Erlang
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Erlang is part of a series on Programming.
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Other topics: Operating system, Warez, Notepad, Is not a bug, it's a feature, Database error
Erlang is the only object-oriented language in wide-spread use. This is a constant thorn in the sides of those whom, for whatever retarded reason, defend Alan Kay's redefinition & defamation of the term "object-oriented," which was actually invented by two Norwegian communists while designing a complex system of dictatorial economic planning for the Soviet Union.
Thus spake Kristen Nygaard, coinventor of object-orientation: "In OO, a program execution is regarded as a physical model, simulating the behavior of either a real or imaginary part of the world."
Thus spake Alan Kay, coinventor of homosexuality, pedophile & charlatan: "I invented the GUI and my expertise on the subject is handily demonstrated by Squeak."
In Smalltalk-like faux-OO environments (such as Java and Objective Caml), only one "object" at a time is allowed to work (unless the system uses the hairy error-prone kludge referred to as threading). This is completely absurd and the only reason it is accepted is that programmers are insecure nerds who lack the capability of independent thought. In Erlang-like actual OO environments, all objects are automatically distributed across the internets using botnets and Linux.
Erlang also features an assign-once model, instead requiring the programmer to use tail-recursion. This eliminates all bugs, and is responsible for the 100% track record of Europe's telephone network. Languages that have stolen this model include Haskell, Clean, and C#.
[edit] Serious stuff
In the early 90's a group of engineers working with Erlang made a demo reel showcasing it's fascinating ability to connect telephone lines together. Somewhere down the line everyone forgot programmers and engineers rarely see the light of day and thus should be exposed to the rest of the universe with extreme caution. The effect of putting their ghastly images on film and then showing it to Ericsson's customers was much akin to the companies vice president bursting into the conference room completely naked and smeared in his own excrement. Unfortunately the video of that hasn't yet surfaced so you will just have to make do with this; see if you can endure it right to the end.
