Feminism
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| This article is a nominee for best article in the history of ED. Its poll isn't up right now but keep checking once a day here to vote on each new poll as it pops up. |
| —LOL WIMMINZ |
| —And no human cares about women's rights. |
Feminism is the belief that woman are actually people even though they are not, it is often compared to scientology. Some believe that feminism is a fight for equality, and that men and women should be treated equally, without regard to his or her gender. Of course, that is total horse. Feminism is the idea that women are inferior to men unless they do everything men do. A feminist is born when a 16 year old girl realises that she can't get a boyfriend in high school because she is either fat, a bitch, annoying, or has tits so saggy that she could teabag herself (usually mistakes the sagging for her tits being big) she will then claim that she doesn't need a man and is a strong, independent woman (as she cries herself to sleep because she will never know the feeling of a condom breaking inside her because upon the site of her, the dick will break itself on purpose and get out of fugly secks. Feminists come in many extremes, just like their whiny-ass "feel-sorry-for-us-men!" male counterparts, masculinists. At one end of the spectrum are the "grrl power" types, who've watched too many Sex and the City reruns and think feminism means fucking a lot and getting men to buy them jewelry; at the other end are the Valerie Solanas fanwomyn, who dream of someday shooting a talentless fag patriarch in a bad wig. The former is easier to deal with, but harder on your credit rating in the end. Nothing is worse than a Black feminist. It is understandable that their foremothers have been viciously molested. EVEN AS YOUNG GIRLS, AS WITH ONE YOUNG TEEN WHO WAS TOLD TO GET NAKED ON ALL FOURS AS SHE WAS PADDLED. So therefore it's ok as long as she can bake and make sammiches real good.
Contents |
What feminists do
| —Alexandra Koulikov A.K.A Dumb bitch |
Making all women, especially the real ones, look bad, feminists blame men for all that is wrong in the world. They always manage to find new and creative ways to blame men for the things that men do and blame men for the things that men don't do and blame men for the things that women do and blame men for the things that women fail to do. Their diet consists mainly of aborted fetuses and dead children. They believe that they are hiding this by spouting pro-choice messages all over the place, although they are clearly treacherous, sneaky little hypocritical liars bent on destroying men and America the World.
And, when they need to take a breather from blaming men all day, they like to talk about the million or so ways in which men are clearly inferior to women and how terrible it is that men believe themselves to be superior to women. They also write things like The Female Privilege Checklist and write histrionic LiveJournal entries on the dialectical nature of the female orgasm. A.
Consider feminist's motto: "Comforting the afflicted, afflicting the comfortable." Doesn't this speak to a well-put-together group of people? Doesn't it sound like the kind of assholes who come up to you in a cafe and ask you weird questions about things you don't want to think about, then take your dumbfounded silence to mean your paradigm has been thoroughly rocked? Whereupon, they go to some basement and masturbate to Oprah while eating cheesecake. Women!
Oh yeah, totally forgot, they don't have to sign up for the draft and die for their country like men are forced to do. That wouldn't be fair and equal to them.
Famous feminist quotes: "I GOT DUMPED BY A GUY I LOVED WITH MY WHOLE HEART BEFORE I WAS GOING TO DUMP HIM, NOW THE MEN IS RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING THAT WENT WRONG BOOHOOO" This makes all women look bad even though some aren't feminists or whores.
They are also known for the manslaughter of chivalry and general mannerism that made the very people they hate, treat them like women, instead of second class citizens. To this day there is only one member of the chivalrous race living in this world, our studies lead us to believe that he exists in a very, very cold place.
"Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians" Pat Robertson, US Politician, 1992]]
Regular Practices
 feminazi in action. |
 If he volunteered for this shit I'd kick him too. |
 For the lulz |
 |
Dont' feel too bad - they're probably enjoying it.
What feminists think
Subsequent to the sexual revolution, have emerged as as Zionist counter-revolutionary force, to the end of brainwashing the world, through various machinations and a regimen of agitprop, to establish that women do not want money for sex. This of course is an goal that cannot be achieved, being akin perhaps to disproving the existence of gravity. Feminists are inevitably controlled by as capitalism and consumerism are dependent on misdirected libidinal energies. Jews would thus sell far less bulls feminists did not exist.
Feminists claim that men are afraid of powerful women, and that women should be afraid of men because men pull all the strings in society. They profess that marriage is oppressive and bad for women, as it signifies the legal ownership of a women by a man. Only a lesbian relationship deserves unbounded admiration and praise. Gays are welcome to copulate together since they will never bear any fruit. Feminists believe that, with some effort, samesex reproduction is possible; parthenogenesis is the way of the future.
Feminists are outraged that women's voices are being suppressed in this male world. That is why they yell at men to suppress their supposedly over-represented voices. They say that women are not being respected as equal adults by men, who are a bunch of whining babies anyway.
They will argue against the presence of men in all-female institutions and then demand membership in all-male institutions. They will have a conniption whenever men divorce their wives (what a bastard!) and will celebrate whenever wives divorce their husbands (she's liberated, baby!). Yes, if there's one thing that feminists love, it's equality. However, in 2001, a poll was taken at a World Organization of Women convention asking how many women approved of ending women's suffrage- and sixty-seven percent responded that women's suffrage was the biggest negative influence on American women. Indeed, most American women realize that our Islamic boogeymen are actually far more enlightened.
It is also a proven fact, as of the interests survey of 2004, that feminists are people that prefer to eat carpet than clean it. Not only this but would rather chop dick than suck it, these are women who are not human, but psychos sent to destroy the happy existence of MANkind
Feminism in the future
One of the main reasons that we will never be able to have the Democratic Party in power is because liberalism is often tied to feminism, homosexuality, and countering intolerance with even more intolerance. If, however, conspiracy theorists manage to IRL troll enough people into hating the Republican government, then there will be nothing to counter Hillary Clinton from going into power. (Assuming the /b/lackup doesn't rape her, which is highly unlikely at this point. LOL HE DID IT) Why Hillary? Because feminazis all over the country will have nothing better to do than swamp the voting booths unless their husbands weren't pussy whipped enough to cunt punt them back in the kitchen and bedroom.
Since Hillary is renowned for chopping off her husband's dick and sewing it onto herself, she'll want to spread the principle nationwide and waste all of her salary on funding a scientific project to build an army of Black hermaphroditic dykes in an attempt to make men obsolete, thus fulfilling Solanis's dream. Since most women are dumb enough to follow Hillary because she's the only female candidate running, they'll soon form militias to hunt down men for sport and make room for this new breed of hermaphrodites to spread their disease. Japan would hopefully intervene by dropping a bunch of bombs wrapped in used school-girl panties all across North America.
Feminazis and other variations
All feminists are a whiny bunch. This is because they all are members of a group known as feminazis. The feminazis are proud of their body and express their self-love by trying to get as fat as possible. The more flesh, the better. Feminazis hate men because they all, at one point or another, were almost raped.
Feminazis like to shave their heads and never shave the rest of their body, because they respect the work of the Goddess. They wear wife-beaters and combat boots and celebrate how beautiful life is when you realize the wonders of lesbian love. It is well-known scientific fact that all feminazis are fucking lemons.
Many feminazis become vegan hippies, cook and eat lots of cake, smoke pot, smell wonderfully hormonally full and sing crudely misandrist folk songs at your local open mic.
Most feminists don't like being called feminazis, often giving the argument that they're "not invading Poland." Because, you know, Nazis haven't existed since World War II ended.
Feminism is one of the leading causes of TL;DR on the Internets today.
Feminism has also been known to be used by women in conjunction with chivalry.
Feminism can cause lymphoma in men. Just ask David Bale, father of Batman. Or better yet, dont, lol.
Feminist LiveJournal communities
Populated entirely by twatarded lesbians and emasculated self-hating men who can't get laid by conventional means, feminist communities on LiveJournal share many qualities, the most notable of which is a group tolerance of dissent previously only demonstrated by Orwell's Ingsoc.
Most of them are self-described "safe spaces for women," which in practice means anything men say is devalued, patronizing, and an attack on their ideological comfort. If you dare broach how patriarchy also hurts men, expect a ten page flame war and personal death threats.
Every member of a feminist community claims to have been raped, molested, or at the very least almost raped. Why? Sisterhood is all about sharing personal experiences, and if some evil man hasn't forcibly ravaged your cunt, what have you to share? Stories about the mythical "glass ceiling?" No, that was fucking 1970, and the bar has been raised.
As much as feminists would love to prevent rape, they love preventing the prevention of rape even more. Any suggestion that females should have a hand in the prevention of rape is labeled as victim blaming. Thus, when those Riot-grrl bitches paraded around in torn up miniskirts, skimpy tanktops, smudged lipstick, and had a 40 of Olde Englishe in hand, they weren't asking to get some surprise sex. Right...
It is best for men to go to these communities and stir up some lulz by means of amusing stories such as this.
Dealing with feminists
Be sure not to mistake a strong woman for a feminazi. When dealing with a feminist, take careful consideration not to catch their faggotry. Some precautions may include staying away from lesbian gatherings and not going to 12chan. If you come into contact with one of them, go home and be an hero before you spread it to others. The only reason to even look at one is for the purpose of lulz generating. A real shame, because so many college lesbians are really hot, especially those femme genderfuck women. The best way of verbally dealing with a feminazi is to tell her to "shut the fuck up, and pop the kettle on love, 2 sugars thanks". Also, the mention of Dick Masterson will cause any feminist to shit a brick whilst masturbating to his sweetass Aviators. Or you could just find the hole in their logic as seen here (Video down replaced with this cocksucker's faggotry that has some points?)
This is what happens if you mess with a feminist
Feminazi gets it
Trolling feminists
Since feminists have no sense of humor pissing them off is about as simple as getting a dog to bark at a fire truck but good for epic lulz.
- Tell her "Quit yer bitchin' get in the kitchen and make me a sammitch!"
- Crapflood pictures of bondage porn or really almost any kind of porn!
- Politely explain to her that most men wouldn't talk to women if they didn't have vaginas.
- Tell her that you voted for Obama or anyone else who opposed Hillary
See Also
- Bitch
- Cunt
- Lesbian
- Castration
- Cheryl Lindsey Seelhoff
- Cynthia
- Domestic Violence
- SoSuave.net: feminist take on a retarded pick-up advice site
- Rebecca - a male to female transsexual who claims to be feminist
- Mikeeusa - a valiant defender of the rights of woman
- Cosmopolitan - a publication for women who think they're empowered but are actually just sluts.
- Dick Masterson - the anti-feminist
- Misogyny
- Politics and the city A website intended to get women more interested in politics, but which assumes that unless it's pink and fluffy then women won't be interested.
- Fat Princess - A video game that's already got feminist knickers in a twist.
- Please
- Rape
- Rape Checklist
- Vagina dentata Their ultimate weapon
Links
- feminist - The LJ Feminist community.
- feminist_rage - Feminist Rage community, mainly devoted to rants.
- feminazis - The true center of feminazi thought, the last redoubt of pure and unabashed feminazism.
- Maddox debunks feminism
- boo hoo he fucked me and now he never calls, feminazis attack
- Christian heroes expose feminism.
- Kathy Fire - MOTHERRAGE The Feminist National Anthem --You're long overdue for your hour of castration!!
- A feminist TARTlet
- Typical Feminist Website
- More Failure: a group promoting "Lesbian Supremacy"
