GG Allin
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Contents |
[edit] Life as an IRL Troll
Jesus Christ Allin aka GG Allin, was one of the greatest IRL trolls of the 80's and early 90's and was the ORIGINAL /b/tard. One night after a bout of heavy drinking, strung out on crack and PCP; Merle Allin Sr. had a hallucination of a christ-like figure with the head of a Velociraptor in the vision he was told that his unborn son would be the new messiah and his sole purpose was to provide lulz until the internets could be created. In a drunken stupor Merle staggered over to his wife. He then proceeded to punch her in the stomach and let her know that their unborn son's name was going to be be Jesus Christ, and she should get the fuck back in the kitchen before he let her have it again. The nickname GG comes from GG's older brother's inability to speak fucking english correctly as a child. GG grew up in a dirty log cabin with no electricity or running water in the middle of fucking nowhere. GG's father insisted that electricity and water was for fucking pussies and he wanted his kids to grow up to be a couple of hardmen. His father would beat the living piss out of him on a daily basis and make him hunt his own food out in the woods, naked, in the middle of winter with a rusty steak knife, to toughen him up.
[edit] Trolling Techniques
His lyrics are a hateful tapestry of obscenity, created solely to piss people off, but onstage was where the lulz really took place. A typical GG Allin show consisted of him injuring himself, threatening to become An hero onstage, pissing off the audience by throwing things at them pissing onstage, performing in nothing but a jock strap or no clothes at all. No matter what happened onstage it always ended the same way; with GG covered in blood and shit. Taking laxatives before shows was a must for GG as shitting on stage, eating it and flinging it at the audience was becoming a common part of his act. His concerts never lasted very long as they were always interupted somehow, GG had been arrested numerous times for vandalism, indecent exposure, assault and battery. He was also very skilled in the fine arts of mugging, breaking and entering and other common irl trolling techniques.
GG trolling the scum for the lulz (Although it might just be ADD)
[edit] Music
GG's experimented with a wide variety of music genres including Punk rock, Spoken Word, and Country music.
| —GG Allin on how 133t he is |
| —GG Allin,teenage twat |
[edit] As a Professional Rapist
In late 1989, GG was bored so he got really fucked up on heroin and decided to pwn one of his female friends with his massive meat mallet and torture her. After an extensive psyche evaluation by the nations top psychiatrists, it was determined he was completely sane and just did it simply for the lulz. He claimed that it was completely consesual sex. Fortunately she was batshit insane and couldn't get her story straight. The judge then realized she must have had borderline personality disorder and was a complete attention whore and probably asking for it. GG was charged with a lesser crime but still served some time. In jail he wrote a buch of manifestos and shit that isn't important enough to mention
[edit] Death
After trashing the fuck out of the venue at his last show, GG walked the streets of New York City covered in blood and shit until he reached his friend's apartment where he and his adoring fans drank heavily and took copius amounts of drugs. GG died of a heroine overdose, but decided to go out like a real man, quietly without any whining or a myspace post. Everyone assumed he passed out from all of the drugs and alcohol in his system like he usually did and continued to Party Hard. His funeral was one big fucking party. As per request he was buried unwashed, covered in shit, in a leather jacket and his trademark jockstrap with a bottle of Jim Beam. Coincidentally he died in 1993 right around the time Al Gore created the series of tubes we now know as The Internets, where pissing people off has become an artform. He is buried in the middle of fucking nowhere a.k.a Littleton NH.
[edit] PARTY HARD GG!
Recently after a failed raid on Hal Turner's faggot ass radio show by 7chans /b/ and fail fags g00ns.net, a nigger posted a picture of GG, saying he was reporting in to the raid. In the ONLY lulzworthy turn of events in the raid, Hal began reciting memes and mistook the picture as a meme known as PARTY HARD GG. Being that GG Partied like none other during his life, he took his place as claimer of the throne and became an meme.
[edit] See Also
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GG Allin is part of a series on Music. |
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GG Allin is part of a series on Trolls. |
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Categories: Music | Trolls | People
