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God Awful Fan Fiction

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In 1998, a bunch of people who wrote shitty fan fiction decided to "spork" shitty Fan Fiction. This site is dedicated to those people.

Lulz can be found here.

 
 
Ever since GAFF (God Awful Fan Fiction.net) decided I was to be there next victim I haven’t been able to post or write a thing. Not that I have a problem with someone giving a review, they basically took my story from this site (Which I believe goes against TOS Rules on here) with out my knowledge and tore to shreds and attacking me at the same time. Some of the fanfics reported even had kiddie porn.
 

 

—MissNola, butthurting

This is where the wank starts.
This is where the wank starts.

UPDATE: The forums were brought back up recently, but due to trolls shitting all over the place you now need to register before you can see any of the drama. Woe!

Contents

[edit] Anatomy of a GAFFer

A typical post on GAFF.
A typical post on GAFF.
A typical post on GAFF.
A typical post on GAFF.

Your average GAFFer fits into at least three of the following categories:

Most GAFFers still cringe over Mpreg, even though they secretly masturbate to it. A disproportionate number are fat, closet furries or bitches with Asperger's syndrome. The younger ones mostly are made up of 4chan rejects that even Fandom_Wank won't let in.

SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT ASS BURGERS!!!11
SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT ASS BURGERS!!!11

[edit] GAFF Celebrities

MarvinMan/Spigot the Bear: CAPSLOCK COCKS COCKS FAT FANFICTION FAGGOTS HURF BLURF FAT COCKS EVERYWHERE.

Harley Quinn Hyenaholic: GAFF's resident furry and proud ass pie who would rather be a fucktard than a neurotypical, mundane functional member of society. Writes about robots having AIDS, Shadow the Hedgehog being a rapist, and Sonic being an abusive husband. A reliable staple of lolcow milk. She also can't go without somehow inserting rape into every single one of her stories and thinks she's the best on aff.net. She likes to masturbate to her own stories.

Miss Kitten: Paris Hilton's spokeswoman and lesbian lover.

Ian Gainsborough: A furry with an obsession for roleplaying Mary-Sues and stalking other GAFFers.

Thanos6: A bitch, nuff said.

Heywood: Self-proclaimed King of GAFF and squick. In actuality, he's a fat furry faggot who wants to spoon with Inuyasha. He is also a necrophyliac

Knorg: An unfunny troll who still thinks Goatse is new and exciting. Sucks hairy donkey balls.

Johnny Wizard: May or may not have been a robot. Periodically posted copypasta rants against the Bush Administration, but has not been seen since the Voy forums. Goodnight sweet prince.

[edit] How to be a GAFFer

Your typical GAFFer will follow this pattern:

  1. Overreact as much as possible.
  2. Remember that *HEADDESK BLEACH CLEACH SPORK HEADDESK FACEPALM SPORK SPORK* is a well-thought-out argument for the shittiness of a piece of writing.
  3. Complain about Marvin/Spigot, Knorg, and other trolls at least once per post.
  4. Say "NOTHING CAN SQUICK ME!!!1" then yell "SPORK OH GOD BLEACH" at the next Snape/Harry assbaby pic that appears in Godawful Fanart.
  5. Worship Heywood and Knorg.
  6. Write Transformers bishie Mpreg yaoi fanfic about robots and hedgehogs having lubeless buttsex.
  7. Use the phrase: "______KILLED/RAPED/RUINED MY CHILDHOOD" over 9000 times.
  8. ???
  9. Profit!

[edit] Subforums

[edit] New Releases

This is where fat fanfiction faggots go to make fun of faggoty fanfiction with other fat fanfiction faggots.

[edit] Golden Oldies

This is where fat fanfiction faggots go to wax lyrical about the bestiality harem mpreg yaoi video game rapefics of times past.

[edit] In Progress

This is where fat fanfiction faggots go to ask for help for their faggoty fanfiction from other fat fanfiction faggots.

[edit] Godawful Fanart

Where fat fanart faggots go to complain about every single bishie drawn by every single 16-year-old-girl on DevianTART.

[edit] Gabbery

Where fat fanfiction faggots go to waste time, bandwidth, and Site Guru's money with useless polls about SHOULD I SUCK HEYWOOD'S DICK OR NOT????? (By the way, if you're a true GAFFer, the answer is yes).

[edit] Revolution

Some considered the site unfunny and boring, so Kijuro and MarvinMan (now known as Spigot the Bear) decided to rock its world with hilarity. Other unregistered trolls such as Wel Zen joined in the melee and many lulz ensued, but a lot of members, like the French, ran away scared with their tail between their legs.

Another noteable troll was Meowbark. While she wasn't much of a troll; she came in, trying to defend her badly done fancomics, which turned Chipp's thread into a mini wank thread. She was 11 years old and failed to read the GAFF rules. She clearly said "Me no read rules!" She also claimed her character was created before Inuyasha. She also tried to post artwork she hated, however, she was shot down. Meowbark disapeared off Godawful for a while and then returned. She also used chatroom speak.

Another minor troll was Neotailslink, who tried to defend his crossover fanfics, but failed. But in reality, the unregistered trolls did the hardwork, while Kijuro and MarvinMan were the charismatic cocks who got through life with their good looks...

When suddenly, after a long hiatus, the Site Guru comes back and shut the site down, leaving only the following message:

 
 
Well you've certainly managed to make a mess of the place, haven't you? I've taken the forums offline while I clean up the shit and have the carpets dry cleaned.

And after that? It's beyond time we got the forums working properly. Check for updates on the Updates Page, not here. When the forums go online it won't be at this address anyway and you'll miss all the excitement.

Regards, Guru

P.S. The log-in box below only works for admins. You're wasting your time even trying.
 


 

—Site Guru, on the closing of the forums.

[edit] Replacement Boards

A replacement board with the name "Temporary Godawful.net Forums" or something really shitty like that was made and it was even faggier than the original but then it got TOSsed. Here is the next replacement board. Three other sites were online briefly after that and were overrun by trolls as quickly as they were created.

IanGainsborough in all his flaming homosexuality.
IanGainsborough in all his flaming homosexuality.
 
 
Ian Gainsborough was, possibly, the most dismayed to see his second home taken by Trolls. His eyes were red with the tears of rage he shed fleeing the beloved Tower. He gripped tightly to his shotgun and assault rifle, the only two things he managed to grab hold of.

He heaved a silent sob, turning away. The once silver obelisk that he once called home was now in shambles, Trolls howling and roaring and rolling in their own bile.

"We will win you back," he vowed silently, "I swear it on my GAFF code Number." Ian turned away from the horrible sight, a new cascade of tears welling and letting in his eyes. Somehow I have no pity.

Ian had little time to act. If anything, he knew what he had to do. He had to reach the armory on Sub-Level 2, acquire a rocket launcher and destory the Site Guru's office. Running the plan in his head, it seemed more a cakewalkthan actually doing it. Every Trolls he crossed, his trigger finger twitched, and the Troll was down. If any of the Trolls got into the Site uru office, they would have access to everything and anything to do with the GAFFers. Much to his knowledge, the office of the Site Guru was locked, and security codes only the Site Guru knew. So for now, it was safe. Even with the elevators down, it would take an age and a half to climb all forty floors to the office. So for now, Ian was safe in knowing none of the Trolls could make it.

Ian, meanwhile, blasted a Troll in the face, cocking his shotgun one-handed. He wasn't sure how many shells he wasted on the Trolls, and reloaded the shotgun with shells from his pocket whenever necessary. A GAFFer screamed past Ian's position, and he looked up, a Troll in hot pursuit. Ian stuck his leg out to trip up the Troll, drawing a hidden katana from within his trench coat and halving the Troll with a tremendous slash.

"Ian! cried the GAFFer, "what are you doing in the Tower still?"

"Saving what's left of it," answered Ian helping the GAFFer to their feet. "Go find other survivng GAFFers and get them out. I may have to bring down the Tower completely. I'm not letting the Trolls take control. Go!"
 


 

— IanGainsborough, roleplaying the TROLLWARRIOR of GAFF.

[edit] The GAFF Rebirth

The Site Guru bought a server for GAFF and finished the creation of the new forums and opened it up to registered members sometime last Thursday. It has since been shitted up by furries, Harley Quinn Hyenaholic, and fat fanfiction faggots.

[edit] See Also

[edit] External Links

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