Adolf Hitler
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Interesting Fact: This article contains an hero. |
Whether you like him or not, you have to admit that Hitler killed a lot of Jews. During his dictatorial reign of Nazi Germany he exterminated somewhere around over 9000 Jews, and some over 9,000 other cunts nobody gives a dick shit about, in the Lolocaust. He also invented the Volkswagen, and was the first modern person to almost pwn the entire world with militaristic bitch-slapping, in the form of air raids and Blitzkrieg. On the other hand, Hitler was also a sensitive man. When he was younger, Hitler went to art school. He was a vegetarian, a non-smoker, and also had a mustache. On the downside, he dropped out of art school, slept until three in the afternoon every day, and threw temper tantrums if you tried to wake him up. Basically, he was a big angry retard.
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[edit] WWII
In 1938 tensions were rising in Europe as Poland would not give 'Danzig' (Lead singer of his OMG TEH FAVORITE BAND LOL DA MISFITS) back to Germany. This made Hitler angry. In 1939 Hitler told the leader of Poland to give him Dunkirk and buttsecks or face war. Poland did not agree and a couple German soldiers marched into and raped Poland. After a few days Russia joined the troll on Poland too. Why? Because it's Poland. That was reason enough.
After Poland was pwned like the bitch it was, Hitler then went on to completely take out Denmark, Norway, Holland and Belgium all in a couple of weeks. Finally, Hitler pwned France as the French just rolled over and took it in the ass. After France was subjugated (Or really just changed hands), he made it into a bitch called Vichy France who's job was to suck his cock (a fine way to compliment the French is to say that the only golden era in the History of France was a brief period between 1940 and 1945). He then tried to bomb England to surrender and invade Russia for the lulz, but finally he got bored and decided that killing Jews was a better use of his time (easy decision, amirite?)
[edit] An Heroism
In 1944 the Ally troops invaded and pwned the Germans in France then they pressed forward toward Germany and in 1945 the Soviets surrounded Berlin and were looking to zerg rush on the Reichstag. Things were not looking good for our hero. Legend has it that Hitler decided that he'd rather die married than die gay. So he married his cousin, Eva Braun, then committed suicide (Moar like JEWicide, amirite?) like the little emo bitch he was. In reality, being the angst-ridden man-child that he was, he killed himself ten days after his birthday because some of his friends didn't show up at his party at the YMCA. It also may have helped that the Russians were about one block away from where he was hiding, and they were hankerin' for a Hitler lynching. Unfortunately, he turned to an heroism before they could get to him. Eventually the Russians descended on the rest of Berlin like a big smelly wall of rape and surprised every surviving man, woman, child, occasional retard covered in shit within a 50 mile radius. In retaliation|retardiation for his faggotry, Stalin made Hitler's skull into a jizz bowl. This is officially recognized as the high point in German history.
[edit] Why Hitler Did What He Did
He did it for the lulz.
[edit] Hitler and The Internets
Recently there has been a new unprecedented Internet obsession with Hitler. In the quest for trying to be different, '90s bred bipolar forums users turn to other subcultures to try and stand out. There are many Internet identities that claim to be the new Hitler, even though Satan would never bestow such an honor on some basement dweller. Neo-Nazis have also gained Internet access and have begun trying to lure these forlorn angst-ridden teens into a world of viking metal and saluting photos of dead guys.
Hitler is also one of the most talked about people on internet forums and message boards. No matter what the subject is, there is no doubt that Hitler's name will come up eventually in conversation OTI. It is also customary on the internet to post Hitler's likeness repeatedly as a sign of friendship and respect. In short, the internets <3 Hitler.
[edit] Hitler on JewTube (click to expand)
Deutschland Represent!
Pokemon as sung by Hitler
I've been busy, protecting the German Race
Hitler gets banned from Xbox Live
Power Rangers do Hitler
Pokémon promotes Hitler
Piplup is actually saying "Hitler, Hitler, Hitler" or "sieg heil, Hitler".
Hitler dances the night away
Hitler's visit to the USA during World War 2
[edit] FRESH FUHRER OF BEL-AIR
- IN BRAUNAU AUSTRIA BORN AND RAISED
- VIENNA WAS WHERE I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS
- CHILLIN OUT, MAXING, RELAXING ALL COOL
- AND THINKING OF WAYS TO ANNIHILATE THE JEWS
- WHEN A COUPLE OF KIKES
- WHO WERE UP TO NO GOOD
- STARTED RAISING LOANS IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD
- I SET UP ONE LITTLE CAMP AND RUSSIA GOT SCARED
- THEY SAID ‘IF YOU INVADE POLAND CAN WE AT LEAST SHARE?’
- I WHISTLED FOR MY CAR AND WHEN IT CAME NEAR
- THE LICENSE PLATE SAID "FUHRER" AND EVA BRAUN WAS IN THE REAR
- IN GERMANY FUCKING YOUR OWN COUSIN WAS RARE
- BUT I THOUGHT "NAH FORGET IT," YO HOME TO BERLIN!
- I CAUGHT MILLIONS OF JEWS, ABOUT 7 OR 8
- AND I YELLED TO HYMIES "YO HOLMES, SMELL YA LATER"
- I SHIPPED EM TO CAMPS, WHEN THEY WERE FINALLY THERE,
- I TOOK EM ALL OUT, WITH SOME GAS IN THE AIR.
[edit] Adolf Hitler Fun Facts
- Hitler wasn't even German, he was
AustrianAustralian. - Hitler served in the German army in WWI, and got pwned with phosgene gas by the Allies and spent months in a hospital despite the fact that nerve gas would have killed him instantly.
- A dog saved his life from being hit by a mortar round. Good job, Lassie. Dog was repaid with massive buttsecks
- Hitler lieks mudkipz.
- He was a vegetarian. Not out of principles but because he had horrible IBS and gastritis and his stomach couldn't handle meat(Though his colon and lower intestine seemed to handle it just fine). He also had terrible breath and smelled bad.
- His dog was named
'Blondie'Blondi, shithead. Quiz your history teacher on that one! - He actually wanted to become an artist.
- He painted houses before he became emo.
- He was addicted to meth and had syphilis, just like every other white supremacist.
- After dealing with the Jews, he planned on coming after the furries next (which makes him inherently okay).
- Hitler was the undisputed World Yo-yo Champion Champion from 1939-1945.
- If Hitler had lived out his dream of becoming an artist, he would now have over 9000 more pageviews than Snapesnogger.
- When his mother was pregnant with him, she wanted to get an abortion but her doctor talked her out of it, talk about your close call!
- Hitler only had one testicle.
- They Saved Hitler's Brain!
- Hitler decided to start a little war just for the lulz.
- Hitler fucked your Mom, but frankly...who didn't?
- Hitler's Dad was also his Great Uncle.
- Big fan of The Jonas Brothers
- Hitler, because of his definition of a Jew, was a Jew. And since Jews did WTC, Hitler is responsible for 9/11. Suck on that Osama.
- Hilter couldn't spell his own name.
[edit] List of Internet Nazism
[edit] Gallery
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[edit] See Also
- Nazi
- Hitler: The Babe within
- Angry German Kid
- Mecha-Hitler
- Colonel Klink
- Holocaust Porn
- 卐
- Kitler
- David Icke
- Tranquility Bay
- Bureaucratic Fuck
- Emo
- Hal Turner
- W
- Saving The Internet
- Godwin's Law
[edit] External Links
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Adolf Hitler is part of a series on Nazis. |
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