Woman

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A woman's 'personality'
A woman's 'personality'
All they're good for.
All they're good for.
A mind mouth is a terrible thing to waste
A mind mouth is a terrible thing to waste
MAEK SAMMICH NAOW!
MAEK SAMMICH NAOW!
white girls love black cock
white girls love black cock
Sho' wish ah knew how to read.  O well it gots picturz
Sho' wish ah knew how to read. O well it gots picturz
Daisy is sooo gonna get it!
Daisy is sooo gonna get it!
The traditional method of debate when dealing with women
The traditional method of debate when dealing with women
Yahoo's finally going back to the traditions.
Yahoo's finally going back to the traditions.
example of The man
example of The man
What women are good for
What women are good for
The difference between what women think and what actually happens
The difference between what women think and what actually happens
Nice try, but you were doomed from the start.
Nice try, but you were doomed from the start.
How to treat a woman.
How to treat a woman.
This woman is teaching geometry. She is clearly a witch.
This woman is teaching geometry. She is clearly a witch.
 
 
The female species is divided into three compartments. There is the girl: A girl is a person who dreams of having a boy kiss her on the lips. Than you have the lady: The lady is a person who thinks every guy should kiss her ass, and than you have a woman who appreciates it when a man kisses her pussy. And that's how you tell 'em apart.
 

 

—Frank Zappa

A woman is the useless skin around the vagina, amirite?

Women were invented in the 7th century BC in the Mesopotamian town of Uruk-Ai. They were at first kept as farm animals by wealthy landowners. The modern English name woman comes from the Latin phrase: Wo = Less Than / Man. In other languages women have different names(or signifiers) but they all have to do with either being a farm animal(see also cow) or being less than men or not being able to control oneself(see also bitch). Women should be kept on a 1200 kcal protein high diet, of which at least 60% should compose of cum. Otherwise your woman may become irritable and overweight.

Though debated otherwise by some feminists, women are NOT people. They are far less intelligent than a human being. In better circles it has become a popular scientific debate though, whether or not women are more intelligent than apes.

Women are genetically inferior. In the womb all fetuses are technically female, testicles and penises are a post female development. Women have a brain that is approximately one-eighth the size of the average male, which leads to serious retardation in most cases. A woman's saving grace is carrying a man's son; when a woman is pregnant with a girl she often doesn't notice, this is because a female fetus is so much less demanding of its mother than a male. Men are entitled to pussy because it is attached to a woman, and in our modern society a woman is a man's property. It is scientific fact that women are always asking for it. A man's greatest attribute is his physical strength which he uses against women because it is the only way they'll learn."

Contents

[edit] Woman

  • Woman,:Latin, Wo = Less Than / Man
  • A woman's opinion does not matter.

As we know, women are fucking useless and can mainly be used for cooking, cleaning and secks. They are also totally fucking useless at basic tasks such as earning money, driving and any sort of strength exercise. The one thing women are useful for is pleasure.

If you listen to John Lennon he will tell you that woman is the nigger of the world. He wrote a song called this because he was pissed that niggers raped Yoko and he couldn't articulate his rage coherently so people mistook this as some kind of anti-chauvinist song when in fact it was meant to be anti-negroid.

[edit] Girls Bathrooms

Whats up with girls bathrooms? Check it out!

Things to know:

  • Girls bathrooms are big.
  • Girls bathrooms are clean.
  • Girls bathrooms are the opposite of your dick.
  • 75% of girls vagina are bleeding at any given time.
  • Most girls that spends time together have their period at around the same time. It's just easier to share pads if they go in a herd.

Women like to go in the bathrooms in packs so they can shit at the same time. They then like to talk about the juicy cock and serious issues (also known ascock). All while releasing their hot steamy piss from their vagina. No lie.

[edit] Correct Viewpoint

The viewpoint of most Christians and other normal people who recognize the obvious is that God created "man" in his own image, meaning, with a cock. Man was lonely, so God created something for him to put his cock in. And (of course) God created something with a womb to make babies. Thus, everyone called the female race "womb-man" because that is their purpose: a womb for babies, and a pleasure hole for the man. ((nono, god created men, thought he could be better, and created women. either that, or it's just a lie women came up with to make themselves feel better...)) They do, of course, have other uses, which range from washing the dishes to drying the dishes to watching Life-affirming television. The other major way to use a woman is to rid her vile presence from the planet, in honor of Marc Lépine.

If you do decide to begin a relationship with a woman but are actually using her for a moist place to insert your cock, she will start leading you to insanity and force you to become emo.

In this video it has been scientifically proven that women are always asking for it, and should always be reminded that they are not self-sufficient, stand alone creatures and should only concern themselves with looking good for Men (masters of womb-man).

THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT A WOMAN. IT IS THE ONLY WAY THEY'LL LEARN.

[edit] Getting a Woman

The fact that you read this probably means that you have never had sex with a woman. Ever. Here is what you have to do:

  • Looks are everything when it comes to women. If you don't look like an androgynous celebrity that's 30 pounds underweight, then... well, you're not getting a woman. Ever.
  • If you think women give two shits about personality, you clearly haven't been around very many females. Lose some weight, fatty. Take up anorexia and they might just accept you.
  • Get at least a basic sense of fashion and hygiene.
  • Women will trade anything for chocolate. The down side is, chocolate will eventually make them fat.
  • Women like drama, and to get one you might have to pretend like you do too. Like, actually be able to express your emotions, you retard (yes, I know. It's hard. Hang in there, Fabio).
  • Women have to be convinced that you are a natural leader before they are willing to have sex with you. Since you most likely aren't, you will have to pretend that you are for at least the 20 first dates, or she will choose someone with actual muscles and actual brains. Thankfully, there is help available.
  • Don't be afraid to show your power over her by beating or fisting her when she steps out of line.
  • Dominate her physically. Women (mostly low-self-esteemed-women) like the idea that a guy can't resist getting a little rough with them.
  • Also, money. Lots and lots of your hard earned money might as well be set aflame because the money grubbing leeches will require all of it just so you can use their vaginas for a place to put your penis.

[edit] Fights with women

Women will often have verbal fights with men, so that they can either feel powerful, try to deny a man his rightful use of her vagina or simply because they like drama, losing battles and being revenge-fucked. An interesting article goes on about the many ways men might try to fight back with women, but we all know the proper way is to tell her once, and if that doesn't work, tell her twice, and then send her to the kitchen with two black eyes to make you a fucking pie.

Furthermore, if you actually win an argument, to the woman you're not being "emotionally sensitive enough" - you have to admit she is right, even when shes not, because women can't admit they're not correct. And, if you just ignore the bitch, its a case of "...woman who subconsciously may want a fight, just to make sure he's as emotionally invested in the relationship as she is." and the only way to win would be to stick it in her pooper.

In any case, the lesson to be learned is that not only should women not argue or fight with you, they shouldn't speak at all. However, if conversation should accidentally occur, here is a demonstration of the correct response:

[edit] Normal Behaviors of women

  • Women may look inside your wallet or any other place they suspect you may have money. You have to nip this in the bud and tell her if you catch her doing this, you will donkey punch her.
  • Women may want to watch lifetime channel. BEWARE! If you let them watch this, they may think they're a victim! Dispose of this channel by any means necessary.
  • Women may try to usurp your authority. DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN! If they become your equal or your superior, they will never find you attractive again. BITCHSLAP THE HOE. Let her know who's boss.
  • Women want expensive things. Not because they're high quality, but because all their friends have them. DO NOT fall into appeasing the bitch. Getting her what she wants only makes her demand more next time. Solve this by reciting the pimps prayer, then slapping that bitch.
  • Women may expect you do your fair share of housework. Laugh at this suggestion and mention that you pay for everything and tell her to shut the fuck up and do what she does best. Cooking, Cleaning, Sex, Sandwiches.
  • Women may ask for pocket money, if they've been a good fuck hole, then grant them some money. BUT if they ask for too much, slap her. Women are like children and need structure and discipline. They will try to get away with as much as they can, and it is your job to make sure they have structure in their lives.
  • Some women enjoy Hello Kitty. How cute, they think you're a paedophile pedophile(TITS OR GTFO BRITFAGS!) child molester. Oh well, when in Rome.
  • Women are natural freeloaders. Get used to never being appreciated for anything. To avoid this behavior, you have to deprive them of everything. Make them earn what they get, no matter how little it is. PROTIP: Do not marry a freeloader. She will divorce you and take half of all your stuff as well as everything you will ever obtain in the future. BONUS PROTIP: Freeloaders may also be cock trappers.
  • Once comfortable, women will make all sorts of demands. They think their vagina is the only fuckhole in the world. Prove them wrong by sleeping with their sister, or at least threaten to sleep with their sister or hot friend. Keep them on the defensive and mentally fuck with them.
  • Women will commonly demand that you pound them using a condom. Should this happen, aquire a strong sedative or chemical with paralysing qualities to achieve the perfect balance of mouth shut - legs open.
  • Women get deeply offended by anything that is clearly funnier than them, and get hyperjealous of anything that brings a man pleasure that is not them. For this reason, they are a leading cause of homosexuality.

[edit] Dangers

There are numerous dangers inherent in any dealings with a woman. Apart from the usual dangers of encountering someone who is batshit crazy, the following perils have been observed:

  • Under no circumstances do what a woman tells you she wants you to. You have to learn to sense what she wants , not what she says she wants.
  • Many women are Attention Whores, who come with additional dangers.
  • Though they don't have souls, they have an inner eye that can see into yours. Once that happens you may be able to fuck but you won't enjoy it. And she'll laugh.
  • Women can explode on contact with an incorrectly configured Toilet Seat.
  • Through a combination of mind control, drugging and boobies, many women attempt to coerce men into a form of servitude known as the "Friend Zone" or worse; marriage. Marriage is to be avoided at all costs for all involved, as it has all the drawbacks of a girlfriend only with less interesting or no sex.
  • Said mind control will permanently turn you into a faggot in no time.
  • Women will call the cops if you prove them right too much. To fix this, aim for the back of the head. Cops can't see bruises if they're covered by hair!
  • Women are all experts of some type of emotional wizardry, beware.
  • Get ready to adopt many babies from Nigeria because women eat these for sustenance.
  • Under any circumstances, do not let a woman drive.(Do a barrel roll.)
  • Never ever let them leave the kitchen!
  • Do not let them read Cosmopolitan.
  • Do not feed your woman as this will cause her to become fat. Women do not need to eat anyway because they obtain sustenance from attention.
  • it should also be known that all woman have razor sharp teeth in their Vagoo, before use of dick hole, it should be noted to punch as hard as possible to remove said teeth

[edit] Women's Rights

Last Thursday some douchebag gave women rights. This was a mistake in that it gave women the impression that they were people. These "rights" include, and are limited to:

  1. The right to be raped by any man at any time.
  2. The right to stay in the kitchen, and only the kitchen, at all times. The rule can be suspended to allow for number 1.
  3. The right to prepare food for their superiors.

[edit] Girls

There are no girls on the internets.[no citation needed]

Well, actually, that isn't really true anymore, since they seem to be popping up where you least expect and least want them. It went something like this:

--> There are no girls on the internets --> There are no hot girls on the internets --> There are no girls wanting me on the internets --> This girl once wanted me on the internets, but turned out to be a gay filipino.


While girls have a vagina, please remember that they would like some sex too, just not with you. This will inevitably lead to you lifting their skirt and start rubbing their vagina regardless what people around you think - that is, until her beefy boyfriend hits you in the head with a bottle and then ass rapes you with it.

The Beastie Boys remind us what girls are good for:

Girls - to do the dishes
Girls - to clean up my room
Girls - to do the laundry
Girls - and in the bathroom

And never forget about the number one use - sex.

[edit] Achievements of Women

The most important thing that a woman has ever done to advance society has been the drawing of the "Biting Pear of Salamcis" art in the LOL WUT meme. Yes, it was drawn by a woman! That'll make you think twice before using it again... overused pic is indeed overused, in any case.

[edit] Gallery

Women are sometimes objectified
Women are sometimes objectified
Women can be attracted using man smells
Women can be attracted using man smells

[edit] See Also

[edit] External Links


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