Freewebs

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Noone on Freewebs can draw that well, but they certainly host it
Noone on Freewebs can draw that well, but they certainly host it

Freewebs is a website that provides webhosting as well as webbuilding, blogging and gay porn utilities, but sadly lacks any spellchecking features. Imagine combining livejournal with dreamhost and then taking out anything that is good about it, that is Freewebs. Web pages hosted here tend to be made by n00bs who don't have the skillz to learn to make webpages. What this means is that most sites rival MySpace in the flashy colours and stupid crap.

Freewebs is not only gay, it is also a breeding spot for grammar nazi's, fatties, furries and dolphin rapists.

Once you sign up for a Freewebs page, your inbox is automatically spamed with offers of penis enlargement, cheap sales on XXS condoms and other of the kind that is useful to the average freewebs user.

Contents

[edit] Free hosting features

Save those $$$ by hosting at Freewebs so you can have plastic surgery, just like aempirei's boyfriend
Save those $$$ by hosting at Freewebs so you can have plastic surgery, just like aempirei's boyfriend

Freewebs offers these free features for no cost (thats right, free)

  • Easy siter builder: So that no work is required to make these useless websites
  • Easy to use file uploader - At least 100 times slower than through FTP, requires reloading (and in some browers, relogging in) between each file. May not work, see searching Encyclopædia Dramatica
  • Photo albums: Display your collection of furry pornography for others to see
  • Blog: Livejournal - Features = Freewebs blogging service
  • Site promotion: Freewebs have a forum for saying how k3w1 your shit website is to other fucktarded lusers. The sites seriously get hits and positive guestbook comments even if there is no content
  • Web Polls: Would you like to see me in:
    1. A cheerleading outfit
    2. A netball uniform
    3. A all-body latex fursuit (OMG OXYMORON)
    4. Nothing
  • Web commerce - What's better than a useless website? One that sells useless shit. Web commerce lets you sell stuff or accept donations via paypal, therefore allowing for a lot of camwhoring from the 16-year-old girls who use Freewebs.
  • Web forms - Like webpolls except it can have text boxes etc and sends submissions to the users inbox. Freewebs lets a user have 30 submissions a month on a free account, which definately he/she won't use. If someone writes an stupid article on ED about their crappy Freewebs site, use this to spam the shit out of them with old memes and your mom jokes
  • Guestbook - "HI OMG" "OMG HI" "LOL OMG
  • Unlimited bandwidth - Physically impossible, not that anyone on Freewebs would need it

[edit] Freewebs paid features

Not that it makes sense, but these are Freewebs features that you have to pay for:

  • DNS - This is what lets you use a domain name
  • Domain name - What you need to hide the fact you are hosted on a shitty webhost
  • FTP - Quick way to upload, too 1337 for free service (all other webhosts, free or not, have this)
  • PHP and MySQL - Come on, anyone who could even write a simple guestbook in php wouldn't use Freewebs, let alone pay for it
  • Space - Want to store more hawt photos of yourself? Buy more space
  • Dignity - Oops, that's a mistake. You can't even buy that when you host at Freewebs

[edit] How to PWN shitty freewebs sites

[edit] What you will find on Freewebs

Expect to find more like this on Freewebs
Expect to find more like this on Freewebs

[edit] See also

[edit] Example sites

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