South Park
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
ЮГ ПАРК YS SYMBOL OFF COЯЯUPT WEST SEИT AS PAЯT OF SECЯET PLAИ BY COMЯADE CLINTOИ TO WEAKEИ MORAL FIBEЯ OF YOUИG BOLSHEVIKS, IИSTIL FALSE VALUES OF CAPTIALISM AИD PЯEVEИT GLOЯIOUS ЯISE TO POWEЯ OF COMЯADE PUTIN. THANKFULLY, OИ 9TH OF SEPTEMBEЯ 2008 YT WAS ИAMED AS "EXTЯEMIST AИD OFFEИSIVE" BY GLOЯIOUS ЯUSSIAИ PЯOSECUTOЯ. 9TH SEPTEMBEЯ - DEATH OF TOLSTOY, AИD DEATH OF SOUTH PAЯK!
COMЯADE STOИE YS ИOW EИJOYIИG SIBEЯIAИ HOSPITALITY, WHILE COMЯADE PAЯKEЯ AWAITS FIЯIИG SQUAD. ALL GLOЯY TO GLOЯIOUS PEOPLE'S ЯEVOLUTIOИ!
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[edit] PAЯKEЯ AND STOИE
COMЯADE STOИE AИD COMЯADE PAЯKEЯ AЯE CAPITALIST ЯUИИING OИE-TRICK POИIES MAKIИG ЯEPEATED AИD DOOMED ATTEPTS TO BЯEAK OUT OF IИSTAИT FAME CUL-DE-SAC. FAMOUS ATTEMPT TO SELL SHOW "THAT'S MY BUSH" TO IMPEЯIALIST PЯOPAGAИDA ИEWOЯK COMEDY CEИTЯAL PЯOVED UИSUCCESFUL, AИD DESCЯIBED BY PAИEL OF BOLSHEVIK MEDIA CЯITICS AS "FULL OF FYIL."
BOTH CLAIM TO BE LIBETAЯIAИ TROTSKYITES SUPPOЯTIИG COMMOИ MAИ, BUT AЯE SECЯET ИEOCOИS IN FULL SUPPOЯT OF HEGEMOИIC GLOBAL ИEOCOИ ЯEGIME. COMЯADE STONE ЯEPORTED TO BE OVEЯBEAЯIИG ALCOHOLIC BULLY, WHO ALSO WEAЯ THE UИDEЯCLOTHES OF A WOMAN TO DЯAW ATTEИTIOИ AWAY FROM HIS CLOSET HOMOSEXUALITY. COMЯADE PAЯKEЯ CLAIM TO BE SUPPOЯTEЯ OF ИAZI EUGENICS, BUT IИ THE EИD MAЯЯY ASIAИ MAIL OЯDEЯ BЯIDE. SEE WESTERИ HYPOCRISY DIG YTS OWN GЯAVE!
| —ЯUSSIAИ PЯOSECUTOЯ GENEЯAL, IN WAЯИING TO TЯAITOЯOUS 2X2 NETWOЯK |
| —KOИSTAИTIИ BEИDAS, HEAD OF ЯUSSIAИ UИIOИ OF EVAИGELICAL CHЯISTIAИS |
[edit] GALLEЯY OF DAИGEЯOUS IИSUЯGEИTS
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[edit] Scientology Episode
The infamous episode in which Scifags con Stan that he is the reincarnation of L. Ron Jeremy and has been chosen to be to lead the 'church'. After telling Tom Cruise that he doesn't think much of his acting, Tom locks himself in Stan's closet and refuses to leave despite the best efforts of John Travolta, Nichole Kidman and R. Kelly.
Cruise immediately went into panty bunched nerd rage mode and threatened to stop promoting his fail movie "Mission Impossible 3" if Viacom aired the episode again (since Viacom and the movie studio have the same owner). After initially obliging, Viacom let YouTube have at it...which is pretty impressive since Viacom have been suing YouTube over Daily Show and Colbert Report clips for at least 100 years.
[edit] Shit Episode
South Park had an episode of saying nothing but "shit" uncensored on TV. A counter in the corner stated that they said shit 162 times in the 22 minute air time.
[edit] Main Characters
Stan Whiny little faggot who is Trey Parker's avatar on the show. Least interesting of all of the characters, yet gets a large amount of screen time with his asshole father. Once dated Wendy Testaburger (stand-in for Trey Parker's dumb slut ex-girlfriend, who dumped Trey days before South Park hit the airwaves and made the asshole a millionaire.
Though he is supposed to be best friends with Kyle, Stan has no problems whatsoever with selling Kyle out to Cartman or taking Cartman's side whenever Kyle and Cartman feud. Some neckbeards believe Stan has a higher purpose and is God, when in fact he's as interesting as watching flies on shit.
Kyle
South Park's very own Jew and Matt Stone's avatar. Like all Jews he is a fluffy, whiny, bitch. This causes people to question his gender and age. The sight of him mercilessly turns 16 year old girls that waste their time on pedophiles 'r us into...well...pedophilles. It is enough to make A high authority figure cry.
On the other side he is only a jew just because his kind and self-controlled mother forces him to. Therefore, if he did not scream in shock at the site of a picture of Hitler and complain constantly, then people would think he is not jewish. Knowing him, he has probably slept with Ariel Sheraton or gotten raped by a 16 year old girl. He also enjoys good, and humorous television
Kenny An impoverished kid whose parents are alcoholics. He's the most obscene of all the boys but because his parka muffles his voice, it's difficult to make out exactly what he's saying without the closed captioning on.
When the movie came out, all the fantards went batshit insane because for the first time it was revealed what Kenny actually looked like. Why anyone would care we don't know because all the South Park characters look exactly the fucking same.
Earlier in the series Kenny died in almost every episode as the show's running gag. This lasted for five seasons until Parker and Stone decided to kill Kenny off for good and replace him with Butters. Unfortunately, two things happened: Comedy Central went batshit nuts over losing merchandise money off Kenny shirts, dolls, and sticker books; and Parker & Stone made Butters into such a bitch boy for the other kids, that Comedy Central was forced to put the ban hammer on Parker and Stone to get them to leave Butters alone. So Kenny was brought back in season six's finale and now only dies once every season, which is often the only thing Kenny does nowadays.
In the eyes of the fangirls, Kenny is thought of as being the 'sexiest' of the boys and many a fanfic has spawned about him whoring himself out to the other boys for anonymous sex for money for the emo factor. Then again, it's obviously it was written by the people at pedophiles 'r us
The many, many, many deaths of Kenny
MOAR
Butters
A pussy to gets the shit beaten out of him by his mentally ill mother and faggot of a father, often after Cartman does something and frames Butters for it so that he can watch Butters be tortured for his amusement.
Butters was a background character promoted up the ladder as Kenny's replacement with the intent that instead of dying each episode, Butters would be tortured and abused and treated as the bitchboy of the group. But this got stopped when fans latched onto the character and Comedy Central, upon being told that Butter's gimmick would be "his parents beat him black and blue", forced Butters from this fate and into a secondary supporting cast member role.
Thanks to the DA Tartlets, Butters is usually paired with Eric Cartman as a homosexual couple and drawn often like a tranny, even though Cartman is the one who dresses like a girl (a fact that Butters revealed to his entire class and a group of soldiers, to Cartman's horror and shame) and sucked Butter's cock after drugging him. Despite this, Butters' tranny persona "Marjorine" has become popular in fanart to further the faggotry.
The fact that all the characters are under 10 years old means that the creators are not only fabulous faggots but pedophiles as well.
[edit] Special Mentions
[edit] Eric Cartman
Cartman is the show's break-out character, to such an extent that Parker and Stone have both retconned the history of the series to shove Cartman to the forefront of their vision of South Park, when they initially pitched the series. However, if you watch the original batch of episodes, you'll see that Cartman was nothing more than a supporting cast, mentally retarded fat kid who rose to fame and overtook the show from Stan and Kyle on the back of two memes: "Kyle's Mom is a Big, Fat Bitch" and "BEEFCAKE!!!!!"
Eric is the racist, sociopathic, closet case, and as the self-important spawn of a hermaphrodite, Cartman soon rose to fame as the defining character of the series.
The evolution of Cartman can be seen in three forms:
- Mentally retarded kid who gets manipulated by the others, culminating in him being mock-crucified and abandoned in the desert for several weeks (seasons 1-3)
- Manipulative schemer who seeks to make a million dollars, but who occasionally gets fucked over by people smarter than he is, and will horribly fuck up anyone who fucks with him by having their parents murdered and said parents corpses turned into chilli that is they are then manipulated into eating (seasons 4-5)
- Satanically evil figure with no soul who will fuck you up just because (season 6-current season)
Some argue Cartman jumped the shark when he entered the third phase, since Parker and Stone removed any remaining elements of being a sympathetic character from Cartman and turned him into a fat ball of pure evil incarnate.
Most fans like to point out, at every chance possible, Cartman's immense faggotry:
- making out with a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Justin Timberlake while dressed up like Brittany Spears
- Date raping Butters with Nyquil so he could stick Butter's dick into his mouth
- His obsession with making Kyle suck his balls, via a bet to get his tiny balls sucked off by him in the overrated "Imaginationland" trilogy. He also joined NAMBLA on one occassion, leading to all his friends (all boys) being almost raped. He also fucked Leonardo DiCaprio while in drag, though he was not mentally sound at the time, having suffered a blow to the head that made him think he was a child prostitute of Vietnamese descent.
Cartman's hatred of Jews (and love for Hitler and Mel Gibson), as well as his weight, has caused many to speculate that Cartman's biological mother (who had sex with his tranny mother and got knocked up by him/her) is Kyle's mom, making Cartman half-Jewish.
Like Hitler, Cartman did it for the lulz, only for them to most of the time end in failure. He still fucking rocks though no matter how much of an asshole he is, and normally represents the standards of an average teenage male that Thinks it's okay to do drugs and curse, which is what the average wanna/b/tard thinks will get him into 4chan.
[edit] Isaac Hayes a.k.a. "Chef"
A nigger who would give the children advice whilst occassionally bursting into song about fucking white wymen. Eventually became a pedophile (as a metaphor for Scientology -- seriously) and a Darth Vader clone. I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SCAMMERS ON MY MOTHERFUCKIN' LIFE!. Since he has slept with Over 9000 women, it is no doubt he has herpes. Or scientology panflits (HAHAHA I CAN'T SPELL) somewhere.
[edit] South Park and Isaac Hayes Episode
Like every religious person (Christfags, Jews, Muslims, atheists etc.) Isaac Hayes was happy to take the piss out of other peoples' beliefs but left South Park forever when they started making fun of his own religion. So Parker and Stone turned Isaac Hayes's Chef into a brainwashed, globetrotting pedophile who was no longer interested in "making sweet love to you woman" and moar interested in putting his balls in Kyle's rectum after he'd joined a "fruity little club" called the Super Adventure Club.
Despite Isaac Hayes's loyalty, the Co$ had him killed on August 10th, 2008, when they finally realized that he was not the kind of person they wanted as a celebrity spokesman. What a fucking sucker.
[edit] Minor Character
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Mr.Mrs.Mr. Garrison
Closet case school teacher who's queerness and racism was manifested via his hand puppet "Mr. Hat". Ultimately losing the puppet after an argument, Garrison wrote a gay romance novel that he didn't believe was gay when he wrote it and became a hermit, before coming out of the mountains and his closet by way of admitting he was gay. Costing him his lover Mr. Slave, the self-loathing led him to have a sex change so he could go back to gay-bashing. He then became a lesbian. However Garrison refused to wear a wig or do anything else to change his looks, making him a failed tranny in the process. Since then, he's gone back to being a man, having stopped taking pills to give him breast and having a new sentient penis grown on the back of a mouse, which is now resides inside Garrison's pussy.
- Mrs. Cartman (Eric's Mother and Father)
A hermaphrodite crack whore who makes her money doing shit fetish porn. Has a fully functioning penis, and spoils Cartman into becoming a complete sociopath.
- Randy Marsh (Stan's Father)
When Chef was written out, Parker and Stone decided to upgrade Stan's father as the new main adult character, in the process turning him into a Homer Simpson clone, which exhibits the worst aspects of the "Jerk-Ass Homer" incarnation of Homer Simpson. Needless to say, this only accelerated the downward decline of South Park, as we received countless episodes of Randy Marsh behaving like a fucktard of epic proportion.
- Wendy Testaburger
The aforementioned useless bitch, whose only noteworthy moment was shooting a lesbian into the sun when Stan stopped lusting after Wendy in favor of lusting after the lezzy. Was based on Trey Parker's stupid bitch ex-girlfriend, who dumped him days before Trey became a millionaire. As such, Wendy slowly evolved into an evil and conniving bitch of epic proportions before ultimately dumping Stan in the episode "Raisins". Some butthurt newfags believe that Wendy/Stan shippers flooding the message boards with bullshit posts demanding they reconcile was what caused them to get back together, and the bitch to be debitchified (while Bebe got bitch energy transferred to her). The real truth is that Matt and Trey have run out of ideas, as evidenced by every new episode that fails hard at being 'relevant'.
- Bebe
The blonde slut friend of Wendy who was originally the more sane of the two, but went batshit fucking insane over shoes (bitches love shoes). Like most of the pedos who watch the show, she had a fetish for Kyle's ass, but moved on to some useless fat fuck named Clyde when Kyle was all homo for Stan in the clubhouse. She also had tits once, which'd normally make her even more desirable to pedos, but nobody cares since she's such a useless and undesirable cunt.
- Pip
British (French) fag that was the original pussy of the children before Butters, before being written out of the show in season eleven, though only the 16-year old girls lusting after his cock would notice and beat it into your head, when in fact he stopped being relevant completely around the sixth season after Butters' faggot ass got the spotlight.
- Timmy
TIMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAH
- Jimmy
Cripple boy who walks with crutches, Jimmy cursed by God to be handicapped because his asshole parents used to make torture/bully the handicapped as teenagers. Stutters like a motherfucker, in spite of his "career" to be a stand-up comic.
- Mr.Hankey
A literal talking piece of shit Kyle worships in December as his surrogate Santa Claus. Appeared in the early seasons before being phased out of the show.
[edit] The Movie
South Park: The Movie is an offensive film with the message that no one should be offended by an offesive film. When South Park first debuted, everyone and their mother believed that the show would self-destruct in a trail of "flavor of the week" failure once the show's shock appeal wore off. So Parker and Stone convinced Paramount to greenlight a movie version of the series, in the guise of a musical about freedom of speach and censorship, as production of the movie came just as the Columbine High School shooting took place and everyone was demanding censorship of everything remotely controversial.
After several weeks of hard work, the film debuted in the summer of 1999 and was a suprise hit, in spite of the constant musical numbers and a subplot about Saddam Hussein fucking Satan in a mad grab for power in the afterlife. Many attribute the success to the fact that Parker and Stone were allowed to say "fuck", a fact that was a major plot point of the film's story.
[edit] South Park and The Internet
Season 12 includes a couple of poorly-written episodes that give nods to what they must perceive as the "Internet culture". More specifically Over-Logging and the more widely received Canada on Strike, which features a bunch of old and forced memes killing one another. Real original.
Not until there is an episode with gay Jewish niggers from outer-space BAWWWWWWing and riding exploding yellow vans into WTC whilst doing barrel rolls for Sparta only to be greeted by a zerg rush of longcats and raptor Jesuses firing lazors out of their goatse eyesockets only to not have enough minerals to construct additional pylons or spawn more overlords to protect themselves from an impending irl ddos banhammer from an anonymous lemonparty spawned by Michael Phelps who doesn't afraid of anything that passes the time by dividing by zero while furfags jerk off to tubgirl at least 100 times and refuse to listen to Ondore's lies before being commanded by Brian Peppers to DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING in order to become an hero thus resulting in over 9000 facepalms will they be vindicated from the status of panderers to the diseased middle-class. Period. Also, someone needs to open a trenchcoat and say "GOT SOMETHIN' THAT MIGHT INTEREST YA..."
[edit] South Park and Its Fanbase
The fanbase of the show, which becomes moar fail and cancerous with each season, generally consists of:
- Weeaboo who constantly draw the characters in animu style so they won't feel bad about fantasizing over 8-year old cock (or 9, who gives a fuck when the creators can't even make up their mind) when it's drawn "sexily".
- 16-year old girls who fantasize of screwing the main boys and that BAWWW if anyone mocks their true love. These can be found easily on DevianTART along with the weeaboos.
- A rabid slash fandom that consists of both above categories, as well as the occasional furfag and Hot Topic posers. Many of their masterpieces can be found on Fanfiction.net, its bastard spawn FOS-FF, and DA.
- Basement dwellers that spend all their time on the "South Park Studios" message board, ready to kill each other over opinions on a fucking cartoon show. These types tend to proclaim themselves as being "mature" and think they know the show better than the own creators, but in fact tend to be 13-year old boys or middle-aged men who throw a tantrum if someone calls them out on their bullshit, and start flamewars over being proven wrong.
- The fans that act like every episode is free of flaws and start internet drama over someone not agreeing with their blatant ass-kissing, though you also get plenty of the Emos who troll and whine about the show not being like the "classic" seasons, yet continue to watch just for the purpose of bitching. All of these and more tend to dwell mostly on South Park Studios. Others use AllAbout-SP for their faggotry.
- In rarer instances, you get butthurt het diehards (usually Stan/Wendy) that cry moar over how the slashers keep ruining "their" show. Welcome to the South Park fandom, fags.
- You also get retarded 14-16-year-old upper middle class children who think that everything ever said by the show is funny, and watch it while their mom goes out to get them hot-pockets and weed.
Examples of these fans include:
- Mewster
A psychotic, middle-aged schoolteacher whose hate for Cartman was such serious business, he created a (now baleeted) site with shotacon-worthy fanart to showcase just HOW much he hated the character. He was also known to flame and troll anyone he considered to be a Cartman fan, claiming that Cartman fans drove him to insanity. He was worshipped as a BNF among Cartman haters, until his wife got pissed and told him to leave the BBS. He later reregistered as Cartman's Top Enemy and continued to troll. Most of the fans who used to think he was the lulz came to see what a retard he was and cut ties with him for their own sanity.
[edit] Preachy bullshit
After realizing that they had peaked with South Park (LOL LEARN WHEN NOT TO USE QUOTES EDIOTS), Parker and Stone decided to turn the show onto its side and make it a vehicle for political views, mainly that:
- Republicans can do no wrong
- Democrats are to blame for all of the world's miseries
- Global Warming is a lie
- George W Bush is a white knight of virtue, who can do no wrong and even allows the rest of America to vilify him because he's that nice of a guy
- It's okay for the government and organizations to discriminate against gays
- Racists and homophobes should not be punished extra for crimes committed in the name of hate
- Child rape is aaaaawright, if the rapist is a child of the same age
- Abortion is srs biznez, and it is wrong
- ????
MOAR COCKSMOAR PROFIT
[edit] Gallery
 The cast celebrate another award winning season! |
 The real Eric Cartman |
 Tributes to moonspeakers are often made |
 Most episodes of South Park are inspired by the creators' own sexual fantasies. |
 Actual scene from South Park. |
 Find Cartman! |
 Bastard son of Cartman, a Jew and MSPaint. |
 Blockatiel has saved us once again! |
 AZN fangirls need their yaoi too. |
 Pedobear approved lolis |
 Stan makes himself useful |
 Kenny about to be raped by his fans, as always |
 What DevianTART likes |
 He'll suck your "chocolate salty balls" |
 Rule 63 hits South Park with added pantyshot for more pedos |
 Weeaboos approve! |
 Kyle prepares for another round of rape |
 A typical wet dream of a fangirl |
 South park was the first ever show to rip-off the Simpsons |
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 Moar pedobait. |
 It's a trap. An eight year old trap. Ya rly |
 No, really. It's a dickgirl. |
 Don't let the Stan fanboys see this. Oh, wait. |
 Tartlet faggotry knows no limits. |
 God help us all. |
