Freedom
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Freedom comes in two forms: Old Freedom and Freedom 2.0, the latter often invoked with the mysterious phrase "9/11 NEVAR FOREGET!111." Make sure you don't confuse them. Both are a good justification for violence and other lulz.
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[edit] Old Freedom
This is the type of freedom where basically you get to do what you want unless it directly fucks somebody over, and that person is not someone whom you legally own. This type of freedom is very dangerous and harmful, as Rick Santorum will gladly explain to you. Through the miracle of progress, the earth has been purged of it, at least in the legal sense. Only libertarians (not to be confused with Liberians) and Europeans talk about it much anymore, which is good because its early supporters like Thomas Jefferson and George Washington were bad men who owned many slaves.
[edit] Freedom 2.0
In this type of freedom, popularized by the USA, you have your choice of occupation and useless consumer goods, and some crazies say you have other freedoms but that's based on some inscrutable Illuminati bullshit like the Bill of Rights. I can't fucking understand that shit, can you? It's full of these vague, nebulous phrases like "government shall make no law...restricting the freedom of speech." What about the word fuck? Profanity hadn't been invented back in the 18th century, so this is obviously outdated. And what about advocating overthrowing the government? There's no way Patrick Henry or any of those guys would ever be down with that. It's a good thing we have men like George W. Bush to interpret that crazy gibberish. Important components of freedom 2.0 include asking "why do you hate America?" and denouncing terrorism and drugs as much as possible, preferrably while supporting and profiting from both as much as possible.
[edit] History of Freedom
Both forms of freedom were invented by the United States. This means we have a very long legacy of freedom, going back to our founding at least 100 years ago, which is how all the black people got here.
