Europe
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
North West Asia (Officially: المغرب Al-Maġrib "The West" -of the Caliphate; Greek Εὐρώπη, also known as Zooropa & Eurabia or Zoorupistan) is a loosely defined subcontinent consisting of a penis-bouquet that forms the peninsular West Coast of Asia; Russia and Turkey being its testicles, and the Mediterranean its Perineum that leads to the Ass. Unlike more clearly defined Asian Subcontinents like India, Europa's borders are only culturally, religiously or politically defined and in constant change. Conventional knowledge refers to Europe as anything west of Russia and including Britain, Spain, Italy, France, Australia, Germany, Holland, Belgium and a whole bunch of frozen tundra with hot blue-eyed, blonde bitches collectively known as Scandinavia.
Eurabia is a nest of iniquity if ever there was one. They love themselves whilst accusing their son, America, of the same thing and rant about Barack Obama's communist American Empire. They are constantly sucking each others faces off and humping like rabbits, encouraged and influenced by the French and Italian film industries. Europe has been around a lot longer than the United States and, in fact, it is responsible for its creation. The creation of the USA is generally seen as Europe's biggest failure. Europe shall forever be shamed by this.
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Europa
"Yoorup", as those idiot Americunts like to spell it, is a pretty cool place. Of course Americunts would not know this as they are arrogant as fuck since a few hundred years ago. Named after Europa, a minor Greek goddess of the moon, thousands of years ago it was civilized with the Babylonian seed of wisdom. Under Greek and Roman influence it flourished even more and all was good. There were no religious wars (although Jews have always been a problem) and everyone was free to do what they wanted (unless you were a slave, which you probably were). These fine beginnings that started in ancient Mesopotamia ended with the fall of Rome by the secret, evil force that is Christianity and the rotting of old roads, networks social and physical ushered in the dark ages... Europe nevar, EVAR recovered. To add insult to injury some wandering Zooropans dared to prove the earth was not flat (even though this had been proved thousands of years before by the Egyptians) and soon discovered the Newfag World that their rebellious, bastard children would eventually call the Jewnited States of Americunts. See more in History To be honest, Europe has the best people, and at least they have culture. Europe has the highest number of dentists and attractive women.
Demographics of Zooropa
For biological purposes the population of North West Asia is divided into two groups: Breeders, which make up the minority now and will make up the majority ASAP, and Fags which refers to the native population doomed to extinction. We'll dedicate the following chapter to the memory of the Native Peoples of West Asia.
To be Eurabian is to be snooty, a cheese-eater, a hun, a tea-guzzling toffee-nosed toff, probably a Muslim and definitely a dirty liberal. Also, a general aversion to showering comes in handy. European activities used to revolve around imperialism, but is now relegated to losing to its former colonies in cricket and football matches. This is because Europe mocks Allah for his hermaphroditic goat fucking beliefs. Europeans are famously in love with themselves, sex, and food (or, as they call it, "cuisiné") and they practically kiss their own faces off at every given opportunity.
That said, Eurabians invented some of the greatest aspects of modern day society; Irony, LSD, and World War II. They typically like to think they invented everything in the world, but Europe was actually a shithole wasteland before the 20th Century that only managed to survive by being sailors and having gay orgies on the high seas.
The favorite pastimes of the denizens of Zooropa revolve primarily around blaming all tragedies worldwide on USA gun ownership policies and letting illegal Muslim immigrants run wild (and when all else fails, take out their frustrations on the Jews every now and then). Eurabians also like to spend their time either reading Marcel Proust or bashing in the heads of fellow football fans. Eurabians hate the USA, for reasons unknown due to the obvious failure of the USA Experiment on Europe's behalf (see Paris Hilton or Israel for further reference) or the way they fucked up the USA's self made stabilizer of the Middle East after dubya dubya.
It is predicted that by the year 2050, Eurabia will have become part of the Empire of Poland. Already, there are more Polish in Ireland than there are Irish, at least according to the Irish, who are generally too drunk to count. At the dawn of the Kingdomski of Polska, Stalin will be resurrected to rule over all of Europskirabia. Sadly enough, this can only help the Eurabian economy.
Typical European behaviors range from the laughable to the cruel. In Basque Country, young villagers hang from a live goose's neck until the poor animal expires: all in the name of tradition. Over in Greece, the island of Chios erupts in an annual fireworks war on Orthodox Easter pitting one parish in the town of Vrodandos against the other. In Belgium, they swallow live fish. In Turkey, camel wrestling is all the rage. The moronic Spanish jump in front of running bulls just for the lulz. And in the town of Malanka in Ukraine, residents dress up as Nazis and create simulated wartime checkpoints once a year to celebrate the end of World War II. The Scots, however, get hideously pissed every night and rape each other until they pass out and/or shit bricks.
Inferiority Complex
Eurabians have and maintain a vigilant inferiority complex against the Americans, as they slowly discover that:
- The EU will never be recognized as a united sovereign state, and therefore it will never be able to compete with the US for superpower status (and will likely collapse within the next couple years).
- Their national debt is far less than America's, especially since their amazing euro is worth more.
- Did I mention that Europe is getting drowned under a flood of sandniggers?
Whenever America insults Europe however, Europe remains steady and points out that America:
- Lacks the thousands of years of civilization to be able to say that to its parents.
- Does not give its people universal healthcare or uphold the Hippocratic Oath.
- Did not ratify the Kyoto Protocol.
- Does not recognize the International Criminal Court (along with Israel funnily enough).
- Invaded Iraq (along with the Nanny State) without the UN's permission on a pack of lies and flimsy hearsay.
How do you tell a Russian from a European?
Russian IRL political trolling of Europe for Great Justice. Remember this Russian?
By "saved you from East aggression" he means his own country's. Unlike Europeans, Russian males (and females) have balls.
History of Zooropa
With such a long and varied history, you're probably wondering "where can you possibly start?". Truth be told, nothing worthy of noting occurred in Europe after the Renaissance.
Once there were a bunch of nations from the area that is now Iraq and Iran (often referred to as Sandniggers by Americunts and Jews everyone). The people of this area invented the foundations of everything we consider civilization today, such as human rights, law, mathematics, written language, loli, incest and marriage to young girls. Meanwhile Europe was still a bunch of backwards tribal societies with large cesspits for toilets, SNES and Playstation. These early n00bz hunted and gathered whilst the Persians and Arabs did Battletoads and theoretical physics. The civilization gradually spread to the more western countries, through trade and such, who pondered over poetry and maps of the heavens. Then came the Greek city states with their empires and great thinkers which lead to the Romans who civilized the rest of the still barbarian Europe with Latin.
As a few thousand years of reasonably fun wars, sex and civilization took its course, Romans grew weary and could not be bothered fighting any more and gave their swords to their slaves to fight for them. Whilst all this was happening, the Christians slowly built in numbers, insidiously inserting their beliefs into the corridors of power by beguiling the Emperors wives with Christ who would then proceed to ask Maximus:
- Prima: Maximus, Christ was a great man; please stop persecuting the Xtians, they only want to help. *she said as she suggestively rubbed his buttocks*
- Secunda: Bah! But they are causing all sorts of troub...wait, its popular right? Maybe I can use it to gain EVEN MORE power over the people.
- Prima: Yes dear! Christ can help everyone!
- Secunda: Mmrpf...whatever, make me a sammitch.
Thus this new religion came in and destroyed everything the Romans had known and loved for years and forcefuly converted their way to heaven. Meanwhile the Roman empire collapsed under reinforced apathy and pacifism which their slaves soon took advantage of. All this led to the Dark ages, pretty much what we have now. Except their was one more awesome thing that happened before Zooropa truly became shit, the Renaissance.
In more modern times the European empires still remembered the one awesome thing that the Babylonians had taught them, loli; and in brothels all over Europe you could still go in and ask for the barkeeps eleven year old daughters tight pink arse and get it WITH FREEBIES! Alas, this one great throwback to our glorious past has gone, and now all we have is terror, pencil pusher politicians and no fucking loli.
From around the 19th century a new even more insidious scourge was beginning to make its presence felt again in Europe after years of hiding; the Zionist Jew, an ultra-nationalist, money and power greedy beast that would stop at nothing to ruin your lives! Forevar. They whispered in dark corners and made deals and ruined competitors until they owned banks and Vatican gold stolen during the Crusades et cetera. They run Zooropa nao (and the aptly name Jewnited States unfortunately too) and its close to closing taem...
Politics of Zooropa
All forms of government have been tried and tested by the nations of Zooropa since the days of Hammurabi to the modern nao and theorized by countless scholars through the æons. The preferred method, by those in charge, is a monarchy; where an imperial family rules with their favourites through incest so the line remains "unsullied" and the rest of the people are left to their devices, tied to the fields, having sex, vomiting then sex again; throwing all the ancient wisdom out the window and becoming nothing more than a nest of vipers run by a gaggle of filth.
There is also a sad illusion of "Democracy" (Greek δημοκρατία, lit. "rule by the people) in the Zoo, indeed the rest of the western world also. An invisible, omniscient terror threat is omnipresent and the people of Zooropa have to be kept safe from this menace which involves more of your precious freedomz being taken away, the right to fap; the right to call up your local Indian restaurant and call a massive tandoori takeaway for the "office party" at the police station down the road, the right to hunt loli; the right to hookers and blow, the latter of which was invented in Europe, yet the governments continue to butt-rape their own people...why I hear you cry.
The Zionist Jew menace is ravaging politics in Zooropa which it controls through the Illuminati, cable TV sports channels and the rights listed above funnily enough. Many brave ministers and senators in the Zoo are beginning to think about universal suffrage (which is the right of everyone to vote) in a new way, is not the suffrage of all men the cause of this situation? Populist politicians pandering to the public's every whim and talking crap (which euro-fags are good at) whilst taking genuine freedoms away every day? Plans are in place to take the right of everyone to vote away soon as a last ditch effort to save the Zoo; it is expected that most people wont give a shit about this, as their too busy trying to eat their own faces and make French sex films that make no sense, but they will be happy all the same.
Zoorepean Cars
The Zooropean Anthem
Of course, Europe being the uncreative shithole it is, it just decided to steal "Ode to Joy" and make it it's anthem.
The OFFICAL national anthem lyrics are as follows, to the tune of Ode to Joy
(What do you want?)
(What do you want?)
Zooropa...vorsprung durch technik
Zooropa...be all that you can be
Be a winner
Eat to get slimmer
Zooropa...a bluer kind of white
Zooropa...it could be yours tonight
We're mild and green
And squeaky clean
Zooropa...better by design
Zooropa...fly the friendly skies
Through appliance of science
We've got that ring of confidence
And I have no compass
And I have no map
And I have no reasons
No reasons to get back
And I have no religion
And I don't know what's what
And I don't know the limit
The limit of what we've got
Don't worry baby, it'll be alright
You got the right shoes
To get you through the night
It's cold outside, but brightly lit
Skip the subway
Let's go to the overground
Get your head out of the mud baby
Put flowers in the mud baby
Overground
No particular place names
No particular song
I've been hiding
What am I hiding from
Don't worry baby, it's gonna be alright
Uncertainty can be a guiding light
I hear voices, ridiculous voices
Out in the slipstream
Let's go, let's go overground
Take your head out of the mud baby
She's gonna dream up
The world she wants to live in
She's gonna dream out loud
She's gonna dream out loud
Dream out loud
Zooropean Countries
- Albania
- Austria/Australia
- Denmark
- Finland
- France
- Germany
- Greece
- Habbo
- Hungary
- Iceland
- Ireland
- Italy
- GLORIOUS COUNTRY Kazakhstan
- Kosovo
- Latvia
- Lithuania
- Moldova
- Netherlands
- Norway
- Poland
- Portugal
- Romania
- Serbia
- Spain
- Sweden
- Switzerland
- United Kingdom
- Vatican City
-
Turkey
Trolling Europeans
If you're going to troll Europeans, realize first that Europeans are widely known as being among the easiest people to troll. If you need more proof of this fact, refer to the article about America, or go to Jewtube and find videos that "bash" our glorious people's republic. Europeans seem to have a complete inability to recognize obvious trolls or copypasta, thus, it is recommended that only beginner trolls do it. Here are some easy ways to ensure a constant stream of lulz:
- Count
GLORIOUS NATIONTurkey as a part of Europe. - Act more patriotic than you actually are.
- Make fun of Europe's tolerance for Muslims.
- Talk about how easy Europeans are to troll.
- Point out how Turks and Russians are the only "Europeans" that have balls.
- Claim Americans invented anything that wasn't actually invented by Americans (this works especially on Britfags who will immediately jump over themselves to correct you while making posh-sounding "burns" about Americans).
- Claim to be Irish.
- Call "football" "soccer". Point out that the English called it soccer first.
- Change the names of food products that are named after European countries (e.g. "Freedom Fries", "Freedom Riesling", "GOP alla Marsala", etc)
- Brag about how much money you make despite your inferior education system.
-
Say you love George W. Bush. (Note: This should only be done as a last resort.)DONT DO THIS IT WILL, AT WORST CASE KILL YOU! - Remind them that being able to say "hello" in 7 different languages isn't the same as being able to fluently speak 7 different languages.
- When being lectured about Democracy remind them they have and are gradually becoming subjects of an unelected committee in what used to be a foreign city.
- Call them pussies for having gun control.
- Here's an easy target. Shitloads of Eurofags love The Exploited, especially Britfags, whom of which, are the easiest to troll. Even a retard could troll this video, which means it's perfect for you.
Gallery
 SENATVS POPVLVS QVE ROMANVS. "STFU", in Latin. |
 Typical EU fanboy comeback to an EU joke. |
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 European goth girls are hawt. |
 Yanks aren't sophisticated enough to masturbate to this picture. |
 What Europe is all about. |
Europe on YewTube
Apparently staged 'pie-gags' are still humorous in certain parts of Yurop.
See Also
Plan B
External Links
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