Georgia, USA
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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[edit] Breaking news
Russia had invaded Georgia in a bid to attain a vital foothold into America. They choose Georgia after a study to find the state other Americans hate the most.
Georgia is in the Southern United States, located near some other fuckbag Southern states, some of which have weed farms, and Florida, the state that sets the standard for the American democratic process, especially concerning Presidential elections. [1] Georgia's chief exports are Sweettea, designer bib overalls, and fine upstanding politiciansthat set an example for the rest of the nation. Famous cities in Georgia include Atlanta, Augusta, and Athens, home of REM and The B-52's. The rest of Georgia is largely unpopulated by humanoid life.
[edit] Georgia Facts
- Georgia was not founded as a debtor's colony, and was actually founded by James Oglethorpe so he could have gay sex with Methodist faggots.
- It is not a well known fact that most Southerners are pissed about losing the Civil War, unless you fucking live here and hear about it every five goddamn minutes.
- Southerners purchase the most Sweettea flavored edible undies in the entire world
- If your sister is pretty, it's okay to go ahead and kiss her.
- Vidalia Onions are considered aphrodisiacs.
- Tobacco spit can be used for lubrication on any Georgia woman's punani.
- Sweatpants are okay for any occasion, up to and including meeting the governor.
- Yankees are only second to niggers and spics, unless they happen to be both. If you're a Spigger or even a Spiggerican Yankee, you best just keep yo' mouth shut, boy.
- In Georgia, children learn their numbers as "1, 2, Earnhardt, 4, etc." In addition, the number 8 is replaced with "Junior", and the number 24 is replaced with "Faggot".
- Once you pass the third grade, you are allowed to operate on human beings and animals, as you will probably be the smartest motherfucker in the entire state.
[edit] People
Georgia, as is the case with most of the South is well known for big fat rednecks with huge fucking heads[2], the Ku Klux Klan, and old pickup trucks with the rebel flag on them. You can spot a typical ol' Georgia boy by a Ned Flanders moustache, chewin' tobaccy stained teeth, and liberal use of colorful Southernisms. A Georgia boy usually has really sunburnt skin, and has that sickly sheen to their skin that lets you know they drink enough moonshine to kill an ordinary human being. Most Georgians finish learning at the fourth grade, since most of 'em are just going to own landscaping businesses or mooch off their stripper wife, anyways.
They love black dudes in Georgia. They used to love them so much they gave them their own water fountains, schools, and even set aside a special section at the end of the bus to let them know that they are loved and treasured. They still love and treasure black people to this day, by having them clean their houses and make their burgers for them. They love black dudes so much, They even have their own special concrete homes, in the best part of town!
However, depsite the "love" of black dudes, since no one in Georgia is fucking employed about 90% of the economy is based around black men in baggy pants who want us to get crunk. Pretty much the only reason that we haven't sold Georgia to Mexico or Canada is because Lil John makes like 50 bazillion dollars every minute. The other 10% of the economy is made up of redneck comedian Jeff Foxworthy.
A Georgia boy usually communicates in short bursts, such as "Shut up, bitch!" and "Fucking Yankee! Take yer fancy book learnin' and go home!" Georgia women are known as "Georgia Peaches" because they spend most of their time on their back with their legs open, peach in full view for the world to see.
[edit] Culture
Georgia culture is amongst the most diverse in the entire world. Here is a list of things that are popular activities in Georgia culture:
- Fucking your sister
- Fucking your brother
- Fucking "Uncle Dad"
- Moonshine
- Fucking your sister, your brother, and "Uncle Dad", while drinking moonshine
- Chasing around those Duke Boys
- Mishandling the dead (Such as Georgia's news sources are, it's not surprising that only a out of state news source actually had the story)
- Barbecue
- Fucking your sister, your brother, and "Uncle Dad", while drinking moonshine at a barbecue
- Science!!
[edit] Drugs
The drug of choice in Georgia is Crystal Meth, followed by Oxycontin. You can find a Meth lab by noticing one exploding and thereby taking out half your apartment building at three a.m. on any given day. Just sniff around for that wonderful ammonia smell, and put on your fucking helmet. Better yet, don't. You can get Oxycontin by kicking Grandma down the stairs and taking it from her by force, that greedy bitch. She hogs it all. Bitch, cancer don't hurt that bad! Weed: Only used by Yankees and other immigrants.
- There's also crack, but it's very Passé these days.
[edit] Sports
NASCAR!! Yeee-hoooooo!! Grow yourself a cum-catcher moustache, grab a Moon-Pie and some RC Cola, fuck your sister and turn on the race!! You might even see a bitch get hit in the face with a tire! Note: Dale Earnhardt is still dead. It is said that one day he will rise from the graveyard, and bring all the boys and girls some trucker caps and moustache cream, as long as they stayed good little Republicans all year round.
Yankee bashing It's important to treat anybody born above the Potomac River like absolute shit, keying their car, shunning them, and picking fights for reading books in public. Book learnin' is for fags, and don't you forget it!
Wife beating This one explains itself. Double points for wearing a wife beater while beating your wife. That bitch can't cook dinner worth a shit, and you need to let her know. See "Benoit, Chris".
Shirtless Track and Field It's easy to learn this sport. Smack your wife in the eye, wait for the cops, whip off your shirt and start jumpin' fences. You'll probably get away, most cops are really fat fucks in Georgia.
Golf: The sport of choice for rich, white motherfuckers. Put on some ill-fitting pants, suck in your gut and get out on that golf course. Keep those fuckin' women out of my club! They gots to be barefoot and pregnant!! G.entleman O.nly L.adies F.orbidden. The Augusta National[3] is the most famous golf course in all of golfdom, even black dudes love playing at the Augusta National. It is located amongst 30 fucking miles of chain fast food restaurants, stores, discarded Skoal canisters, dead hookers, and used car lots.
Rootin' out homos Despite professing to be God-fearing, bible thumping uptight upright heterosexual people, spend as much as time as possible trying to find out who partakes in the love that dare not speak its name (unless it's $3.99 a minute). Picket movies like Brokeback Mountain, and keep an eye out for teh fabulous.
[edit] Trolling TOW
For some quick lols, go to Wikipedia:Georgia and ask why the article isn't about the US state. The Wikipedophiles there hate freedom and will probably ban your IP for life for it.
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