Forumwarz
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Forumwarz is a lulztastic RPG that mocks the internets and all its retarded glory. It is full of chan memes and cock jokes, and is essentially ED in game form. Unfortunately, the site crashes every five minutes between 6am - 11am EST due to shit bandwidth, so don't expect to use the site during that time.
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[edit] Gameplay
Instead of dungeons the game has forums, populated by threads instead of monsters. Hit points are replaced by ego for the player, and pwnage for the threads. The player attacks the thread, pwning it. The forum regulars angrily fight back, bruising your ego. The aim is to fully pwn all the threads before your ego drops too low for you to continue.
The day after your victories, random strangers on the internet will send you junk in the mail that you can sell for cash (the game's treasure drop system). This cash can be used to buy a better computer, personal effects and lots and lots of happy pills to restore your ego in battle.
[edit] Characters
[edit] Camwhore
The mage class. Comes replete with the following:
- Enormous damage. One crotch shot can cause more disruption to a thread than many, many irritating blinking gifs. At the higher levels, just one threat to call the partyvan can have all but the toughest forumgoers running for cover.
- Equipment like fuck-me shoes and designer shades that provide huge boosts to charisma, offensiveness and self confidence.
- Healing abilities and buffs in the form of being a completely self-absorbed bitch.
Of course, the upkeep on a camwhore is astronomical. The cost of repairing an iBook and a pair of Paris Hilton glasses can run into hundreds for just one raid, and if you run out of lipstick you're FUCKED.
[edit] Troll
The tank class. Trolls do little damage because in the grand scheme of things, dick jokes and annoying ASCII art just aren't that shocking. As a tradeoff they are nearly impossible to hurt as they know they are doing it for the lulz, and this effect is compounded if they post while fapping. Being a Forumwarz troll is thus a tedious but spiritually rewarding affair.
As well as the drugs which chill you out that all the characters have access to, trolls get access to drugs like shitty alcohol, jimson and cocaine. You know, the stuff that turns you into a BIGGER cunt. They can also increase their "Douchebaggery" by buying fun things like CP, illegal immigrant servants and - the Holy Grail of all trolls - the Mona Lisa with a Hitler moustache drawn on it.
[edit] Emokid
The bezerker class; the lower his ego drops, the more irritating and shrill he gets. This means that his class has the most variables thrown in, and makes for the least boring game (but then, why would you want to?)
The enormous stat boosts that Emos gain by getting themselves hurt were originally so excessive that the game system had to be rejigged to nerf them. Butthurt Emo players lurk everywhere in Forumwarz, dreaming of the day when the South shall rise again.
[edit] Re-Re
The ultimate character class. Pure, elegant and unsullied like a Buddhist monk, the Re-Re is charged with crushing the whole internet beneath his heel using no abilities or special items whatsoever - APART FROM FLOODING IT WITH CATS.
Only the completely hardcore choose to remain Re-Re.
[edit] Protips
- Before Shallow's "Trust Exercise," make sure you buy all the curatives you need. About 600 Flezz worth of heavy-duty uppers should be enough to get you through.
- The third time you drop Ravit's FBO code, a cop will turn up and shut you down until you pay a 1000 Flezz bribe. Make sure you have it squirreled away.
- Trolls can wear glasses but they don't have access to the glasses store. You should check the pawn shop every day if intend to buy some.
- Don't sell your old stuff. If you try grinding with high end equipment you'll end up paying all your lootz back in upkeep.
[edit] Gallery
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[edit] External Links
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Forumwarz is part of a series on Gaming. |
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