Faux News
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Faux News (also known as Fox Noise, Fucks News, f"Fixed News" GOP TV, Our Leader's Glorious Official Republican Government News Network variations of these names or, by its cult worshippers, Fox News) is a network for Republicans, white trash, bitches, and 13-year-old boys. The flagship of the old media, Fox is one of the greatest sources of drama on teh internets since Bush stole the election last Thursday. Countless blogs and politcal commentary websites erupt into debate over the latest musings of Sean Hannity or that shemale Ann Coulter featured on the network.
Christianhillbilly gets his facts from Fox News (moar liek Fox JEWs, amirite?) because it the last remaining bulwark against the Jewish liberal media. Some argue that Rupert Murdoch is in fact Jewish, and did WTC to generate lulzy footage for his news empire to replay over 9000 times in any given week. Foreigners and Noam Chomsky hate Fox News because Fox covers liberals and terrorists getting raped by real men with guns. Supporters of Fox argue that the network simply reports the rape, and allows its viewers to decide if the victims were asking for it.
[edit] Typical Fox Reporters, Propaganda Contributors
- Shepard Smith, IRL self-hating semi-closeted homosexual
- Greta Van Susteren, Scientologist. Unclear if Greta knows about Xenu or the Wall of Fire.
- Oliver North, war criminal
- Sean Hannity: see friendship between Hannity and well-known New Jersey white supremacist radio host Hal Turner [1]
- Alan Colmes, self-hating pussy atheist jew that denies the existence of Bohemian Grove and Fox bias.
- Phil Shuman[2]: Thinks raiding Habbo Hotel and spoiling Harry Potter constitutes an Internet Hate Machine
- Bill O'Reilly, loves to fuck his co-workers while telling them to "shut up ..or put up"
Rachel MarsdenLOL FIRED
- Michelle Malkin, the hot-air anchor baby asian Ann Coulter
 Fox shows its true colors. |
 Video proof of the Fox Jews Channel. |
[edit] Examples of Fox News Logic
- Anonymous is a gang of hackers on steroids: internet terrorists, convening within a top-secret site in order to more effectively blow up yellow vans. You must buy a dog, close your curtains and install phone tracing and a new security system to prevent this.
- Heath Ledger committed suicide because he either watched the South Carolina Debates, was depressed about the drop in the stock market, or was just "weird."[3]
- AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE IS TERRORISM! [4]
- The Half Hour News Hour is not racist, nor biased; but rather, hilarious!? (correction: Fox Inc. worst mistake).
- Osama Bin Laden did WTC, NOT Jews.(this aside Osama is actually a jew too LOL)
- Fred Phelps is an evil man, yet gays are sub-human creatures that must be lynched.
- PSP is high powered computer with pron access.
- Fox News attempted humor with The Half Hour News Hour and failed.
- If you are an American Presidential Candidate, and you want to prove your patriotism by not wearing an American flag pin, you are a terrorist.
- The side of an alien boob deserves an Adult Only rating, because the woman which didn't play the game said so.
[edit] Fox News versus Anonymous
[edit] Fox News: Saving the World One Vidya at a Time
The biggest threat scapegoat for a god-fearing, fag-hating nation, aside from terrorists, liberals, liberal-terrorists, and atheist heathens, is the vidya. Jack Thompson is a prime candidate when it comes to completely unreliable "research" providing the reason your little boy raped a girl, stole a car, and murdered a number of people is not due to bad parenting, but a video game where he repeatedly pressed the X button. But we're not talking about any hack-lawyer who needs to be put into a retirement home this time, we're talking about a hack-psychiatrist named Cooper Lawrence. Dr. Lawrence (the term "Dr" being used in the lightest sense of the term, like Dr. Pepper) appeared on Fox News to discuss the psychological harm that can be educed by the popular vidya "Mass Effect." Surely, they're going to discuss the harmful effects of fighting an evil alien race, right? Nope! Faux News is going to discuss the three minutes of DIGITAL, FULL FRONTAL, TOTALLY EXPLICIT, FILTHY, UNNATURAL, MIND-CORRUPTING NUDITY! Seriously, they compared the Xbox 360 to Pandora's Box. Cooper gave her two cents about "all the research" and how teenagers with their developing minds see women as objects of desire. Amazingly, the smartest person there was from Spike TV, Geoff Keighley, who not only got Cooper to say that she never actually played Mass Effect, but that there was only a bit of alien side-boob. As Keighley tried to explain that nothing being said was true about the content of the game, and it was all blatant lies and bullshit, Faux News decided to cut off the liberal-fag-loving-terrorist, and went back to raging about children playing porn games. And then when they had their little moralistic circle-jerk about how awful it is, they all acted as if Geoff hadn't spoken at all.
Normally this kind of bullshit ends as a never-ending nerd rage on youtube, but a few days later, Cooper Lawrence got her just desserts on Amazon.com. Gamers calling Cooper on her bullshit flocked to wherever a review of her latest book "The Cult of Perfection: Making Peace with Your Inner Overachiever" could be deposited, and proceeded to ruin her reputation as a person with any amount of intelligence. Honestly, would you want to buy a self-help book from a person who makes arguments without research?
| —Anonymous Reviewer |
| —Anonymous Reviewer |
| —Anonymous Reviewer |
EA UNLEASHES THE FURY
After the interview EA executives called out Fox News's bullshit debate with an ALL CAPS letter debunking the lies that where spoken. Basically the letter defended the hundred of nerds who put in years to make this game.
| —Jeff Brown, VP of EA |
Result : EA does EPIC PWNAGE on Fox and is, for the first and last time in the history of the world, the good guy.
EA is taking Fox to Internet Court
Update: The Cunt Apologizes
So after receiving a lot of flack from all corners of the gaming world and from having much butthurt on amazon, the cunt actually decides to play the game after making her accusations. She than realizes that it would be easier for a guy to get and erection from a JC Penny's catalog than watching an alien bone a human
| —Cooper 'Pretentious Cunt' Lawrence |
Despite apologizing to the gaming community for all of the bullshit accusations, the rape over her book on amazon shall continue to prove a lesson to the people at faux news and anyone who goes on who makes any false accusations and promoting a book at the same time, will feel the wrath of the gaming community.
[edit] Intertubes H4x0r3d
On July 22, 2007, an illiterate 5th-grader found the intertubes root password by guessing where it was saved: On the Fox News website. Here's what he saw when he signed in:
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Fox News leaves their root images directory open for perusal.
[edit] Faux News Shoops Photos
On July 2, 2008, everyone's favorite propaganda hate machine ran a segment calling New York Times editor and reporter Steven Reddicliffe and Jacques Steinberg "attack dogs," because they mentioned that Fox News' ratings were slipping, probably because people don't want to be fed bullshit during the presidential elections. Fox thought this statistical data was an attack on their fair and unbalanced news coverage, so they counter-attacked the New York Times by having a circle-jerk about how Reddicliffe was fired from Fox, makes less money now working for the New York Times, and wrote the report because he haets Fox, and additionally, Fox posted altered photos of the two reporters to give them Jew noses, yellow teeth, receding hairlines, and darkened circles around their eyes. Showing the average intelligence of people who get their news from Fox, because who wants to get news from ugly people?
[edit] Taking on Fark
On August 17, 2007, Fox News attempted to h4x0r Fark and steal their internets. [5] However, since Fox's crack team of internet counter-hate machines is made up of people who regularly get pwned by script kiddies, they got absolutely nowhere and failed so hard that Rupert Murdoch crapped lazers.
[edit] More Valuable Information To Come From Fox News
[edit] Still "Fair and Balanced"
Proving they're still a well informed news organization, the Fox 11 report on January 31st, 2008, aimed at "cyber-bullying," included more top notch news reporting about the dangers of the internet. Don't miss the surprise cameo from YouTube's biggest crybaby Goronchev.
[edit] External Links
[edit] See Also
 Faux News is part of a series on Fox News | Allies
Ann Coulter | Matt Drudge | Sean Hannity | Joe Lieberman | Michelle Malkin | Rachel Marsden | Bill O'Reilly | Karl Rove | Rick Santorum | Rod Wheeler Enemies of State Anonymous | Al Gore | Barack Hussein Obama | Emos | Fred Phelps | Hillary Clinton | Hugo Chavez | The Internet | John Edwards | Liberals | Macaca | Mexicans | Logic | Osama Bin Laden | Ron Paul | Stephen Colbert | Terrorists Buy A Dog | Corruption of LOL | Exploding Van | HACKERS ON STEROIDS | INTERNET HATE MACHINE |
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Faux News is part of a series on Trolls. |
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Categories: Trolls | TV Shows | 4chan
