Friends page
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A friends page is where everything any of your friends or communities ever post is displayed in one place.
It's usually made of total fail and can get quite crudded, for example:
Thank you for taking the time to learn more about mental illness here on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Mental illness is a serious condition affecting at least one third of all Americans in a given year; this figure rises dramatically on the internets, where two out of three people are mentally ill. Some have attributed the rise of mental illness to angst-ridden emos who turn every little quirk into a big disease to affect drama. Whatever the case, there is an estimated eighty-five (85) percent chance you are mentally ill yourself.
Why You Should Care
Other than the fact that you yourself are probably seriously mentally ill, chances are quite high that, if you have engaged in any kind of online interaction (always practice safe hex!), you have had to deal with a mentally deranged individual. Usenet and Internet Relay Chat are the psychiatric institutions of the internets. On Usenet in particular, you will find people with anal characters disagreeing with each other on the placement of commas for a good part of their life (see alt.usage.english) and disruptive trolls with severe internet troll personality disorder.
Mentally ill people are also responsible for 99.999999% of teh drama on all of the internets combined. This includes everything from petty self-dramatizing spats to insane ravings. If you find yourself in the midst of a mentally ill person's drama, the best course of action is to stop, drop, and rock and roll!
Degrees of Being Fucked Up
Some people say being mentally ill is not about being fucked up; these people contend that it is about alternative takes on reality. These people, of course, are mentally ill themselves, and so this article will continue only with mainstream psychiatric opinion.
Mental illness is a kinder term for what is colloquially known as the state of being fucked up. That said, being fucked up comes in different flavors and degrees. Emo kids, filled with angst and tendencies towards self injury have classic borderline personality disorder. People with Asperger's syndrome are robots who, despite loading massive amounts of data onto their brains, are fundamentally incapable of regular social interaction. Cyber psychos will pass themselves off as the perfect lady or gentleman only to find out where you live so that they can come to your home to rape you up the ass while you sleep.
The Internets also regularly exposes people to the risk of developing new mental illnesses. Unprepared boys in puberty who find pictures of Carmen Electra risk developing a Carmen Electra complex.
Self-Diagnosis in the Community
Many Internet communities encourage people to fake having mental illness as a rite of entry. Notable examples include the Carmen Electra complex, restless leg syndrome, inconsistent personality disorder and LiveJournal.
How Psychology Can Cure YOU!
Do you often feel depressed? Do you often wish you were a different kind of person? Do you like sniffing glue and yiffing to furry porn for days and weeks on end? Well, if you do, fear not, for psychology is the cure to all your troubles!
Psychology is a wonderful, insightful branch of science that deals with the mind. It can cure anything from AIDS to autism to the rolls of lard around your midsection through a combination of therapy and medication. Psychology is based on the following sound scientific principles:
- Bitching to a random person, attention whore style, for 30 minutes to an hour will heal your deep-seeded emotional wounds.
- Getting to know your many, many mental and character flaws will make you a better, healthier person.
- Assholes with PhDs in psychoanalysis are better mental influences than your closest, most trusted friends.
- Nothing is ever your fault. When you kill ten people in a drunken rage with a sharpened spork, you didn't commit a crime - you were simply displaying symptoms of your illness! But...
- ...at the same time, EVERYTHING is your fault, including your genes, the time you were in a car accident when you were 3 because mommy was drunk, and the time your ex-best friend killed your hamster with lye when you were on vacation - all due to your negative thinking. THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS!
- Everyone secretly wants to fuck/kill their parents, suck massive amounts of cock, save the world, destroy the world, become a tranny, eat delicious cocks with tartar sauce over a bed of lettuce, rape themselves with vegetables, and garghlahgahgalghalglaghSTFUNOOB!
- If you don't like psychology, then it's likely due to the fact that your superego has repressed conscious aggression that originated from libidinal impulses in your subconscious drives that manifested as the Elektra Complex which came about because you lost your green magic marker when you were two years old and couldn't finish coloring your Sesame Street coloring book. Or you're a Scientologist.
- Every trainer has a choice, to listen to the voice inside.
See Also
- Self-diagnosis to find out what illness you have!
- Internet Disease Chart
- Psychiatrist
| Friends page is part of a series on Diseases and Disorders. |
| | Warning!: This is not X? In My Y? |
What to do if you find a nest of centipedes in your vagina
- Don't panic. Studies show that 1 out of 3 women have centipedes or centipede-like-creatures in their vaginas.
- If you are a man and discover that you not only have a vagina, but that it is filled with centipedes, you may wish to panic a little.
- Centipedes are insectivores. In order to entice the centipedes to leave your vagina, you may wish to try the following fun home Blue Peter-esque project:
- You will need a tampon, a cockroach, some Scotch tape, and a centipede-filled vagina. If you are under 18, be sure to ask your parents' permission before attempting to remove centipedes from your vagina.
- Tape the cockroach to the tampon and insert it into your centipede-filled vagina.
- Slowly (and if possible, erotically) pull the string until the be-cockroached tampon slides out of your centipede-filled vagina.
- If you are lucky, one or more centipedes will have gone for the bait and evacuated your now slightly less centipede-filled vagina. Repeat until you are satisfied with the centipede density in your vagina.
- Helpful hint: since all centipedes are azn, if they are not taking the bait it may be helpful to cater to their particular tastes. You may want to soak the tampon in soy sauce, or use Pocky instead of a tampon. Avoid at all costs the temptation to substitute General Tso's chicken for the cockroach. Your vagina will thank you.
- Should you need to enlist the help of others, be sure to state in a loud, clear voice that there are centipedes inside you. This will cause them to ask where, and give you the opportunity to mutter "in mah vagina" semi-coherently like Hillary Swank in Boys Don't Cry. That's always funny.
Other places to find centipedes
According to a less-funny encyclopedia, centipedes can generally be found in tropical climates and in caves of the non-vaginal variety. However, considering that said encyclopedia made the centipede its mascot, they are no better than furries and thus not to be trusted.
Dramacratic researchers have made preliminary efforts to locate nests of centipedes in manginas, primarily by inserting rfjason into Dgt's rectum on centipede-hunting expeditions. However, to date, vaginas remain the only confirmed habitat of centipedes.
There are centipedes in my vagina and I'm not afraid to use them
Like everything else that comes into or out of your vagina, centipedes entitle you, as a woman, to special treatment. It is therefore your Goddess-given right—nay, verily, your duty—to mention your centipede-filled vagina at all opportunities. You should assume that everyone who disagrees with you, makes fun of you, or fails to buy you things from your wishlist does so because he is prejudiced against you due to your centipede-filled vagina.
The key to making your centipede-filled vagina into an effective bargaining tool is to bring attention to it as loudly as possible. Some suggested options are "JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A NEST OF CENTIPEDES IN MY VAGINA DOESN'T MEAN I'M ANY LESS OF A PERSON!" or "YOUR CENTIPEDE-FILLED VAGINA WOULDN'T FIT INTO AN MRI EITHER!"
Gallery
Yes, Even Weeaboo |
See Also
- Fish? In MY penis?
- X? In My Y? Spin off series
- Stingrays In My Vagina
- Dick ants
- Lotus Breast
- Eel girl Even worse
- Croik - famous for having said centipedes
- Spider
- Japanese Bug Fights
- Botfly
Friends page is part of a series on Sex | |
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Latvians, like citizens of many tiny ex-Soviet nations (Lithuania, Kyrgyzstan) lack a cultural identity, and make up for this by claiming to have invented absolutely everything under the sun, including the television, alcohol, fire, and AIDS. The fact is, Latvians did NOT invent the television, alcohol, or fire. Sorry. They did, however, launch a distributed denial of service attack against Idlenet; thusly all botnets that are complete failures are referred to as Latvian botnets.
The primary export of Latvia is the fat suctioned from the gigantic ass of Areems and Gedroics, which is rendered and made into soap by more intelligent nations.
One of the more unique customs of Latvia is the Feast of Count Blacula, a local holiday during which Latvians cremate a goat and hurl the ashes at the "cretinous Jew".
Latvia's current president is Valdis Zatlers aka Doctor Doom, who rules the country with an iron fist. He would like to remind you that "Latvia is serious business, ya."
History of Latvia
Since the beginning of time, Latvia has been serious business. They were once a great power, the rulers of the Baltics, until Last Thursday, when over 9000 minions of Tacgnol came to bother Longcat, who was slumbering under the Baltic Sea. Longcat was all "Tacgnol doesn't know about my powers" and kicked his ass so that he could go back to sleep. All this happened on Latvia. It was like two sumo wrestlers fighting on a dime. Latvia got pwned, but then went back to looking at Pokérotica out of Penthouse. After this tragedy, they claim to have founded the Silver Circle. They also claim to have invented Politcasm and ground meats, the only things they actually did do, but, as always, they did it wrong.
The national sport of Latvia is Wayfinder, as it has been ever since last Thursday.
Latvia Today
Latvia suffers an infestation of its Russian enemies, after they realized how shitty Russia was and snuck into the nearest country to give AIDS.
Most Latvians are Satanist, because after they got raped by Stalin last Thursday, they're still butthurt. The others just don't give a shit.
Everyone in Latvia watches Television. One Latvian TV station, Howiereportinglive, won the THRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLS from Scotty Vanity. Latvia is also unfortunate enough to have MTV Latvija, which continuously broadcasts shitty emo wigger music and reality shows. UPDATE: The economy is so bad that they don't even have that any more.
National Anthem of Latvia
Now this is a story all about how my
Country got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I become a boring country called Latvia.
In the west Soviet Union born and raised
On the Baltics is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool
And all shootin' some homosexuals outside of the school
When a couple of Commies that were up to no good
Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and the Saeima got scared
And said, "You're leaving the Soviet Union and changing your name back to Latvia"
I whistled for a flag and when it came near
The plating was burgundy and white and it had a 2:1 ratio
If anything I could say that this flag was rare
But I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo home to Bel-Air!"
I pulled up some shit around 2004
And I yelled to NATO "Hey, lemme join!"
Looked at the EU I was finally there
To sit on my ass as the boring country of Latvia
Latvia (Eurovision 2008)
EPIC!!! FUCKING SHIT THEY DIDNT WIN!
HA HA, THE RUSSIANS KICKED THEIR ASSES. (Recent research suggests NINJA INVOLVEMENT!)
Latvians
Latvians are strange folk. Made of 2 parts Russian and 1 parts Jew, the greatest aspirations they have in life is to become an folk hero, the ballad of their deeds being spread across the land.
What makes Latvia slightly less fail is the lack of niggers. Roughly there's about 20 of them. Only niggers have made a club which is now about 2 years old (srsly). Any nigger who dares wander the dark corners of Latvia gets instant punch to the face by citizens. Any actual nigger children get beat up at schools etc.
Every year faggots and lesbos do their pride parade faggotry festival festivity or shit. Most of the time it get's lulzy. The only people who go watch these ass parades are only those who are there to bash the ever loving shit out of homos. Usually it ends with people shouting at fags and throwing (human) shit at them both figuratively and literally, because unlike Russia, they can't get their gay asses pwned by everyone, like they can in Russia. Makes you wonder why the fuck these ass-pirates even make such festivals.
To put it simply if you are a nigger it's tough shit for you. If you are gay it's even tougher shit for you. Gay niggers are natural enemies of Latvians so you can make the job easier for them by becoming an hero.
Children
There are no children in Latvia. It was an urban myth. Latvia imports people into their country, by promising them stag parties and not letting them leave. They are then sent to the baby factory where they must spend the rest of their days making babies to be used as food. The ones you see in the videos and pamphlets are really just midgets.
Women
There are no women in Latvia. There are only men dressed as women, because the Ruskys went in and took their women back from Latvia after they ran away from home. The closest thing they have is prostitutes. You can find many cheap prostitutes and brides in Latvia.
Gallery
External links
- Million reasons why Latvia is the best country in the world
- MySpace for Latvians. Notice the orange color sponsored by Tautas Partija
- Political discussions about latvian issues
- Celebrations in Latvia
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A series of two voicemails received from Mediacrat by Jameth while the former was on his psychotic manhunt for Andrewpants in San Francisco at the height of the Mediacrat fiasco. (For full details, please see the Mediacrat entry.) Jameth posted the voicemails to the Internets, and thus many of the most famous Mediacrat catchphrases were born.
The Mediacrat Voicemails led directly to the Mediacrat Voicemail Techno Remix by DGT and The Ballad of J by D. Roberts Keenan
Transcripts
Voicemail the First
Hello James, this is Joshua Williams, or that is my formal legal name. I'm calling to inform you that I do, um, intend to file a restraining order against you, and I do intend to extract Andrew's personal information from you, which I demand at least by eight p.m. today in my, um, at my Yahoo address (just so you know, you can't email my academic one). It's H-E-Y-Y-S-H-W-A-H at Yahoo dot com.
What I'm expecting from you, James, is every bit of information you know about Andrew, and if I don't get that, you'll be speaking with the, with a police officer by eight-ten.
Also, I would appreciate any pictures that you, that you have of incriminating evidence, and if you don't comply with this information, you will be speaking to an attorney, and you will be subpoenaed, and you will give depositions, and you will be completely drained of your personal time, and you will be defending yourself from me, because not only did you slander me in LiveJournal, you also perpetuated hurtful information of myself, you also changed the words I said, you also impersonated me by making a fake icon, you also made up stories about me, and you also got about a hundred and fifty people in on the deal.
So what I expect from you, James (Last name), is your reply with, with everything I've demanded, or you will be hearing from a lawyer, and you will be ... a suit will come against you, and you're not immune to this stuff. You might think it's dramatic, you might think it's funny, but this is serious business, and you are in trouble if you don't answer me, ok?
Eight p.m., HEY-SCHWAH (double Y), ot (sic) Yahoo dot com, with every inf--with every piece of information you can get from Andrew. I'm talking about address, phone number, where he goes to school, what he does for work, EVERY. THING. JAMES!
Goodbye.
Voicemail the Second
Second voicemail (.OGG) (.MP3)
Hi James, uh, hold on.
(to cabbie) Can you take me to the nicest restaurant with a view ... ah, I want a view of the Golden Gate Bridge and a fine bottle of wine. Can you do that? What do you say? Where should we go? Where sho...do y...do you have a recommendation? Where's that? Ok, let's do it. Perfect.
So James, I want to tell you, you are now named in my lawsuit because you would not cooperate, and um, I tried to warn you very much so, and let me just tell you that you are in as much trouble now as Andrew, and I really tried to be your friend, and I really tried to be honest with you, but, um, you defamed me and you harassed me, and I have an, uh, as you know, an unlimited disposable income, and I will have the best attorneys, and I will have your humility, because you were wrong, and you were mean to me, and you will now pay those consequences.
This is my final contact with you, James. The next, the next communication will come from a lawyer, the last thing that you've, you'll ever mention about me in your journal is that you're being, you're being officially sued by me, or nothing at all. If you see me in a bar, you'd better not talk to me, you'd better hide, because I will go up to you and I'll humiliate you. And I'll tell everybody what you've done to me, and how sick and demented you are, with helping Andrew along with this, and just how perverted you are.
This isn't drama—this is my life. And you've ruined my life. But the good part of it is, James, I have a brand new life. And I'm rich. And I'm beautiful. And I have the perfect friends, and I have a perfect everything, and I know you do, too, so this really means nothing to you, but just so you know, you haven't won, I've won. Andrew and you and your little posse have inspired me, and given me the confidence through your obsession with me that I might be a model, and that I could be a model.
And so, in effect, thank you for the ten thousand dollars the you've already contributed, and I will be seeking damages from you, and so I'll be thanking you for money in the future.
My final words to you, James, are: I did the best I could to be a friend to you, and I did the best I could to be honest and helpful, and to be supportive of you, and I never got involved with your drama, and so what you will now do is learn the lesson that a friend is a true friend when they will just be your friend.
Goodbye.
Lyrics to "The Ballad of J"
Can you take me to the nicest restaurant
with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge
and a fine bottle of wine?
What do you say? Where should we go?
I'm rich and I'm beautiful
And I really tried to be your friend.
I have an unlimited disposable income
and I will have your humility.
Just so you know, you haven't won—
I've won.
I'm rich and I'm beautiful.
Thank you for the ten thousand
dollars you've already contributed
A friend is a true friend
when they will just be a friend.
H-E-Y-Y-S-H-W-A-H at Yahoo dot com.
That's Hey-schwah, double Y, at Yahoo dot com
I'm rich and I'm beautiful.
You might think it's dramatic and you might think it's funny
I'm rich and I'm beautiful
My name is J, and I promise I am not
Stirring up drama.
You can never say
That I did not warn you.
In the future I will spread
Love and free technology across the planet,
Never again eat meat
Never again have to try.
Shutdown LiveJournal dot com
shutdown LiveJournal Drama dot com
shutdown Craigslist dot com
Become so powerful and so amazing
that wings sprout from my back
and I fly off into the sunset
doing every little thing that my heart has ever desired
with having the only man my heart ever could.
Just so you know, you haven't won—
I've won.
I'm rich and I'm beautiful.
Just so you know, you haven't won—
I've won.
I'm rich and I'm beautiful.
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The Angry Video Game Nerd (aka PermaVirgin) is a basement dwelling ADD-ridden nerdraged winnar who creates Gametrailers.com videos where he "reviews" bad video games and, now, films. Instead of actually reviewing the games like a professional slapstick author (video game reviewing is serious business), he just yells infantile cusswords (about at a 12-year-old's level) at his television screen. You, the viewer find this hilarious. Most of them roughly consist of off key utterances from some shit-eating whacked out autistic chug, e.g. "What the fuck!" "What the fuckin' fuck!!" "What a piece of fuck!". At the end of a review he repeatedly talks about topics surrounding shit such as how he longs for the game to be over so he could milk a bull's asshole (or his own) inside out, take a shit on a game, or simply talk about shit itself 'cuz nothing is funnier than a (We can't "remmember" that faggot, no lulz is seen in his bullshitnerdy movies). He also takes a swig of a beer bottle every three seconds in his videos to prove to people he's a man, when really he's only trying to wash out the taste of cum in his mouth.
Angry Nintendo Nerd has officially changed his named to "Angry Video Game Nerd" so he wouldn't get sued by Nintendo for making shitty shirts with his catchphrases on them and associating "Nintendo" with some schizoid, liberal bullfuck phenomenon. It should be noted that regardless of this legal genius, he still has an IQ dwarfed by that of the average 4chan user's left testicle.
Reviews
Although it is true that most of the games he reviews are complete and utter horse-shit, his reasons for hating them mainly boil down to him sucking capital ass at video games. It appears the Angry Nintendo Nerd (read: Fugly Famicom Faggot). By now, he's reviewed every NES game that you've never heard of, and his shit-related-phrase count is well over 9000.
| —Official AVGN website, His fans don't get it, furries only! |
| —We get it, you'd rather fuck shit-covered animals while another animal with stomach problems empties its bowels into your ear than play games. |
It seems to be funny to 99% of the world when someone adds 'fuck' at the end of a word and pretends to suck at video games similar to how the Tourette's Guy pretends to suck at life which is kind of ironic since both him and the ANN talk about having sex with animals.
For example, "Cockadooky Bullfuck". Now that was some major lulz, amirite? How about "shitload of fuck"? Not just a load of fuck, but a shitload of it! How does he come up with this stuff?Accurate Examples of his Reviews
|
AVGN - Resistance: Fall of Man AVGN - Gears of War AVGN - The Orange Box AVGN - Zelda: Twilight Princess |
|
Previous Video | Next Video |
Downtime
Somewhen beginning of April 2007, because the furfag retards TheGameBoys account got all their followers to mark all his videos as inappropriate, YouTube started removing the ANN's videos obviously because he sucks a snails ass at being lulzworthy and rather ends up lookin' like an extremely annoying ADD-ridden 12 year old who can't figure out how to work a fucking joystick.
Gametrailers
Because Viacum loves hearing the word "fuck" after everything that has a pulse, their puppet-state known as Gametrailers decided to exclusively host his reviews. If they wind up on YouTube, it's terrible, because then ScrewAttack is losing money that they could spend on pirating full-length movies on DailyMotion with their own shitty commentary. It's only stealing if you get caught, right?
It should be noted that the ANN quit his minimum-wage paying job at Wendy's to devote the rest of his days to ANN. He was quoted by employees as saying, "I'd rather have a buffalo shove a saber laced with shit up my ass while I'm watching a Buffalo Sabre game than work this drive thru!" At which point he was told to STFU and get back to sucking the manager's dick for his severance pay.
Now ANN is a corporate tool who tries to be lulzy, but ends up being made of epic fail in the process.
War
When it was announced that the old arthritic bitch (Sylvester Stallone) was making a pile of shit epilogue to the Rambo series, which will likely be rated G, the AVGN joked that the title would possibly be John Rambo. Well, the joke was up his ass and the title was in fact John Rambo. Fan faggotry burst like a hymen under a needle and people started lulzing under the irony (even thought at the end of the video, he says that he's just fucking around, making the lulz vanish instantly).
AVGN got tired of people who loved him showing appreciation and in his Texas Chainsaw Massacre video, he raeped the community by having his furry Guitar Hero mimic the people. This naturally felt like being penetrated through the ear by Batman, so a portion of the community left his bitch shackling nature and have taken up the cause of ED. When fans pointed this out on YouTube, Mike Matei blocked them and deleted their comments out of butthurt. And thanks to ED pointing this out, the very same review now requires approval for comments.
Mike Matei
As James Rolfe's masochistic right-hand man house nigger, Matei is responsible for cleaning up comments on the JamesNintendoNerd YouTube account, drawing pretty pictures of the Nerd for his videos, yelling at the Irate Gamer every other week, and getting the living shit kicked out of him every time the AVGN does another video. So far he's had the shit kicked out of him as Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, Bugs Bunny (Simultaneously satisfying the AVGN's massive furry fetish), Michael Myers, and The Joker.
AVGN Ripoffs
Just when things couldn't get any worse on teh tubes, The Angry Nintendo Nerd decided to raep the internets on one fine July afternoon exactly three months after An hero day (For the lulz?). The result of this raep was the first ever bastard child of the internets, rightly dubbed as "ANN ripoff #1". When this bastard child was able to grow a penis several weeks later, he then preceded to rape the internets in a fashion that would make a samurai become an hero.
As the internets got AIDS by all of the raping of it by YouTube, the ANN ripoffs then decided to have incest and fuck each other to express their sexual lust for the bad games that they "review". Hence, the ANN ripoff population has grown to a level that's over 9,000.
This devious process has gone unchecked by YouTube, as the admins are too busy stroking it to all those underage girls making out on webcams...that or they're all from West Virginia.
The AVGN Ripoffs have pissed off the internets. All hell has broken loose as the merchant from Resident Evil 4's power level goes over 9,000 and takes his anger out on an 80s CD player:
The Irate Gamer
tries to butt rape the ann concept with his NES he got 2 days ago and by being overweight (FUCKING FATTY)
- Moar info: Irate Gamer.
Alexander4488
Alexander4488: The long lost son of CockmonglerA "nerd-spired" game reviewer who is less known for his appallingly bad game reviews and more known for his self-fellating advertisements on every gaming website known to man. Like another overly-egotistical game reviewer, he goes to film school and fancies himself as the second-coming of the AVGN on YouTube.
His blatant egotism came to head as a group named FilmsForFustilarians riffed on one of his videos. Being absolutely batshit insane, he came to his own defense in a barrage of video comments where they actually outnumber the number of views the video has. Safe to say, his sheer butthurt generated great lulz for those who witnessed it.
On cue, Alexander has made multiple accounts on ED after this stub was written in an effort to defend his actions.
Furious Famicom Faggot
Something Awful has been lulzless for quite a while (despite the claims of the Goons that the site is lulzier than ever...fucking liars, they are!). Despite this, they had their hands on a gold mine of lulz and drama that was yearning to be untapped.
The Furious Famicom Faggot, created by Shmorky, was to be a parody that would pwn the Angry Nintendo Nerd and all of those retreads that he inspired. Unfortunately, SA fucked it up and FFF became nothing moar than epic fail and a lulz flop that could have been so much moar. This is in part because the FFF was created as a parody on both the Angry Video Game Nerd and a lesser known fail called Gamelife. As an unnamed lulzosopher put it, "FFF is like the carrot cake of video game reviewers; it is decent when first eaten, but quickly becomes sickening and made of all things fail."
Fortunately, the internets saved itself from certain raeping by giving FFF the AIDS and fail before it became too lulzless for its own good. We can only drink to the lost potential of lulz and win...
A few weeks after the fail that was the Furious Famicom Faggot, Ebeeto emerged from the shadows as another parody of the YouTube video game reviewing movement, however, he is moar of a parody of that lulzless fuck UrinatingTree, instead of the AVGN.
LeisureSuitGaming / Silent Rob
AKA The Ginger Whinger, Silent Rob is a hardcore internets tough guy who is more known nowadays for his whiny emo diatribes than his "fuck"-fests in disguise as video game reviews. He got his start as an extremely overrated game "reviewer" best known for his Action 52 review, which was, shockingly, worse than the game was in all aspects. But after sucking Damien Estreich's cock enough to merit YouTube Partnership and the featuring of his videos on the main page, Mr. Estrech refused to give it to him, deeming his work unoriginal.
This is when Silent Rob busted down the floodgates and spent ten minutes bitching about the Irate Gamer, in which his arguments, for every small truth they may have had, were cockblocked by at least fifteen references to IG "loving the cock" per truth. His fanbase, being as intelligent as lemmings, followed his orders and started hating the reviewer, spawning a great, yet pathetic, amount of proxy lulz that still lingers to this day.
Rob has still not gotten over the butthurt of not becoming a YouTube Partner. Seeing the likes of the AVGN, That Guy With The Glasses, and Yahtzee making money hands over fists, he has since gotten into internet panhandling by creating his own website devoted to his poorly-made, unfunny abortions that he calls videos.
But this story has a twist: He charges people $5 just to visit it. He has rightfully suffered backlash from his loyal followers, finally seeing how shitty his work really is. The ensuing lulz that has resulted from Silent Rob's butthurt and subsequent bawwwing about the website can be best described as the funniest thing that man has ever done.
PissedOffVideoGamer
This horrid blob monster is trying to be the Angry Nintendo Nerd, the difference is this fat fuck is way funnier in a completely different way. Just look at him, seriously, the video explains it all.
mpn1990
The angriest AVGN ripoff who reviews shitty unlicensed games. Action 52 almost killed this poor fellow, but somehow he managed to escape its merciless death grip.
The Mischief Makers Incident
In one AVGN video he is seen giving his angry look at a Mischief Makers cartridge. This caused rage on /v/ as they thought he had or was going to make a review video for Mischief Makers. It turned out that it was just filler footage for an intro and /v/ trolled themselves into thinking otherwise as the AVGN has not stated that he intends to review the game.
Suspension
Last week YouTube suspended the AVGN account. No reason was given, but lots of lulz and BAWWing were seen among the AVGN fanboys. This later turned out to be the result of Game Trailers' own incompetence. Apparently, Game Trailers was too stupid to figure out that the one posting the Angry Video Game Nerd videos was, in fact the AVGN himself and made copyright complaints.
AVGN Nazis
The warzone that is the YouTube Video Game Reviewers and their rivals has spawned many 12 year old jihadists who would otherwise be vandalizing ED,4chan or other mean people who make fun of their idols.
- Prisonbreak72020: Vandal and anticipated an hero. Feel free to leave him a message on his latest ED account user:TheWTFHero, or his new YouTube account MAXPAYNEPRODUCTIONS. Ironically is also a Irate Gamer Nazi. Probably not an epic double agent. Thinks hes black, even though the picture of his mug is shown at the top of his own article.
- greatexpectations320: Once a minor fanboy who evolved into the unholy avatar of the lulzkiller and meme smasher.
- Chickenhed61: An AVGN house nigger and pedophilic furfag who enjoys masturbating to videos of kittens and 13-year old boys.
Of course dedicating yourself to defend 12 year old YouTube users with unfunny game reviews from these people makes you one with the AIDS.
A challenger appears
As of recently, a movie reviewer by the name of the Nostalgic Critic challenged the tyranny of the Angry Video Game Nerd on the internet. The war was started by the Nerd's Nazis in an attempt to take out the competition by saying that the Nostalgic Critic was an AVGN-ripoff. This is far from the truth, for the Nostalgic Critic is funny. NC decided to fight-back, only to piss off the AVGN. The AVGN then gave the NC a threat disguised as a compliment. Thus a war began. As soon as the war began, the AVGN stole one of the NC's reviews. So far, the NC is winning thanks to a fist-fight and reviewing a bad game. Few know how long the Nostalgic Critic can hold out against the AVGN Nazis.
UPDATE: To try and calm the rabid fanboys both have recently appeared in a Collaboration Video together.
See Also
- Video game reviewers
- X-Play
- Irate gamer
- Armake21
- AkewsticRockR
- Sega Kid
- PissedOffVideoGamer
- /v/
- Spax3
- Angry Internet Guy
- Internet DVD - Yup! Now you can spend $30 on the same videos you saw for free!
- That Guy With The Glasses - Website James will fuck off to when he realizes that ScrewAttack are utter douchebags when his contract ends.
External Links
- His YouTube page
- A video of him reviewing Simon's Shitty Quest
- His website
- The Furious Famicom Faggot
- Ebeeto
- An example of retardation at its best

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so i herd u liek mudcarpz?
it r not carpz
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