Genital Herpes
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Genital Herpes -or Herpes Simplex (but more commonly known simply as "herpes"- is a DNA virus which is God's gift to The Lulz. It won't kill you but once you have -like a red tattoo- it's permanent.
A permanent STD that, according to advertisements for herpes medication Valtrex, will cause you to live a more glamorous life: riding horseback through the ocean shores of California, white-water rafting in the Colorado River, riding a motorcycle through the chilly evening desert plains, and climbing the rugged terrain of the Appalachian Mountains.
In fact, you get genital herpes because you are a whore. Feel free to treat those with genital herpes like the smegma-sucking, santorum-licking low-life shits that they are.
However since 1-in-4 Americans over age 12 have teh herp, good luck with that. Imagine, if you will, going to see your local baseball team and the stadium is at near capacity...10,000 of your fellow beer swilling, hot dog eating brethren are herpetic. Feel better now?
[edit] What to do if you have herpes
The proper treatment for genital herpes is with bacteriostatics and antivirals, such as acyclovir. Acyclovir should be taken orally in 200 mg doses 5 times per day (for a total of 1 g daily) for 10 days. Oh, what's that? Your stupid health care system doesn't provide you with prescription coverage? No problem: you can always practise the tried-and-true method of just not telling people that you have herpes because, hey, you're not contagious if you don't have active sores, right?
[edit] Celebrities With "Da Herp"
- David Hasselhoff
- Fred Durst
- Paris Hilton
- Britney Spears
- Ron Mexico
- Jessica Alba
[edit] It's not a herpes lesion
It's...
- A "cold sore"
- Just dry lips
- A gift that keeps on giving
- Pustulent squelae filled with purulent fluid and exudate
- AIDS
- An optical illusion
