The Google

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

OH SHI- THE NIGGAS GOT GOOGLE!.

Google, the friendly, helpful search engine.

Proof that Google isn't run by kikes

Google make it easy to troll their 'quality team'

images.google for google images

Google's counterpart, Gizoogle, can be just as high-brow and educated, as is demonstrated with this fine work of Shakespeare: tizzle be tha question.

Typical search results.

The Google[1] (known as google colloquially, more like GOOKLE, amirite?) is an extremely popular porn search engine [2], most helpful for answering questions, stalking ex-girlfriends (a.k.a. That girl you saw once in a bar and never spoke to) and finding old jameth entries[3]. It is also known for its ambition of taking over the world.

[edit] Google Images

Google Images [4] allows a user to search for porn images related to a particular search term. Perfect for finding illustrations for Encyclopedia Dramatica, pictures of cock [5], GIF wars, and Fifty Hitler Posts [6]. And porn. And people watching porn. And hamster porn. And lego porn.

Google image search results make sense. Sometimes.

Google Images is also a key component in the game Google Seppuku, but since that's now an old meme, nobody gives a shit about that anymore. Google images is famous for giving porn for non-related searches, and will even give porno when looking up about cats.

[edit] images.google.com and ED

Most articles on ED are accompanied by images culled from images.google.com, without much forethought. Authors simply look up their search term (or porn) and add the first image that comes up. Those with extra time actually search through the results to find the most fitting image, but that usually isn't as funny. It does give them an excuse to look through more porn though.

For a more detailed analysis of the fine porn art of selecting an image for an ED article, see Image Selection Process (See Also: Porn)

[edit] ED and images.google.com

The reciprical relationship between google images and ED is an interesting one. Searching for all images on Encyclopedia Dramatica results in 104 matches with Safe Search on, but 4,400 matches with this inappropriate image blocker disabled. This proves once and for all that ED is 98% porn.

[edit] I Feels Lucky

Probably the most useful feature Google has, besides porn. Also an important step in the Image Selection Process and Google bombing.

[edit] Google Adsense

The second most useful feature besides porn. Excellent way to make quick money for poor people.

[edit] Other Google Features

[edit] Google Maps

The stalker's new best friend, Google Maps [7] allows you to view your own house via satellite. If you have a really big TV, you could maybe see your porn on the satellite, or if your neighbours are making porn. You can also use Wikimapia's version of Google Maps to provide accurate details of every place in America.

Google Maps gives helpful directions

[edit] Gmail

Gmail is loved because it doesn't reveal your IP when you send an email, saving you time from having to put on a proxy whenever you email someone you don't trust. Fastmail.fm does that too, but it requires an alternative email to sign up and only allows 10 megs storage.

• But signing up with gmail is like this:

• Then logging in is like this and there's no way to set it for basic HTML default so each time logging in you have to wait 2 minutes, get this screen and then click the link:

[edit] Google Earth

Just like the real Earth, only inhabited by Liliputions. And pornians.

[edit] Google PhoneBook

rape her

Google PhoneBook is the best tool to Internet-stalk the pr0n models you dream of inseminating in order to keep your genes in the gene pool.

It's simply the best e-gift Google has given to the e-public.

BUT I CREATED YOU!1!!!oneone

[edit] Google Fight

If you have no social life, then Google Fight is just what you need. You type in two searches, and Google will see which one has the most results. Only used by retards and the lowest of the low. It is reported to be highly unfunny and produce zero lulz. Should one use googlefight for more than an hour, they might not make a funny joke for weeks to come.

[edit] Google Sketchup

Lets you to draw a pretty picture of your house, and upload it to Google Earth, in order to make your stalker's job easier. You can troll by making a model that looks like goatse.

[edit] Google Groups

Through various boring developments, Google Groups lets you search Usenet posts dating back to 1981, and yes there actually was an internet then. There was drama then too, although reading flame wars about cold fusion or the projected release date for Return of the Jedi is only so interesting.

[edit] Google Video

Google Video your one stop shop for Mentos in diet soda and softcore webcam porn videos. Designed to give people the opportunity to become Internet celebrities by sharing dispensable videos of themselves, be it "jackass" stunts or your own unfunny music video parodies in spectacular 8 bit clarity, it has devolved into something so much less. Old memes that were never funny to begin with inevitably make it onto the fabulous Top 100. Composed of conspiracy theories, 15 minute long World of Warcraft pvp videos and 37 variations of Mentos in diet soda, this list shows just how trashy people really are.

[edit] Google Promised Land

Google video hosting website which evolves the feature set of extremely similar to JewTube. It remains less established than its competitors. It features social networking and a "ED Argent filter" which works by lying to the person uploading the video if the content is for mature audiences only. It also features the ability to select a video's thumbnail icon, select from a variety of custom channel templates, add an in-line video player to a channel, block critical users from participating in a channel, restrict video comments to "friends" of the channel, refer a video to popular social bookmarking sites like del.icio.us and digg, and attach videos-replies to video comments. Unlike competitors Revver and YouTube, its for white trash only. The Promised Land does not display advertisements, because it will eventually be bought out by Google.

[edit] Google Checkout

Is a payment system that eBay banned because it's a competitor with PayPal. If you take google checkout payments for eBay auctions and then get suspended on eBay, Google Checkout automaticaly refunds every single buyer who has ever paid you and if you have negative balance, Google drains your bank account.

[edit] Googledork

A Googledork is, according to Johnny Long, "An inept or foolish person as revealed by Google." More specifically, it's a person (usually a Web administrator) who mistakenly leaves or posts sensitive information (or homemade/officemade porn) on a Web site for Google's site scrubbing robots to find, and thereby, discloses private data (and bits) to the Google hackers of the world. If you leave private data (or porn) lying around in public, you shouldn't be surprised when someone finds it and reads it.

[edit] Breaking Google

at least 100 years ago, it was told by the gods, that if you were to type google, into google, you can actually break the internet. The effects of typing google into google are devisating, and causes the google servers to divide by zero. And we all know how that will end.

If for some reason you accidently manage to type google, into google. DO THE FOLLOWING

• Delete fucking everything
• Scream out XENU 3 times and hope.
• ????
• PROFIT
  

<blondi_boii> you shouldnt do that
<bunniz_hunniz> sif the internet will break
<blondi_boii> yeah, iv got it on good authority, that if you type google, into google, the internet will break
<bunniz_hunniz> hahahahahahahaha ORLY?
<blondi_boii> this isnt a joke! its like dividing by zero
<blondi_boii> DONT FUCKING DO IT
<bunniz_hunniz> it cant be that bad...
<blondi_boii> YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR FUCKING WITH!!!!!
<bunniz hunniz> ill send you the screenshot
**bunniz_hunniz is now offline**
<blondi_boii> eh, at least i still got chicken
**blondi_boii is now offline**

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS!!!

[edit] War with eBay

eBay owns a scam site called GayPal and all went well for eBay until some ebayers discovered this pandora's box called a google search. When eBay learnied how this terrible thing of a google search can reveal how PayPal is a scam, eBay banned Google Checkout from its site in retaliation. But when people still kept quitting PayPal, eBay made PayPal required [8] [9] on its entire site. And having your own merchant account no longer lets you get past it.

[edit] See Also

• Missing White Womyn Syndrome
• Qqqqq
• SEO
• Tom Galloway
• Googlewhacking
• ChaCha
• Gizoogle
• Infinite Solutions

[edit] External links

• Stephen Colbert explains the Google/YouTube merger
• Getting banned from google
• Jimbo Pedophile Wales will destroy Google