Gaston
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A sort of popular meme on 4chan /b/. His main purpose is to tenderly love all the women who stand in his way, his secondary purpose was to counter desu, as he is the essence of manliness.
Contents |
[edit] The man, the legend, Gaston
Made entirely of Titanium, steel and diamond, it is said that he once punched a hole in the space time continuum and killed Hitler and Jesus at the same time. His only goal in life is to have sex with as many women as possible, his current record being 6 (Suiseiseki, Souseiseki, Suigintou, Kanaria, Shinku, Hinaichigo ---he is apparently a dollfag), and to kill furries like the Beast. He is champion of everything, because Noone can (insert verb here) like Gaston.
It is even rumoured that Gaston is a distant relative of Chuck Norris, and he hates that bastard.
Last Thursday, a challenger appeared to counter Gaston's title as the essence of manliness. Yuri Kerane, along with his rape-toy Ghinius, declared himself to be more manly than Gaston. It is yet unknown who the victor is. Not to mention his rival Clayton, a lame hilarious forced meme born from the depths of 7chan. Some argue this is Speedycat's doing.
Gaston was originally in the Disney film Beauty and the Beast. Though the film shows Gaston getting pwned, the original ending was that he not only made the Beast into a nice rug, but then proceeded to stick it in Belle's pooper before ordering her to make him a sandwich. The rest is history.
[edit] Nigston
At least 100 years ago there was battle that took place among the furfags of Furasia and Nigraland. The battle ended with the Furfags releasing their ultmate AIDS Furry Mech. All of the Nigras even Gaston were beaten down. This was until one elite nigra did the fusion dance with Gaston and created Nigston and destroyed the furfag army. At his point, Anon is not postive on what Nigston looks like, but their shooping photoshops as we know it to find the truth.
[edit] Gallery
 You're doing it wrong, dumbass. |
 The wonders of matrimony. |
 A threesome proposition. |
 Gaston and his army. |
 Lookin' handsome all the time. |
 A CHALLENGER APPEARS. |
 Nobody takes the knot like Gaston. |
 The Beast? A challenger appears. |
 Gaston likes a nice cup of tea. Let's hope he cleans the crockery afterwards.]] |
[edit] Gaston Video and Modified Lyrics
Play this tune with these modified lyrics every time you're feeling the anti-lulz is killing the internet hate machine.
- Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Anon
- looking so down in the dumps.
- Everyone here'd love to be you Anon
- even when taking your lumps.
- There's no man in /b/ as admired as you
- you're everyone's favorite troll.
- Everyone's awed and inspired by you
- you obese, unforgiving asshole.
- No...one...posts like Anon
- no one boasts like Anon
- No one makes creepy threads full of ghosts like Anon.
- For there's no man online half as manly
- perfect, a man free of fail
- you can ask any Doug, Snacks or Zimmer
- and they'll tell you who posts girls worth a trip to jail.
- No...one...flames like Anon
- No one blames like Anon
- No one's got ROMs of pirated games like Anon
- Anonymous: "To your 12 year old niece I'm INDIIIIMIDATING"
- My what a guy that Anon!
- Give five "Win and God"s
- Give twelve internets
- Anon is the best
- and the rest
- fake their GETs.
- No...one...faps like Anon
- worships Japs like Anon
- No one posts his collection of traps like Anon.
- Girls: For there's no one as mean and abusive.
- Anonymous: Hey you cunts, Tits or GTFO.
- Whether massive or scraggly and scrawny.
- Anonymous: "I've got millions of images I want to show".
- No one's met an Anon
- makes us wet like Anon
- No one's openly gay for Bridget like Anon.
- Anonymous: "I'm especially good at hidiiiing my loli".
- OHSHI- Partyvan for Anon!
- Anonymous: "When I was a lad I saved porn every day, and I watched my collection grow large.
- But then I found /b/ and the others like me
- now it's roughly the size of a baaaaarge".
- No...one...hits like Anon
- matches wits like Anon
- No one pays Gaia camwhores for tits like Anon.
- Anonymous: "ZOMG REI I CAME *FAPFAP-FAAAAAAAAAP-FAPFAPFAP*"
[edit] See also
