, 15 June 2009 (UTC)
Flood or fellatio
Suggested on talk page by SlimWhitman, DOKTORTR might be the rare turk who is funny, might be faking that, or might just be a $3 bill, probably soon to get himself banned. The last bit of the quote *is* srsly good. Facepalm if the other user actually suggested it and it was already posted on a day I didn't log in.
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I am scared now. What do I flood? and which one is real? Do you think I flood or do you commit fellatio?
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| —DOKTORTR, æ, 05:17, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
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A PM from calcatchem (the 6/15 quote)
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Hey man, I know its tough. I like how you have nothing better to do than pick on a 16 year old kid. You're 5 years older than me, and I've already been laid more times than you have. So, I guess when you crawl out under the basement, maybe you can get some sunlight or something?
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| —calcatchem
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Striked through because I lied about my age on Youtube. 
All Aboard! (Where's your ticket?) 19:53, 15 June 2009 (UTC)
Lol New Zealand
An LP fan on jewtube who made an account just to react to my trolling. Apparently I'm not worth her time. [The Account] Prahanormal 14:20, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
Since There's Currently No Quote Of The Now ...
I'd like to direct you to my own handiwork here: Talk:Wacko Jacko
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Sanatherandom, at first I was going to reply with a simple "HEEE HEEEEEEEE!", but I decided I'll tackle this one with sober logic. For me at least, it's not about MJ the man, the father, the musician, or the circus sideshow. This article, and the lulz found within, are a means of resistance, call it indignation even, at the 2-week, 24 hour coverage by ALL news outlets of one single human being's passing. This while we're a nation conducting two wars, and running up a trillion dollar deficit in which the government borrows 50 cents for every dollar it spends from China. Millions of people die every single day, and they don't merit a mention even next to the toilet paper coupons at the back of the newspaper. Is MJ's soul more valuable than the orphaned Iraqi who died of neglect in a sweltering Baghdad alleyway? To starstruck fucktards like you, and the wide swath of flat-liner NORPS across America, apparently so.
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| —User:SandWigga, Talk:Wacko Jacko
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The Beatles
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Azriael : The Beatles are awesome!
Rogue: I step on Beatles.
Icarus: Really? I shoot them outside their apartments.
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| —Xbox Live Partayz
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JEWS DID CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS
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Columbus' voyage was bought and paid for with assets seized from Spanish Jews by the monarchy.
I guess we could say America is essentially built on the "gold" of Jews. It is likely very few Americans are aware of this...were you?
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| —ImNeilPatrickHarris, [5]
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#forum Shenanigans
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[00:02:54] <&dan> i've been trying to turn it into a SA model. thing is, we only have 20 "real" users who come back day after day.
[00:03:02] <@mthrfkn> yeah dan
[00:03:07] <@mthrfkn> I thought of that too
[00:03:10] <%Cunt_Destroyer> am I real?
[00:03:14] <&dan> sure, there are 3800 users
[00:03:16] <%SharpSpoonful> Are you?
[00:03:18] <@mthrfkn> it needs a larger more consistent "fan" base
[00:03:22] <%Cunt_Destroyer> no Im fake
[00:03:25] <Xesyag> Maybe you can pay 10 dollars to get a guaranteed acceptance on your ban appeal regardless of length.
[00:03:28] <Xesyag> Unless you did something REALLY bad
[00:03:33] <&dan> but the forum is sustained by 20 people trying to fuck each other
[00:03:40] <+KittyLoaf> LOL
[00:03:40] <Sheneequa> SA business model won't work
[00:03:42] <%SharpSpoonful> lol
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| —Typical comparison between SA and EDF.
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PageChatContribs 04:06, 23 October 2009 (UTC)
Frosty Preachin
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Much luv mah incestuous brotha's an' sista's! Many are the woes we have faced these past days. But'cha must beh STRONG in these, ah-harsh times. We must look upon our savior, i said our SAVIOR... for he hath united ourselves with tha one, TRUE callin'! Under his careful guidance, The Path shall be cleansed of tha WRETCHED Darkness that befouls our noble cause, and besmirtches our namesake as if we were filthy, discustin' an' hidious creatures! Fear not the Darkness lil' chitlins; Tha Savior shall not yeild for any test or strife that attempts to encompass us on our journy tah tha new land! A land with great gusts 'o wind! On these winds carries a smell o' flowers, an' sweet pastries filled wit'da warmth o' tha luvin' family; a family o' luvers...
Chitlins...i think we are nearly past the waverin' Darkness, i can ah-SEE the light at tha end of tha road...Oh GREAT SAVIOR, please wipe away tha Darkness and show these loyal followers to tha place that smells o' flowers and families o' luv...
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| —StayFrosty adressing his followers at myincesthentai[6]
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All Aboard! (Where's your ticket?) 19:53, 15 June 2009 (UTC)
PageChatContribs 04:06, 23 October 2009 (UTC)
