George Washington
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
George Washington is wrongly regarded as having been a somehow significant figure in the founding of the United States, when in fact he was a notoriously horrible military strategist with a pear-shaped body. Nonetheless, he was the nation's first president.
Not to forget, he couldnt of done what he did, without the help of the french (or as they are known in france les cunts).
To his credit, he wouldn't allow anyone to call him "His Excellency" or "Your Excellency" or "That Guy Over There, Yeah, Him, That Guy's Excellency, It Truly Excels" or anything like that. But Washington's deficits included an inability to have children (ha, ha) and the kind of schoolmarmish faggotry that would lead a general to advise his troops thusly:
The General is sorry to be informed that the foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing, a vice heretofore little known in an American army, is growing into fashion. He hopes the officers will, by example as well as influence, endeavor to check it, and that both they and the men will reflect, that we can have little hope of the blessing of Heaven on our arms, if we insult it by our impiety and folly. Added to this, it is a vice so mean and low, without any temptation, that every man of sense and character detests and despises it.
Whatever, fag.
George Washington is also credited with pwning the Red Coats out of teh US of Eh and perminatly sticking his boot into King George's anus. Since then the British have been scared so shittless of the United States that they do whatever we do. Except for in 1814 when they came back and pwned the USA all over it's fat face in a re-match.
The true founders of the United States were batshit crazy Thomas Jefferson and radical pervert Benjamin Franklin.
[edit] Fun Fact
Washington had, like, 30 god damn dicks. George Washington was totally gay for Abe Lincon
Matt Bradley and George were total BFFs
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