George Carlin

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

This old fuck was willing to die for the lulz... and did. And he still wasn't as good as Lenny Bruce.

A true lying-ass junkie fuck to the hippy-dippy end

George Carlin is was a leftard comedienne whose original and powerful insights about his country and about humanity made him an hero in the eyes of angsty 13-year-old boys, raging atheists, and decrepit old hippies. Being a raging atheist himself, he liked to troll his audience by asking God to "strike them dead." One of his most famous acts, "Seven Dirty Words," cemented itself in American popular culture as a classic because in the average vocabulary there are, in fact, seven dirty words--which is why ultimately all TV and radio fail, because we can't hear them.

Paradoxically; not at all in keeping with the rest of Carlin's retarded acts, his views on the environment are good for much lulz - on account that they would cause every piece of filth Commie in the audience to spontaneously combust.

George Carlin, a die-hard atheist, was smitten by the angry hand of God on June 22, 2008.

Note: Some argue that The Seven Dirty Words bit is frighteningly similar to a lot of Lenny Bruce's material in the mid-1960s (primarily due to the fact that they both used naughtynaughtynaughty words), when people thought Bruce in a bathrobe onstage was too batshit insane to tell jokes. After Bruce died, when suspected of borrowing someone's act, Carlin would say he was "carrying on the tradition" or "carrying the torch" which was his way of saying "Fuck him, finders keepers!". Carlin was the joke-stealing Carlos Mencia / Denis Leary / Dane Cook pioneer genius of his day, except that he was respectful enough to wait for the other motherfucker to die before ripping him off.

[edit] Life

SHIT PISS FUCK CUNT COCKSUCKER MOTHERFUCKER TITS how come no one's laughing? Are they all Howard Stern fans?

Even though he was born and raised in ~~West Philadelphia~~ Jew York, he was actually Irish-American, which made all of his race commentary completely racist. He attended a Catholic school, but later became an outspoken atheist, after reaching the age of reason, which made him a lot moar edgy and cool. Despite his anger and cynicism towards society, he always considered himself a "personal optimist," i.e. a happy family man. However, his wife died rather early, making him an eligible bachelor. Since then he has put out 10 or more HBO specials and had more heart attacks than Cheney, and still couldn't become a more modern version of Lenny Bruce or Richard Pryor because, well, he did way too many HBO specials.

[edit] The Seven Dirty Words (when lulz and anti-lulz collide)

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, motherfucker, cocksucker, tits.

Back in the 70s, some old fuck was driving around Jew York with his son in the car listening to AM radio looking for 12 year old girls that he and his boy could convert to Christianity. Upon hearing Carlin's routine, the man pissed himself when the word "paedofuck" wasn't included, despite the fact that there were already two variations of the word in Carlin's nonsensical ravings. To wit, he telephoned (cell phone with chords, dial, and no cell) the FCC complaining of discrimination against incestuous, gang-raping paedophiles.

This action led to the landmark Supreme Court ruling that censorship is OK when performed in the name of anti-lulz. Unfortunately for the people of the time, Al Gore had yet to invent the Intertubes, so the world was deprived of Epic lulz for over 9000 years (Due, of course, to everyone's inability to spam the whiney little bitch.

This ruling killed comedy as many knew it at the time, as it resulted in an influx of even more hack comics (see below), whom to this day earn the millions that rightfully belong to Lenny Bruce. This void of lulz lasted At least 100 years, ending with Jesse Jackson's lulziest of maneuvers when he stuck it to the man when he freed the hostages from Iran when President Carter couldn't. (See: Irony)

Anyway...Eventually Al Gore saved us all from anti-lulz hell by giving all of us a medium by which cosmic lulz balance is currently being restored. Carlin's death marks the shifting of this balance between the lulz and anti-lulz, and there ain't shit that the Supreme Court can do to stop the lulz ever again, since lulzkillers provide infinite material for the lulz.