Furry
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Warning!: This article might you turn into a Furry, Resist the temptation! |
Proud to be a Furry
[edit] The species-dysmorphic
They are a cult that you can not leave alive! SAVE ME!!!!!! If furries were hardbodied 19-year-old girls in bunny suits, there'd be no need for an article here. Furries are, in fact, the opposite: people who are out to ruin the fun of wearing costumes for sex for everyone.
This is what happens when kids are raised by Disney cartoons depicting animals with love interests, constantly told to play with talking teddy bears, or play the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles RPG to severe excess. The furry subculture can also be viewed as the product of an unholy miscegenation of hick and nerd culture, much like HIV is thought to have developed as a result of humans fucking chimpanzees, since animal fucking is a popular hick pastime and anime is a staple of nerd civilization.
Furfags are disturbing due to the intricate, full-body suits—known as fursuits—every furry will eventually build one and most will only have sex with them on, often while using tickling furshampoo. Furry artwork tends to species-blend and be overtly sexual. Furfags claim to be born the way they are but they're actually just delusional and chose to be furry to fit in with someone, as every other subculture has rejected them. packetgrinder theorizes most furfags are simply run-of-the-mill fags who are too grotesque to convince others to have anal sex with them unless their flabby zit-covered bodies are completely cloaked in a 50/50 cotton-poly tiger costume. It should be noted however, that after a hard night of drinking, a young woman in Santa Cruz was convinced to actually let a furry stick his zit ridden cock in her vagina. Fortunately, she came to her senses once he began to make cat noises, and left the son of a bitch with blue balls. A month later after battling the psychological trauma from the ordeal, she committed suicide. Unfortunately, the furry went on to claim more victims, but ended up dead after trying to carry out a vore fantasy involving a fox, a cow, and one very unfortunate chicken.
Some furfags may claim that they have no sexual interest at all, and simply enjoy walking around their house in a giraffe suit when no one else is watching. This is a lie since all furfags are drawn to sexual perversity regardless of their species. Furfags really only say this kind of thing when they are threatened with death or when they have found a new victim for "surprise yiff". Either way, if a furfag ever tells you they're celibate, you should shoot and run just to be on the safe side.
Furfags claim that their "furfaggotry" is a innate part of themselves. Sometimes they claim it's a "totem animal" in order to give themselves the same legitimacy that druids have in D&D. Sometimes they claim that they were actually an animal in a previous life, and have been reincarnated. Sometimes they claim that they're RILLY RILLY HONEST AND FOR TRUE a lycanthrope, who can magically transform themselves into a real, actual animal. Sometimes they claim that they're RILLY RILLY HONEST AND FOR TRUE an actual animal with the magical ability to turn into a socially maladjusted loser.
Naturally, these innate natures or totem animals or whatever delusional justification they provide almost always (99.9999% of the time) take the form of an animal that is either cute (rabbits, mice, woodchucks, etc), dangerous (lions, tigers, bears, oh my), or rife with dark symbolism (snakes, ravens). Naturally, these traits are rarely possessed by the furfag's "human nature". Furfags who claim, say, a banana slug or an anchovy as their totem animal are almost non-existent. The only known examples of such furfags, in fact, are the furfags who deliberately chose a non-standard totem animal so they could (A) be socially maladjusted outsiders even within the furry community (and if that doesn't make you flinch, nothing will); and (B) say "NUH-UH" to anybody who makes the observation outlined in this paragraph.
We all know furfags fail at life and should all become an hero, but they're also hypocrites: On 7chan someone posts a human artwork of a hot woman in a furry thread and a furfag says, "ugh, humans are so ugly, especially when they try to look like us. GTFO with that noise. Talk about a fail at life."
[edit] History
- In the beginning, God created all the beasts of the land, all the fishes in the sea, all the birds of the air, Adam and Steve, and those little plastic anuses that detach from the bottom of soda bottle caps. And the LORD did look upon his creation, and smile, for it was good.
- And it remained good right up until Steve decided he was really a nine-tailed dick-nippled fox deep down in his perverted little heart.
- And Satan went unto Steve, and verily, he did say unto him "Behold, oh Steve! If thou dost but tap thy Crypt Rats, thou might slay this Fox; and take of him his skin to be thine own; and make of it a Suit of Fur; and then might thou know the little animals right in the ass to thy sick heart's content."
- And Steve did as Satan told. And Steve did yiff and scritch all the beasts of the land, all the fishes in the sea, all the birds in the air, and Adam, who was dressed like a panda, until all were very verily sore.
- And the LORD did look upon this, and smile, for while it was not strictly speaking good, He's a bit of a sick fuck sometimes, just like the fucking furfags.
- Even the great comic minds, The Goodies tackled the subject in the early 80s, shortly after that their show was canceled!
[edit] How furfags are fucking made
- In the sixth grade there are two kids, Joey, and Jimmy. Jimmy is a homo. They both get the assignment to do a report on the cheetah. Joey and Jimmy go to each others' homes and study long and hard. They even find out where cheetahs live and eat. The next day, they turn in the report, and their teacher, Mrs. Williams, gives them an A+. They are both extremely excited. Joey decides that's the end of it and goes on with his life, but Jimmy stays up all night making a cheetah costume with a little hole for his penis so he can have sex without taking off the fursuit. He then becomes an artist and draws pictures of a cheetah with four penises and three vaginas fucking the absolute shit out of a tiger who has a dildo implanted on its head and seven tits and three dick-nipples. Thus, in Jimmy, a furry is fucking born.
Scientists in Fagland have recently proved that children are bound to become furries after stepping into Chuck E. Cheese's. Their fondness of the costumed character exerts an underlying sexual drive in their brain.
[edit] How to Become a furfag Tutorial
In the late March of 2006, a tutorial depicting a satire tutorial about 'How to Be a Furry' was made and uploaded. While receiving praise on deviantArt by non-idiot members of the site, both furry and non-furry, it has received criticism on livejournal by butthurt furfags who don't know the subtle art of having a sense of humor, the most notable whiner being xydexx, as seen here.
[edit] Conflicts with furfags
(note: starting these conflicts are epic win)
The furfag subculture is not without its detractors, as it centers around giant six-breasted twelve-cocked shitting dicknipple cartoon sex. Furfags are frequently mocked and featured on Something Awful and the Portal of Evil, where the worst of the worst are showcased and ridiculed. This leads to cries of fursecution, and often furfags compare their detractors to Hitler and act as if being made fun of is equal to the plight of the Jews, which does little to help their credibility. The totally unwarranted victimization of the furry community often leads to cutting and cries of "leaving the fandom, afk".
Scientists have long theorized that furries are so repulsive that there is no way they could stand even each other. Although furries have attempted to present a united front, this theory was recently proven to be true by the discovery of this shocking video of two furries in the wild:
[edit] Doodles's History of Furrydom
Back in the early 80's, a lot of folks had started to form a prototype for what would had intended to become a fandom centered around anthropomorphics. Science Fiction and fantasy fandoms at the time often centered around what were called APAs, Amateur Press Associations. These were groups of fans who had some central interest, like general SF, or maybe Star Trek in particular, whatever. Essentially, you created your work, mimeographed a set of copies [because Kinkos didn't yet exist] and sent it into a central collating and distribution point, whereupon it would get put into a collection of other works by members of the APA and sent out to the membership for their perusal and commentary. Not all of these APAs were innocent. It was at this point that "slash," stories involving sexual relations between various characters in whatever show or book you were basing your work on, started. Star Trek was particularly notorious for having dozens of homosexual tales revolving around Kirk & Spock written.
So along comes this new APA, called VOOTIE!, and based in Minneapolis. A lot of folks were involved in it, and the first issues proved to be a fertile ground for experimenting with morph material. At the time, the only funny animal titles still available in comics were the Disney duck titles, so the goal was to get away from that as much as possible.
Well, one day, someone in the APA pipes up and says "Hey! There's not enough sex in funny animal comics!" This man, one Taral Wayne, would later come to eat his words. One of the other artists involved took up the challenge, a fellow named Reed Waller, and let loose some material that more than made up for the perceived lack. This resulted in a schism in the APA that ultimately destroyed it, with those members wanting more PG material to form a new APA called Rowrlbrazzle. In the meanwhile, Reed went on and ended creating the first adult anthropomorphic comic of the 80's, "Omaha the Cat Dancer". This was in 1981.
And this is roughly were I get involved. I discovered the comic through some connections involving the last of the old 70's undergrounds like R. Crumb's work and was captivated by Reed's material. He's an excellent artist with elements of Vaughn Bode's style, and he was telling a soap opera story with cats and dogs and rabbits.
At the same time this was going on, an ex-Air Force draftsman named Steve Gallacci was also doing some experimental work with anthropomorphics, in this case producing a space opera title called "Albedo". Unlike "Omaha", this title was PG rated and remained so through it's run. I discovered the title at about the same time as Reed's work and was amazed that anything outside of Disney slapstick was even being attempted. (I was still young and foolish and had a lot to learn about the artistic past.)
By the mid 80's, a few individuals who were tangentially associated with Rowrbrazzle members started holding informal gatherings at SF and comic conventions where they and other artists could get together and chat, talk about things, and sketch in each other's sketchbooks for fun. On the West Coast, one of the main organizers for these parties was a pair of gay lovers named Mark Merlino (A.K.A. Sy Sable) and Rodney Stansfield (A.K.A. Rod O'Riley.) The parties they held were called furry parties, and very quickly the fandom started to be called furry. (Face it, it's a hell of a lot quicker and easier to say than "anthropomorpics".) My first contact with them was through one of these parties at the San Diego Comic Con, now ComicCon International.
At this stage, things were still rather innocent. Yes, there were artists drawing the adult material, but they were matched by plenty of people doing PG work so it really didn't matter. Other APAs had started to form and the fandom was carefully coming out of its shell to face the world. Not that there weren't some glitches. At Baycon one year, the original flyers for the furry party had been altered and now read "Skunkfuckers," a nickname that still pops up from time to time, though nowadays it's almost tame compared to what furries get called...
After doing the parties for a while, Mark & Rod decided to try something different: A whole convention centered around furry fandom. The con they created was called Confurence, and it was the first of it's kind. Instead of being tacked onto another con, furries could get together by themselves and enjoy a pleasant gathering in relative comfort. The first CF, CF0, was more of an extended furry party, but starting with CF1, the event took on a more formal design. It grew quickly over the years, from a few dozen at CF0 to close to 500 by CF5.
At the same time, a new way of communicating was being developed. It started with electronic bulletin boards posted on individual computers and dialed into, but eventually that gave way to the early years of the Internet. At the time, the Net was text-based, and the mediums of communication were e-mail, FTP transfers and a strange little place called FurryMUCK.
For all you young whippersnappers who think that CounterStrike was the first game that ever got folks together from around the world to make each other irritable, MUCKs, MOOs and MUDS were the first online role-playing environments. They were and are text-based, because of the nature of the net at the time. FurryMuck was started in the late 80's [I don't recall the actual date and I'm too tired to search right now] and as the name implies, consisted of a world where everyone was some sort of morphic animal or another. It still remains popular to this day, with several thousand character accounts registered and played regularly. They have a web page at www.furry.com for the curious.
At this point, it's important to note that while the fandom was by no means innocent, it was still a fandom. Whatever sexual material that was produced (and the pile had started to grow quickly enough), this was still seen as a fandom. You traded art, swapped stories, maybe got into costumes for amusement and just had fun. But nobody took it as if it were some form of gospel.
How I wish for those simpler days...
Again, there was already furry porn and the like out there, including take-offs on a few popular characters in toons. But it was still rather mild compared to all that Star Trek slash fiction that took place back in the 80's.
I'd almost forgotten about Usenet, which was also a big deal in the early Internet days. alt.fan.furry remains one of the most mixed-up places I've ever read, but it was almost intelligent in the early days, since the folks posting were still part of the core fandom of artists, writers, and fans. That's certainly not what it is now, but that can be said of Usenet in general. [Usenet, where they seperate the wheat from the chaff, and keep the chaff.]
The first real stirrings of change were around the early 90's, with the rise of the World Wide Web and easy internet access (read: AOL and the cheap ISPs of the era). Finding and communicating with other furries was now so much easier, thanks to search engines and websites like Furnation and the Velar Central Library made it possible to circulate art and stories far more easily. Sure, 90% of it is crap, but 90% of everything is crap, so who noticed? Still, it provided an influx of the new, the uninformed and the just plain clue-free into the fandom at a critical time. (Again, this sort of thing happens to anything on the net nowadays. This is why Lowtax gets paid the occasional stupid tax.) However, coupled with a rather stupid move on Mark Merlino's part, this helped cause the nightmare that Furry is today.
Now, I will give Mark mad props for having the guts to get the whole thing started on the right foot, but then I have to take 'em away for turning the thing in a direction that led straight off a cliff. He started inviting folks from alternative lifestyle groups to come to the con, folks who couldn't tell Donald Duck from Daffy and didn't care as long as they had a place to go and a hole to fill. At CF6 they were not noticable, at CF7 they were appearing all over the place and by CF8, it was not uncommon to hear idiots in the hallways having the following conversation:
TWINK #1: What the hell is all this animal art & costumes? TWINK #2: Who cares? I'm here for the parties.
A lot of this influx of dopes were people that DarthVersace has adroitly called "Jailhouse Gay." Men so fat, ugly, obnoxious, smelly, and/or stupid that they couldn't get laid in a whorehouse with a fistful of $50's. Men who turned to sticking things in each other in a desperate effort to bleed off hormones. Men like Foxwulfie Galen, Ostrich and the other morons who show up in Vanity Fair and on MTV specials...
CF8 was the straw that broke a lot of camel's backs. Along with wolves, rabbits, cats and the rest of the menagerie. The twinks were making a deliberate point of being obnoxious to anyone they though of as "mundane." A lot of the core fandom cried fowl, Mark & Rod took more heat than the tiles on the Space Shuttle and the whole Burned Furs movement started up. Many furs who wanted to break away from all the sexual material completely went and founded Yerf, a site where PG is the limit on what could be shown.
Meanwhile, the twinks started banding together and redefined furry in their own terms. Furry wasn't a fandom, it was a lifestyle. In fact, what the heck did all those books and comics and art have to do with the whole thing? "Look! I'm not really a human! I'm a fox trapped in this body! Call me Chirpy Yiffmonger!" This even led to the formation of a second Usenet group, alt.lifestyle.furry, which now makes a.f.f. look rational. Other conventions formed, each trying to develop it's own style, but the same schism always took place between the concept of furry as a fandom and furry as a lifestyle.
Unfortunately, the average media outlet isn't interested in fandoms. They're boring and tend to be as interesting for outsiders to watch as a tiddly winks game played by geriatrics. But the lifestylers were flamboyant, lively, idiotic... and gullible in the extreme. In much the same way a TV station will ignore thousands of normal-looking sports fans to focus on the two fat idiots on the 50-yard line wearing nothing but speedoes and body paint in their team's colors, media outlets focused on the lifestylers as a great way to fine cheap "Hey look at the geek" footage. When this was shown, even more idiots would hop on the bandwagon to try to get their own 15 minutes of fame, or at least notoriety.
That's where things lie now. At most furry cons, the mix is 70% fan, 20% fanboy and 10% twink. But it's the 10% that gets all the press, so the general populace has been convinced, much like Dan Savage in the article that started this thread, that this group represents the whole. It's like the way Star Trek was in the 80's. Legions of fans who were normal in almost every way but their love of the series, and all you'd see on the news is the two dozen staging a wedding in Klingon costumes.
As for where I stand? Sweet Black Baby Jeebus, I've been in the fandom too long to get out completely. It's like being in a quasar at the edge of a black hole, unable to escape, but still trying to keep from being sucked in. I don't take anything having to do with furry seriously. It's just a goddamn fandom, nothing more. Then again, I don't take much of anything on SA at all seriously, either. And neither should anyone else.
Furry isn't about funny animals or even anthropomorphic animals. Some of the furries will tell you otherwise, but it's smoke and mirrors. The real truth of the matter is that furry is a sexual fetish, or rather, a collection of fetishes all based around animals. Or more accurately, having sex with animals. And as with more "mainstream" fetishes, there are two levels of commitment. First there are the more casual fetishists, who only engage in it to a moderate extent; these are the common furry fanboys. The other level consists of the lifestylers. It just so happens that the furry fetish attracts losers who become enmeshed in the fetish because it's the only way they can get laid.
Furry is the festering underside of what we can call 'anthro'. Anthro fans are the people who like funny animals and other such non-sexual things. They are the victims of the fanboys because they're not into the sexual side, so they're inflicted with it when they wander innocently into furry mistaking it for anthro.
Furry is based around a sickly center of hardcore 'spooge' artwork, 'spooge' being slang for ejaculate. Now zoophiles, who either actually fuck animals, or fantasize strongly about doing so, are held by most furries to be deviants and not representative of the fandom as a whole. But the spooge artwork which so appeals to the furries is based on anthropomorphizing animals to the point that it's okay to fuck them. Which makes all of the fandom closet zoophiles.
Some people compare SF to furry, which is ridiculous. SF is a large fandom with unseemly elements. Furry is a tiny animal fetish fandom trying hard to look like something less perverse.
TL;DR FURRIES SUCK
[edit] What the Immortal God-Emperor thinks of furfags
This is as my Master told it to me and now I tell it thee.
There are a billion names of furfaggotry! A billion kinds of furries that slither and slime and defile the land and sea and wind. Each furry is a kind of sin spawned by the internet's evil. And that internets is very sinful there are many of these damned furfags and their power is great.
As the purpose of all things in nature is to increase so it is with the furry. They would we joined them and so they seek to overcome us. In alien forms they assault us. In sleep they come to spread doubt and fear among us. They would corrupt our hearts and see us yiff too. Trust them not nor suffer them to live.
For each furfag destroyed is a soul freed from eternal bondage. Each mortal furry life extinguished is an /i/nsurgent soul raised to glory. Thus our eternal destiny is written in the blood of the furfag.
With box and tampon destroy the furfag. With pizza and koran smash the furfag. With credit card hacks and searing mormons scatter the furfag to the stars. With gore and dataforce and bandwidth raep, with hax and AIDS and jehovas, with yellow vans and steroids!
Kill them! Kill them! Kill them all!
As my Master told it me I now tell it thee that thou shalt tell others in thy turn.
gtfo our ED furfaggots
[edit] Reverse Trolling
Furfags, the "victims" of trolling for many fucking years, have sometimes attempted to turn the tables on their tormentors. These of course always fail. The more pissy furfags get, the more lulz it is for trolls, since apparently no "victims" on the internets understand that if you get pissed off and retaliate, all you do is encourage the trolls to fuck with you even more.
On February 10, 2005, a furry fucking calling itself omghi2trolls became operational, adding several people who are apparently trolls. omghi2trolls was supposed to be a parody of omghi2furries, but the "joke" failed miserably when the owner of omghi2trolls deleted his journal on the same day he created it.
In April 2004, Postvixen created biteycircusflea (in reference to Eat All Furries mainstay Singing Circus Dog) and friended several known trolls in the hopes of being return-friended and allowed to see all the deep dark secrets in whatever friends only entries they might have lying around. When a group of Internet detectives outed him, he swore up and down that he really wasn't trying to hide, REALLY. Since his journal entries as biteycircusflea were about as TL;DR as his usual ones, this might even be factual.
[edit] Furry Holocaust
[edit] Wikipedia drama
Since so much of furry existence revolves around the internets, many of wikipedia fucking admins are furfags, such as: ContiE, Fennec, Furrykef, Loganberry, Wiki alf, and Wwwwolf. There is also Xydexx. These furfags have made it their goal in life to make sure that web sites, including Wikipedia, are as accurate (read: white-washed) as possible. This involves making approximately eleventy gazillion edits to Wikipedia's "Furry" article and, when that doesn't fulfill the need for alpha-wolf dominance, also the "Furry fandom", "Funny animal", and "Talking animal" articles.
Why in the world Wikipedia has separate articles for "Furry" and "Furry fandom" in the first place is one of the many, many, many infinitesimally trivial points being bickered over between Xydexx and allegedly-cooler heads in the various articles' Discussion pages. Why? Because certain furfags want to deny that furry has anything to do with sex. There is one yiff pic in existence that doesn't resemble this and they found it and put it on their yiff article. Obsessively denying the relation between sex and furfags on wikipedia is likely the result of furry-style castration.
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[edit] Furry "Art"
Furry art is quite frequently amateurish and focuses on bizarre sex acts and interspecies mating. Often characterized by a tenuous grasp of anatomy (pictured, left). There are a few professional artists squandering their talent by drawing fox-cat-goat women having sex with horse-men with several penises. For some of the most disturbing examples of furry art do a Google image search for Doug Winger, Chanta Ra.or kemonoarts Seriously.
It's a well known fact that some furry artists take great pride in their "art", some even going to such lengths as creating paysites containing their material, or in some cases, buyable art CDs. Of course, noone wants to pay for drawings, so the material from these paysites/CDs is often ripped and rapidshared, resulting in the full, unleashed fury of the artists (that is, if they happen to be enormous faggots, which they more often than not are). Prime examples of such behavior are Jeremy Bernal, who will go to extreme lengths to prevent his stuff being distributed (he has even done so for very small sites with a tiny amount of users), and the Japanese artist Tojyo, who stopped producing art altogether after his doujins and CDs found their way into the tubes of the internets.
It's also a well known fact that much furry "art" is Rule 34.
[edit] Evolution and furfags
Darwin's Theory of Evolution is a slow gradual process. However since furfags are not fully "human", furry breeding will result in de-evolution, the reversal process in which mankind degresses into an animalistic state.
As de-evolution rears its ugly head, true fursecution shall become a political issue and each furry will receive three fifths of a vote.
[edit] What "Furry" does not mean:
[edit] What furfags say "Furry" does not mean
The term furry does not imply lycanthropy, vampirism, sexual preference, sex, age or fetish of any kind. It is a completely generalized term and does not even reflect upon the animal or being to which the person identifies with or to.
"Furry" is not to be confused with an "anthropomorph" or "anthro-evolution", which combines the physical attributes of humans and other animals (often with the human features dominating the animal features).
Just because a chick has a cameltoe does not make her a furry.
[edit] What Non-furfags hear
YIFF YIFF SCRITCH SCRITCH SCRITCH YIFF YIFF FURSONA YIFF YIFF CHANGE MY DIAPER SCRITCH SCRITCH YIFF YIFF OMG FURSECUTION!
[edit] Harmless and Consensual
This tactic rarely works.
[edit] The Solution
Obviously, furfags are a blight on the world. They sit around in their suits skullfucking each other whilst making weird animal noises. Nothing will stop them, so, there is a solution that allows them to continue their twelve-dicked horse costume lifestyle whilst contributing to society: all furfags need to be rounded up and herded into camps, where they will be forced to build cheap TV's for the poor 20 hours a day. What they do for the other 4 hours is up to them. While they'll inevitably die of exhaustion, the survivors should have no problems consuming the bodies, as they all seem to be foxes and shit.
Remember, just like witches and homosexuals, if you do not dedicate your life to end the existence of furries, you are one of them.
[edit] When is it appropriate to wear Fur suits?
You'd think it'd be never, BUT there are three instances wear you can wear a suit and not be labeled as a furry, so long as you avoid dry humping other people;
- If you're the guy that's paid or volunteers to wear your school's/team's/theme park's animal costume. Do take note that people from the other team or the other team's mascot will probably try to kick your ass. If the opposing mascot tries to fight you, be quick and twist their head/mask at a full 180ยบ and proceed to give them a quick kick in the groin. The other guy's going to try this, so watch out.
If people WITHOUT the suits try to attack you, hope that the costume you have has extendable razor sharp claws and/or talons. If the costume doesn't have it or the animal your costume represents doesn't have any sort of form of self defense, start running and hope your teammates will help you.
- During a costume party (Halloween, etc.) Same fighting rules apply, except you probably don't have teammates to back you up this time.
- You're that guy inside the mechanical bull apparatus who gets paid to harvest their bull-juices.
[edit] The 1898 Furry invasion of England
[edit] Going Public
In an attempt to give furfags equal standing, a daring interspecies romance was made public.
[edit] Nigra/Furry Incident at Otakon 2007
During the Otakon anime convention, some bitch in a fursuit wandered into the 4chan Aftermath, a mini-convention of /b/-tards outside the main doors of the Baltimore Convention Center. According to witnesses and the heroic Nigra himself, somebody shouted "Holy shit, it's a furry!" At which point the valiant /b/rother spun around and yelled: "A furry?! Where?! Oh, FUCK", charged the furfag whore, and hit her with a ghetto blaster without hesitation. Witnesses claim he "barely hit her" but the mental image of a girl in a fur suit with the mask twisting around is extremely lulzy. Otakon staff told the Nigra to stop playing music and "drawing attention to himself," at which point he crossed the street and did a victory dance to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. The police later contacted the furry, and when she took off her mask her "expression was priceless." No arrests were made, probably because she described the assaulter as "a tall white male dressed in a suit and an afro." And no one ever listens to furries.
[edit] More recent Furry invasions of England
There were no survivors but the man was later hospitalized for his injuries and has since fully recovered. No, there were NO survivors.
[edit] Furry Heaven
This is every Furry's dream:
And funnily enough, an island where all the world's furries were dumped is everybody else's dream.
[edit] Rules for being a furry
* <Anon 1> Rule #1: every male is gay, no exceptions * <Anon 1> Rule #2: all females are infact males no exceptions * <Anon 1> Rule #3: All Furries have fursuits * <Anon 1> Rule 3a: Some Furries do not have fursuits, but they pretend to be anthropomorphic in IRC * <Anon 1> Rule #4: All cons are just excuses for fay orgies * <Anon 1> Rule #5 There are no furry outside of the caucasian race * <Anon 1> Rule #6: All Furry girl pics must have breasts bigger than their head * <Anon 1> Rule #7: where ever furries go, drama surely follows * <Anon 1> Rule 8: Furies always post porn on Fridays on 4chan * <Anon 1> Rule #9: If you are a Furry, Encyclopedia Dramatica, Hates you, your family, everyone you love or care about. * <Anon 1> Rule #9a: There is probably an article about you if you are a furry. * <Anon 1> Rule #10: this is rule #10 * <Anon 1> Rule #10a: This is MADNESS * <Anon 1> Rule #10b: MADNESS? * <Anon 1> Rule #10c: THIS IS SPARTA * <Anon 2> Rule #11 furries drag things out way longer then needed * <Anon 1> Rule #12: Fuck you Anon 2 :P * <Anon 2> Rule #13 : suck my cock * <Anon 1> Rule #14: No thanks, I am not gay, like you * <Anon 3> Rule #15: This is getting old * <Anon 1> Rule #16: You do not talk about Furry * <Anon 1> Rule #17: You DO NOT talk about Furry * <Anon 2> Rule #18 : Cookies are nice * <Anon 1> Rule #19 if you click on this, nothing happens * <Anon 2> Rule #20 : Furries must jerk off at least 15 times a day * <Anon 1> Rule #20a: everyone does that anyways * <Anon 2> Rule #20b : Furry blood is used in Viagra * <Anon 1> Rule #20c: I didn't know that * <Anon 4> Rule #21: just filler..... * <Anon 1> Rule #22: every furry has a second life account * <Anon 1> Rule #23: every true furry has their species in their IRC name * <Anon 1> Rule #24: Anon Hates You, No Exceptions * <Anon 1> Rule #25: Furries must be known as furfags outside of their respective groups * <Anon 2> Rule #25a: They may also be known as such within their own group as well * <Anon 5> Rule #26 if you're a non furry and associate yourselves with furries, you will be a furry, no exceptions * <Anon 5> Rule #27 there is no fursecution, only a pack of lies made by furries to advertise * <Anon 5> rule #28 furries are narcisstic * <Anon 1> Rule #29: All Furries act exactly like on CSI?< * <Anon 5> Rule #30 So i herd furries liek mudkipz * <Anon 1> Rule #31: Shota Tiger speaks for the Furries * <Anon 5> Rule #31a Pedo Bear does not speak for furries, for there is no female furry, no exceptions * <Anon 1> Rule #31b Scat Mouse speaks for Furrie's * <Anon 1> Rule #32: Vore....worse in so many ways than Guro. * <Anon 5> Rule #33 All furries are sick fucks * <Anon 1> Rule #34: If it is anthropomorphic, there exists porn of it * <Anon 1> Rule #35 if porn does not exist, there will be porn made * <Anon 5> rule #36 There is no monkey furry * <Anon 1> Rule #37 There is no hairless cat furry * <Anon 5> Rule #38 all 95% of all furry art is homoerotic gay porn * <Anon 1> Rule #39: All furry is fail, no exception * <Anon 5> rule #40 the fail level of a song, especially when sung by a furry, has the exponential increase of
(X^2/3+4.339)<how old the furry is> * <Anon 5> Rule #41: neko girls are not furries * <Anon 1> Rule #42 - 6*9 * <Anon 5> rule #43: all french furries are pussies * <Anon 1> Rule #44 Pokemorphs are worse than furry * <Anon 5> rule #45 Chris-Chan(Sonichu kid) is not a furry, as he is to much made of phail to even be one, whoever says he is
one is doomed to die at raptor jesus's hands * <Anon 5> Rule #46 memes made by furries are unfunny * <Anon 5> rule #46a memes made against furries are, if good ones, funny * <Anon 5> rule #47 Raptor Jesus is the only possible-fur to be made of pure awesome * <Anon 1> Rule #48 everyone is furry for Krystal, Renamon, Rita, Gatomon, ZigZag * <Anon 5> Rule #49 The common "fursona" is usually a mammal, or a dragon: all other cases of "fursonas" are relatively
comprised of 25% retardation 33% creativity and 42% mudkipz * <Anon 5> Rule #50 the furry fandom is comprised of many many micro-niches, all usually created by 40 year old men, this
usually means that most art is created by 40 year old men who're most likely virgins, not a homage to the movie 40 Year Old Virgin
but, the art presented by furs usually ends up in furry operated sites, all the creators of the sites are strange and
mostly made up of fail.
RULE NUMBER FUCKING FIRST: furries = fags. go outside.
[edit] Famous Furs That Furfags Love
- Sonic The Hedgehog
- Meeko, the raccoon from Pochahontas
- Lola Bunny
- Krystal, duh
- Nearly every character from Tiny Toons.
- Brandy Harrington, from Brandy and Mr. Whiskers
- Pikachu
- Yin-Yang-Yo
- Petunia
- Renamon
- Gadget Hackwrench
- Minerva Mink
- Rita, according to 4chan, everyone is furry for this AIDS-infested fox
- Calumon
[edit] Holy shit we have a really big gallery
 Typical furry's daily comic strip |
 Furries like sex with animals, as drawn by Arania |
 Pro-yiffer propaganda disguised as harmless kiddie comics. WAKe UP AMERICA |
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 When /b/ still was good... |
 Scientists are currently thinking of ways to exterminate furfags. |
 Neutered furry without spaceballs? |
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 No way, furfags can't be female. What the fuck?! |
 Again with the female furfags. Notable: cam-posing and catgloves. |
 Jesus fucking Christ. |
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 Where is your God now? |
 furfags are always drawn with this same facial expression during sex in this sort of mock orgasm. |
 Interracial furry sex |
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 Truth about Furry art. |
 A real furry |
 A furry in the making. |
 OMG. |
 HAHAHAhuhaha >=D! |
 What Everyone Thinks about furfags. |
 One suggested improvement to furry conventions |
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 A furry about to devour his next victim. |
 c'mon u can do it its just 1 click and ur an hero |
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 Jailhouse gay furfags wish this actually happened, ever |
 Calvin knows the score |
 Mom...Dad...I'm furry... |
 The idealistic furry sextoy as taken from Mimi's Girls. YIFFY. |
 This is your brain on lonely |
 No fetish is too fucked up for furfags. |
 Furry gender reallocation success. |
 Believe it or not, the situation used to be worse |
 Surprising. |
 Pity a furry's spawn |
 Proper way to greet a furry |
 Tenuous grasp of anatomy |
 Moar interspecies romance: simian gets some pussy! |
 Making a furry |
 You're going to need this later. |
 Brother Dave Thompson spent |
 Air Canada is run by furries. |
 Some furries are too poor to afford an animal costume and have to use their pajamas. Apparently they're too poor to afford ears that match either. |
 Uh, out of your urethra, dipshit? Why would someone draw this? |
 Kids nowadays....what will they do next? |
 typical furry mating ritual |
 What to do if you see a furry |
 A Typical heart warming furry tale. |
 Furries believe cub pr0n is awwwwwiiiggghtt. |
 Chevelle: A sick fuck that wants to be raped by furries. It's true. |
 Coyote:Okay horse! I want you to run as fast as you can while we have our testicles tethered together with this rope. |
 Furry art made for mouse fuckers. |
 Typical comic made by a furfag. Story plots don't get worse this. |
 You gonna get raped. |
 Like zombies, they eat your brainssss |
 Halloween is a good time to come out of the furry closet. |
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 The MySpace of a furry. Also note the usage of a fake age. |
 tl;dr A wanna-be engineer showing where he wants others to insert the cock. |
[edit] Typically Associated with furfags
- Achaea
- A particularly fucked up individual in a group of fucked up individuals
- Animal Crossing
- Anonyfuri
- Babyfur
- Bestiality
- Cavestory
- Chuck E. Cheese's
- Closet Furry
- Crush! Yiff! Destroy!
- Darknest
- Diaperfur
- Disney
- Drama awesome
- Ewoks
- Fanart and Fanfiction
- Fat furry
- Folfs
- Furcadia
- FurreFace
- Furggotry
- FurNet
- Furseiseki
- Fursona
- Fursuit
- Fursecution
- Furluminati
- Furry Pride
- Keenspace comics
- Kuta
- Kissprincess
- LiveJournal, angst
- Macrophile
- Mallard Fillmore
- Nazi Furs
- Neon Stripes
- Noam Chomsky
- OIFY members
- Otherkin and Otakukin
- Plushie
- Postfurry
- Racist
- Retarded icons
- Registerfly -- Anything hosted by this is furry in nature
- Second Life -- up-and-coming online furry refugee camp
- Skotos -- a game-hosting site for furfags
- Sonic CulT -- Filled with closet furries
- Sonmanic
- Taxidermy -- save nature, kill a furry
- Template:Furry - all furfags need this template on their user page
- Unicorn Orgy
- Unbirthing
- VCL
- Voraphile
- Yiff
- Yiffstar
- WikiFur
- ZetaCreations -- what furfags stick up their asses.
- Christian furry
- Think laterally
[edit] External Links
- cute fu furr called themselve critters
- Sign the petition to get rid of furries on 4chan.
- Three Part Documentary. Many lulz.
- Furries and You!
- Someone discovering the truth about furfags
- A pathetic furry counterattack on the above video
- Documentary on furry fandom in vancouver.
- Short segment on BBC (mention yiffing)x
- If you have an Amazon.com account flame the fuck out of this book now
- Guide to better yiffing
- A real-life furry
- confurvatives Are you sexually attracted to cartoon animals?Do you have a really punchable face? And are you an arrogant, rich, right wing bigot who thinks you should be afforded tolerance and respect while having nothing but bitterness, intolerance and hatred for your fellow man? Then confurvatives is the community for you!
For the love of God, PLEASE TROLL ASAP!
- The Love Song of J. Sprocket Fursuit
- FurreFace Furry Facebook (NEEDS TROLLING NOW!)
- DeviantArt
- Portal of Evil: Among other things, it shows the worst of furry pages
- furfags before the internet circa 1963
- Furnies
- often shows the phycological implications of furfags
- Illlaw
- Zets_coony
- furry reaction to this page We are not joking about furfags. You are the most fucked up bunch of basement dwellers that have ever existed in the history of forever. Stop ruining my childhood faggots.
- furfags prepare for Furluminati takeover of federal governemnt
- True Collector's Items
- San Francisco furfags
- Furries: The other white meat
- Be alert, Furries hide in many forms!
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Furry is part of a series on Diseases and Disorders. |
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