Fursecution
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A portmanteau of "furry" and "persecution" (compare fursona), following the extremely annoying habit of furries who treat the language with the same respect shown by the Smurfs. (not to be confused with Jeffree Moon's"Jstar persecution")
A mainstay of Dramacrats everywhere, since the self-righteous anger and overwhelming wangst of the fursecuted inevitably leads to a)lulz and b)comparisons to the Holocaust, thus invoking Godwin's Law.
- Mundane: "I hate to ask, but could you remove your ears, please? I can't see the film."
- Furry: "OMG remove my ears! They are a part of me, you insensitive asshole! FURSECUTION!"
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[edit] Successful Fursecution:
Taxidermy is the best kind of fursecution.
Remember, all furries are scum. It is not only your right, but your duty to fursecute whenever possible. Not only is it a source of lulz and drama, but who knows; maybe you could scare one straight. Furries suffer from an acute victim complex. This makes them very easy to torment.
Being socially outcast has left furries unable to tell where they are unwanted, and will troll around deleting any content that proves they are perverts. The best way to deal with a trolling furry is to shoot them. The best way to deal with claims of fursecution is to shoot them again.
Remember: the only good furry is a dead furry.
The mystery remains whether a furry who does the thing with the anal insertion of a hamster is committing fursecution themselves. And would you call him or her an Uncle Tom&Jerry? This is a philosophical question that has troubled veterinarians for at least 100 years.
[edit] The origins of fursecution
Furries brought the hate of the internets on themselves. The large majority of furries consider their fandom a "lifestyle". Because of this, no matter how politely you tell a furry that you don't want to hear about their preoccupation with animal sex, they will get offended and accuse you of fursecuting them. Moar reasonable furries used to exist, but they went extinct at least 100 years ago. Today, any new furries are quickly scooped up and conditioned by the fascist furry state in control of the fandom.
The spectacular overreactions wrought by furries quickly caught the attention of trolls on the Internets. When some of the moar intellectual trolls dug for moar information to parody their furry targets, they unearthed some genuinely disturbing furry pasttimes, such as bestiality, body-alterations, the infamous body-paint leopards, and furries with whiskers surgically implanted in their bodies. Furries also proved to have a far higher incidence of deviant kinks such as scat, hermaphrodite worship and pregnancy fetishes, and a strange preoccupation with erect penises due to their sexual insecurity.
The trolls, realizing they'd hit a goldmine, reported their findings all over furry LiveJournals, web forums, and anywhere else. However, the reaction from the overly defensive furries was what really nailed their coffins. One after another, furries with deviant, disgusting kinks loudly defended their sick "lifestyle". Let us note here that saying a furry lives a lifestyle is like saying MTV still airs music videos. Sure, they still air videos, but mostly on TRL. Plus they only air a few short clips of said videos in favor of showing off their retarded VJs, and entertainment news you can look up on the internet. So essentially the fucked up side of furries is over 9000 times bigger then the "lifestyle" part of it.
Of course, all furries are hypocrites and have no right to complain. Given the opportunity they will readily fursecute one another as they are so disgusting that they invoke revulsion even from others of their kind.
Proof:
Remember this if you ever find yourself experiencing troll's remorse.
The sheer audacity and idiocy of these furries alienated the majority of the Internets and strongly promoted furry detractors for years to come.
Also remember that without the internet communities like this would have never been. IRL when someone says "Dude I would fuck the shit out of the rescue rangers" the person next to them laughs their ass off and then realizes the person is serious and severely beats them till they quit the negative behaviour. On the internet if someone says the aformentioned phrase its "HEY MAN I WOULD FUCK HER TOO!" and so these communities are born.
[edit] The effects of the coining of 'fursecution'
Any furry saying this term in anything resembling a serious tone is usually laughed off the internets and driven to suicide.
[edit] Anti-fursecution
The hatred for furries has only intensified since the inception of the term 'fursecution', prompting some furry groups to continue to escalate the conflict. For example, a group known as the Kadaicha Dancers targetted a Something Awful forum goon named Sockhead for trolling the LiveJournals of furries. ED is currently lacking an archive of the thread or the emails exchanged between Sockhead, his acquaintances and the psychotic Kadaicha Dancers, but basically the Kadaicha Dancers harassed Sockhead's acquaintances in the hopes of getting enough circumstantial evidence to bring criminal charges of harassment against him. Sockhead, lacking a criminal record and easily coerced friends, quickly found out about the probe and told the Kadaicha Dancers to knock it the hell off, which initially resulted in taunts from the Kadaicha Dancers regarding the charges they asserted they were going to shortly bring against him, curiously capitalizing all of their pronouns and referring to some mysterious 'agent'. How they expected to be taken seriously when saying things like "We have been speaking with Our Agent..." is still under investigation.
The taunts gave way to emo speeches about how wounds from being insulted on the Internets never went away, and finally a half-assed declaration that they simply wanted to stir up commotion on Something Awful, a community that thrives on such commotion, thus mystifying everyone involved.
There are a few other anti-fursecution incidents like this, all as laughable as the furries themselves.
Fursecution has also given rise to the furluminati that spreads propaganda claiming that there aren't homosexual furries and that there's no relation between furries and sex.
[edit] "They fired me because I'm a furry!"
Really, now. Let's go down the checklist and see for certain whether it was the fandom's fault:
- Were you looking at `yiff art,' i.e. pictures of animal characters with humanlike mammaries and other reproductive organs at work? Are you aware that people also get fired for looking up pornography at work?
- Was your bizarre behavior (barking, yelping, walking around on all fours, fursuit wearing, etc.) driving away the company's moar conservative customers, or disrupting the work of other employees?
- Did you try to explain the fandom to a coworker by showing them `yiff art?'
- Did you try to download some type of flaky furry related program (Furcadia, MUCK clients, etc.) onto a work computer?
[edit] Fursecution.net
- Fusecution.net - Free Furry Videos and Animations The newest of anti-fursecution websites. Also included is a sub-site pertaining to furry inflation. Fail furry site that greatfully died way too late. Stole everything they showed and lol'd at even by other furries.
[edit] "They won't hire me because I'm a furry!"
- Do you behave properly at the interview? (No animal noises or jabbering nonstop about the fandom, etc.)
- Do you have a presentable resume, one that only includes furry if it has a 100% relationship with the job in question? (Example: Fire fighter-no furry references are recommended. Furry comic book company-knock yourself out).
[edit] Must see fursecution
- IRL Fursecution video(NOTE. This is an actual fox, not a furfag.)
[edit] External links
- Fusecution DOT Net - Free Furry Videos and Animations, from Wikifur.
- Crush! Yiff! Destroy!, a furfaggotry site.
- Furries on fursecution, from Wikifur.
- Google finds
- Epic Win via MarinesDeleted. =(
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