Friends page
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A friends page is where everything any of your friends or communities ever post is displayed in one place.
It's usually made of total fail and can get quite crudded, for example:
Thank you for taking the time to learn more about mental illness here on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Mental illness is a serious condition affecting at least one third of all Americans in a given year; this figure rises dramatically on the internets, where two out of three people are mentally ill. Some have attributed the rise of mental illness to angst-ridden emos who turn every little quirk into a big disease to affect drama. Whatever the case, there is an estimated eighty-five (85) percent chance you are mentally ill yourself.
[edit] Why you should care
Other than the fact that you yourself are probably seriously mentally ill, chances are quite high that, if you have engaged in any kind of online interaction (always practice safe hex!), you have had to deal with a mentally deranged individual. Usenet and Internet Relay Chat are the psychiatric institutions of the internets. On Usenet in particular, you will find people with anal characters disagreeing with each other on the placement of commas for a good part of their life (see alt.usage.english) and disruptive trolls with severe internet troll personality disorder.
Mentally ill people are also responsible for 99.999999% of teh drama on all of the internets combined. This includes everything from petty self-dramatizing spats to insane ravings. If you find yourself in the midst of a mentally ill person's drama, the best course of action is to stop, drop, and rock and roll! OMG!!!!! then you can like slap him around a bit with a large trout!
[edit] Degrees of being fucked up
Some people say being mentally ill is not about being fucked up; these people contend that it is about alternative takes on reality. These people, of course, are mentally ill themselves, and so this article will continue only with mainstream psychiatric opinion.
Mental illness is a kinder term for what is colloquially known as the state of being fucked up. That said, being fucked up comes in different flavors and degrees. Emo kids, filled with angst and tendencies towards self-mutilation, have classic borderline personality disorder. People with Asperger's syndrome are robots who, despite loading massive amounts of data onto their brains, are fundamentally incapable of regular social interaction. Cyber psychos will pass themselves off as the perfect lady or gentleman only to find out where you live so that they can come to your home to rape you up the ass while you sleep.
The Internets also regularly exposes people to the risk of developing new mental illnesses. Unprepared boys in puberty who find pictures of Carmen Electra risk developing a Carmen Electra complex.
[edit] Self-diagnosis in the community
Many Internet communities encourage people to fake having mental illness as a rite of entry. Notable examples include the Carmen Electra complex, restless leg syndrome, inconsistent personality disorder and LiveJournal.
[edit] How Psychology Can Cure YOU!
Do you often feel depressed? Do you often wish you were a different kind of person? Do you like sniffing glue and yiffing to furry porn for days and weeks on end? Well, if you do, fear not, for psychology is the cure to all your troubles!
Psychology is a wonderful, insightful branch of science that deals with the mind. It can cure anything from AIDS to autism to the rolls of lard around your midsection through a combination of therapy and medication. Psychology is based on the following sound scientific principles:
- Bitching to a random person, attention-whore style, for 30 minutes to an hour will heal your deep-seated emotional wounds;
- Getting to know your many, many mental and character flaws will make you a better, healthier person;
- Assholes with Ph.D.s in psychoanalysis are better mental influences than your closest, most trusted friends;
- Nothing is ever your fault. When you kill ten people in a drunken rage with a sharpened spork, you didn't commit a crime - you were simply displaying symptoms of your illness!
- At the same time, EVERYTHING is your fault, including your genes, the time you were in a car accident when you were 3 because mommy was drunk, and the time your ex-best friend killed your hamster with lye when you were on vacation - all due to your negative thinking. THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS!
- Everyone secretly wants to fuck/kill their parents, suck massive amounts of cock, save the world, destroy the world, become a tranny, eat delicious cocks with tartar sauce over a bed of lettuce, rape themselves with vegetables, and garghlahgahgalghalglaghSTFUNOOB!
- If you don't like psychology, then it's likely due to the fact that your superego has repressed conscious aggression that originated from libidinal impulses in your subconscious drives that manifested as the Electra Complex which came about because you lost your green magic marker when you were 2 years old and couldn't finish coloring your Sesame Street coloring book. Or you're a Scientologist
[edit] See also
- Self-diagnosis to find out what illness you have!
- Internet Disease Chart
The phrase rapidly became the popular subject of image macros and photoshops, many of varying quality.
[edit] What to do if you find a nest of centipedes in your vagina
- Don't panic. Studies show that 1 out of 3 women have centipedes or centipede-like-creatures in their vaginas.
- If you are a man and discover that you not only have a vagina, but that it is filled with centipedes, you may wish to panic a little.
- Centipedes are insectivores. In order to entice the centipedes to leave your vagina, you may wish to try the following fun home Blue Peter-esque project:
- You will need a tampon, a cockroach, some Scotch tape, and a centipede-filled vagina. If you are under 18, be sure to ask your parents' permission before attempting to remove centipedes from your vagina.
- Tape the cockroach to the tampon and insert it into your centipede-filled vagina.
- Slowly (and if possible, erotically) pull the string until the be-cockroached tampon slides out of your centipede-filled vagina.
- If you are lucky, one or more centipedes will have gone for the bait and evacuated your now slightly less centipede-filled vagina. Repeat until you are satisfied with the centipede density in your vagina.
- Helpful hint: since all centipedes are azn, if they are not taking the bait it may be helpful to cater to their particular tastes. You may want to soak the tampon in soy sauce, or use Pocky instead of a tampon. Avoid at all costs the temptation to substitute General Tso's chicken for the cockroach. Your vagina will thank you.
- Should you need to enlist the help of others, be sure to state in a loud, clear voice that there are centipedes inside you. This will cause them to ask where, and give you the opportunity to mutter "in mah vagina" semi-coherently like Hillary Swank in Boys Don't Cry. That's always funny.
- ????
- Profit!
[edit] Other places to find centipedes
According to a less-funny encyclopedia, centipedes can generally be found in tropical climates and in caves of the non-vaginal variety. However, considering that said encyclopedia made the centipede its mascot, they are no better than furries and thus not to be trusted.
Dramacratic researchers have made preliminary efforts to locate nests of centipedes in mangina, primarily by inserting rfjason into Dgt's rectum on centipede-hunting expedition. However, to date, vaginas remain the only confirmed habitat of nests of centipedes.
[edit] There are centipedes in my vagina and I'm not afraid to use them
Like everything else that comes into or out of your vagina, centipedes entitle you, as a woman, to special treatment. It is therefore your Goddess-given right—nay, verily, your duty—to mention your centipede-filled vagina at all opportunities. You should assume that everyone who disagrees with you, makes fun of you, or fails to buy you things from your wishlist does so because he is prejudiced against you due to your centipede-filled vagina.
The key to making your centipede-filled vagina into an effective bargaining tool is to bring attention to it as loudly as possible. Some suggested options are "JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A NEST OF CENTIPEDES IN MY VAGINA DOESN'T MEAN I'M ANY LESS OF A PERSON!" or "YOUR CENTIPEDE-FILLED VAGINA WOULDN'T FIT INTO AN MRI EITHER!"
[edit] Gallery
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 Don't act so surprised LittleCloud |
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 "Guess who's going to get some centipedes in her vagina?" |
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 Centipedes: whenever, wherever. |
 WoWfags? On my ED? |
[edit] See also
- X? In My Y? Spin off series
- Stingrays In My Vagina
- Dick ants
- Lotus Breast
- Eel girl Even worse
- Croik - famous for having said centipedes
- Spider
- Japanese Bug Fights
 Friends page is part of a series on Sex |
Fetishes |
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Latvians, like citizens of many tiny ex-Soviet nations (Lithuania, Kyrgyzstan) lack a cultural identity, and make up for this by claiming to have invented absolutely everything under the sun, including the television, alcohol, fire, and AIDS. The fact is, Latvians did NOT invent the television, alcohol, or fire. Sorry. They did, however, launch a distributed denial of service attack against Idlenet; thusly all botnets that are complete failures are referred to as Latvian botnets.
The primary export of Latvia is the fat suctioned from the gigantic ass of Areems and Gedroics, which is rendered and made into soap by more intelligent nations.
One of the more unique customs of Latvia is the Feast of Count Blacula, a local holiday during which Latvians cremate a goat and hurl the ashes at the "cretinous Jew".
Latvia's current president is Valdis Zatlers aka Doctor Doom, who rules the country with an iron fist. He would like to remind you that "Latvia is serious business, ya."
[edit] History of Latvia
Since the beginning of time, Latvia has been serious business. They were once a great power, the rulers of the Baltics, until Last Thursday, when over 9000 minions of Tacgnol came to bother Longcat, who was slumbering under the Baltic Sea. Longcat was all "Tacgnol doesn't know about my powers" and kicked his ass so that he could go back to sleep. All this happened on Latvia. It was like two sumo wrestlers fighting on a dime. Latvia got pwned, but then went back to looking at Pokérotica out of Penthouse.s, like citizens of many tiny ex-Soviet nations (Lithuania, Kyrgyzstan) lack a cultural identity, and make up for this by claiming to have invented absolutely everything under the sun, including the television, alcohol, fire, and AIDS. The fact is, Latvians did NOT invent the television, alcohol, or fire. Sorry. They did, however, launch a distributed denial of service attack against Idlenet; thusly all botnets that are complete failures are referred to as Latvian botnets.
The primary export of Latvia is the fat suctioned from the gigantic ass of Areems and Gedroics, which is rendered and made into soap by more intelligent nations.
One of the more unique customs of Latvia is the Feast of Count Blacula, a local holiday during which Latvians cremate a goat and hurl the ashes at the "cretinous Jew".
Latvia's current president is Valdis Zatlers aka Doctor Doom, who rules the country with an iron fist. He would like to remind you that "Latvia is serious business, ya."
[edit] History of Latvia
g of time, Latvia has been serious business. They were once a great power, the rulers of the Baltics, until Last Thursday, when over 9000 minions of Tacgnol came to bother Longcat, who was slumbering under the Baltic Sea. Longcat was all "Tacgnol doesn't know about my powers" and kicked his ass so that he could go back to sleep. All this happened on Latvia. It was like two sumo wrestlers fighting on a dime. Latvia got pwned, but then went back to looking at Pokérotica out of Penthouse.s, like citizens of many tiny ex-Soviet nations (Lithuania, Kyrgyzstan) lack a cultural identity, and make up for this by claiming to have invented absolutely everything under the sun, including the television, alcohol, fire, and AIDS. The fact is, Latvians did NOT invent the television, alcohol, or fire. Sorry. They did, however, launch a distributed denial of service attack against Idlenet; thusly all botnets that are complete failures are referred to as Latvian botnets.
The primary export of Latvia is the fat suctioned from the gigantic ass of Areems and Gedroics, which is rendered and made into soap by more intelligent nations.
One of the more unique customs of Latvia is the Feast of Count Blacula, a local holiday during which Latvians cremate a goat and hurl the ashes at the "cretinous Jew".
Latvia's current president is Valdis Zatlers aka Doctor Doom, who rules the country with an iron fist. He would like to remind you that "Latvia is serious business, ya."bout my powers" and kicked his ass so that he could go back to sleep. All this happened on Latvia. It was like two sumo wrestlers fighting on a dime. Latvia got pwned, but then went back to looking at Pokérotica out of Penthouse.s, like citizens of many tiny ex-Soviet nations (Lithuania, Kyrgyzstan) lack a cultural identity, and make up for this by claiming to have invented absolutely everything under the sun, including the television, alcohol, fire, and AIDS. The fact is, Latvians did NOT invent the television, alcohol, or fire. Sorry. They did, however, launch a distributed denial of service attack against Idlenet; thusly all botnets that are complete failures are referred to as Latvian botnets.
The primary export of Latvia is the fat suctioned from the gigantic ass of Areems and Gedroics, which is rendered and made into soap by more intelligent nations.
One of the more unique customs of Latvia is the Feast of Count Blacula, a local holiday during which Latvians cremate a goat and hurl the ashes at the "cretinous Jew".
Latvia's current president is Valdis Zatlers aka Doc Since the beginning of time, Latvia has been serious business. unique customs of Latvia is the Feast of Count Blacula, a local holiday during which Latvians cremate a goat and hurl the ashes at the "cretinous Jew".
Latvia's current president is Valdis Zatlers aka Doctor Doom, who rules the country with an iron fist. He would like to remind you that "Latvia is serious business, ya."bout my powers" and kicked his ass so that he could go back to sleep. All this happened on Latvia. It was like two sumo wrestlers fighting on a dime. Latvia got pwned, but then went back to looking at Pokérotica out of Penthouse.s, like citizens of many tiny ex-Soviet nations (Lithuania, Kyrgyzstan) lack a cultural identity, and make up for this by claiming to have invented absolutely everything under the sun, including the television, alcohol, fire, and AIDS. The fact is, Latvians did NOT invent the television, alcohol, or fire. Sorry. They did, however, launch a distributed denial of service attack against Idlenet; thusly all botnets that are complete failures are referred to as Latvis Zatlers aka Doc Since the beginning of time, Latvia has been serious business. unique customs of Latvia is the Feast of Count Blacula, a local holiday during which Latvians cremate a goat and hurl the ashes at the "cretinous Jew".
Latvia's current president is Valdis Zatlers aka Doctor Doom, who rules the country with an iron fist. He would like to remind you that "Latvia is serious business, ya."bout my powers" and kicked his ass so that he could go back to sleep. All this happened on Latvia. It was like two sumo wrestlers fighting on a dime. Latvia got pwned, but then went back to looking at Pokérotica out of Penthouse.s, like citizens of many tiny ex-Soviet nations (Lithuania, Kyrgyzstan) lack a cultural identity, and make up for this by claian botnets.
The primary export of Latvia is the fat suctioned from the gigantic ass of Areems and Gedroics, which is rendered and made into soap by more intelligent nations. toms of Latvia is the Feast of Count Blacula, a local holiday during which Latvians cremate a goat and hurl the ashes at the "cretinous Jew".and AIDS. The fact is, Latvians did NOT invent the television, alcohol, or fire. Sorry. They did, however, launch a distributed denial of service attack against Idlenet; thusly all botnets that are complete failures are referred to as Latvis Zatlers aka Doc Since the beginning of time, Latvia has been serious business. unique customs of Latvia is the Feast of Count Blacula, a local holiday during which Latvians cremate a goat and hurl the ashes at the "cretinous Jew".
Latvia's current president is Valdis Zatlers aka Doctor Doom, who rules the country with an iron fist. He would like to remind you that "Latvia is serious business, ya."bout my powers" and kicked his ass so that he could go back to sleep. All this happened on Latvia. It was like two sumo wrestlers fighting on a dime. Latvia got pwned, but then went back to looking at Pokérotica out of Penthouse.s, like citizens of many tiny ex-Soviet nations (Lithuania, Kyrgyzstan) lack a cultural identity, and make up for this by claian botnets.by claian botnets.
The primary export of Latvia is the fat suctioned from the gigantic ass of Areems and Gedroics, which is rendered and made into soap by more intelligent nations. toms of Latvia is the Feast of Count Blacula, a local holiday during which Latvians cremate a goat and hurl the ashes at the "cretinous Jew".and AIDS. The fact is, Latvians did NOT invent the television, alcohol, or fire. Sorry. They did, however, launch a distributed denial of service attack against Idlenet; thusly all botnets that are complete failures are referred to as Latvis Zatlers aka Doc Since the beginning of time, Latvia has been serious business. unique customs of Latvia is the Feast of Count Blacula, a local holiday during which Latvians cremate a goat and hurl the ashes at the "cretinous Jew".
Latvia's current president is Valdis Zatlers aka Doc
Since the beginning of time, Latvia has been serious business.
unique customs of Latvia is the Feast of Count Blacula, a local holiday during which Latvians cremate a goat and hurl the ashes at the "cretinous Jew".
Latvia's current president is Valdis Zatlers aka Doctor Doom, who rules the country with an iron fist. He would like to remind you that "Latvia is serious business, ya."bout my powers" and kicked his ass so that he could go back to sleep. All this happened on Latvia. It was like two sumo wrestlers fighting on a dime. Latvia got pwned, but then went back to looking at Pokérotica out of Penthouse.s, like citizens of many tiny ex-Soviet nations (Lithuania, Kyrgyzstan) lack a cultural identity, and make up for this by claiming to have invented absolutely everything under the sun, including the television, alcohol, fire, and AIDS. The fact is, Latvians did NOT invent the television, alcohol, or fire. Sorry. They did, however, launch a distributed denial of service attack against Idlenet; thusly all botnets that are complete failures are referred to as Latvian botnets.
The primary export of Latvia is the fat suctioned One of the more unique customs of Latvia is the Feast of Count Blacula, a local holiday during which Latvians cremate a goat and hurl the ashes at the "cretinous Jew". After this tragedy, they claim to have founded the Silver Circle. They also claim to have invented Politcasm and ground meats, the only things they actually did do, but, as always, they did it wrong.
The national sport of Latvia is Wayfinder, as it has been ever since last Thursday.
[edit] Latvia Today
Latvia suffers an infestation of its Russian enemies, after they realized how shitty Russia was and snuck into the nearest country to give AIDS.
Most Latvians are Satanist, because after they got raped by Stalin last Thursday, they're still butthurt. The others just don't give a shit.
Everyone in Latvia watches Television. One Latvian TV station, Howiereportinglive, won the THRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLS from Scotty Vanity. Latvia is also unfortunate enough to have MTV Latvija, which continuously broadcasts shitty emo wigger music and Unfunny reality shows.
[edit] National Anthem of Latvia
Now this is a story all about how my
Country got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I become a boring country called Latvia.
In the west Soviet Union born and raised
the fat suctioned
One of the more unique customs of Latvia is the Feast of Count Blacula, a local holiday during which Latvians cremate a goat and hurl the ashes at the "cretinous Jew". After this tragedy, they claim to have founded the Silver Circle. They also claim to have invented Politcasm and ground meats, the only things they actually did do, but, as always, they did it wrong.
The national sport of Latvia is Wayfinder, as it has been ever since last Thursday.
[edit] Latvia Today
Latvia suffers an infestation of its Russian enemies, after they realized how shitty Russia was and snuck into the nearest country to give AIDS.
Most Latvians are Satanist, because after they got raped by Stalin last Thursday, they're still butthurt. The others just don't give a shit.
Everyone in Latvia watches Television. One Latvian TV station, Howiereportinglive, won the THRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLS from Scotty Vanity. Latvia is also unfortunate enough to have MTV Latvija, which continuously broadcasts shitty emo wigger music an On the Baltics is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool
And all shootin' some homosexuals outside of the school ow I become a boring country called Latvia.
In the west Soviet Union born and raised
the fat suctioned
One of the more unique customs of Latvia is the Feast of Count Blacula, a local holiday during which Latvians cremate a goat and hurl the ashes at the "cretinous Jew". After this tragedy, they claim to have founded the Silver Circle. They also claim to have invented Politcasm and ground meats, the only things they actually did do, but, as always, they did it wrong.
The national sport of Latvia is Wayfinder, as it has been ever since last Thursday.
[edit] Latvia Today
Latvia suffers an infestation of its Russian enemies, after they realized how shitty Russia was and snuck into the nearest country to give AIDS.
Most Latvians are Satanist, because after they got raped by Stalin last Thursday, they're still butthurt. The others just don't give a shit.
Everyone in Latvia watches Television. One La When a couple of Commies that were up to no good
Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and the Saeima got scared
And said, "You're leaving the Soviet Union and changing your name back to Latvia"
I whistled for a flag and when it came near
The plating was burgundy and white and it had a 2:1 ratio
If anything I could say that this flag was rare
Latvia suffers an infestation of its Russian enemies, after they realized how shitty Russia was and snuck into the nearest country to give AIDS.
Most Latvians are Satanist, because after they got raped by Stalin last Thursday, they're still butthurt. The others just don't give a shit.
Everyone in Latvia watches Television. One La When a couple of Commies that were up to no good
Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and the Saeima got scared
And said, "You're leaving the Soviet Union and changing your name back to Latvia"
But I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo home to Bel-Air!"
I pulled up some shit around 2004
And I yelled to NATO "Hey, lemme join!"
Looked at the EU I was finally there
To sit on my ass as the boring country of Latvia
[edit] Latvia (Eurovision 2008)
EPIC!!! FUCKING SHIT THEY DIDNT WIN!
HA HA, THE RUSSIANS KICKED THEIR ASSES. (Recent research suggests NINJA INVOLVEMENT!)
[edit] Latvians
Latvians are strange folk. Made of 2 parts Russian and 1 parts Jew, the greatest aspirations they have in life is to become an folk hero, the ballad of their deeds being spread across the land.
What makes Latvia slightly less fail is the lack of niggers. Roughly there's about 20 of them. Only niggers have made a club which is now about 2 years old (srsly). Any nigger who dares wander the dark corners of Latvia gets instant punch to the face by citizens. Any actual nigger children get beat up at schools etc.
Every year faggots and lesbos do their pride parade faggotry festival festivity or shit. Most of the time it get's lulzy. The only people who go watch these ass parades are only those who are there to bash the ever loving shit out of homos. Usually it ends with people shouting at fags and throwing (human) shit at them both figuratively and literally, because unlike Russia, they can't get their gay asses pwned by everyone, like they can in Russia. Makes you wonder why the fuck these ass-pirates even make such festivals.
To put it simply if you are a nigger it's tough shit for you. If you are gay it's even tougher shit for you. Gay niggers are natural enemies of Latvians so you can make the job easier for them by becoming an hero.
[edit] Children
There are no children in Latvia. It was an urban myth. Latvia imports people into their country, by promising them stag parties and not letting them leave. They are then sent to the baby factory where they must spend the rest of their days making babies to be used as food. The ones you see in the videos and pamphlets are really just midgets.
[edit] Women
There are no women in Latvia. There are only men dressed as women, because the Ruskys went in and took their women back from Latvia after they ran away from home. The closest thing they have is a very nice lady who likes to bake children into cookies.
[edit] Notable Latvians
[edit] Gallery
 Latvian citizens |
 Latvian idols |
 Comrades |
 Our country has a problem... |
 Apparently disabled persons do not have this problem. |
 Looks like police is disabled, too. |
 Latvia still uses woman powered ploughs. |
 The leader |
 Political affairs |
 Typical woman driver in Latvia |
[edit] See also
[edit] External links
Million reasons why Latvia is the best country in the world
MySpace for Latvians. Notice the orange color sponsored by Tautas Partija A series of two voicemails received from Mediacrat by Jameth while the former was on his psychotic manhunt for Andrewpants in San Francisco at the height of the Mediacrat fiasco. (For full details, please see the Mediacrat entry.) Jameth posted the voicemails to the Internets, and thus many of the most famous Mediacrat catchphrases were born.
The Mediacrat Voicemails led directly to the Mediacrat Voicemail Techno Remix by DGT and