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Fullmetal Alchemist

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Heil Hitler!  Edward becomes a Nazi at the end.
Heil Hitler! Edward becomes a Nazi at the end.
Then he dies.
Then he dies.
Quite possibly the only scene in the entire show in which Ed acts reasonably heterosexual.
Quite possibly the only scene in the entire show in which Ed acts reasonably heterosexual.

Fullmetal Alchemist is a crazy animu about a boy and his robot. The original title, 'Love Alchemy' was dropped when Love Hina beat them to the punch. The scenes involving 'millionaire playboy' Geitaru and Edward Elric were also cut due to this. It is heavily speculated that the main character's titular nickname comes from the fact that he frequently has metal shavings lodged in his rectum from fucking his robot brother, and uses them in his alchemy or some shit.

Contents

[edit] Act One: Incestual Robot Love

Typical scene.
Typical scene.

Fullmetal Alchemist (or FAMMY, as retarded fans call it) begins with two supple young boys playfully trying to ressurect their dead mother in a profane necromantic ritual considered the very height of blasphemy. This leads to some rather obvious consequences: the older brother loses an arm, a leg, and quite possibly a penis, and the younger brother turns into a giant robot. Since pedophiliac gay robot incest porn is popular among the Japanese and 16 year old girls, this development was far more of a punishment than the brothers realized. object>

[edit] Chapter Two: Freaking Furries

Nina is an furry.
Nina is an furry.

The seventh (tenth?) episode introduced this one guy who totally turned people into furries with his crazy magic powarz. Just like real life, though teh furries can sort of talk and understand basic concepts, they run away from people and hide in basements, and then later die of loneliness. Notable because the guy first turned his wife into a furry (she died) to get some money from the government, then when they stopped giving money, he turned his four year old daughter into one. Then some other guy blew up his daughter with magickz. Then the government stole him again and made him turn other people into furries to use in war. Then he accidentally became part furry and got his face turned upside down. When he tried to revive his daughter with magic and got a soul-less doll. When asked why by the closet homo Hero, he proclaimed, "I did it for the Lulz" How fucking freaky is that? The hero is kind of pissed at him for this.

[edit] Paragraph Three: Everyone is Evil

Fullmetal Alchemist has the honour of being one of those series where everyone is evil. The main characters kill people to revive their mother, the army kills people so they can turn their souls into a stone and then steal Gendo's clothes, a couple of people kill people because their religion tells them too, and the leader of the Big City is called 'Fuhrer'. Then there are some people named after the seven sins. And like, 'Gluttony' likes to eat shit, and 'Lust' is totally hot, and 'Envy' is a transvestite, and 'Pride' is the Fuhrer (except not in the manga, where Pride is the Fuhrer's son), and Wrath is an aborted fetus, who is supposed to be the Fuhrer, but the animators are retarded. Repeat ad nauseum. Plus their dead mother is made into a slut with super water powers. Again the animators fail, seeing as Sloth was supposed to be a man with huge muscles that resembles Envy in the hair department. At one point, the main characters toppled a religious dictator and killed the faith of all the townspeople, leading them into a 'spiral of dark emo depression'. When asked by one little girl why they did it, Edward said 'for the lulz, lolcow', before raping her with his sword arm.

[edit] Headline Four: Stupid Fucking Headlines

The only good thing going for this series is that it tends to use stock footage involving small children being burnt and shot.

[edit] Fandom

The mangas are action-packed, as seen here.
The mangas are action-packed, as seen here.
And here.
And here.

The only people who give a shit about this anime are TARTlets who constantly bitch over who belongs with who, as is typical when you have a group of retarded yaoi fangirls on the interapes. This pisses off the equally retarded hetero shippers, who, for some reason, have the ridiculous notion that Edward might want to screw some pu55y instead of his metal brother's bunghole. This results in massive flame wars between the yaoi/incest fans, who think Elricest is sexy, and the breeders. In that sense, it's really not all that different from the Ouran High School Host Club fantwats. Worst yet are those who srsly believe that the Elric brothers are OTP and shit themselves every time they find a new quote to take out of context. But, perhaps the saddest thing about the entire fucking show is that, for once, the sick fuck fantwats might actually be on to something. Fullmetal Alchemist could not be gheyer if it were owned by 4Kids.

[edit] Gallery


Image:pikajewsprite.gif Fullmetal Alchemist is part of a series on Anime.

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