European
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A European is a resident of an ugly little peninsula on the western end of Asia. The main functions of the European are to worship Allah, beat people up over soccer games, dress like a homosexual, consume American pop culture and go online to inform Americans that they are inferior.
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[edit] European Culture
Instead of producing their own TV shows, Europeans watch American shows like Baywatch and the Simpsons. David Hasselhoff is the second-most popular man in European history after Adolf Hitler.
European movies consist of ugly old men and beautiful young women discussing the works of Derrida for hours on end. People watch European movies because the women are required by law to take their shirts off at least once.
No worthwhile music has ever been produced in mainland Europe except for Turbonegro. No worthwhile music has been produced in Britain since 1986. The Cheeky Girls are a good example of European music.
European food consists of fried lard, blood sausage and McDonald's.
[edit] European Stupidity
Europe is worse than the United States in every way. Examples:
- Europeans speak multiple irrelevant languages. Americans focus on English.
- Every single person in Europe looks like an unwashed heroine addict.
- American Indians have all been exterminated. The Germans often attempt to recreate this.
- Europeans' consistently avoid hygiene, including oral. A European with white teeth is a European with fake teeth.
- Criminals in Europe are laughable to non-Europeans, since yelling threats in a ridiculous accent is comical.
- Europe was originally intended to be a continent. When it was determined that its composite countries were worthless and accomplished nothing independently, they decided to call themselves the European Union.
Europeans are required to assert their self-proclaimed superiority in any online discussion they participate in. When the Germans declare a world war, they must then flail and cry for help.
[edit] European Humor
Humor does not exist in mainland Europe and people living there are as bewildered by it as the aliens in Galaxy Quest. If a European encounters American political satire online he will inform the world that the information on the site is factually incorrect and that this proves that "Yanks are ignorend." If you try to explain to the European that it is only a joke, he will stare at you blankly with drool running down his chin and soaking his Snoop Dogg t-shirt.
[edit] Trolling For Europeans
At the moment, the best way to troll for Europeans is to mention that Americans have swept the 2006 Nobel Prizes for chemistry, physics and medicine.
