Facepunch Studios
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ THEY GOT TIRED OF PLAYING SOLO |
| |
| Type | Community |
| Founded | June 2005 |
| Location | London |
| Key people | Garry Newman |
| Industry | Faggotry, being Hacked randomly and fucked up |
| Products | Anti-lulz |
| Website | [[1]] |
Facepunch Studios was created 25 years ago by Garry Newman, a British cunt who realized that he could amass a horde of lonely dickfucks at the expense of an overrated Half-Life 2 mod. The site prides itself on being more "cultured" and "mature" than most internet forums (even though every single Internet forum ever has a "No flaming, racism, anything" rule), but this is largely ignored due to the fact that 99% of the forum's posts are SHIT!!! nobody cares about. Rules 1 and 2 are broken in almost every thread as half of the members claim to be /b/tards.
Facepunch members are also known for bitching and whining at admins for the stupidest fucking reasons. This may be because they are elitist 12-year-olds (See: Hezzy) cuntrags suffering from sand in their vagoos.
[edit] Origins and Facepunch trying to be hilarious
Facepunch is the primary creator for Garry's Mod. Although the forum was originally intended for Garry's mod, it now has many other sections that now attract the greatest men of all time, Furry porn addicts, a bunch of political correctness smarts, and the general bunch of nerds that you would expect to never see leave an internet forum, or traverse outside. Many of the nerds claim that they have lives, and often go outside, but this was proven to be a lie. Also cocks. Or maybe THE CAKE IS NOT A LIE! Btw, a face puncher just hacked your dramatica.lulz we do not forgive. we do not forget. everyone is anonymous, either facepunch, either anon fags. whatever. let me show you how i roll. never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down. Also we laugh at YouTube's expense. Like Chris faggot, and all of YouTube's biggest fags that was posted on your homosexual YouTube article on this very known site. We laugh at the not so serious site of Dramatica, since we know someone will edit this shitty article. i see what you did there. Oh we do type in all caps. Whoever edits this article dies, and has butt secks with all facepunch mods. whoever loses facepunch always wins. As you can see behind me, Facepunchers are terrible at being funny, and have a harmful superiority complex that causes them to dwell in their own cesspool of faggotry and wanting to be something they will never be accepted as to anyone else other than their mindless peers.
[edit] What you'll usually notice on Facepunch
A bunch of fucking losers, basically. Facepunch forum users are primarily known for being liberal fags, disliking people that hate gays (half of the members are giant nigger fags), having no sense of humor at all, worshiping some unfunny fag 'Garry' and quite literally spending their entire day on the forums. They love getting ratings with the forums "rating" system, all though they have yet to realize that these ratings don't quite get them to be "winners" or "funny" irl. These people are called rating whores. Good example of a rating whore is [Agoat.] (who, ironically, implies that he is a /b/tard, but just ends up becoming what he dresses up as.) Interestingly, the general IQ of Facepunch has been plummeting at a shocking rate ever since the creation of the OIFY in late 2004. Currently, the average IQ hangs just above the temperature of a meat freezer.
Oh, and this article writer is a wannabe nigger who fucks his mum 24/7. Nobody likes him and he has no friends. Stupid nigger. Despite evidence that he's just a white fatass with a goatee, he constantly claims that he's black. This may be due to the disease.
A lot of ass, or more notably Postal's ass.
[edit] Features of Facepunch
[edit] Gold Membership
In the forum's young days, Garry didn't want to spend money on bandwidth. Members could not search the site, nor could they see their postcount. The solution was simple: Gold Memberships. Just pay fifteen bucks and you get all kind of great benefits, like access to a special gold member forum and, the ability to see your postcount, Beta versions of Gmod, your own page where you could upload things, animated avatars, own gold member forum, being able to see reports, and peoples rant in the refugee camp. Nobody thought to question why Garry wouldn't allow searching, but would implement an extensively efficient "smartness system" Despite this, there remain to this day at least 10 and certainly not over 9,000 gold members.
[edit] Ragdoll Posing
The mod's ability to pose game characters became rapidly popular, and thus, a whole section of the forum is dedicated to it. There are indeed clever and well-planned comics, but a lot of it is shit like this or this.
[edit] Models/Skins
98% of all the "custom" models for GMOD are either ripped from other games (mostly anime-based games with lots of feminine-looking male protagonists or simple, mostly fugly reskins). Of course the average cunt posting fugly models/skins there, demands a rating and often encourages people to drop a few lines of criticism. Usually such threads end up getting locked after Dreadnought participates.
[edit] Criticism
The average GMOD player wants to be unique so he often creates cutom skins or rips Resident Evil or Final Fantasy models, so he can gain a better rating. In fact 102 % of all the content posted there is useless and that's where shit starts getting out of control:
The average GMOD player can't handle negative criticism. Not even when aware of the obvious lack of e-penis.
Example:
-"Look, I have made a model"
"You didn't make this model. You ripped it. It's the protagonist named YYY from game XXX. And the model is ugly, by the way."
-(Edits previous posts)"Yeah, that's what I was saying all the time, but if you can't say anything positive about my model, please leave my thread"
"Fgt, I just told you the truth."
-"Alright, that's enough! Could someone permaban this douchebag? He's obviously trolling."
"Sure, ban me. That'll definitely make 'your' model look better."
-"I've taken the files off the server. I won't release any more models. You're evil. *angst*"
-"What's going on here? I'm a moderator. I'm warning you; don't troll again. OK that's it, I'm a moderator, you're permabanned."
-"WOW THANKS MODERATOR THAT GUY WAS A JERK"
-"YEAH IF YOU HAVE NOTHING GOOD TO SAY DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL dfjsdljfhdasjhfdljh"
[edit] Valid Ban Reasons
- Having a sense of humor.
- Having a post number that ends in 5.
- Posting in the same thread as Mikfoz.
- Anything really.
[edit] The Ban List
Facepunch is utterly infamous for whipping out the banhammer at every possible opportunity. Like a hunter who keeps the heads of the creatures he slays, Garry and the moderators (mikfoz) keep a public list of all whom have been banned. Reasons for getting banned cross a very wide spectrum, anywhere from extensive flaming to posting threesomes of Gordon Freeman, Alyx, and Dr. Breen in the "comics" section. The ban list displays all of this, and more. It's worth looking at, though at the moment only shows the words "it will all become clear" [sic],and is similar to the rest of Facepunch, i.e. unfinished.
[edit] Nazi-ism
Most of Facepunch's members and all of its moderators are Grammar Nazis, but they managed to make the rules so pointlessly extreme that even Hitler himself would take a degree of offense. At first, moderators would ban for overuse of netspeak and flaming, which is understandable. Later, however, the moderators became lazy fucks and implemented an autoban system, which went so far as to give out bans for not using capital letters in the thread title, which didn't go on for very long as it all was for entertainment.
[edit] Smartness
The smartness system, which automatically adds or deducts "smartness" points based on the grammatical correctness of a member's post. The user generally receives one point for each flawless post, but loses about 7-20 for every minor error they make. Trolls quickly found ways to manipulate the smartness system, mostly by making a single post of the word "nigger" copied and pasted over 5,000 times. It became a contest to see who could lose the most smartness in one post, the current champion being somewhere around two billion.
What many people don't realize is that a higher smartness only means that you post more. That being said, a person with a smartness of 10,000 is actually a fucking moron IRL, due to the fact that most of their pathetic life has been wasted posting on Facepunch.
Apparently, if you edit your fucking post in the forums, you gain over 9,000 brains. So no one will act like a now resurrected Hitlerfag.
Update: The smartness system was recently updated by fag Garry. Everyone now has 5,000 less smartness, which is producing people with negative amounts. This proves that only those with negative smartness can safely combat the Grammar Nazi SS. This EDitor had to go completely grammar Nazi on this statement to make it even passably readable, unfortunately potentially ruining some passive lulz.
[edit] Archives
To stop the forums from being so motherfucking slow Garry decided to create an archives system much like the ones at Something Awful except that you don't have to pay to read old posts. He started to archive a shitload of posts which caused him to close the forum down for a couple of hours meaning that fellow Facepunchers could have ample time to cut themselves. After archiving thousands of posts he then decided that the archives was dumb and decided to put them back into the forum. Which is funny because that's what radium did.
[edit] Moderator Elections
Some people want to moderate Facepunch, probably because they get a big boner when they're having dreams about banning people. If you want to become a moderator of Facepunch you don't have to be a mature, responsible person. You just have to be popular. The whole 'moderator election' process is just some 12 year old shouting "I really like Dumb Faggot because he posts a lot and is my best friend ever he'd be the best moderator"
[edit] The Internet OIFY
The OIFY is one of the darker regions of the internet, though not quite as much so as WWOEC. It came into being sometime around September 2005, when Garry, Hezzy, and other FP mods decided that rather than ban the fuck out of all the forum's trolls, they would instead create a separate forum for the trolls to post in. Thus, the internet OIFY was born. Though always the OIFY in the heart of its retarded members, it has had multiple titles:
- Firerain's Forum: We Have Pizza
- Firerain's Furry Forum
- Gmod Sex Poses and Furry Cartoons
- Hattie Fergunson Pretentious Cheese Wog
- The Bears Asshole
- And the list goes on...
The OIFY is now hidden to protect the anti-lulz from being tainted by it (an unnecessary step because no lulz have ever come out of the OIFY).
[edit] Content
Two years ago the OIFY was considered to be the sewage pit of Facepunch Forums. Now, perhaps thanks to the magic of inbreeding, it has gotten worst. The original population has been reduced to roughly 5 screaming retards and a pack of furfags. If you go to the OIFY, you may notice that all the threads appear to be created by autistic basement-dwellers, this is because they are. All threads are such inane bullshit that the mere gazing upon one will make you more retarded than before. Occasionally an admin will pop in to have their 1-inch dick sucked but other than that their is no oversight. The OIFY, like /b/, from time to time contains child porn and even posts that will request a massive circle-jerk of "pink nipple" rating in return for the said CP link or image.
The OIFY has attracted a fair share of humanity's greatest failures, but possibly the greatest is verynicelady. With a horse like face and a known pedo training business, VNL is the epitome of all Facepunch philosophy. Don't forget the masses of malware.
[edit] I Demand a Refund: The Ballad of Monkey_123
Not too long ago, Garry decided he was well off without Gold members. After removing and replacing the option to go gold multiple times, he decided he would instead simply raise the price from $15 to $1,000. People could still become gold, that is, if they wanted it that much. In one OIFY thread, KPunch joked that the 1,000 dollar price was a trick and the upgrade would be free. Like the brilliant man he was, fellow member Monkey_123 believed it and without any doubt, upgraded using his mother's PayPal account. Unfortunately, the $1,000 price turned out to be real, and Monkey_123 was soon wallowing in a pool of foolishness and self-despair. Much lulz ensued, and Monkey_123 was forever branded with the words of his plea for help. The ordeal resulted in a fiasco in which Monkey's mom emailed Garry, asking for the money back. There is still some debate as to the legitimacy of the letter, and as to whether Monkey's family is really rich or just internet rich.
Then before he was permanently banned, he deleted the post forever more.
[edit] Pentrazemine: The Retard
Pentrazemine was a potential Internet Hate Machine who thought he was going to hack Facepunch because he got banned for posting cp of himself. He was casted out by Facepunch (what a terrible punishment!) even though most of the members there pm'ed him 67 times for "moar". He then created an account with a slight text change and made a thread stating he was going to hack the site. Postal's ass was the reply.
see: The Great Hack Of Facepunch
[edit] mikfoz
mikfoz is a super moderator for Facepunch, meaning he has no life and only spends his time banning people. Not moderating, banning. Posting a thread on Facepunch is like playing Russian Roulette with all the chambers loaded, and you know whos gun it is? It's mikfoz's. He wants you dead.
How this idiot got super moderator is unknown, although it's probably because he made some shitty review for Garry's Mod which proves that you don't have to be mature you just have to make something that Garry likes and he'll give you access to everything.
He's also over 9,000 years old.
[edit] Firerain
Firerain was unbanned on Garry's birthday. He was the best member Facepunch ever had by far. He could make all the awesome lulzy posts he wanted and not get banned. Unfortunately, FP users hated him, proving their commitment to faggotry. Garry had made an order to not ban him, though. The reason for this is that the users were getting pissed about getting banned all the time for stupid trivial shit, and the mods simply wanted people to accept their banhammer fetish. After a short while, Garry permabanned Firerain, proving his commitment to faggotry. This is a bad thing. A great man has been destroyed by the mods and the garry. The best course of action right now is to make an account and spam the forum with "UNBAN FIRERAIN" or some shit. Do it
[edit] The Hezzy Massacre
- Quoted from the aptly named "Why Hezzy?"
Most of us are shocked by the light-hearted permabans that Hezzy has been throwing at innocent members here on Facepunch. Why aren't anyone stopping him?
To me, the cause of his behavior is unknown, but i suspect a planned attack. It all started with this thread i think:
http://forums.facepunchstudios.com/s...d.php?t=475519
Then Garry posted a thread that looked like the same kinda thing:
http://forums.facepunchstudios.com/s...d.php?t=475583
Garry's thread is kinda weird, but funny too. Maybe Garry is a part of it?
Suddenly this thread showed up:
http://forums.facepunchstudios.com/s...d.php?t=475600
Many members thought this was a joke, but Hezzy is on the warpath and has committed a perma-ban spree.
We have lost many great members including Jaanus, 1/4 life
What made Hezzy do a thing like this? He is supposed to be an idol. He is supposed to be an example of how we are supposed to act. He is supposed to be a big brother. But he decides to kill over 200 of us. Is this a conspiracy created in the goldmember forum? Is Hezzy drunk?
.So Hezzy. Why did you do this?
End quote
Approx. 300 Members were banned that day, most 05'ers. Then many threads sprung up calling for the removal of Hezzy as forum moderator. Most of these were either locked or the maker was banned (that fucking sucks).
[edit] MySpace whorefags
Quite frequently an epidemic in FacePunch is the occurrence of depressed 10-year-old MySpace douchebags who lack the life required to do anything more than defend their vent of teen angst known as "MySpace" and then masturbate to their own patriotism before being clobbered by a dump truck sized load of disagree and dumb ratings.
One such MySpace whorefag is a user known as K8_Ghost who made a thread in which "he" defended the sniveling guinea pigs that are the billions of 13-year-old girls populating the perpetual brothel called MySpace, and claimed that all FacePunch users are "insecure, belligerent, sociopathic ninnies who only oppose MySpace because they tried it and were too anti-social to take advantage of the gregarious experience that is MySpace". As the definition of MySpace whorefag holds true, K8_Ghost masturbated to his own patriotism shortly before being pummeled by an astronomical behemoth of negative ratings, and will go down in the record books as quite possibly the biggest MySpace whorefag of them all.
Many other emo sociopathic MySpace whorefags may lurk the forums, notably Evil_Paper before he allegedly committed suicide (a rumor now known to be a crock of shit), but the cretinous douchebags that make up the population of FacePunch must lay in wait to impudently bombard the next MySpace whorefag to rear its ugly head in the depths of the General Discussion.
[edit] June 4, 2008: Batshit Insane
Last Thursday, the Moderator AndyVincent went absolutely batshit insane and banned just about every moderator on the forums including the historic Hezzy, Mikfoz, and Facepunch's one and only, Garry.
He proceeded to ban every mod caught within his ever far-reaching rage until banned by a rather unknown mod (a Moderator whom materialized in the nick of time), and thus his spree of pure win live a mere five minutes... 'Twas only seconds before the masses "freaked the fuck out." With the most of the mods banned, the moderators left behind in AndyVincent's attack fought back... with balls of steel. They began to ban people left and right, ripping and tearing at all that could have been in on the ass rape. A truly sad day that was indeed.
[edit] June 25th, Batshit insane V2
[edit] What Facepunchers Have To Say About This Article!
| —Roo-kie |
| — ViralHatred, being an internet though guy |
| —BubbaGama, doing it wrong |
| — Alxnotorious |
| — SHoGuNN3R, The tard with an abstract art avatar lool |
| — the_killer23 |
| — Pentrazemine |
| — Butthurter |
| — Combine_dumb |
| — h2ooooooo |
| — Woutsie - aka the biggest faggot on facepunch |
| —Beaverlake |
| —war_man333 |
| —Wommle |
{{Quote|
| —Lazarus |
[[Quote|
[edit] Am i doing it right
| Monkey pie AM I DOING IT RIGHT ???? :( :(}}
| — QUITE1337, as he enjoys his crumpet and tea while complaining how it's not fair that he has no freedom like the USA does. |
| — TehDoomCat, or more commonly by his slavename, Niggerfaggot |
| — Kondor58, being mentioned. |
| — Primus8, possibly the only contributor to Facepunch who can even spell "omniscient" |
| — Edli |
| — Bryanrocks0 |
| — blackXmesa66 |
| — Bryanrocks01 |
[edit] See Also
[edit] THE REAL HACK OF FP
June 25, 2008, a pair of guys Demoguy08 and pawnstick (who had hacked FP before, and banned garry! But garry removed that from the ban logs like a faggot so his followers would still worship him, not only that but a week before this, they had hijacked Moderators account.)got a hold of a Super Admins password and began fucking up FP beyond repair. Facepunch had setup a SUPER SECRET RESISTANCE, and was remaining loyal to God. They even thought of asking 4chan for help! Some dumbasses called the admins (NUMBER BELOW LOL!) and garry finally banned the godly genius, with a cock-snapping "Game Over". Facepunch was still in shambles and many members were masturbating all over their keyboards, shouting nigger, and other various banwords. Facepunch is still in shambles today, and surprisingly, a slightly better forum.
 4chan will help us, right? |
 REMAIN LOYAL TO YOUR FALLEN GOD |
 And nothing of value was lost. |
|
 GAME OVER MAN! |
[edit] Moderator List
This list is broken up into tiers to ease organization.
Admins
Super Moderators
- Dragon
- Love
- GunFox
- andyvincent
- DaveP
- Pr3dator B& after account hijack
- PacificV2
- mikfoz
- postal
- ReaperSWE
- TH89
Section Moderators
- !LORD M!
- Rusty100
- JLea
- Uberslug
- chris0132
- wind8ws
- Roo-kie
- Benji
- Terrenteller
- Sgt.Sgt
- Kathar
- teh_Shane
